If there was ONE rule for a long term guest in a house

[sanantoniosooner]

What do you think it would be?

I'm thinking something like "Minimize the inconvenience to the host family"

or "Be as considerate as possible"

[Getem]

My experience is: free rides don't come around often. Make the most of them.

[Frozen Sooner]

Well, that second one is pretty much the one rule to live your entire life by. In fact, I think quite a few religious leaders from the Buddha to the Christ have said something about that. :D

[opksooner]

"Don't wear out your welcome."


.....someone had to say it.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Do not drink the last beer, or you die.

[Frozen Sooner]

"Take no more than you give. Give twice as much as you take."

[BajaOklahoma]

Years ago, we ended up staying with my parents for two weeks as our new house wasn't completed on time. Money was tight for us as both my husband and I were recent grads. We also had two large dogs. I still tell my parents how much I appreciated their help - and that was several decades ago.
We pooper-scooped daily. We kept out stuff in our room. We worked around their mroning bathroom schedule (one bathroom house) and did laundry as often as possibly. We paid for the groceries and took them out to eat.
I think the the old "do unto others" sums it up pretty well.

[sanantoniosooner]

It's a nice young man, but he just doesn't realize how annoying he can be.

I've had to ask him to stop saying the lines to movies with the character on the screen. Not one line, but line after line. There have been a few other little annoyances, but that sucker got up this morning at 5 AM and took a 25 minute shower. The upstairs bathroom is over the master bathroom and you can't hear the person showering, but you can hear the water in the pipes.

When I try to take a long shower it doesn't get over 10-12 minutes. Time for a talk when he gets home from work.

[JohnnyMack]

Don't pee on the carpet.

[tbl]

I'm in the midst of a 5 week extended stay in DFW so we can see our family for the year. My wife, 3 year old daughter, and 3 month old son are all with me, so the one thing we do to help is get the crying contained upstairs. That pretty much pays the rent...

[soonerbrat]

be gracious and say "thank you" as they cook for you and clean up after you

[BajaOklahoma]

tbl, that is a very long time. I suggest that you find a hotel and stay there for a couple of nights somewhere during that time. Get one with an indoor pool for the daughter to play in for a change of pace.
Your family probably won't admit it right away, but it will be appreciated. Everyone will get the chance to recharge and relax away from each other.

[birddog]

flush twice.

[OUinFLA]

start taking Beano

[Mongo]

Tolerate the cameras in the bathroom and guest bedroom?

[bigdsooner]

my oldest brother and my best friends b-i-l both stayed with me for several months each. i had to give both of them a list of chores, which i had to constantly remind them of. regardless, i had to remind them that hey MO**ER FU**ERS...my family lives here...we have rules and chores and so do you. after a bit they decided that i was a d1ck and they needed to move out. good luck sas

[tbl]

tbl, that is a very long time. I suggest that you find a hotel and stay there for a couple of nights somewhere during that time. Get one with an indoor pool for the daughter to play in for a change of pace.
Your family probably won't admit it right away, but it will be appreciated. Everyone will get the chance to recharge and relax away from each other.
Oh we're spreading the love. It's driving us insane too. I have a bunch of family and friends here, so we're spending time away throughout the week to give them a break. The only thing is my grandmother absolutely loves spending time with my daughter, and she would actually prefer us to stay here the entire time. She got married around 8 years ago after being single since 1977, so she's pretty tired of my step-grandfather. Frankly, I don't think she can stand him at all. She's told us time and time again that she just loves us being here b/c she gets so tired of being here with him all the time. :P

We've gone to Oklahoma and spent an extended weekend, and the wife is taking the kids and spending an entire week there before Christmas. We're heading out from here the week before Christmas and staying with her Mother in LA on the way back to GA.

Living the life of a gypsy is not for me. This is the first time we've been away this long, and it's definitely the last. I have to have my fortress of solitude.

[BoogercountySooner]

My mother has lived with me and my family for about a year now. She want's to be involved in my personal conversation's with my wife and my kid's. I have to remind her that these are conversation's that are between myself and my wife or kids and to mind her own business from time to time. Privacy can suck when you have a longterm house guest. My moto is to be honest and upfront and tell folk's the way it is.

[Okieflyer]

Act like you actually like "Survivor".

[Tailwind]

Get the hell out as soon as possible.

[BeetDigger]

Be sure to say "Please" in front of "Can you fetch me another beer".

[sanantoniosooner]

OK........the guest has a deadline.

Out by March 31.

He and his fiancee(she is staying with some other friends) don't appear to be bright enough to take advantage of the opportunity they have.

6 months of free living prior to getting married. And all the life experience you could ask for from 2-near 20 year marriages.

