Ways your "inner hillbilly" has manifested itself [Archive]

Frozen Sooner

12/12/2006, 02:43 PM

Attempted to melt snow and ice off a driveway with gasoline and a match.

Attempted to weed a volleyball court with diesel and a match.

Sat in front of the house on a couch during sorority rush and critiqued.

Built a potato gun and fired it at my own fence.

Ate moose heart.

Shredded the back 40 at 25 miles an hour, then acted surprised when I bent the tractor axle.

Fugue

12/12/2006, 02:44 PM

noodlin'

royalfan5

12/12/2006, 02:50 PM

Pretty much every thing I did with or in my 1979 Cutlass Supreme

Drinking warm beer I found left over from the week before

Any time I ever thought, I wonder if this will hurt? and then it did

Billy_Baller

12/12/2006, 02:51 PM

Jumping off Big Daddy, drunk and stoned.

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 02:54 PM

Hunting deer out of my hottub!

Mongo

12/12/2006, 02:55 PM

home made napalm and hangin out a car window shooting road signs with a twelve guage.

Tulsa_Fireman

12/12/2006, 02:57 PM

Riding the front end of a oil pump with my inebriated coworker as he coached me on my saddlebronc skills.

Needless to say, I suck at ridin' saddlebronc.

C&CDean

12/12/2006, 02:59 PM

Far, FAR too many to mention.

OKLA21FAN

12/12/2006, 03:17 PM

'free camping' area outside turn three on 'the hill' at Talledega.

sanantoniosooner

12/12/2006, 03:19 PM

I suppose tube fishing with shorts and bare feet would qualify also.

Always cool to feel the perch yanking at leg hairs.

(quote farking in 3...2.....1....)

Okla-homey

12/12/2006, 03:20 PM

Long guns on racks on the wall in the family room. Several in fact.

soonerloyal

12/12/2006, 03:30 PM

Every time my great-uncle told me to stay away from the cattle fence because it was on, I HAD to grab it. Oh sure, I believed him and after the first shock, knew what was coming. But I grabbed it again anyway, every time. I'm stubborn.

Then again, I was five. Does that still count? :D

Somebody ought to send this thread link to Callahan and the Boise State fanboard. They'd love it.
:eek:

royalfan5

12/12/2006, 03:35 PM

I should also mention my parents met because my mom liked by Dad's bitching Firebird. When I was younger, the working tv sat on top of a non-working tv for a long time.

sanantoniosooner

12/12/2006, 03:35 PM

OK.

PAGING ANYONE WHO HAS PEE'D ON AN ELECTRIC FENCE.

We need to hear about this.

Osce0la

12/12/2006, 03:37 PM

Built a potato gun and fired it at my own fence.
I did this, except that it was fired at the backboard of my basketball goal. To this day there is still a large crack in the backboard...

Osce0la

12/12/2006, 03:38 PM

OK.

PAGING ANYONE WHO HAS PEE'D ON A CARPET.

We need to hear about this.
he'll probably be by soon...

crawfish

12/12/2006, 03:45 PM

(I was involved in a cow-tipping. Once.) :O

SoonerJack

12/12/2006, 03:49 PM

I should also mention my parents met because my mom liked by Dad's bitching Firebird. When I was younger, the working tv sat on top of a non-working tv for a long time.

RoyalFan, I think you mean bitchin' firebird?

And we had the stacked tv set entertainment center as well. With the tv that had vertical hold issues...that could be fixed with a good whack upside the set. Oh, and there was foil around the antenna.

OKLA21FAN

12/12/2006, 03:52 PM

I should also mention my parents met because my mom liked by Dad's bitching Firebird. When I was younger, the working tv sat on top of a non-working tv for a long time.
ever wondered if you were conceived in that firebird?

that might top the inner hillbilly in all of us!

achiro

12/12/2006, 03:52 PM

Far, FAR too many to mention.
I was thinking the same thing. Hell, mine manifests itself everyday, all I have to do is look in the mirror to find it.:D

royalfan5

12/12/2006, 03:53 PM

RoyalFan, I think you mean bitchin' firebird?

