I just thought I disliked weddings before...

[proud gonzo]

but i'm disliking them even more as a bridesmaid. I've spent 200 damn dollars so far on this damn wedding. $140 PINK dress that I'll never wear again, $15 to have it steamed, $30 for a fugly pair of shoes that look tacky, dont' fit right, and I will likewise never wear again. Do I have to buy them a damn wedding present? :mad:

[GrapevineSooner]

If you're in the wedding party, I don't think so.

I was one of the Best Men in my brother's wedding in 1998 and I didn't buy him a damn thing.

[TexasSooner01]

Heh...at least your dress is pink and not forrest green! :D

Which I paid 150 dollars for three years ago and its been in my closet ever since. :mad:

[Vaevictis]

You could always get even by seducing the groom.

[C&CDean]

Just remember this when you decide to hitch up yourself. Take your man, and go somewhere and get married on the cheap. Have a cheapass party. Everyone will thank you.

[BeetDigger]

but i'm disliking them even more as a bridesmaid. I've spent 200 damn dollars so far on this damn wedding. $140 PINK dress that I'll never wear again, $15 to have it steamed, $30 for a fugly pair of shoes that look tacky, dont' fit right, and I will likewise never wear again. Do I have to buy them a damn wedding present? :mad:



We are good for answers on a number of topics, but wedding etiquette is not one of them. We have to draw the line somewhere.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Just remember this when you decide to hitch up yourself. Take your man, and go somewhere and get married on the cheap. Have a cheapass party. Everyone will thank you.

Especially your husband-to-be...

Ugh.

Amy's girlfriends told her to just let them know when "the wedding" became "the f*#%ing wedding" and they would take us out for some drinks.

I'm there.

Actually, it has had fun moments. Like cake tasting... mmmmmmm... cake!

But now we're assembling "the final list". And my family is being a major pain-in-the-buuuutocks. And my hand is sore from all the envelope addressing for our "Save the date" announcements.

And I

have

had

enough.

Vegas baby, Vegas.

But enough of my whining. Answering the topic at hand. Yes, you are supposed to get the couple a present. Worse, you are supposed to get the bride a present at her shower. However, the bride is also supposed to give you and every member of the bridal party a present.

My advice: Buy the presents, but don't feel obligated to meet some sort of spending limit. Small, heartfelt gifts to the bride, to whom you are presumably close, are perfectly acceptable and should be graciously accepted.

...God knows I've watched enough episodes of "Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway?" to know the answer to that...

[SoonerInKCMO]

but i'm disliking them even more as a bridesmaid. I've spent 200 damn dollars so far on this damn wedding. $140 PINK dress that I'll never wear again, $15 to have it steamed, $30 for a fugly pair of shoes that look tacky, dont' fit right, and I will likewise never wear again. Do I have to buy them a damn wedding present? :mad:


You're going to post pictures of you in the dress, right?!?! :crossfingers:

:D

[PhxSooner]

I once spent $150 on a red crepe dress, $45 for shoes, and gifts at three bridal showers. Jiminy Christmas, that was ridiculous.

Yes, PG, you're on the hook for at least one, maybe two gifts. And the shower gift will probably be a joint thing with other bridesmaids, so you'll have to kick in cash. You'll never wear the dress again, even though the bride will say she picked it out for just that reason. Your dyed shoes will bleed, and you won't get much food because you're being such a social and pleasant member of the wedding party. Have a good time!:D :D

[LilSooner]

This is why I'm letting my bridesmaids pick their dresses. I really don't care too much about what they are wearing, and I sure as heck don't want it to be expensive.

[Vaevictis]

I'm telling you, seduce the groom. Right now.

All your problems with this wedding will go away.

[C&CDean]

This is why I'm letting my bridesmaids pick their dresses. I really don't care too much about what they are wearing, and I sure as heck don't want it to be expensive.

I'm calling b.s. here. If you didn't care, etc. then you two little lovedogs would just fire up some bbq at mom's place out in B-town, have a local preacher man come over and tie the knot, and invite a couple dozen of your best friends over. Cost you maybe $500-$600 or so. About the price of a SF.com tailgate. Wait, that's it. You two get hitched at a tailgate. How not groovy would that not be?