They wont take any advice. They show horrible immaturity in decision making. The idiots were trying to purchase a house, while not married yet, with only qualifying him on a Walmart salary of a <6 months job.

We told them they'd be better off solving all of their debt issues and renting for 6 months to a year after getting married but NOOOOOOO. They wont hear none of that.

Now the house deal has fell through, like we told them it would, and they have to come up with plan B, like we told them they would.

I swear, if I had any of the help that I've given to other idiots it's amazing how different things could have been.

[soonerhubs]

Kids these days. :)

I guess some things have to be learned the hard way.
Tell me he's as least frequently saying "Thanks" for all you've done for him for putting him up for 6 months.

[OU4LIFE]

I would think the #1 rule is "Don't be a long term guest, get out as quick as you can".

[King Crimson]

find some other gig before they start looking at you like furniture.

[royalfan5]

I'd just casually start cleaning my guns all the time, and start joking about how you are prone to accidentally injuring other people. That or nail gun hijinks.

[sooneron]

Act like you actually like "Idol".
Fixed

[sanantoniosooner]

Kids these days. :)

I guess some things have to be learned the hard way.
Tell me he's as least frequently saying "Thanks" for all you've done for him for putting him up for 6 months.
Nope.

My rule would have been

Walk the line of giving the host family some space while figuring out how to contribute to the family and be a positive.

He's not doing either.

[usmc-sooner]

if there was no rule against it I'd try to bang your wife.

[Boarder]

They wont hear none of that.


So, they will hear all of it?

[soonerboomer93]

if there was no rule against it I'd try to bang your wife.

he's not getting any from her, so someone should


:D

[the_ouskull]

If it's that big of a problem, kick them out. Don't go starting internet threads about it. While you're on here whining, you could be helping them pack. I'm sure that they'd do the same for you.

the_ouskull

[SoonerTerry]

All was ok untill they tried to take over my den.... bad things man,,, bad things

[SoonerTerry]

And stay the F@@K off my F***ing computer... when you get a job, a house and the interweb you can infest your own computer with every ****ing computer virus known to man... until then STAY THA F@CK OFF MINE!!!

[sanantoniosooner]

If it's that big of a problem, kick them out. Don't go starting internet threads about it. While you're on here whining, you could be helping them pack. I'm sure that they'd do the same for you.

the_ouskull
Thank you for your assistance.

[C&CDean]

I learned my lesson long ago about "long term" guests.

A buddy from the Army moved in with me right after we got out in 1977. He was supposed to be spending his days looking for a job, then an apartment, etc. I'd come home in the afternoon and he'd be sitting there all stoned going "I put in 3 applications today, I'm waiting to hear back." Pretty soon, he was out of money, and he began drinking all my booze, smoking all my weed, and stealing money. He even took soda bottles off the back patio up to the 7-11 for money (who remembers when you got $$ for soda bottles?).

So, I came home one day and just said "get the **** out. I've opened my house to you, you've taken advantage of me, you've ripped me off, now go before I bash your face in." He went, and I've never heard from him again.

Friends and family. Just like fish. After about 3 days, they start to stink...

[Hamhock]

didja tell him to go sleep in the car you bought him?

[sanantoniosooner]

Let me recount a few of the ways they've been stupid.

His dad has had a car in Austin that is his if he can only get the paperwork in order. Haven't taken care of it since before Thanksgiving.

He applied to a Walmart across town. Funny thing is that the bus stop he has to walk to is located next to the Walmart near our house.

25 minute showers and has likes to wash dishes like some kids brush their teeth.....with the water running constantly.

On a day off chooses to sleep all day and start washing clothes about the time we start getting home from work.

Borrows our kitchen to cook his Puerto Rican dishes, which stinks up the house and leaves grease everywhere.

Had to be told to clean said grease and wash dishes after himself. He and his fiancee will wash ONLY the dishes they dirtied, even if there is only a cup or two extra.

Likes to beat-box and make odd noises. Smooches said fiancee in a way that sounds like a toilet plunger on a slab of bacon.

Signed up for Blockbuster internet rentals using OUR address and now we cant sign up ourselves because there is already an account at that address.

Helps himself to food my wife has already made plans to take to work for lunch.

No longer, but did use our food products and replace with inferior substitutes.

When I came home with my truck overheating, he just briefly looked out to see what was up, without offering assistance and didn't even bother to pick up my nice jacket that I had to throw on the ground away from the truck to keep it from getting messed up.

There's more but I'll save it for a sequel.

BTW, a lot of this stuff has been discussed and many things change after discussing it. It's just a shame that someone struggles with common sense so much.

