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Okla-homey
12/21/2006, 01:22 PM
You guys will love this., Its making the rounds throughout the USAF right now. It was forwarded to me by a bud who is still in. This poor kid will be haunted this for the rest of his career I'm afraid.:D

What follows is a USAFA cadet's direct request to an F-15E unit for a Strike Eagle ride over Christmas break. Apparently he has been bugging this particular outfit repeatedly for a ride. Below that is the "guidance" from the major in charge of the unit flight scheduling shop to the cadet and the major's subordinates who are frankly tired of the kid.

The umpteenth request:


From: Redacted IV C3C USAFA/CS20
Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2006 4:59 PM
To: redacted 2dLt 333 FS/Casual
Subject: Cadet request for F-15 ride

Lt. Redacted,

I am a cadet at the Air Force Academy trying to arrange a flight with
the 333rd Fighter Wing between 21 December and 5 January. I have my
Secret Clearance and Physiological Training Card and can coordinate any
AOC approval or necessary medical clearance (Form 1042). My presence
does not impose any limitations on the mission; I'm just along for the
ride. Any further guidance or authorization you can provide on this
matter is much appreciated. Email is the best way to contact me
([email protected]), but my cell phone number is
336.465.redacted.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Very Respectfully,

C3C [redacted] IV
CS-20 Tough Twenty Trolls
United States Air Force Academy

Guidance from the boss (he reminds me of Dean!):


From: RedactedMaj 333 FS/DOV
Sent: Tuesday, December 12, 2006 6:09 PM
To: Redacted IV C3C USAFA/CS20

Cc: [A lot of names I've redacted]

Subject: RE: Cadet request for F-15 ride

You've got some brass balls on you, cadet fourth class redacted
HIV (seriously...is that your real name, lose that 'IV' crap, it just
sounds stupid). Let's break down your message and maybe we can educate
you on a thing or two.

"I'm a cadet at the Air Force Academy."

This message should be over right here. Period dot. Cadets don't troll
for rides, they EARN them through the proper channels just like
everybody else. We've got a long list of maintainers who have earned
awards through this wing to get incentive rides. These guys bust their
asses in the freezing cold and blistering heat and only the lucky few
get the privilege of having a ride. Name me three things you think
you've done to 'earn' a Strike Eagle ride. Seriously. And by the way,
I've read about all the 'hard work' here -
http://www.gdsalumni.blogspot.com/. And I quote "The learning curve was
very steep this past year as I learned about military culture and
doctrine in a pretty stressful environment." Brother, you have no idea
what a stressful environment is.

"trying to arrange a flight with the 333rd Fighter Wing"

Sweet mother of pearl, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. We
are the 333rd Fighter Squadron, and we are a division of the 4th Fighter
Wing. If you want to snivel a ride from us, you ought to at least get
your facts straight. This is the foreshadowing of your ignorance, let's
continue....

"I have my Secret Clearance"

Your secret clearance doesn't mean f*** all to us. You think we're
going to take you up on a tactical sortie? You think we're going to let
you sit in on classified briefings? You think we're going to hang out
and talk tactics with you? YGBFSM.

"and Physiological Training Card"

Your physiological training card doesn't mean f*** all to us. Remember
all those hard working maintainers I mentioned earlier? Not one of them
has a physiological training card - don't try to impress us with that
crap.

"and can coordinate any AOC approval"

Last time I checked, the AOC didn't run the flying schedule of the 4th
FW or coordination of our incentive flights. Apparently you're not
familiar with chain of command and proper channels. Let me tell you
what this does NOT consist of; it does NOT consist of going VFR direct
to the 333rd Fighter Squadron scheduling shop and bothering our hard
working schedulers. This consists of you talking to your commander,
your commander talking to our commander, somebody in between giving the
approval, and then in the middle of your pipe dream you will be denied
your flight.

"My presence does not impose any limitations on the mission; I'm just
along for the ride."

