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View Full Version : 'Brits are more civilised'


Okieflyer
12/4/2006, 01:26 PM
Birts are more civilised (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=420285&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490)

Anyone else thinks that Gwyneth Paltrow never spent time with "real" americans? I think she spent way too much time with rich spoiled people.
picasso
12/4/2006, 01:30 PM
they don't talk about money? maybe it's because the company she keeps will never had a need or want for it.

her hubby was born with a silver spewn up his arse.

;)
Mongo
12/4/2006, 01:34 PM
Nice rack!!! I guess that makes me uncivilised.
crawfish
12/4/2006, 01:36 PM
Yeah, but only because they use an "s" instead of a "z".
Viking Kitten
12/4/2006, 01:37 PM
We spent Thanksgiving with a British guy. We had to explain green bean casserole to him. What a twit.
crawfish
12/4/2006, 01:38 PM
We spent Thanksgiving with a British guy. We had to explain green bean casserole to him. What a twit.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sRBkgshj8Cw
Okieflyer
12/4/2006, 01:38 PM
Yeah, but only because they use an "s" instead of a "z".

:D I thought the same thing!
OUDoc
12/4/2006, 01:55 PM
Who is she again?
TUSooner
12/4/2006, 02:03 PM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sRBkgshj8Cw
"Ahh, he doesn't know when he's beaten! In fact, he doesn't know when he's ahead. He has no sensory apparatus known to man!"

Good stuff. :D
Ike
12/4/2006, 02:28 PM
The civility of British society is plainly evident at their soccer (I mean, "football") matches.

these people are obviously more civilized and intelligent than us.
WILBURJIM
12/4/2006, 02:50 PM
It appears the English soccer fan on the far left has cut off another man's
penis and is holding it aloft in celebration. Very civilized.:eek: ;)

http://img364.imageshack.us/img364/894/hooligan1dg2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
OklahomaTuba
12/4/2006, 03:00 PM
This, from the twit that named her kid "apple".
Jerk
12/4/2006, 03:41 PM
Capitalism is bad....mmmmmmk?
frankensooner
12/4/2006, 04:06 PM
She should meet Voldemort and those pesky deatheaters, that would change her opinion of those brits!
picasso
12/4/2006, 05:12 PM
Capitalism is bad....mmmmmmk?
heh.

her and her hubby's career depend on it.
Okieflyer
12/4/2006, 07:27 PM
She thinks of Madonna as her mother? Well I guess that's possible.;)
Gandalf_The_Grey
12/4/2006, 07:50 PM
This comes from the dumb bitch whose both parents were actors and actresses and Stephen Spielberg is her Godfather. And then she has the audacity to say something along the lines of "I just had a gut feeling I was going to be an actress" No **** bitch, this is like a Kennedy saying they might have a shot to be a politician!
Okieflyer
12/4/2006, 08:06 PM
That's why your a 4 star (****) dude Gandalf! ;)
usmc-sooner
12/4/2006, 08:14 PM
she says they don't talk about work and money at dinner, when is the last time she had dinner.

also the only thing more interesting than money is sex is that what the Brits talk about during dinner?
Okieflyer
12/4/2006, 08:19 PM
Dinner? That's the noon day meal for people that actually work.


Not that I'm one of those. ;)
Gandalf_The_Grey
12/4/2006, 09:15 PM
This isn't about Gwyneth but she is from the same mold ;)

I hate Cameron Diaz.
Just when you thought MTV couldn't get more annoying, they give Cameron Diaz her own show called "Trippin':"

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/trippin_logo.gif Note that the name of the show is "Trippin'" and not "Tripping" because the addition of the letter "g" would not be consistent with the views of MTV's urban youth demographic who tend to frown upon linguistic formalities such as proper enunciation. I mean, proper 'nunciation, yo!
Each episode starts out with me imagining how awesome it would be to punch Cameron Diaz in the face. Nothing too showy, just a quick crack to the jaw to make a believer out of her. I suspect she has a glass jaw like most of the children I fight. Man, just thinking about landing a left hook is giving me a boner. Back to the show though. The theme song states "YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE... YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A CHANGE." Wow, thank you MTV, for making me feel empowered and independent, like only a multinational media conglomerate can. Then just when you think you're going to have high blood pressure (permanently), Diaz chimes in with her first person narrative to seal the deal:


I wanted to show everyone how beautiful this planet is and how we're all connected to it... I wanted to travel with my friends to places that are in danger of being ruined... I hate Cameron Diaz. I remember hearing about how she broke her nose while surfing two years ago. That was the happiest day of my life.
I don't know her, yet I know enough miscellaneous bull**** about her to fill a book. For example, why do I know that Cameron Diaz is dating Justin Timberlake? I don't watch much TV, I rarely listen to the radio, and I avoid celebrity gossip like rape, yet I know the names of the last two guys she humped with that canyonesque twat of hers.
Then as if Cameron Diaz wasn't annoying enough, she brought her "friends" along. In particular, notable environmental activists such as Eva Mendez, rapper "Redman," Drew Barrymore, Jessica Alba, and Blink 182 bass player Mark Hoppus, seen here with a ****-eating grin:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/hoppus.gif At one point in the show they go to a village made of **** (literally, cow ****) and Diaz calls it "beautiful" and "inspiring." Yeah, just not beautiful and inspiring enough to give up any of the three mansions you own, right you disingenuous bitch?
Every time she opens her gaping mouth, she spews more self-righteous bull**** all over the place. One of my favorite lines is when she says "it's kind of gotten out of hand how much of a convenience we think we need." Diaz, who makes around $20 million per picture and drives a Lexus, was able to say this with a straight face. What the hell is that supposed to mean, "convenience we think we need"? We don't need it *******, we want it. I like being able to get hot water, hot food, and hot porn whenever I want. Just as soon as you give up your mansion and live in a **** hut with your multi-millionaire boyfriend, we might give a **** about your criticism of the modern conveniences.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/redman3.gif When Diaz isn't giggling like an idiot or imparting us with dubious knowledge, Eva Mendez takes the opportunity to fire off her **** cannon:


Village Girl: Hi, my name is Krishna
Eva Mendez: How old are you?
Village Girl: 15.
Eva Mendez: 15? Wow!
Wow indeed, Eva. Way to patronize people in their own country, you stupid cow. Not to be outdone, Drew Barrymore has this to say in another episode: "it was so intense with the loving, feeling, and the tree touching, and the learning." Idiot.
Then as if the crew felt that they weren't being condescending enough, they keep saying "I can't believe how far away we are, we're in the middle of nowhere." Yeah, I'm sure citizens of Bhutan and Honduras appreciate being told that they live "nowhere."
Of course, having a show in which the hosts prattle on and on about conservation and environmental causes, it makes you wonder how they're able to do it without sounding like giant hypocrites as they fly around on helicopters and jets, all while using enough electricity to power a small city. Simply put: they can't, but that doesn't stop them from trying.
The way they try to avoid this nagging ideological contradiction is by stating: "Trippin' has offset all the pollution created from energy use in making the show, to ensure that it would not contribute to global warming." They supposedly do this by buying "clean air credits." Great idea *******s, so instead of owning up to your ****ty ideals and not polluting, you pay someone else not to pollute. Maybe we should all try to pay someone off every time we want to do something that might inconvenience us. I was going to go on a diet, but it's too hard, so I'm going to pay someone else to diet for me. I was going to do a show about community service, but doing the actual work was too inconvenient, so I'm going to pay someone to do it for me. Eat **** you elitist morons.
2,249,376 gullible idiots think Drew Barrymore gives a **** about environmental causes.
Viking Kitten
12/4/2006, 10:28 PM
2,249,376 Internet dorks are p***ed off at the world because neither Gwyneth Paltrow nor Cameron Diaz would **** them with Paris Hilton's *****.
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:31 PM
Thank goodness. I wouldn't want to use Paris Hilton's ***** to trap roaches. Roaches deserve better than that.
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:33 PM
Although I would bang Cameron Diaz and/or Gwyneth Paltrow faster than you could say "that's hot."
Czar Soonerov
12/4/2006, 10:34 PM
I think "where roaches check in but they don't check out" should be Paris Hilton's personal pet slogan for her *****.
Mongo
12/4/2006, 10:35 PM
Although I would bang Cameron Diaz and/or Gwyneth Paltrow faster than you could say "that's hot."

With those two, you would only last as long as they could say "That's Hot":D
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:36 PM
Au Contraire.
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:39 PM
My problem is pretty much the opposite of that. And yes, that can be a problem
OUDoc
12/4/2006, 10:42 PM
My problem is pretty much the opposite of that. And yes, that can be a problem
Flaccidity? ;)
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:43 PM
Not quite that bad. More like "takes a lot of work to finishy." Applicants need not apply.
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:44 PM
Welcome to 40, they say.
Mongo
12/4/2006, 10:47 PM
Wow, i have divulged some info in the SO before, but permanent whiskey dick would not be one of them.
Viking Kitten
12/4/2006, 10:48 PM
And they say Brits are more civilised. Pshaw.
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:50 PM
Wow, i have divulged some info in the SO before, but permanent whiskey dick would not be one of them.
What are you talking about? Whiskey is about the only thing that gives me half a chance of having a quick trigger.
Mongo
12/4/2006, 10:52 PM
And they say Brits are more civilised. Pshaw.

I know, see, we arent talking about money.

Hell, this was another standard dinner conversation in the Mongo household
BigRedJed
12/4/2006, 10:55 PM
Mongo, give yourself another 8,000 posts and you'll be desperate to post about something you haven't already posted about, just to stave off the boredom. You'll be posting about your underwear brand, what you had for lunch, what kind of shoes you're wearing, what songs you're listening to...
Mongo
12/4/2006, 11:01 PM
Mongo, give yourself another 8,000 posts and you'll be desperate to post about something you haven't already posted about, just to stave off the boredom. You'll be posting about your underwear brand, what you had for lunch, what kind of shoes you're wearing, what songs you're listening to...

I sniff glue, FOTL boxer briefs, subway ****-on-a-hoagie, size 16 New Balance, TOOL- the Pot, I suffer from 3 pump chumpitis...
Okieflyer
12/4/2006, 11:01 PM
You guys have brought thoughts to my mind that never were intended to be there. :(
crawfish
12/4/2006, 11:06 PM
Benny Hill was the height of British culture.

I'm just sayin'...
Okieflyer
12/5/2006, 10:46 AM
I guess we now have a retraction.
"I'm Proud To Be An American" (http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1565719,00.html)