[SanDiegoSoonerGal]

This is why I'm letting my bridesmaids pick their dresses. I really don't care too much about what they are wearing, and I sure as heck don't want it to be expensive.

I tried that too. My bridesmaids refused. Go figure.

[BeetDigger]

This is why I'm letting my bridesmaids pick their dresses. I really don't care too much about what they are wearing, and I sure as heck don't want it to be expensive.


Just wait till one shows up in a mini-skirt with crotchless panties.

[C&CDean]

Just wait till one shows up in a mini-skirt with crotchless panties.

Bad form.

[BajaOklahoma]

The wedding two weeks ago was a classic black and white wedding. The bridesmaids had black strapeless dresses with white piping. Some potential future use as black is a great neutral. The Maid of Honor was of a very large size and had difficulty fitting in anything. As it was, too much chest was exposed.
We are going to a wedding in the Chapel at Silver Dollar City on Saturday. Should be interesting.

BTW, I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and shoes. FWIW.

[mrowl]

how do couples get away with making the bridesmaids or groomsmen pay for their own outfits?

And Dean is right. The best decision we made was to tell everyone the location and date of the wedding, if you wanna come, great, there will be a kick *** party.

[LoyalFan]

Look, you all! Let's boil this thread down to the basics.

WE WANT PICS OF PG IN THE PINK DRESS! Or, better yet, standing next to it in her skivvies! Or, EVEN better yet...never mind.

LF

[LilSooner]

I'm calling b.s. here. If you didn't care, etc. then you two little lovedogs would just fire up some bbq at mom's place out in B-town, have a local preacher man come over and tie the knot, and invite a couple dozen of your best friends over. Cost you maybe $500-$600 or so. About the price of a SF.com tailgate. Wait, that's it. You two get hitched at a tailgate. How not groovy would that not be?

Um yeah, I am my mother's one and only child. If she wants to throw away her money on one day, Rhino and I don't care. All we care about is getting married and spending our lives together. We could go to the justice of the peace and that would be cool to me.

I just want a party for our friends and family.

And no we will not get hitched at a tailgate.

[LilSooner]

Oh and were paying for our bridesmaids dress, shoes, etc. Also the dude that is doing all of our hair and make up does the hair and make up of Jennifer Berry aka Miss America.

So yeah, I'm gonna look like Miss America when I get married so suck it! :)

[BeetDigger]

Bad form.


What, providing an over the top example of what can go wrong by letting someone else make a decision that affects you?

[SoonerInKCMO]

Look, you all! Let's boil this thread down to the basics.

WE WANT PICS OF PG IN THE PINK DRESS! Or, better yet, standing next to it in her skivvies! Or, EVEN better yet...never mind.

LF


Just for the record so PG knows - this is not AT ALL where I was going with my request to see pics of her in the dress.

I just thought she'd look funny in it. :)

[LoyalFan]

Just for the record so PG knows - this is not AT ALL where I was going with my request to see pics of her in the dress.

I just thought she'd look funny in it. :)

Hey, in dress or out, PG is always a vision of loveliness!
Got that, pilgrim???

LF

[LilSooner]

What, providing an over the top example of what can go wrong by letting someone else make a decision that effects you?


That is if you have complete skanks for friends. Which I do not. I asked people to be apart of my wedding that care about me and have been my friends from childhood. Not random people that I met off the street.

So your over the top example was stupid.

[OCUDad]

If you have the wedding at a nude beach, all those silly bridesmaid-dress, groomsman-tux problems go away. And considering the large number of nude beaches in your area, I would imagine it would not be difficult to find one available on the day of your nuptials.

[LilSooner]

If you have the wedding at a nude beach, all those silly bridesmaid-dress, groomsman-tux problems go away. And considering the large number of nude beaches in your area, I would imagine it would not be difficult to find one available on the day of your nuptials.

There are nude beaches in Blanchard, Oklahoma?????