And we had the stacked tv set entertainment center as well. With the tv that had vertical hold issues...that could be fixed with a good whack upside the set. Oh, and there was foil around the antenna.
speaking antenna's. We had finally got a used outside antenna. The only problem was that it had to be moved manually, which consisted of my having to run outside and turn it by hand. That sucked a lot in the winter when my parents wanted to watch something else and I had to run out and turn it in the snow.

C&CDean

12/12/2006, 03:54 PM

OK.

PAGING ANYONE WHO HAS PEE'D ON AN ELECTRIC FENCE.

We need to hear about this.

Who hasn't?

sanantoniosooner

12/12/2006, 03:55 PM

Who hasn't?
Me.

royalfan5

12/12/2006, 04:00 PM

Who hasn't?
I haven't. I've been around livestock my whole life, and have never even been shocked by an electric fence.

slickdawg

12/12/2006, 04:02 PM

home made napalm
home made black powder cannon

frankensooner

12/12/2006, 04:13 PM

Back in highschool, we used to switch drivers in the pick up truck by climbing out the drivers side window whilst the other guy slid over to the drivers seat. You then ran around the bed and jumped in the passenger window, all of course at 50mph.

Okla-homey

12/12/2006, 04:22 PM

I have also burned household garbage in a 55 gallon drum.

Long story. Sanitation worker strike. Tennessee.

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 04:25 PM

I have also burned household garbage in a 55 gallon drum.

Long story. Sanitation worker strike. Tennessee.

I do this a couple of times a week!

Okla-homey

12/12/2006, 04:26 PM

I do this a couple of times a week!

Earth raper!

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 04:26 PM

I have an OU sticker in the back window of my truck!

Okla-homey

12/12/2006, 04:27 PM

I have an OU sticker in the back window of my truck!

What? No upside down wHorns?

royalfan5

12/12/2006, 04:28 PM

I do this a couple of times a week!
That was my favorite chore growing up. Except our drum was about half gone. There are few things more fun than burning things.

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 04:29 PM

Earth raper!

Come on over I'll introduce you to my neighbors that have 2 old trailer houses bolted together. They didn't even know you could burn that trash stuff!:)

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 04:30 PM

What? No upside down wHorns?

<-------thinks that's stupid!

achiro

12/12/2006, 04:33 PM

One of the greatest hillbilly things I've ever seen was in Arkansas. The bedspring antenna. Folks that live down in the valleys don't get the greatest reception so they get a big box spring mattress and stick it way up in a tree for extra height. It must work because I saw a lot of people that had done it.

Ike

12/12/2006, 04:36 PM

while living in the dorms at OCU, the school had (and probably still does) somewhat strict rules about not having members of the opposite sex in your room after a certain time. somewhere between 10 or 12...I forget what the actual deadline was. Anyhow, unless you were really stupid, there was only one day per semester when you could get caught. Fire drill day. They'd do the fire drills one dorm at a time, about 10 minutes after 'curfew', starting with, you guessed it, mine, which was one of two all-guys dorms. (they would also use the fire drill as an excuse to search your room for alcohol or drugs). Anyhow, the times that this happened when I didn't get caught with wimmins in my room, (which was all but one, because I had an RA that would tip me off), myself and some of my friends would evacuate with lawn chairs in hand. We'd then trek across the street and sit in the chairs directly in front of the girls dorm, and wait for the fire drill to happen there.
This was always a good show, because there were always a number of freshman girls that would take the fire drill super-serious like and come waltzing out in their underthings.

