Things you want to say, but don't

[BeetDigger]

So, I'm in Wal-Mart tonight (buying a jacket for my dad) and I get in line to check out. The couple in front of me have a ton of stuff.

I then notice the woman. Huge fake jumblies, tight t-shirt. She's setting gallons of water on the checkout line. After she set the fifth gallon on the belt, I was ready to say "nice jugs." It was with every bit of restraint I must say. Of course, the guy she was with may have not approved (pretty big dude too). But he seemed like the guy who would appreciate me notcing.

And before you ask: no, and yes she was. (pics and hawt).

:hot:

[VeeJay]

Bonus points for admitting you consider a Wal-Mart shopper as "hawt."

[sanantoniosooner]

I called a dude a drama queen at a restaurant the other day. He wasn't too happy about it either.

I kind of got tired of hearing him complain about the temperature of his food so loud that everyone in the place had to put up with him.

[VeeJay]

Years ago, I was outside an Outback Steakhouse in Stuart, FL with my then-girlfriend. The entire environment was dominated by a loud Italian guy on the cellphone in the parking lot, all animated with his arms flailing in the air while he shouted into the cell phone. (My gf identified him as Italian - and believe me, she would know).

I wanted to tell the goombah to STFU, but I also was hungry, and wanted to spend the next hour eating and not in the emergency room.

[SCOUT]

This is more a thing someone said and shouldn't have.

My brother-in-law and I (along with our respective spouses, but they are not involved in the story at this point) went to a very popular frozen custard stand. He and I are waiting in line when a yellow Ferrari and a yellow Lamborghini drive to the front and proceed to back in to the two handicapped spots out front.

He and I are discussing how sad it is that there are really people like that but there really isn't that big of a deal. One short, well built Italian guy gets out of each car and a 6 foot blond accompanies one of them. They get in line but are very loud and remind me a great deal of Christopher Moltisanti from the Sopranos.

As my Brother-in-law and I are leaving the stand he remarks to them that "we are not impressed." They look at us but nothing really happens. We go back to his truck and we all proceed to enjoy our frozen custard (I should also mention that my 4 year old is with us too).

The two mob wannabes get their food and start heading to their car as the police show up. You see, my wife decided to call the cops on these two fellows for parking in a handicapped spot. In principle I agree with her but in reality, this was not a good situation. The police give them a warning and go on their way.

Since my genius brother-in-law thought it was a good idea to mouth off to these guys, they assumed we were the ones calling the cops. I do recognize the irony by the way.

They moved their cars to please the cops and parked right next to us. They get out, start asking if we "got a problem." My brother-in-law is more valiant than me and starts to say yes when one of them hooks his hand into his jacket to reveal his gun.

I interjected that we had no problem and just wanted to enjoy our frozen treat with my FOUR YEAR OLD!

I wish my brother-in-law was telling this story as a thing he wanted to say, but didn't.

[VeeJay]

That's what I tried to avoid at the Outback with the goombah.

[BeetDigger]

Bonus points for admitting you consider a Wal-Mart shopper as "hawt."


She really was hawt, in a way that when you arrive with her at a party, everyone wonders how much you spent for the evening. Hey, I didnt say that you were going to take her home to mom. Hawt in a porn starish way. I mean, the jumblies were quite stunning. "Nice jugs." Heh.

[Jimminy Crimson]

My brother-in-law and I (along with our respective spouses, but they are not involved in the story at this point) went to a very popular frozen custard stand.

http://www.wildaboutharrys.com/images/p-store.jpg

Mmmm! :D

[MamaMia]

So, I'm in Wal-Mart tonight (buying a jacket for my dad) and I get in line to check out. The couple in front of me have a ton of stuff.

I then notice the woman. Huge fake jumblies, tight t-shirt. She's setting gallons of water on the checkout line. After she set the fifth gallon on the belt, I was ready to say "nice jugs." It was with every bit of restraint I must say. Of course, the guy she was with may have not approved (pretty big dude too). But he seemed like the guy who would appreciate me notcing.

And before you ask: no, and yes she was. (pics and hawt).

:hot:I would have wanted to say that you don't have to show all your jugs. You just tell the checker how many you have. Since I happen to be Italian, I decided to keep quiet as not to give my people a worse reputation that we already have.

[TUSooner]

I was gonna say something, but I can't come close to the Wal*Mart jugs or the mafia guys. So n/m. :)

[VeeJay]

Mom - nuttin' against Italians, capeche?

I just dat I don't go messin' wid dem.

My MIL is Italian. The only reason I used "goombah" is because the guy who plays Bobby on "The Sporanos" wrote a book called "The Goombah's Cookbook" or some such. Seriously, I'd never heard the term "goombah" before. No offense!

[sanantoniosooner]

Mom - nuttin' against Italians, capeche?

I just dat I don't go messin' wid dem.

My MIL is Italian. The only reason I used "goombah" is because the guy who plays Bobby on "The Sporanos" wrote a book called "The Goombah's Cookbook" or some such. Seriously, I'd never heard the term "goombah" before. No offense!
There is a Goombahs Pizza down here. It can't be too offensive if they named a pizza joint that.

[proud gonzo]

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/images/goomba.gif

[VeeJay]

So..."goombah" can be used here without offense to anyone?

It has a nice ring to it, yet doesn't sound very complimentary to any nationality.

I would order a pizza from a joint called "Goombah's." As long as da red sauce is - ya know - tomato based.

[Rim shot]

[proud gonzo]

I've been wanting to say "stfu n00b" and "stfu troll" a lot recently, but i have restrained myself

I've also wanted to sign neg with other people's names but haven't.

and i wanted to make a very bad joke in orchestra today, but i just stifled my laughter.

[VeeJay]

'tis exhilarating to watch one come out of their shell.

[proud gonzo]

nm...

add this post to the list :D

[Frozen Sooner]

Some of the things I used to have to keep myself from saying at work were pretty rough. I've made it a habit around here to reread most of what I type when I'm annoyed and try to think about what it'll sound like later-you wouldn't believe some of the stuff that doesn't make it past the filter.

[GrapevineSooner]

Female Caller: I'm calling to get my account unlocked.

Me: No problem

Female Problem: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWN

Me: Was that a yawn?

Female Caller: Yeah, I was up all night.

And at that point, I restrained myself from inquiring into the cause of her lack of sleep. ;)