Our deal was 6 months. We'll honor that commitment because we said we would. After that he may be on a park bench.

[jk the sooner fan]

he's puerto rican?

[MamaMia]

I had a long term guest once. She broke up with her romantic interest and moved into our home until she could find a house to buy. My friend Nancy and I have been best buddies since the 7th grade even though we are total opposites in every way. It broke my heart that she was all sad so I did everything in my power to cheer her up and surround her with love and happiness.

Well, she came home from work one day in a real bad mood. On her way to the guest room, and before I could even say a word, she yelled at me. She said, "No, I don't want a cocktail. No, I don't want to listen to any of your old records. No, I don't want a fancy hot meal or one of your Martha Stewart desserts, and no I don't want to try one of your lavender bath oils, and yes your new flower arrangement is f'in lovely!!! I love you, but just leave me alone" :(

We are still the best of friends and I love her dearly. Actually, there are 4 of us who are still best friends after all these years and the 3 of them still laugh about me driving Nancy crazy. :O

[jk the sooner fan]

i think you were way too generous with your "march 31st" deadline....

[sanantoniosooner]

he's puerto rican?
him and his fiancee both.

Both US born.

And the food they like to fix doesn't fly in my neon white household.

[C&CDean]

I think we need to hear more. Like why in the hell are they staying with you in the first place? Where'd they come from? Etc.

[C&CDean]

i think you were way too generous with your "march 31st" deadline....

Why? Just cause he's PR? You ain't one of them racist characters are you?

[sanantoniosooner]

i think you were way too generous with your "march 31st" deadline....
Well, the female is a friend of the wife, staying with another family, and the male is her fiance staying with us.

I've been more tolerant because I let her make the decision originally and she regrets it a lot. I'm trying to make it work for her sake and I wont be the issue of there is a blow up prior to that date.

I would also like that bedroom back for relatives that visit.

[jk the sooner fan]

Why? Just cause he's PR? You ain't one of them racist characters are you?

yeah you know me

no, the guy has been freeloading for some time.....giving him a month and a half is just going to let him freeload that much longer

[sanantoniosooner]

I think we need to hear more. Like why in the hell are they staying with you in the first place? Where'd they come from? Etc.
The girl is about 24 and attended church with us. She shared an apartment with a friend and the friend left. She couldn't afford the apartment by herself.

Her fiance was living with his mom, and his mom took all his money that he made at his job. They were planning on getting married within the year and she was going to move in with another couple from the church for 6 months to get here finances in order and get ready for the marriage.

My wife thought if the young man was able to stay in a similar situation that they would be able to make progress on their finances better. He moved in with the same deadline she has at the other house. It's been a pain for the other family to deal with, but not as bad as us. They spend more time over here and feel more comfortable at our house.

He was going to some program that teaches you about buying a house and helps you get into your first house. We told them that there was no way they could make a home purchase in the time available with the resources they had and they pressed on anyway.

They just need to get married at the Justice of the Peace, get an apartment and screw up their own lives. They wont listen to anyone else anyway. They are some good kids, they just have to learn things the hard way. Sucks to be stupid.

[C&CDean]

The girl is about 24 and attended church with us. She shared an apartment with a friend and the friend left. She couldn't afford the apartment by herself.

Her fiance was living with his mom, and his mom took all his money that he made at his job. They were planning on getting married within the year and she was going to move in with another couple from the church for 6 months to get here finances in order and get ready for the marriage.

My wife thought if the young man was able to stay in a similar situation that they would be able to make progress on their finances better. He moved in with the same deadline she has at the other house. It's been a pain for the other family to deal with, but not as bad as us. They spend more time over here and feel more comfortable at our house.

He was going to some program that teaches you about buying a house and helps you get into your first house. We told them that there was no way they could make a home purchase in the time available with the resources they had and they pressed on anyway.

They just need to get married at the Justice of the Peace, get an apartment and screw up their own lives. They wont listen to anyone else anyway. They are some good kids, they just have to learn things the hard way. Sucks to be stupid.

This could be Exhibit C of why I don't attend church. Good luck.

[sanantoniosooner]

This could be Exhibit C of why I don't attend church. Good luck.
you don't think Puerto Ricans should attend church?

[C&CDean]

you don't think Puerto Ricans should attend church?

No. Anybody who wants to attend church should attend church. My point is this: I don't need a bunch of freeloading losers moving in with me. Freeloaders up at the church house are thick. And if you're at the church, you're expected to be kind and help these freeloaders out. Or you get dogpiled with the "WWJD?" I don't mind helping people out, but on my terms.