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 04:37 PM

Billy_Baller

12/12/2006, 05:01 PM

snipe hunts

DustySooner

12/12/2006, 05:15 PM

My whole family are a bunch of hillbillies and as I've grown up I've tried not to adopt those hillbilly ways..but I realized I failed. One day I was spending time out at my dad's house which is in the middle of nowhere right outside of Calumet and southeastish of Okarche and a bull from a neighboring land had gotten on to my dad's land and had been there for a few days. Well that day I was mowing my dad's lawn with his riding lawnmower and the bull found its way to my dad's house and had been hanging around there all day so I decided I would try to scare it off my dad's property. I succeeded..I chased the bull out of my dad's land and down the dirt road for about a quarter of a mile then I turned around and putted my way back. The neighbor across the road had been standing on his front porch and witnessed the entire shenanigan, and of course he was laughing his arse off. He said he just saw a bull running down the road and then me a few seconds later going .0002 miles per hour behind it. It was then I realized I'm as hillbilly as my family and I can't help it. I guess I'll embrace it.

sanantoniosooner

12/12/2006, 05:17 PM

Peeing in the front yard is a given.

My dad has been known to take medicine intended for animals.

achiro

12/12/2006, 05:18 PM

<------Has lived in Arkansas for 25 years and never seen this!
I can't even tell you what part of the state we were in, I was young enough that I didn't care. Just lots of hills and a very curvy road. We stopped at a small town store for something to drink and my dad asked about the beds in the trees. We initially thought there had been a tornado in the area.

TheHumanAlphabet

12/12/2006, 05:25 PM

LOL!!

I'd have to go with stealing bowling balls from the bowling alley after midnight madness bowling and throwing them out of a car window to hit mailboxes in the neighborhood...One "blowed up real good..." :D

BlondeSoonerGirl

12/12/2006, 05:34 PM

This site can't handle the bandwidth it would take for me to list all mine. Sweet jebus...

But...here are a few of my favorites:

1. Hitting the sock hanging out of a dog's butt with a stick just for fun.

2. Swimming in a horse trough.

3. Taking a bath with about 6 or 7 of my cousins and using Tide for bubble bath when we were kids. WHEN WE WERE KIDS.

4. Building a fort out of cinder blocks and then building small 'cooking fire pits' in the holes of the cinder blocks to cook hot dogs. Hot dogs impaled with dirty sticks and unwound wire clothes hangers. Yes, we ate them.

5. Catching ants and feeding them to horny toads.

6. Swimming with snapping turtles in the creek behind our house.

7. Making a snow sled out of a VW hood and pulling it with a 4-wheeler.

8. Gathering-up all the unpopped firecrackers and putting them in a 5-gallon bucket, pouring some Vitamin G in with it (because gunpowder's not flammable enough) and throwing in a match.

9. Riding a St. Bernard like a horse.

10. Making a hat out of giant tumbleweeds.

TheHumanAlphabet

12/12/2006, 05:37 PM

Oh and I think I may have married into hillbilly as my BIL set the back yard on fire trying to burn ants with a magnifying glass...

Ike

12/12/2006, 05:43 PM

setting the backyard on fire "for the hell of it"

pb4ou

12/12/2006, 05:48 PM

Making homemade firecrackers with my cousin.

<minature pipe bombs>

We put one under a five gallon bucket and the bucket got blown into about 100 different pieces.

My cousin dropped one in the creek and several fish floated up top. :eek:

SicEmBaylor

12/12/2006, 05:52 PM

I spent an entire summer in Waco doing nothing but sitting in my friend's lawn with a pellet gun and beer shooting black birds and pigeons and watching them be carried away by some stray cat.

Frozen Sooner

12/12/2006, 05:52 PM

Sinking the front end of a Jeep into a lake when the ice gave way.

Jumping a vehicle across a chasm. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

A couple of friends in high school went through the back door of a liquor store after closing (because the party was out of beer, see?) took about 10 cases of beer, and left a $20 bill because they figured that would cover it.

Blew a tire pulling brodies (doughnuts to you) in a parking lot.

Had a SWEET mullet.

Wore my letter jacket everywhere in high school.

Went fishin' in the crick behind the house. Yeah, the polluted one.

Refer to lighter fluid as "Boy Scout water."

Shot fireworks at the annoying neighbor's house.

Went hunting with bow and arrow and my good friend Jack Daniels late at night.

Drove around in a pickup bed with a shotgun and a walkie talkie so my buddy who was driving could tell me when a good target was approaching.

