PSA: Dear Turkey Fryers

[Okla-homey]

As a fellow turkey fryer, I feel obligated to share the following 15 Rules.

Homey's FIFTEEN Turkey Frying Rulez

1. Make sure you have enough propane to get-r-done. If you run out, odds are the store where you buy refills will be closed... because its Thanksgiving dumarse! Also, if, in spite of this warning, you run out of propane, it's a bad idea to try to "finish her up" on top of the kitchen stove or the charcoal grill. See rule #10 below.

2. For planning purposes, put about the same amount of water in your frying vessel as the amount of oil you plan to use. Then put in your turkey to check on the final level. If the water level, with the turkey in the water, is within three inches of the top of the pot, back off on the amount of water until you get there. Oncet you have that right, take out the turkey, and scratch a mark at the waterline on the inside of the pot so you'll know how much oil to use. It's best to do this the day before if possible. See next rule.

3. Make sure the turkey is completely thawed and dry when you drop it...otherwise water/ice + boiling oil = ASSPLOSION! Pat it down good with plenty of paper towels or clean t-shirts, etc. before dropping it

4. Wear non-porous gloves when dropping the turkey in the oil and later on taking it out.

5. A word about "dropping" the turkey. Do not literally do so. Do it slow, wearing the gloves, and under no circumstances, allow your gloved hand to touch the boiling oil.

6. DO NOT FRY YOUR TURKEY WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCES. And no, "Wild Turkey" is not a good accompaniment with "frying a turkey."

7. Mind your temperature. CONSTANTLY. Do not let your oil evar get above 375F. After dropping the bird, try to maintain 325F. If you don't have a proper frying thermometer for monitoring the oil temp, you have no business trying to fry a turkey. Note the time when you drop the turkey. Fry for Eight (8) minutes per pound. If you have to go take a leak, drop a deuce, or intercept a phone call from your girlfriend before your wife anwers the phone, make sure some SOBER adult-type person can watch the fryer for you.

8. Wear shoes. And long pants. And a shirt. The thing spatters something fierce. Remind yourself of that time you fried bacon in a skillet on the stove while just wearing your WWE or Dale Jr. boxer shorts. OUCH!

9. Do not let kids around the fryer unless CLOSELY supervised by a SOBER you. They will be curious. They may even be tempted to toss in a dog turd or something to see what happens. Do not let kids play or engage in horseplay/tomfoolery near the fryer contraption. Ditto your dogs.

10. Do not fry your turkey in the house, mobile home or your attached garage. Every year hillbillies burn their flippin' houses/trailers down -- mainly because they violate this rule combined with violations of rules #3 and 6 (above)

11. Do not allow drunk cousin Cleetus or your best bud Billy Wayne to try and "painch theyself a taste" while the turkey is immersed in the hot oil. They will experience great pain, quickly withdraw their finger, knife, stick (or whatever,) possibly turning over the fryer and causing the same result as at rule #3.

12. Fire extinguishers are your friend. Big 'uns. Class A,B,C.

13. It's NOT a good idea to use the same oil you fried fish in last August to fry your turkey

14. If any of the above rules are violated and there is a resultant catastrophic assplosion or fire, you cannot extinguish several gallons of flaming oil with your hosepipe hooked up to the outside spigot. You will only make it worse. Nor can you extinguish the flames by pulling down the drapes in front of the "pitcher winnder" in the front room and tossing them on top to "smother it." Get everyone out, and away, and call 911. Then, crack open a cold one and watch the fun as the fire department tries to save what's left of your place.

15. Finally, after frying the turkey, don't forget to turn off the propane. Also, wait for the oil to cool before trying to pour it into gallon milk jugs for use next year.

[fadada1]

too much work. i'll let mom cook it in the oven.

[LilSooner]

I will be frying the christmas turkey out round the cement pond this year. So I can kick that bitch in if assplodes. :D

[StoopTroup]

Good Points Homey.

It's not as much work if you have a cooler of beer to sit on while your cooking Fadada...

Also if you have a TV in your workshop / frying area...

It can be a great place to get away from the honey-do list. :D

[StoopTroup]

I will be frying the christmas turkey out round the cement pond this year. So I can kick that bitch in if assplodes. :D

Grease fire + water.....

That might be a point Homey missed...

I better recheck the list...lol

[slickdawg]

I engineered a great solution for dropping the bird.

I took an old shower curtain rod, and put the turkey on one end, me on the other, and lower it that way. No burns, no splashes.

[Okla-homey]

I engineered a great solution for dropping the bird.

I took an old shower curtain rod, and put the turkey on one end, me on the other, and lower it that way. No burns, no splashes.

That's hillbilly genius!:D

[BeetDigger]

Keeping a large fire extinguisher nearby is probably an smart thing to do. And by large, I mean genormous. A couple of gallons of burning peanut oil may take a bit to put out. Keep the water hose wound up and next to the house. It'll only serve to splatter the fire around.

