The Worst Christmas Movie EVER

[RacerX]

No voting. No other canidates will be considered.

We were at my parents house late into the evening as I tried to reinact the thin wafer mint scene. We roll back to our place about 10pm, put the kiddies to bed, fire up the TV. Wife puts it on the Hallmark Channel and lo and behold a 1984 made for TV movie that I had never seen or heard of -

The Night They Saved Christmas (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087797/)

The plot line - An oil company is exploring two Arctic sites for oil. The needed blasting at the first site rocks Santa Claus' North Pole village. He realizes that any blasting at the second site will destroy his home. He enlists the aid of a woman and her children to convince her husband (who works for the company) that the first site is where the oil they want is. Along the way, Santa explains all his secrets in delivering presents all around the world.

On top of that you've got Art Carney as Santa and Paul Williams (dear lord this guy has been in some stinkers (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071994/)) as the head elf. The only plus to whole movie is that Jaclyn Smith is in it.

The acting, the writing, the "special" effects (the reindeer were pitiful) were beyond horrible.

Wow, this is the best Christmas ever!

[Flagstaffsooner]

You've obviously never seen Santa Clause Conquers the Martians (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/)

[RacerX]

You've obviously never seen Santa Clause Conquers the Martians (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/)

I have it on DVD. That's classically bad. Not the same.

[crawfish]

You've obviously never seen Santa Clause Conquers the Martians (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/)

Well, feel free to judge for yourself...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7709281390847700281

[King Crimson]

i saw whatever that 80's Christmas movie with Dudley Moore on one of my first dates after i had a car. and i fell asleep during the movie. no action for KC that night.

[StoopTroup]

Well, feel free to judge for yourself...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7709281390847700281
So right off the bat...Santa is approached by a roving reporter in a "FUR COAT ! ! " while Santa is making toys for the kids, he's smoking some substance in his pipe while he's painting a toy birdhouse or something...

There isn't any paint on the brush either...

I can't watch anymore...

Very Politically incorrect....:rolleyes:

:pop:

[StoopTroup]

OK...I played it a little more...

He says Nixon is a raindeer...

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1999/china.50/asian.superpower/view.from.taipei/link.nixon.jpg

[StoopTroup]

What the heck is this? :D

http://eyeno.net/photoblog/albums/userpics/10001/santa_claus_conquers_the_martians_00000055.jpg

[StoopTroup]

Camel Nose?

http://marsmovies.free.fr/santa/sf0426.jpg

[Flagstaffsooner]

I didn't mean to start something here.;)

[RacerX]

more from the Hallmark channel

The Night They Saved Christmas
It's a week before Christmas in a coal mining community 200 miles south of the North Pole. Michael Baldwin, the world-famous mineral expert, is supervising oil exploration for IRC, one of the world's largest oil firms. Once again, Michael has uprooted his family and his wife, Claudia, swears this is the last time she will allow their children to be dissattached from a stable life in Los Angeles. She is taking the kids home right after Christmas, with or without Michael.
Things aren't going so well at work either. Sumner Murdoch, Michael's granite-faced boss, threatens to fire him if oil isn't discovered soon. Michael has identified two areas for oil exploration: Site A, the one Michael really believes in, is currently being drilled; but Michael is coming under increasing pressure from Sumner to start on Site B, a much less certain choice.
Michael receives a visit from Ed, a diminutive man with childlike innocence. Ed identifies himself as Santa's Head Elf and warns Michael that dynamiting Site B will destroy Santa and North Pole City. On the other hand, if Michael will just follow his instincts and continue on Site A he will strike oil. Michael laughs heartily at what he thinks is a pretty good practical joke.
A few days later Ed drops in on the Baldwins. Ed convinces the skeptical Claudia to take the kids and accompany him to meet Santa. Michael isn't home, he's working as usual and Claudia is bored and lonely. She decides to go along with the joke. But when Ed'' customized snowmobile, "The Reindeer Zephyr" takes them on a rollercoaster-like ride through snow and ice, Claudia starts to wonder.
The plane descends through a snowstorm and heads directly toward a huge ice wall, which slides open to reveal, like Emerald City or Shangri-La, the breathtaking sight of North Pole City.
Stars: Jaclyn Smith and Art Carney

[John Kochtoston]

Santa with Muscles. That is all.

[Petro-Sooner]

more from the Hallmark channel

The Night They Saved Christmas
It's a week before Christmas in a coal mining community 200 miles south of the North Pole. Michael Baldwin, the world-famous mineral expert, is supervising oil exploration for IRC, one of the world's largest oil firms. Once again, Michael has uprooted his family and his wife, Claudia, swears this is the last time she will allow their children to be dissattached from a stable life in Los Angeles. She is taking the kids home right after Christmas, with or without Michael.
Things aren't going so well at work either. Sumner Murdoch, Michael's granite-faced boss, threatens to fire him if oil isn't discovered soon. Michael has identified two areas for oil exploration: Site A, the one Michael really believes in, is currently being drilled; but Michael is coming under increasing pressure from Sumner to start on Site B, a much less certain choice.
Michael receives a visit from Ed, a diminutive man with childlike innocence. Ed identifies himself as Santa's Head Elf and warns Michael that dynamiting Site B will destroy Santa and North Pole City. On the other hand, if Michael will just follow his instincts and continue on Site A he will strike oil. Michael laughs heartily at what he thinks is a pretty good practical joke.
A few days later Ed drops in on the Baldwins. Ed convinces the skeptical Claudia to take the kids and accompany him to meet Santa. Michael isn't home, he's working as usual and Claudia is bored and lonely. She decides to go along with the joke. But when Ed'' customized snowmobile, "The Reindeer Zephyr" takes them on a rollercoaster-like ride through snow and ice, Claudia starts to wonder.
The plane descends through a snowstorm and heads directly toward a huge ice wall, which slides open to reveal, like Emerald City or Shangri-La, the breathtaking sight of North Pole City.
Stars: Jaclyn Smith and Art Carney

Wow. Now thats something. :D

[Viking Kitten]

Paul Williams gets a pass because he wrote "The Rainbow Connection." Art Carney gets a pass because he was just a sweet old guy. Jaclyn Smith, however, can take her crappy K-Mart clothes and ****ty made for TV movies and kiss my ***.

[TopDawg]

You've obviously never seen Santa Clause Conquers the Martians (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/)

Yeah, when something makes it into MST3K's vault, it's bonafide.

But there's a big difference between sci fi bad and Hallmark bad.

[royalfan5]

Paul Williams gets a pass because he wrote "The Rainbow Connection." Art Carney gets a pass because he was just a sweet old guy. Jaclyn Smith, however, can take her crappy K-Mart clothes and ****ty made for TV movies and kiss my ***.
Paul Williams, another quality Nebraskan.

[CShine]

95% of all Christmas movies are completely unwatchable. I think Hollywood lowers the bar for them. Anything with a Christmas theme automatically gets approved, no matter how atrocious the story is.

[Boise State Penguin]

Well, feel free to judge for yourself...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7709281390847700281


Lol! Directv showed that all week on its free channel.

[ouwasp]

I love this thread! Last week, I caught myself hoping Santa vs the Martians might be on........so bad it's good, you know.

But my wife has had the main tv tuned into those sappy Lifetime Network Christmas flicks.... they ought to make inmates watch those!;)