PDA

View Full Version : How much time should you alot........


sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 01:12 PM
to give the appearance that you tried to do a little around the house before the wife got home?
proud gonzo
12/5/2006, 01:14 PM
all damn day :P
Widescreen
12/5/2006, 01:15 PM
1. Have headphones and ipod on your person as you watch TV
2. Wait for sound of garage door opening
3. Grab vacuum cleaner, put on headphones
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 01:38 PM
I've mastered the "run to the shower and pretend you've been in there a while" technique.
Mongo
12/5/2006, 01:41 PM
Dude, you have the ultimate excuse: take your cough syrup again and relax. Blame it on your sickness and your reaction to the drugs.
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 01:51 PM
Dude, you have the ultimate excuse: take your cough syrup again and relax. Blame it on your sickness and your reaction to the drugs.
I have to save the sickness card for when I'm faking.
fadada1
12/5/2006, 01:52 PM
just enough to get you some action.
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 02:05 PM
Well, I'm down to 25 minutes.

Time for a snack, and then get some stuff out of the car that I already told her I got out over the phone.
Fugue
12/5/2006, 02:09 PM
I'm an expert on this. After years of trying different formulas I've found that I can do absolutely nothing right up until she walks in. As long as the first impression she gets when she walks in is that I'm really busy. It's an art but there is hell to pay if she sees you through the window before entering.

Note to self: Pull blinds in living room.
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 02:10 PM
I can always sneak in one more post, but flood control is straining my marriage.
Fugue
12/5/2006, 02:14 PM
I can always sneak in one more post, but flood control is straining my marriage.

are you sneaking in one more post or are you doing some internets Christmas shopping for her? It's all in the description man. :texan:
I_SMELL_FEAR
12/5/2006, 02:51 PM
I usualy just spend about 5 minutes doing the most obvious stuff, like put a load of laundry in and unload dishwasher.

You have mastered the "run to shower". I have mastered the "shutdown and put up xbox" before she gets in house.
C&CDean
12/5/2006, 03:14 PM
Geez guys. Does a captain jump up off his bunk when the first mate walks in? Does the president jump up and act busy when the Chief of Staff walks in? On the rare occasion that I'm even in the house when she comes home, I've never jumped up and acted like I was doing something. Evar. Besides she usually says something like "hey honey, it's good to see you're relaxing a little bit and not working so hard - can I get you something to drink or eat?"
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 03:15 PM
I spent about 5 minutes prepping the garage, and then I was able to run out there right when she drove up and look busy.
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 03:16 PM
Geez guys. Does a captain jump up off his bunk when the first mate walks in? Does the president jump up and act busy when the Chief of Staff walks in? On the rare occasion that I'm even in the house when she comes home, I've never jumped up and acted like I was doing something. Evar. Besides she usually says something like "hey honey, it's good to see you're relaxing a little bit and not working so hard - can I get you something to drink or eat?"
How many people knew exactly what Dean would say as soon as he found this thread?
http://home.jeffandsue.org/home_files/call_01_raise_hand.jpg
Viking Kitten
12/5/2006, 03:18 PM
Geez guys. Does a captain jump up off his bunk when the first mate walks in? Does the president jump up and act busy when the Chief of Staff walks in? On the rare occasion that I'm even in the house when she comes home, I've never jumped up and acted like I was doing something. Evar. Besides she usually says something like "hey honey, it's good to see you're relaxing a little bit and not working so hard - can I get you something to drink or eat?"

You know why Mrs. Dean is so awesome? Because she's smart enough to allow Dean to actually think he's in charge. ;)
C&CDean
12/5/2006, 03:19 PM
Don't be ****ed just because I live the life a man is supposed to live. One can strive for manliness you know. You don't have to spend your life being pantywaist to a female unit. I'm just sayin'...
C&CDean
12/5/2006, 03:21 PM
You know why Mrs. Dean is so awesome? Because she's smart enough to allow Dean to actually think he's in charge. ;)

Heh.
1stTimeCaller
12/5/2006, 03:23 PM
Dean, you forget that some of us have been there to help setup a tailgate.
Widescreen
12/5/2006, 03:25 PM
Dean could've gone a whole lot further with that than he did. Kudos on the restraint. :D
C&CDean
12/5/2006, 03:29 PM
Dean, you forget that some of us have been there to help setup a tailgate.

And what does a tailgate involve? That's right, food and drink. Who am I to tell her where the tables/chairs/food warmers/etc. go? Besides, she's the tailgate nazi. The switch flips the minute we pull up and there's work to do. It goes from "honey, can I fill up your coffee" to "would you quit drinking that beer and set up these damned tables?"
1stTimeCaller
12/5/2006, 03:30 PM
:D
sanantoniosooner
12/5/2006, 03:31 PM
Interesting.

Dean's only moments of wussification just happen to be in the presence of everyone at the tailgates.

But the rest of the time...............

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
soonerloyal
12/5/2006, 03:34 PM
Oh, for pete's sake, fellas...just DO a few things she asks you to, and get 'em over with! Then you've earned the right to sit here and post away, because you've helped her out the right way.

Yeah, like that'll fly...in 27 years of marriage and three sons, I've learned better. But I had to try. I'm an eternal optimist.
:O
C&CDean
12/5/2006, 03:34 PM
Interesting.

Dean's only moments of wussification just happen to be in the presence of everyone at the tailgates.

But the rest of the time...............

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Nay, not "everyone." Only those few who actually show up and help set up - which urine boy happens to do sometimes. He'll ask "so what do you need me to do?" And I can only answer "I don't know, you better ask the nazi." Seriously, when it's time to go to work, you better get after it, or get the **** outta the woman's way.
dolemitesooner
12/5/2006, 03:37 PM
Nay, not "everyone." Only those few who actually show up and help set up - which urine boy happens to do sometimes. He'll ask "so what do you need me to do?" And I can only answer "I don't know, you better ask the nazi." Seriously, when it's time to go to work, you better get after it, or get the **** outta the woman's way.
I show up to help all the time
C&CDean
12/5/2006, 03:48 PM
I show up to help all the time

Sure. If by "show up to help" you mean "drag your drunken *** over about 10 minutes before kickoff."
85Sooner
12/5/2006, 04:02 PM
to give the appearance that you tried to do a little around the house before the wife got home?


i ALLOW 30-TO 1 HOUR.

Got that honey (wife may be perusing board)
dolemitesooner
12/5/2006, 04:18 PM
Sure. If by "show up to help" you mean "drag your drunken *** over about 10 minutes before kickoff."
Yes, yes ...I am indeed good at that:D
proud gonzo
12/5/2006, 07:15 PM
And what does a tailgate involve? That's right, food and drink. Who am I to tell her where the tables/chairs/food warmers/etc. go? Besides, she's the tailgate nazi. The switch flips the minute we pull up and there's work to do. It goes from "honey, can I fill up your coffee" to "would you quit drinking that beer and set up these damned tables?"

I saw you VACUUMING :eek:


bwahaha :D