[proud gonzo]

Phx: I don't even know who the other bridesmaids are. I've never met them, never talked to them, don't know their names. So I doubt it's a joint thing. And I WISH we had dyed shoes--these are from shoe carnival and they're gold.

For the love of God, I'm not going to seduce the groom. I'm incredibly happy with Iggy, I don't find the groom attractive, AND he doesn't even speak English very well.

mrowl--they do it by asking you if you want to be a bridesmaid first and THEN tell you that you have to pay for your own dress. :mad:

Whenever the hell I get married I'm either letting them have dresses they'll wear again or I'm buying them myself.


I just thought she'd look funny in it. don't make me hurt you :mad: The dress looks good on me. Pink is one of my best colors, I just happen to hate it.

[BeetDigger]

That is if you have complete skanks for friends. Which I do not. I asked people to be apart of my wedding that care about me and have been my friends from childhood. Not random people that I met off the street.

So your over the top example was stupid.


Point=======================> missed


I have no idea what your friends are like and I am not implying that someone would do this. The point is, what is cute/beautiful/georgous/stylish/wonderful to one person may be ugly/awful/tacky/skankish to another person.

[sooneron]

Yes, you should buy them a gift.

My wife had been in enough weddings and was smart enough to have the bridesmaids in nice black dresses that they could wear again...

http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/3517/faythandthegirlsft8.jpg

[PhxSooner]

Phx: I don't even know who the other bridesmaids are. I've never met them, never talked to them, don't know their names. So I doubt it's a joint thing. And I WISH we had dyed shoes--these are from shoe carnival and they're gold.

Gold? How? Why?:confused:

Just buy towels. They look all impressive in the box, and they're not that expensive compared to other stuff.;)

My bridesmaids wore midnight blue, but it was the mid-90's and I take no responsibility for the styles of that era.

[LilSooner]

Point=======================> missed


I have no idea what your friends are like and I am not implying that someone would do this. The point is, what is cute/beautiful/georgous/stylish/wonderful to one person may be ugly/awful/tacky/skankish to another person.


Point is not missed. I could seriously care less if the girls wore stripper shoes and a thong. The day is NOT about them or what they are wearing the day is about the bride and groom.

I think you missed my point about not giving two ****s as to what they wear because it's not about them.

30 years from now nobody is going to remember anything about the damn day with the exception of the bride and groom.

[olevetonahill]

just olevets O here :P
' THEY " ask you to be a bridesmade , right ?
I always thot that the Brides family paid for the shebang ,
So to me what you are saying is they are marrying on the cheap ?
So be cheap and tell em to stuff their own present ;) Not really, But you get my point ?
Hell if it was up to me id call in sick and say **** that **** :cool:

[sooneron]

Point is not missed. I could seriously care less if the girls wore stripper shoes and a thong. The day is NOT about them or what they are wearing the day is about the bride and groom.

I think you missed my point about not giving two ****s as to what they wear because it's not about them.

30 years from now nobody is going to remember anything about the damn day with the exception of the bride and groom.
Actually, they'll remember very little too. Well, if they have top shelf open bar like we did!:texan:

[olevetonahill]

Point is not missed. I could seriously care less if the girls wore stripper shoes and a thong. The day is NOT about them or what they are wearing the day is about the bride and groom.

I think you missed my point about not giving two ****s as to what they wear because it's not about them.

30 years from now nobody is going to remember anything about the damn day with the exception of the bride and groom.
let me live 30 more years , AND have pics of the bridesmaids in crotchless panties :D :D :D :D
course 30 yrs from now I wont remember what Im lookin at but I will have a good time looking ;)

[LilSooner]

Actually, they'll remember very little too. Well, if they have top shelf open bar like we did!:texan:


We will be there right there with ya. Full open bar on a sunday afternoon = good methodist time.:D

[BeetDigger]

Point is not missed. I could seriously care less if the girls wore stripper shoes and a thong. The day is NOT about them or what they are wearing the day is about the bride and groom.

I think you missed my point about not giving two ****s as to what they wear because it's not about them.