[sanantoniosooner]

No. Anybody who wants to attend church should attend church. My point is this: I don't need a bunch of freeloading losers moving in with me. Freeloaders up at the church house are thick. And if you're at the church, you're expected to be kind and help these freeloaders out. Or you get dogpiled with the "WWJD?" I don't mind helping people out, but on my terms.
nobody pressured us.

It was a measured risk we were willing to take based on a personal relationship with that person. The "church" factor has little to do with this situation other than it's where we know each other from. This situation has nothing to do the the crap that happens at churches and everything to do with someone that gives someone an opportunity for a leg up and that person lacking enough common sense to take advantage in a positive way.

[C&CDean]

nobody pressured us.

It was a measured risk we were willing to take based on a personal relationship with that person. The "church" factor has little to do with this situation other than it's where we know each other from. This situation has nothing to do the the crap that happens at churches and everything to do with someone that gives someone an opportunity for a leg up and that person lacking enough common sense to take advantage in a positive way.

Well then, like I said, good luck.

[the_ouskull]

Some people only learn by doing. You did. You learned. Now it's THEIR turn to learn. Boot 'em. ASAFP. Don't worry about what Jesus would do, 'cause Jesus isn't the one that's putting up with idiots under their roof. YOU are. The fact that you let him stay one night is something for which he should be thankful. Is he going to suddenly turn ungrateful for everything else if you don't "honor your deadline?" If so, then why is he under your roof in the first place?

I would let any single friend that I have live with me for as long as they possibly needed to. I can say this with no equivocation because I know that all of my friends would 1) never ask unless they absolutely had NO place else to go, and 2) would never stay any longer than was absolutely necessary. One month is enough time to get hired somewhere, get a paycheck, and move out. Two if you're kind enough to allow it so that he can save some money for deposits and the like.

I'm not.

Friendship and Freeloading aren't the same thing. Recognize. You'd be a lot better off looking for the bad in this guy under your roof taking advantage of you and your wife than you are looking for malice in my original post... or this one. I'm not pulling a you, driving by slinging advice from my high horse... I'm just telling it like it is. Take it or keep your roommate. Whatever.

the_ouskull

[sanantoniosooner]

Again I thank you for your advice skull.

I don't have to look for malice. You ooze with it.

Thanks.

[TUSooner]

My rule:
"Make sure it's somebody else's house."

[jacru]

rule #1 - Don't have long term guests in house.
rule #2 - When considering long term guests, see rule #1.

that is all.

[sanantoniosooner]

Well, I've allowed three different people to stay in my home for extended times and my only regret is that this one hasn't taken advantage of it.

Everybody is made different and it's part of my make up. I don't even mind the inconvenience if the individual puts in the effort to make it work and accomplish something positive.

[sanantoniosooner]

Issue # 257:

The amount of time he's on Myspace.

I'm not much of a genius when it comes to computer savvy, but I know enough to pull his password out of the browser and check where he's been hanging out.

Dude is engaged, and is doing a people search for women 18-30 years old that are available. And other various sites I'd rather he didn't visit on my computer.

I'm pretty sure we wont make it to the end of this month, much less the next.

BTW.....I'm sure some wont like my "invasion of privacy". GADOCADWI. In my house there is nothing out of bounds for me.

[tbl]

You have kids at the house too, right?

Seriously holmes... you gotta boot this guy.

[olevetonahill]

Again I thank you for your advice skull.

I don't have to look for malice. You ooze with it.

Thanks.
So your Not wanting advice , Your just venting ?
Cause Id done have kicked the loser to the Fin curb .

[sanantoniosooner]

So your Not wanting advice , Your just venting ?
Cause Id done have kicked the loser to the Fin curb .
There's some history between skull and myself that you are unaware of.

Advice is welcome. Even his. It's just crappy to use advice as an opportunity to slip some slams in.

Last time I gave that stuff the kind of response it deserved it didn't go so well for me though.

[the_ouskull]

No, SAS. Malice would be telling you that you're a dipsh*t for getting yourself into this situation and an even bigger one for not being able to get yourself out of it. The fact that you're throwing it all over this board makes it even more ridiculous.

That's malice.

Good thing I didn't say it.

Jerk.

the_ouskull

[sanantoniosooner]

skull, for all your accusations, you are the only one that's been hostile between the two of us for quite some time.

[usmc-sooner]

No, SAS. Malice would be telling you that you're a dipsh*t for getting yourself into this situation and an even bigger one for not being able to get yourself out of it. The fact that you're throwing it all over this board makes it even more ridiculous.

That's malice.

Good thing I didn't say it.

Jerk.

the_ouskull

exactly

[Frozen Sooner]

Issue # 257:

The amount of time he's on Myspace.