Dated the coach's daughter. Note: do not do this unless you REALLY like to run.

Used to love fried bologna and barbeque sauce sandwiches.

oilmud

12/12/2006, 05:53 PM

I spent an entire summer in Waco doing nothing but sitting in my friend's lawn with a pellet gun and beer shooting black birds and pigeons and watching them be carried away by some stray cat.

Problem is I woulda shot the cat as well.

SicEmBaylor

12/12/2006, 06:08 PM

Problem is I woulda shot the cat as well.
We did at the end of the summer. :D:texan:

BigRedJed

12/12/2006, 06:29 PM

1. Eating goose liver sandwiches.

2. Buying livers and gizzards from a gas station. And LOVING them.

3. Standing up in the bed of a pickup doing 70 down a black two-lane. And then placing one foot on the top of the tailgate and looking over the tailgate to the road whizzing by below. Did I mention that I was D-runk? Wait a minute. Maybe I need to start a Darwin award thread instead of posting this one.

4. Going duck hunting in tennis shoes because I didn't bring any boots when I went visitin'.

5. Towing friends on snowpacked streets and snow skis behind my '69 Scout.

6. Two words: curly mullet. Curly... ...because it was permed.

7. Riding in a home made wagon, built to look like a hotrod, pulled behind a donkey.

8. Sitting on a fence INSIDE a rodeo ring with the bull chute right behind me. Occasionally we'd all have to jump off when a bull's horns would rake along the top of the fence to avoid having our asses impaled.

9. Giving our dogs rabies shots myself to avoid taking them to the vet.

10. I loves me some Moon Pies!

OKLA21FAN

12/12/2006, 06:29 PM

BlondeSoonerGirl

12/12/2006, 06:31 PM

Ooh, that reminds me...

11. Perming mullets for the boys.

BigRedJed

12/12/2006, 06:32 PM

Did I really just type something about asses being impaled?

OKLA21FAN

12/12/2006, 06:47 PM

stringing up a few strings of Xmas lights either on the roof or in my sloping front yard in the 'interlocking OU' during the holidays

(been doing that since 1994)

Okla-homey

12/12/2006, 07:13 PM

Falling asleep on some other peoples' livin' room floor while my parents and them was visitin'. The men played dominoes and the wimmins played "Yahtzee." All amid the tender strains of Hank Sr. on the record player.

At age 8, washing engine parts for my grandfather in a bucket of gasoline -- barehanded of course. It was usually a carbeurator.

Sitting on the front porch at night watching june bugs attracted by the porch light get stuck to the screen door.

Pouring used motor oil along chain link fencerows to kill weeds.

Eating fried baloney sammiches, with onions.

Fried okra = Hillbilly popcorn.

Okla-homey

12/12/2006, 07:15 PM

Ooh, that reminds me...

11. Perming mullets for the boys.

How about them "rat tail" dealios for little shavers? You know, normal haircut on a little boy, except for a long strand in the back middle that hung below the collar.

achiro

12/12/2006, 07:25 PM

I don't know how all y'all have been livin my life at the same time but other than the rat tail and the standin over the tailgate at 70 mph d-runk(thats just dumb), oh and giving the boys perms, I think I've done pretty much all of it.:D

sanantoniosooner

12/12/2006, 07:28 PM

oh and giving the boy sperms, I think I've done pretty much all of it.:D
:eek:

VeeJay

12/12/2006, 07:36 PM

I served as the getaway driver of my buddy's car in HS after he threw a commode over an interstate overpass at oncoming traffic.

I strung up Christmas lights in the shape of a Confederate flag over my window at my apt. in 1992.

I did a long, loud Tarzan yell after the summer race at Bristol in the makeshift campground following the race. Got a few copycats but many more "Shut the f--- up!"s.

In HS, the brakes on my '70 Maverick went out and coupled with freezing rain, I slid off the road and nudged the car up against a telephone pole to stop. :cool:

BlondeSoonerGirl

12/12/2006, 07:41 PM

12. Bringing my wet gloves in and clothes-pinning them to the vent on the wall furnace to dry them after snowball fighting.

