Viking Kitten
12/26/2006, 11:50 AM
So yesterday, I learned what it must be like to be a married man.
Santa brought Little Soonerovette a doll called Amazing Allysen. Allysen is a "large, interactive doll that utilizes voice recognition, sensory technology and articulated animatronics to offer endless hours of lifelike, nurturing play."
Well... that sounded AWESOME!
So we pop in Allysen's batteries and launch her start up program. Allysen first wants to know what is today's date.
Allysen: Is it the month of January? Say yes or no!
Me: No.
Allysen: Great! Is today the first day of January? Say yes or no!
Me: No.
Allysen: Great! It is the year 2007? Say yes or no!
Me: NO!
Allysen! Great! It's January First, 2007! Happy New Year Years!
Me: What the hell?
Allysen: Now I need to know your birthday! Is it in the month of January? Say yes or no!
Me: No.
Allysen: Great! Is your birthday the first day of January? Say yes or no!
Me: NO, DAMMIT!
Allysen: Great! Hey! Today's your birthday! Happy Birthday!
Little Soonerovette: But Mommy, it's not my birthday.
Me: I know honey. Let's play with Allysen later. Mommy's starting to feel a little frustrated. Let's see. the instructions say squeeze her right hand for 10 seconds to put her in "nap mode." [Squeezes Allysen's right hand]
Allysen: Oh! You want to play! Do you want to brush my hair? Say yes or no!
Me: NO! NO! NO! [Puts death grip on Allysen's right hand]
Allysen: Great! I love to have my hair brushed!
Little Soonerovette: Mommy, why won't she take a nap?
Me: [Fumbling for phillips head screwdriver to remove Allysen's battery cover and take out Allysen's batteries, even though directions explicitly sat not to do this]
Allysen: Let's be best friends!
Me: Arrrgghhhh! Shut up! [succeeds in removing batteries.]
http://cache.gifts.com/photos/A/G/B/2/AGB25WVHRR8JM5P9EJHK_L.jpg
So you know how they have those "practice babies" they give to high school kids so they can see how difficult having a baby is? I think they should market Allysen as a practice wife for dudes considering marriage. Allysen likes to talk, but she doesn't ever want to listen. :D
Santa brought Little Soonerovette a doll called Amazing Allysen. Allysen is a "large, interactive doll that utilizes voice recognition, sensory technology and articulated animatronics to offer endless hours of lifelike, nurturing play."
Well... that sounded AWESOME!
So we pop in Allysen's batteries and launch her start up program. Allysen first wants to know what is today's date.
Allysen: Is it the month of January? Say yes or no!
Me: No.
Allysen: Great! Is today the first day of January? Say yes or no!
Me: No.
Allysen: Great! It is the year 2007? Say yes or no!
Me: NO!
Allysen! Great! It's January First, 2007! Happy New Year Years!
Me: What the hell?
Allysen: Now I need to know your birthday! Is it in the month of January? Say yes or no!
Me: No.
Allysen: Great! Is your birthday the first day of January? Say yes or no!
Me: NO, DAMMIT!
Allysen: Great! Hey! Today's your birthday! Happy Birthday!
Little Soonerovette: But Mommy, it's not my birthday.
Me: I know honey. Let's play with Allysen later. Mommy's starting to feel a little frustrated. Let's see. the instructions say squeeze her right hand for 10 seconds to put her in "nap mode." [Squeezes Allysen's right hand]
Allysen: Oh! You want to play! Do you want to brush my hair? Say yes or no!
Me: NO! NO! NO! [Puts death grip on Allysen's right hand]
Allysen: Great! I love to have my hair brushed!
Little Soonerovette: Mommy, why won't she take a nap?
Me: [Fumbling for phillips head screwdriver to remove Allysen's battery cover and take out Allysen's batteries, even though directions explicitly sat not to do this]
Allysen: Let's be best friends!
Me: Arrrgghhhh! Shut up! [succeeds in removing batteries.]
http://cache.gifts.com/photos/A/G/B/2/AGB25WVHRR8JM5P9EJHK_L.jpg
So you know how they have those "practice babies" they give to high school kids so they can see how difficult having a baby is? I think they should market Allysen as a practice wife for dudes considering marriage. Allysen likes to talk, but she doesn't ever want to listen. :D