30 years from now nobody is going to remember anything about the damn day with the exception of the bride and groom.


Then if that is your attitude (which I don't disagree with, yes - it is your day so and you are the focus - I know, I did all this over 17 years ago), why the indignation over my comment? Let me tell you, the wedding is the EASY part. It's the first two to three years that are difficult. Once you're past 10, its all downhill.

[proud gonzo]

just olevets O here :P
' THEY " ask you to be a bridesmade , right ?
I always thot that the Brides family paid for the shebang ,
So to me what you are saying is they are marrying on the cheap ?
So be cheap and tell em to stuff their own present ;) Not really, But you get my point ?
Hell if it was up to me id call in sick and say **** that **** :cool:I'd already said I'd be a bridesmaid before i found out i'd be paying for the dress and shoes myself. I also didn't realize yet that her wedding was going to be the day after Thanksgiving.

The bride's family is a single mom and I think she's a teacher. The fiance is from Columbia.
At the wedding shower we were talking about how many people our age seem to be getting engaged all the sudden and I made a crack about money and said Iggy wouldn't even have enough money for a ring--why would we get married? And my friend said "yeah, well that didn't stop US."

[Frozen Sooner]

Why would someone from Missouri not speak English? ;)

Making you guys pay for the bridesmaid dresses is pretty cheap. Every wedding I've stood up for, the groom paid for the groomsmen's tuxes and I assumed the same arrangement was going on the other side of the aisle.

Since YOU'RE paying for the dress, I think you're discharged from obligation on a wedding present. You should, however, chip in on the shower gift.

[proud gonzo]

damn it. ColOmbia.

and WHAT SHOWER GIFT??!?!? I swear I'd chip in if there was such a thing...

and my mom agreed that i could get them a very small token gift, but other than that I'm not obligated to get them anything.

[OCUDad]

just olevets O here :P
' THEY " ask you to be a bridesmade , right ?
I always thot that the Brides family paid for the shebang ,
So to me what you are saying is they are marrying on the cheap ?
So be cheap and tell em to stuff their own present ;) Not really, But you get my point ?
Hell if it was up to me id call in sick and say **** that **** :cool:Dude, you would make one hell of a cute bridesmaid. Why has nobody asked you? :confused:

[proud gonzo]

Gold? How? Why?:confused:

i have no idea. I don't even think they look good with the dress. (It's a horrible picture of the dress--oh well. it actually does look sorta nice on)
http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5598/goldshoescr2.jpg

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7982/pinkdressfg1.jpg

[Frozen Sooner]

tsk.

Gold lame(tilde that I don't know how to make) is ALWAYS faboo.

[proud gonzo]

only on hugh jackman
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/08/14/BoyFromOz_wideweb__470x297,0.jpg

[olevetonahill]

Dude, you would make one hell of a cute bridesmaid. Why has nobody asked you? :confused:
beats me . With my Man bewbs and beer gut, Id be a hit ;)

[olevetonahill]

I'd already said I'd be a bridesmaid before i found out i'd be paying for the dress and shoes myself. I also didn't realize yet that her wedding was going to be the day after Thanksgiving.

The bride's family is a single mom and I think she's a teacher. The fiance is from Columbia.
At the wedding shower we were talking about how many people our age seem to be getting engaged all the sudden and I made a crack about money and said Iggy wouldn't even have enough money for a ring--why would we get married? And my friend said "yeah, well that didn't stop US."
Yea Id have a hard time with the single Mom stuff .
But the dude should have lots of drug money so he should pay !:eek:

[PhxSooner]

<sigh>Hugh Jackman...<shakes head>

Anyway, yeah, the shoes still look bad.

Every wedding I've been in, the groom's side paid for the tuxes. I've never seen the bride's side pick up the tab for the dresses. The only thing I can figure is that the guys are just renting, while the wimmins get to keep the aformentioned awful dress. My folks did pay for everyone's hotel room at the Doubletree, but I was in one where I flew in and paid for my own room.

PG, token gift = pink spatula.;)