[whatsername]

As a fellow turkey fryer, I feel obligated to share the following 15 Rules.

15. Finally, after frying the turkey, don't forget to turn off the propane. Also, wait for the oil to cool before trying to pour it into gallon milk jugs for use next year.
Seriously? You can save this oil for a year and use it again?

We're frying our turkey this year. What should I inject it with? Or should I bother injecting it with anything?

[fadada1]

What should I inject it with? Or should I bother injecting it with anything?
i think you can get arrested for that - see thread about the guy with the deer.

[King Crimson]

only a real ****ing hillbilly has "an old shower rod"...

[Okla-homey]

Seriously? You can save this oil for a year and use it again?

You can. I have. It won't go bad if kept in a cool dry place in an airtight container.

We're frying our turkey this year. What should I inject it with? Or should I bother injecting it with anything?

There are various commercial concoctions for injecting available at Wally-World and other retailers.

[MamaMia]

Thanks for the tips. My son is bringing his fryer. I was told to get the oil. I did so. Atwood's had the 35 pound box of Peanut/Soy oil that it says is especially for turkey frying. I hope that will be okay. I'll call today to see what kind of propane tank I should get.

[reevie]

Seriously? You can save this oil for a year and use it again?

We're frying our turkey this year. What should I inject it with? Or should I bother injecting it with anything?


Just filter the oil when you're removing it from the pot.

And while you've got all that hot oil, cook some other things. Slice up some potatos for french fries. Last year I dropped a couple of chickens in there to eat after the turkey was gone.

[mrowl]

Also, wait for the oil to cool before trying to pour it into gallon milk jugs for use next year.

this would be a HUGE pain in the ***. out.

[Okla-homey]

this would be a HUGE pain in the ***. out.

a funnel helps.

[whatsername]

i think you can get arrested for that - see thread about the guy with the deer.

Only if I get caught. :D

[whatsername]

You can. I have. It won't go bad if kept in a cool dry place in an airtight container.


Cool, that should save some money. That peanut oil is kinda expensive! How many times do you use it before you toss it?

[OUAndy1807]

here's a PSA for turkey fryers: buy a smoker.

[OUAndy1807]

Cool, that should save some money. That peanut oil is kinda expensive! How many times do you use it before you toss it?
2

[soonernation]

Note the time when you drop the turkey. Fry for Eight (8) minutes per pound.

homey,
I have fried several Turkeys and have never fried this long. I usually fry for about 4 minutes per pound. This has always produced a very good turkey.

[Okla-homey]

Cool, that should save some money. That peanut oil is kinda expensive! How many times do you use it before you toss it?

Like someone said above, just make sure no chunks get in the oil you save. Frankly, I guess you could use it virtually indefinitely. Just make sure it doesn't stink or something when you get ready to use it again. Also, you can save money by adding fresh to the stored oil because as you can imagine, some oil is consumed in the frying.

Finally, and FWIW, I worked at McDonalds for a couple years in HS. We never threw out that french fry grease. We just strained out the chunks, and ocassionally added new oil. I guess that's how I learned the stuff doesn't ordinarily "go bad."

[Okla-homey]

homey,
I have fried several Turkeys and have never fried this long. I usually fry for about 4 minutes per pound. This has always produced a very good turkey.

I'm sure that's possible. Question though, do you maintain 325F or fry hotter? That would make a difference on cooking time.

[mrowl]

Cool, that should save some money. That peanut oil is kinda expensive! How many times do you use it before you toss it?

peanut oil can be used about 4 times. Then it goes bad.

[soonernation]

I'm sure that's possible. Question though, do you maintain 325F or fry hotter? That would make a difference on cooking time.

I fry at about 350.

[Okla-homey]

I fry at about 350.

Perhaps that's the difference. Anyway, I use 8 minutes per pound at 325F as a guide. I can usually tell when its done. It could be less than that. That said, I put it in at 375F to allow for the inevitable drop in temp. Mine usually will drop below 325F at that point and it takes a while to bring it back up. That's why, for me, 8 minutes a pound from the time its dropped is a good average.

[SoonerJack]

On the Food Network (my second fave channel), Alton Brown did an episode on frying turkeys. It was awesome.

Instead of using an old shower rod, he constructed a "turkey derrick" with which he lowered the bird into the oil. It was constructed using an 8 ft stepladder, a carabiner, a pulley, some sash cord, and a window cleat. Pretty cool contraption. Oh, and Homey, your list of rules is pretty similar to Alton's.

The coolest part, well, second coolest part, was a demonstration of what happens if you do not fully dry/thaw your bird. The firemans did a great job of extinguishing the ensuing conflagration.

[GottaHavePride]

On the Food Network (my second fave channel), Alton Brown did an episode on frying turkeys. It was awesome.

