Well, I shoulda got the message.

[LoyalFan]

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know I, even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me anymore

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me anymore, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me me anymore.

Dang!!!
I thought we wuz doin' fine.

LF

[Frozen Sooner]

Man, that's some old Weird Al.

[LoyalFan]

Man, that's some old Weird Al.\

You betcha, but somehow it seems to fit tonight's encounter (even though she's sound asleep...or acoma...in my bed as we speak.)
When you encounter a lady at a pub, strike up a conversation, and she wants to "sleep over", you aren't far off the mark if you suspect she's a serial emasculator. Some of the comments she offered as we spawned were, to say the least, upsetting.
Well, anyway, I'm securely ensconced, door locked, in the guest/computer/fishing tackle/gun room, as she peacefully snoreth many feet away.
I shall, howevAr, remain on alert.
Come the dawn, I shall usher her to the door, coffee in hand, in the hope that her Lexus starts on the first try.

LF

[critical_phil]

i used to be married to that chick.

[SoonerTerry]

I'd hit it...... at her house

[Penguin]

Slap her around a little bit. That'll earn ya some respect.

[OUinFLA]

Is/was she hawt?
That overcomes a lot of crap.

[Widescreen]

Is/was she hawt?
That overcomes a lot of crap.
Leave it to ^^^^^ to cut to the heart of the matter. :P

[Penguin]

I wanna know what she said. :D

[LoyalFan]

By way of response to questions posed...

Hawt? Yais! Late thirties, brunette, pretty, very well groomed and dressed, shapely as all get-out. Amazed me with her interest in a markedly older chap...that would be me. Once married, no kids.
Penguin, in response to your query...She mentioned a desire to castrate one of her male relatives and her ex-husband. She happened to be fondling my, well, you know, at the time. That explains why I vacated the bed once she was comatose.
This AM I found her smoking a joint on my condo balcony! That crap is verboten in my world. So, I took her to breffus at The Crackwhore Barrel, bade her farewell, and spent the rest of the day annoying the bass at a nearby lake.
Gonna try to be tactful, but firm, in my refusal of further encounters. Did send flowers, (pro forma for me,) but will avoid the particular drinkery where we met for at least six weeks.
This is all most regrettable 'cause she's educated, well-spoken, and a certified hottie. Still, too many warning signs, especially her fantasies and the maryjane. Nice car, though.

That's about it.

LF

[SoonerTerry]

hhmmmm......

hottie....nice car....good job....buys her own pot....has penis fetish....

..still have her number.;) :D