You couldn't be more wrong. What exactly is it you think we do here?
Do you know anything about the F-15E? Do you know anything about
Seymour Johnson? Do you know anything about the 333rd? Since it would
seem the answer to all of the above is a blatant 'No', I'll clue you in.
In the F-15E, while we do have two seats, the second seat is not an
empty seat that only gets occupied when goobs like yourself call up
looking for a ride. It's a seat for qualified aircrew - we call them
Weapon System Officers. He is an essential part of our mission and we
don't give him the boot for guys who are looking to bum a ride. Also,
the 333rd is a Formal Training Unit. That means that we train young
pilots and WSOs, so to give you a ride, we would either have to boot a
student WSO in aforementioned formal course, or an instructor WSO trying
to teach said student WSO. Get the picture?

"Any further guidance or authorization you can provide on this matter is
much appreciated."

...and I'm spent - Hopefully this will serve as all the guidance you
need. Gents, if there is something I have left out of this mentoring
session with young cadet third class citizen redacted the HIV, please
feel free to chime in.

Maj Redacted
Chief of Stan/Eval, 333rd FS
Petro-Sooner
12/21/2006, 01:25 PM
Good stuff.
slickdawg
12/21/2006, 01:29 PM
Hilarious. I sent it to my BIL, he'll get a kick out of it.
Dio
12/21/2006, 01:33 PM
Heh.
yermom
12/21/2006, 01:33 PM
ouch
SoonerBorn68
12/21/2006, 01:37 PM
YGBFSM

That's almost as good as GADOCADWI. :D
Petro-Sooner
12/21/2006, 01:38 PM
Forgive my ignorance, but what do both of those mean?
Okla-homey
12/21/2006, 01:38 PM
That's almost as good as GADOCADWI. :D

for those trying to work that out: YGBFSM = You Gotta Be F'n Sh1ttin' Me!

It goes back to VietNam. The Wild Weasel guys had it on their unit patch. It was placed there because it is allegedly what the first candidate Weasel pilot replied when he was briefed on the scope and purpose of his new mission. That mission involved flying around in a big honkin' F-105 at medium altitude, trolling for bad guys on the ground until a SAM radar locked on to his jet. The Weasel was then supposed to dive on the radar site (which he located by tracking the source of the radar emission on cockpit instruments specially installed for the purpose) and hopefully, get off a air-to-surface missile to kill the SAM radar BEFORE a SAM was launched and smoked him.

As amazing as it sounds, it usually worked.
Frozen Sooner
12/21/2006, 01:39 PM
Congratulations, Homey.

You have officially gotten me to forward my first funny e-mail to someone. There's a former USAF flight tech in my office who's rolling with laughter right now.
Sooner_Bob
12/21/2006, 01:47 PM
That is freakin' hilarious.
Vaevictis
12/21/2006, 01:56 PM
Someone ought to tell the kid that you can bum rides off of the Marines if they think you're interested in signing up ;)

There's always a flyer up on 4th floor CEC; although, iirc, it's an F/A-18 ride being offered.
OU4LIFE
12/21/2006, 01:56 PM
My cousin works at Seymour-Johnson.

that's funny.
Osce0la
12/21/2006, 02:00 PM
for those trying to work that out: YGBFSM = You Gotta Be F'n Sh1ttin' Me!

I figured that had to be what that meant. If I was wrong I was just going to keep believing that I was right...
TUSooner
12/21/2006, 03:27 PM
So that answer is, like... "no"?
BajaOklahoma
12/21/2006, 03:36 PM
So I'm guessing the Christmas sponsor gift isn't going to be a flight with the 333rd FS.
IB4OU2
12/21/2006, 03:43 PM
There's nothing like humiliating a young cadet and letting everyone know about it......that Major's quite the leader. :rolleyes:
OU4LIFE
12/21/2006, 04:01 PM
you reap what you sow IB, He earned that by not going through the proper channels IMO.
C&CDean
12/21/2006, 04:08 PM
My dad worked at the AFA in the 1950's (I was born in Colo. Springs). He can tell a thousand stories similar to this one. And they're all great.