Instead of using an old shower rod, he constructed a "turkey derrick" with which he lowered the bird into the oil. It was constructed using an 8 ft stepladder, a carabiner, a pulley, some sash cord, and a window cleat. Pretty cool contraption. Oh, and Homey, your list of rules is pretty similar to Alton's.

The coolest part, well, second coolest part, was a demonstration of what happens if you do not fully dry/thaw your bird. The firemans did a great job of extinguishing the ensuing conflagration.
That was impressive. Good show - a must watch for wannabe turkey-fryers.

[Cam]

That was impressive. Good show - a must watch for wannabe turkey-fryers.
We watched that as well and it was pretty cool.

[whatsername]

It's going to be on again tomorrow afternoon. I've set my DVR.

[proud gonzo]

That was impressive. Good show - a must watch for wannabe turkey-fryers.
ALTON BROWN EPISODE:

part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E270Qx5OpxU

part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLNLYL24qUA (this one has the fire demo, about halfway through the clip)

part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9mq29BaLLk

[sanantoniosooner]

Bought a turkey fryer at Costco today.

Looking forward to breaking it in.

[Newbomb Turk]

I've had the darn things fried and smoked. They are good both ways.

Call me old-fashioned, but on Thanksgiving day, the only way to make them is in the oven. You get the smell of the thing baking, with the stuffing inside. Turkey goodness.

[MichelleDawn]

I love fried turkey !! But, I'm so not ready to make my own....But I'll save this thread for a another day. Thanks !!

[proud gonzo]

I've had the darn things fried and smoked. They are good both ways.

Call me old-fashioned, but on Thanksgiving day, the only way to make them is in the oven. You get the smell of the thing baking, with the stuffing inside. Turkey goodness.maybe i'm just odd, but i've never cared about turkey. Not a huge fan of it (i'd just as soon have chicken) and it's not that important to me on Thanksgiving. to me, Thanksgiving is about the side dishes. And pie. :D

[Newbomb Turk]

maybe i'm just odd, but i've never cared about turkey. Not a huge fan of it (i'd just as soon have chicken) and it's not that important to me on Thanksgiving. to me, Thanksgiving is about the side dishes. And pie. :D

you are odd. ;)

and I agree about the pie thing. And I'm talking about pumpkin pie. It's as important as the turkey.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I agree with PG on this one. . .except for the pie part.

[Newbomb Turk]

Well, Thanksgiving is really about being thankful, and being around family if you can...but this IS a turkey thread.

[sanantoniosooner]

Dear Turkey Fryers.

Eat some pie.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Oh I meant to add that I love fried turkey. It's about the only meat with skin on it that I like.

[Newbomb Turk]

Oh I meant to add that I love fried turkey. It's about the only meat with skin on it that I like.


Hold back Turk.

do

not

comment.

;)

[sanantoniosooner]

Hold back Turk.

do

not

comment.

;)
I just cringed and moved on.

[Newbomb Turk]

I just cringed and moved on.

:D

[proud gonzo]

you are odd. ;)

and I agree about the pie thing. And I'm talking about pumpkin pie. It's as important as the turkey. I think it's more important.

My mom's mom used to make 2 pumpkin pies, 3 pecan pies, an apple pie, a cherry pie, a german chocolate cake, an angelfood cake, and fruit fruit salad every Thanksgiving. (in addition to everything else)

[sanantoniosooner]

homey,
I have fried several Turkeys and have never fried this long. I usually fry for about 4 minutes per pound. This has always produced a very good turkey.
I'm reviewing this thread since this will be my first turkey fry.

Everything I've found online says between 3-4 minutes per lb depending on the size.

[Okla-homey]

I'm reviewing this thread since this will be my first turkey fry.

Everything I've found online says between 3-4 minutes per lb depending on the size.

Please, after further review, I believe that if you maintain 350F, 4 minutes per pound should do it. Especially if you let it rest 30 minutes after taking it out and let "carryover" finish it.

Have fun, and be safe.

[sanantoniosooner]

Hey man, I wouldn't be reviewing the thread if I didn't respect your opinion.

I did a creole butter injection last night and we'll fry that dude in a couple of hours. I guess I need to fire up the oil in about an hour.

[reevie]

I'd lean closer to 4 than 3 minutes per pound. I didnt' get a bird completely cooked on the 3 minute approach one time.

[Okla-homey]

I'd lean closer to 4 than 3 minutes per pound. I didnt' get a bird completely cooked on the 3 minute approach one time.

And undercooked poultry can lead to some bathroom agony.

[reevie]

And undercooked poultry can lead to some bathroom agony.


It was fine. There was just a spot deep in the meat that we cut around and didn't eat. It was still excellent, just had to throw away some meat.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Some chick at the liquor store said she injected hers with champagne. Interesting. . .

[sanantoniosooner]

Ours came out real good. I might even cut the cook time back to about 3.5 minutes per lb.

I may post a picture in the turkey thread later.

[Okla-homey]

OUrs was succulent turkey goodness.

Four years in a row beyonces.

I am the fried turkey Gawd.