I'm not much of a genius when it comes to computer savvy, but I know enough to pull his password out of the browser and check where he's been hanging out.

Dude is engaged, and is doing a people search for women 18-30 years old that are available. And other various sites I'd rather he didn't visit on my computer.

I'm pretty sure we wont make it to the end of this month, much less the next.

BTW.....I'm sure some wont like my "invasion of privacy". GADOCADWI. In my house there is nothing out of bounds for me.

Hey, I'm all for privacy rights, but someone using your computer in your house doesn't exactly have an expectation of privacy. F him.

There's a joke about Puerto Ricans and spray paint on your monitor in here somewhere, but I'm not feeling racist enough to make it tonight.

Enough's enough, man. I commend you for trying to do right by your fellow man, but at this point you're just building him a fire every night.

As they say, build a man a fire and he's warm tonight. Set him on fire, that sumbitch is warm for the rest of his life. Or something like that. Kick him out.

[usmc-sooner]

SAS

Do you talk like you do in your spek, comment to me at your church. I don't consider myself a part of the ******* club, I just aint going to open my house to a bum and sure aint going to subject my family to this bs. A man has to protect his house and family from this, and not whine around about it on some message board. Reach down and see if you got a pair and do what a man is supposed to do. Or just send me more spek on the net. At least you signed which is better than I usually get.

[sanantoniosooner]

SAS

Do you talk like you do in your spek, comment to me at your church. I don't consider myself a part of the ******* club, I just aint going to open my house to a bum and sure aint going to subject my family to this bs. A man has to protect his house and family from this, and not whine around about it on some message board. Reach down and see if you got a pair and do what a man is supposed to do. Or just send me more spek on the net. At least you signed which is better than I usually get.
You know........some people are smart enough to know when they are getting in the middle of a dispute that goes beyond the current topic.

Some people aren't.

Quote me exactly if you are looking to make a board issue out of it.

[sanantoniosooner]

As a general comment to people who struggle with reading.

I haven't whined about the situation. I've described it and listened to peoples opinions about it.

Even the ones that feel the need to bash me in making their point.

[usmc-sooner]

You know........some people are smart enough to know when they are getting in the middle of a dispute that goes beyond the current topic.

Some people aren't.

Quote me exactly if you are looking to make a board issue out of it.


I aint trying to make an issue out of it, I thought it was funny and hypocritical you go on about how your doing this because of church but you get common sense advice and you want to call me an *******. Fine I got thick skin, I get it from time to time. Most don't sign it, I appreciate that you did.

Look you come on here whining about your wife doesn't want to have sex with you, you've let some one come in and make you uncomfortable in your own home. You've let some stranger come between you and your families happieness. The problem aint other people it's you. Only you can make your situation better, you can't point fingers and blame other people when your not going to stand up and take charge of your own life. You want to stay miserable then keep whining on the message boards, You want to make things better start acting like the head of the household and do what you must.

I hope things get better for you, but you got to man up and help yourself. I aint going to join your pity party.

[sanantoniosooner]

thanks man.

You're all heart.

[usmc-sooner]

As a general comment to people who struggle with reading.

I haven't whined about the situation. I've described it and listened to peoples opinions about it.

Even the ones that feel the need to bash me in making their point.

As someone who struggles with reading, it's a wonder I haven't moved some Puerto Ricans from the church into my house. I'm so dumb.

[soonerhubs]

Not to go off the subject, but SAS, what's the story behind that Avatar? Is that the picture of your house guest?

[sanantoniosooner]

Nacho Libre

[soonerhubs]

Nacho Libre
Never rented it. Shows my ignorance. We've been watching Boston Legal on DVD, The Shield, and Desparate House Wives.

No time for movies I guess.

Good luck SAS. I'm off to hang with the MRS. Have a great Saturday and God Bless!

[achiro]

and took a 25 minute shower.
I can't believe nobody jumped on this. There's only one reason a guy would be in the shower that long.:eek:

[crawfish]

I can't believe nobody jumped on this. There's only one reason a guy would be in the shower that long.:eek:

Manscaping? :confused:

[C&CDean]

Never rented it. Shows my ignorance. We've been watching Boston Legal on DVD, The Shield, and Desparate House Wives.

No time for movies I guess.

Good luck SAS. I'm off to hang with the MRS. Have a great Saturday and God Bless!

No, not renting that POS shows your intelligence. However, watching those other POS shows does dumb you down some.

[Hamhock]

I can't believe nobody jumped on this. There's only one reason a guy would be in the shower that long.:eek:


:mack: You told me you were combing your hair!!!