BlondeSoonerGirl

12/12/2006, 07:42 PM

13. Wearing two pairs of my brother's socks on my hands just to get back in the snowball fight because my gloves were so wet they froze to my hands.

Mjcpr

12/12/2006, 08:01 PM

12. Bringing my wet gloves in and clothes-pinning them to the vent on the wall furnace to dry them after snowball fighting.

Shoot Booty, that ain't hillbilly, that's usin' your learnin'.

VeeJay

12/12/2006, 08:56 PM

Here's a pic I made at the 1979 National Tobacco Spitting Contest in Raleigh, MS.

This was a female contestant.

Folks, I'm just sayin'....

http://216.77.188.54/coDataImages/p/Groups/279/279949/pages/734728/Raleigh1979.jpg

achiro

12/12/2006, 10:34 PM

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 10:43 PM

Putting an empty bread sack over my sock's then putting on my tennis shoes before going out and playing in the snow.

BoogercountySooner

12/12/2006, 10:44 PM

Using RidX every month!

SicEmBaylor

12/12/2006, 10:51 PM

I have a cousin named Billy Bob Berry who makes homemade strawberry wine and used to belong to an organization that went looking for Big Foot in the hills of Southeastern Oklahoma.

sanantoniosooner

12/12/2006, 11:01 PM

I have a cousin named Billy Bob Berry
could have stopped there.

VeeJay

12/12/2006, 11:13 PM

mom?

If it were, would that serve to ensconce me in the annals of hillbillery?

No, that was a member of a BBC film crew, there to tape a documentary of the cultural icon that the NTSC was in the day.

This was the event in which my dad began chewing tobacco, a pasttime that he enjoys to this day.

:pop:

achiro

12/13/2006, 09:22 AM

So has anyone ever solved the mystery of why a grocery store floor will turn your bare feet blacker than any other place on earth?

BoogercountySooner

12/13/2006, 09:27 AM

So has anyone ever solved the mystery of why a grocery store floor will turn your bare feet blacker than any other place on earth?

They use floor jack's that leave a black residew on the floor from their tires.

picasso

12/13/2006, 09:29 AM

snipe hunts
ha! me too.

me and my cousin nearly burned down an empty field near our neighborhood. I knew it was bad when a nearby town's fire truck showed up.

I shot every bird known to man as kid with my bb gun.

I also knocked a Robin out of a tree once throwing a golf ball at it.

high school bonfire parties on rural roads in the boonies (small town thing).

oh yeah, and I had a full beard in 4th grade and wore coveralls.

OULOVE

12/13/2006, 10:31 AM

A year ago I went tubing down the Poudre river (Class III) without a life preserver. That about scared the hillbilly right out of me. And when did it become hillbilly to scotchguard your jeans and go skiing (with the sandwich bags on your feet).

VeeJay

12/13/2006, 11:24 AM

Mrs. VJ's birthday was last week. I sent her a dozen roses, delivered to the house. She proudly displayed them on the dining room table.

I chuckled when I noticed a can of Raid next to the flowers.

sooner n houston

12/13/2006, 12:42 PM

I once "carpeted" my back porch with gunny sacks! :D

soonerinabilene

12/13/2006, 01:23 PM

rear-ended somebody in my 87 mazda b2000. smashed the headlight. knew i was just gonna take it to a junk yard when i got a new one, so instead of fixing the headlight for the two weeks i was gonna have to keep driving the truck, i duct-taped one of those "tap" lights in its place. couldnt see crap, but it kept me from getting pulled over at night.

OKLA21FAN

12/13/2006, 01:27 PM

soonerbrat

12/13/2006, 01:44 PM

when I was 11-12, i lived in a log cabin on a mountain where the only heater was a pot-bellied stove...we had goats and chickens and a donkey and a mule and a horse...in the wintertime i had to go out and chop a hole in the pond so that the livestock would have water....is that hillbilly?

Mjcpr

12/13/2006, 01:48 PM