A Princess Bride funny from TexasAgs

[start8]

http://mb33.scout.com/ftamufrm1.showMessage?topicID=14432.topic






Stoops: All right. Where is the line of scrimmage? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and our teams run a play, and we find out who is right... and who is dead.

Fran: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would defend against my 275 lb J-Train battering ram, or an option play? Now, a clever man would sell out to stop the J-Train, because he would know that only a great fool would avoid using a touchdown machine inside the five. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the J-Train. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the option play.

Stoops: You've made your decision then?

Fran: Not remotely. Because Sooners come from Oklahoma, as everyone knows, and Oklahoma is entirely peopled with land-thieves, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the J-Train.

Stoops: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Fran: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?

Stoops: Oklahoma.

Fran: Yes, Oklahoma. And you must have suspected I would have known your team's origin, so I can clearly not choose the option play.

Stoops: You're just stalling now.

Fran: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've defended my option attack well, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could prepare for that play, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the option. But, you've also bested my passing game, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that a touchdown wins the game, so you would do everything possible to stop a pass play, so I can clearly not choose to drop back and pass.

Stoops: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.

Fran: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHAT PLAY TO CALL!

[sanantoniosooner]

one of the funniest posts I've ever read.

[Widescreen]

That's allsome.

[RacerX]

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/rating/rating_5.gif

[setem]

BLAH!


I likes it

[XingTheRubicon]

BWAHAHAH



BWAHAHAHA



BWHAHAHA



BWAHA




HA




PLOMP

[sooner518]

hehe its funny because its true

[L.J.TX Sooner]

anybody want a peanut?

[OUDoc]

Inconceivable!

[snp]

I wish we could give that dude some spek. Funny post.

[Hatfield]

are there rocks ahead?

[Mac94]

Why can I just picture that kind of thing going through Fran's head? ;)

[budbarrybob]

are there rocks ahead?

if their are we'll all be dead :pop:

[Widescreen]

Reveille was only MOSTLY dead.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Inconceivable!


I do not think this word means what you think...

[sanantoniosooner]

I've been posting left handed.

[fadada1]

never get into a battle of wits with an aggie... or a land war in college station...

[fadada1]

anybody got a peanut???

[Rhino]

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Aggie when death is on the line."

HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA... (thud)

[Taxman71]

My name is Bob Stoops, you killed my 2002 national title hopes, prepare to die.

[MiccoMacey]

I do not think this word means what you think...

Irrelevant...it's a quote from the movie made by the guy he's making fun of.

[OUmillenium]

...as you wish

[Taxman71]

(Stoops talking to Fran)

There is a shortage of perfect man-breasts in college football, twould be a shame to ruin yours.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Irrelevant...it's a quote from the movie made by the guy he's making fun of.

It's possible, pig -- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all...

[sanantoniosooner]

it's possible, aggy-- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only pretending to go for it on fourth down because I want to draw you offsides -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.

[sanantoniosooner]

mine was better.

:D

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Irrelevant...

"You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means"

[douxpaysan]

it's possible, aggy-- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only pretending to go for it on fourth down because I want to draw you offsides -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.
and...http://youtube.com/watch?v=Kdu4ctT52o4

[SoonerObsession]

(After ATM gets 2nd field goal to make the score 17-16)

Stoops: “I admit it, you are better than I am!”
Francypants: “Then why are you smiling?”
Stoops: “Because I know something you don't know!”
Francypants: “And what is that?”
Stoops: “Paul Thompson is not left handed!”

[soonerboy_odanorth]

mine was better.

:D

I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either....

BOP!

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Stoops: "Get used to disappointment."

Fran: "Okay".

[XingTheRubicon]

This entire thread is GOLD Jerry, GOLD!

[bri]

I yearn for the day we get to laugh at programs other than our own...

Tee hee!

Conan would be proud of us: We've crushed our enemies, seen them driven before us...and now we're hearing the lamentations of the women. :D

[swardboy]

So glad we got through the forest of Unusually Large Collies....

[jwlynn64]

The greatest reply to that post on the Aggie board was from Spideydude:

"I yearn for the day we get to laugh at programs other than our own..."

That's greatness

[NormanPride]

Rufus to J-Train: Sleep well, my enormous friend. And dream of very large sheep.

[Crimson and Orange]

What about the R.O.U.S.s?

[umberto]

"Get out of here or all I'll call the brute squad."
"I'm on the brute squad."
"You are the brute squad!"

[NormanPride]

Rufus: We'll never succeed. We may as well lose here.

Stoops: No, no. We have already won. I mean, what are the three terrors of Kyle Field? One, McGee's run - no problem. There's a limited number of formations he can use; we can stop that. Two, Goodson's lightning speed, which Lendy was fast enough to stop before he scored, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Rufus: Westley, what about the J.O.U.S.'s?

