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BoogercountySooner
11/15/2006, 11:15 AM
I got this in an E-Mail!

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00).


He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin. It's mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???


Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40 second fuse, just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog slows for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.


Then " "" "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" "" ! ! ! !


The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots s tanding there with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

The dog is okay....doing fine.

And you thought all Rednecks lived in the South.........


:D :D :D




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Netscape. Just the Net You Need.

Boarder
11/15/2006, 11:16 AM
Dang, that's $500 less than a Yukon!

SoonerInKCMO
11/15/2006, 11:28 AM
I want to know where that dude got his financing; must've gotten a damn good rate to only be paying $560.

Osce0la
11/15/2006, 11:54 AM
:les: DARWIN!!!

;)

Frozen Sooner
11/15/2006, 12:30 PM
I got this in an E-Mail!

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00).


He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin. It's mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???


Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40 second fuse, just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog slows for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.


Then " "" "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOOM "" "" "" "" "" ! ! ! !


The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots s tanding there with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

The dog is okay....doing fine.

And you thought all Rednecks lived in the South.........


:D :D :D




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Netscape. Just the Net You Need.

Believe it or not, this actually happened a few years ago. I was at a conference and was told the story by a guy at the credit union who financed the rig. Not sure that the dollar amounts jibe with what he told me or even if he told me the rates, but the gist of the story is accurate.

yermom
11/15/2006, 12:46 PM
I want to know where that dude got his financing; must've gotten a damn good rate to only be paying $560.

i'm guessing it would have to be a lease

that's awesome that the dog lived though :D

OCUDad
11/15/2006, 12:56 PM
Seeing as how I first heard that story 10 years ago (truck, not a Navigator), I have to believe it's less than factual.

EDIT: http://www.snopes.com/critters/cruelty/dynamite.asp

BoogercountySooner
11/15/2006, 01:34 PM
Seeing as how I first heard that story 10 years ago (truck, not a Navigator), I have to believe it's less than factual.

EDIT: http://www.snopes.com/critters/cruelty/dynamite.asp
Oh well got it in an E-Mail still funny though!

Preservation Parcels
11/15/2006, 11:45 PM
In the version I heard, it was a truck, and they were going ice fishing on Lake Michigan. They drove a couple of miles out onto the ice, but they were too lazy to drill a hole with an auger. As the dog came closer and closer with the retrieved stick of dynamite, they decided to shoot the dog rather than risk the dog obediently returning the "stick." When the dog sensed it was in danger, it dove for cover under the truck. Kaboom! Kersplash! I like your version better in that the dog survives.

When I grew up in Michigan, Dad shovelled the snow off the river so that we could ice skate. First, though, there had to be snowmobile tracks that went all the way across the river. If the tracks ended mid-river and there was a chunky patch in the ice, it meant that there was yet another sunken Ski-Do at the bottom of the Cass River.

Ike
11/16/2006, 12:26 AM
In the version I heard, it was a truck, and they were going ice fishing on Lake Michigan. They drove a couple of miles out onto the ice, but they were too lazy to drill a hole with an auger. As the dog came closer and closer with the retrieved stick of dynamite, they decided to shoot the dog rather than risk the dog obediently returning the "stick." When the dog sensed it was in danger, it dove for cover under the truck. Kaboom! Kersplash! I like your version better in that the dog survives.


that was the version I heard too...many many moons ago

mdklatt
11/16/2006, 12:38 AM
In the version I heard, it was a truck, and they were going ice fishing on Lake Michigan.

Is that even possible?

Ike
11/16/2006, 12:40 AM
Is that even possible?

I imagine so. Even in chicago, the shallower parts of lake michigan are all frozed up in january and february. I imagine further north the ice is pretty solid.

mdklatt
11/16/2006, 12:42 AM
I imagine so. Even in chicago, the shallower parts of lake michigan are all frozed up in january and february. I imagine further north the ice is pretty solid.

Well I'll be. I knew Erie could ice over, but LM is a lot deeper.

StoopTroup
11/16/2006, 12:45 AM
I heard the story 20 years ago and it was a jeep.

soonerjoker
11/16/2006, 10:03 AM
maybe he had a large down payment.

sanantoniosooner
11/16/2006, 10:06 AM
My great grandpa told that story 85 years ago and it was a covered wagon.

LoyalFan
11/16/2006, 10:22 AM
I got this in an E-Mail!


He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin.




One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.



The dog is okay....doing fine.

And you thought all Rednecks lived in the South.........


:D :D :D




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Netscape. Just the Net You Need.

He and a friend go duck hunting...

...One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab...

...The dog is okay....doing fine...

:D :D :D [Quote]

Problem A. Nobody hunts ducks with #8 shot. That's tiny, and is reserved for dove, quail, sometimes Sporting Clay, Trap, or Skeet.

The dog, coming head-on, would likely have been permanently blinded by the shot charge.

Conclusion: Let's pray that this is all total BS, OK?

LoyalFan

IB4OU2
11/16/2006, 10:29 AM
He and a friend go duck hunting...

...One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab...

...The dog is okay....doing fine...

:D :D :D [quote]

Problem A. Nobody hunts ducks with #8 shot. That's tiny, and is reserved for dove, quail, sometimes Sporting Clay, Trap, or Skeet.

The dog, coming head-on, would likely have been permanently blinded by the shot charge.

Conclusion: Let's pray that this is all total BS, OK?

LoyalFan

Yep, everybody knows #4 or #6 shot is used for duck hunting and this was a pretty funny joke.