Thank God we have people like Major Redacted around to keep the spoiled, rich, punk brats in line.
IB4OU2
12/21/2006, 04:19 PM
My dad worked at the AFA in the 1950's (I was born in Colo. Springs). He can tell a thousand stories similar to this one. And they're all great.

Thank God we have people like Major Redacted around to keep the spoiled, rich, punk brats in line.

Yep he learned his lesson...

I just get tired of AFA brass and some of their attitudes. I worked for a retired AFA General (many of you see him on TV all the time in OKC) for several years and am now working for a retired AFA Colonel....continuous public humiliation of their employees is a common tool for them. I get tired of it not that it's been done to me but I see it every day.
BeetDigger
12/21/2006, 04:33 PM
My dad worked at the AFA in the 1950's (I was born in Colo. Springs).


Well for crying out loud, something I have in common with Dean as I too was born in the shadow of Pikes Peak.
Vaevictis
12/21/2006, 05:40 PM
There's nothing like humiliating a young cadet and letting everyone know about it......that Major's quite the leader. :rolleyes:

If you read Homey's original post, apparently the cadet had been pestering them for some time. My guess is that the polite responses weren't working, so something stronger was called for.
IB4OU2
12/22/2006, 08:53 AM
You guys will love this., Its making the rounds throughout the USAF right now. It was forwarded to me by a bud who is still in. This poor kid will be haunted this for the rest of his career I'm afraid.:D

What follows is a USAFA cadet's direct request to an F-15E unit for a Strike Eagle ride over Christmas break. Apparently he has been bugging this particular outfit repeatedly for a ride. Below that is the "guidance" from the major in charge of the unit flight scheduling shop to the cadet and the major's subordinates who are frankly tired of the kid.

The umpteenth request:



Guidance from the boss (he reminds me of Dean!):

Sorry, I over looked the highlighted area on Homeys inital post...the kid did deserve it and yes I do get tired of dealing with the retired AF brass daily but I do have great respect for them. :)
afs
12/22/2006, 09:10 AM
FYI - the wing cc at S-J made the 333rd FS apologize to the cadet for the reply and he is getting an incentive ride out of this whole deal.

Find Boffingham and ask him about the situation.
OU4LIFE
12/22/2006, 09:25 AM
weak. If he had any nuts, he'd decline the ride.
Okla-homey
12/22/2006, 04:49 PM
FYI - the wing cc at S-J made the 333rd FS apologize to the cadet for the reply and he is getting an incentive ride out of this whole deal.

Find Boffingham and ask him about the situation.

I guess I could support the apology part, but the wing/cc at S-J is a big puss who will have helped create a monster if the kid gets a ride. Not mention cutting off one of his own guys at the knees.:mad:
TheHumanAlphabet
12/22/2006, 09:40 PM
Classic!
TheHumanAlphabet
12/22/2006, 09:41 PM
So that answer is, like... "no"?

LMAO! spek to you!!
TheHumanAlphabet
12/22/2006, 09:46 PM
There's nothing like humiliating a young cadet and letting everyone know about it......that Major's quite the leader. :rolleyes:

Yeah, he earned it. If you read the first post, this was apparently had been repeatedly bugging the squadron. Once or twice and being politely told no or ignored (same thing) would not get this response. I suspect he did this multiple times to earn this classic. One thing this cadet needs to learn - how to read between the lines, how to use the command structure and who to find out who knows what, so you can ask unofficially and get a favor...A quick way to survive in the military.
TheHumanAlphabet
12/22/2006, 09:50 PM
FYI - the wing cc at S-J made the 333rd FS apologize to the cadet for the reply and he is getting an incentive ride out of this whole deal.

Find Boffingham and ask him about the situation.

That's BS!!! As OU4life says, he should decline...If not, I guess he'll get to learn what its like to puke in your facemask...
afs
12/23/2006, 12:16 AM
That's BS!!! As OU4life says, he should decline...If not, I guess he'll get to learn what its like to puke in your facemask...

You're right it is total BS. But this is a kinder, gentler USAF we all work in now. :rolleyes: I know how I'm going to treat this guy if I ever run across him in the future.