Stoops: Javorskies Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

[SoonerBK]

Stoops: Give us the first down.

Fran: We have no first down.

Stoops: Paul, tear his arms off.

Fran: You mean this first down.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

Cadet: -- Wait -- what did Herbstreit mean, "He's dead?" I mean he didn't mean dead. Coach Fran's only faking, right?

Grandpa Aggie: You want me to read this or not?

Cadet: Who gets Stoops?

Grandpa Aggie: I don't understand.

Cadet: Who kills Coach Stoops? At the end, somebody's got to do it. Is it Kragthorpe? Who?

Grandpa Aggie: Nobody. Nobody kills him. He lives.

Cadet: You mean he wins? Jesus, Grandpa! What did you read me this thing for?

Grandpa Aggie: You know, you've been very sick and you're taking this Corp very seriously. I think we better stop now.

Cadet: No! I'm okay. I'm okay. -- sit down. All right?

Grandpa Aggie: Okay..... All right, now, let's see. Where were we?

Oh yes.

In the Pit of Despair.

[BOOMERBRADLEY]

I hope you guys like this cause it took me forever :D

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5479/andrethegiant6copydf2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[soonerboy_odanorth]

OMG...Friggin' hilarious...

Somebody post that back to TexAgs... I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it...

[soonerthanu]

Stoops isn’t the Spaniard he is the Dread Pirate Roberts
:mad:





:D

[sanantoniosooner]

Stoops isn’t the Spaniard he is the Dread Pirate Roberts
:mad:





:D
I didn't want to have to say it myself.

Thanks.

[sanantoniosooner]

it's possible, aggy-- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only pretending to go for it on fourth down because I want to draw you offsides -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.
If I could spek myself....I would.

[OUDoc]

If I could spek myself....I would.
Close the door first.

[sanantoniosooner]

Close the door first.
I'm going to the library to do it.

[OUDoc]

You should be safe there.

[melbitoast]

WELL DONE GENTLEMEN!!! I laughed my *** off all the way thru this thread. Absolutely classic!

[Big12 AJ]

The goal line is guarded by 11 men.

If only I had a J-Train.

[Crucifax Autumn]

That's the greatest post ever!

[OKMAGIC]

Excellent thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SoonerTerry]

it's possible, aggy-- I might be bluffing -- it's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only pretending to go for it on fourth down because I want to draw you offsides -- then again, perhaps I have the strength after all.


Found my sig, hope you dont mind:D

[proudsoonergal]

Fran: Are you toying with me?

Stoops: No! I want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to get fired unhappily.

[proudsoonergal]

Rufus: That McGee, he can *fuss*.

Birdine: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.

Rufus: Probably he means no *harm*.

Birdine : He's really very short on *charm*.

Rufus: You have a great gift for rhyme.

Birdine: Yes, yes, some of the time.

Fran: Enough of that.

Rufus: Hey Bird, are there sacks ahead?

Birdine: You bet there are, and his smack will be dead.

Fran: No more rhymes now, I mean it!!!!

Birdine: Anybody want a peanut?

Fran: DYEEAAHHHHHH!!!!

[proudsoonergal]

This is fun. :D

[sanantoniosooner]

Found my sig, hope you dont mind:D
Not at all.

[soonerboy_odanorth]

With the lame-*** hiring of Mike Sherman this just had to get some bumpage...

[GoTigers]

Pinkel: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
Daniel: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... what's my way?
Pinkel: Pick up one of those balls, get behind Adam Spieker, in a few seconds the Maclin in back will come running around the bend, a defensive back trailing him by ten yards. The minute his hands are in view, hit them with the ball.
Daniel: My way's not very sportsman-like.

[XingTheRubicon]

Pinkel: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
Daniel: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... what's my way?
Pinkel: Pick up one of those balls, get behind Adam Spieker, in a few seconds the Maclin in back will come running around the bend, a defensive back trailing him by ten yards. The minute his hands are in view, hit them with the ball.
Daniel: My way's not very sportsman-like.


You do know he misses him with the rock, don't you?

[Oldnslo]

Stoops: We are men of action. Lies do not become us.

Fran: :twinkies:

[GoTigers]

You do know he misses him with the rock, don't you?
On purpose. He didn't have to.

[goingoneight]

Modernized:


Stoops: Alright, kickoff's up soon, you ready?

Fran: We beat T.U. last year and stuff... so, I guess?

Stoops: Ri-hight... :rolleyes:

Fran: WTF, man? You remember how we almost beat y'all last year, right?

Stoops: How brilliant are you, bringing up what happened in College Station last year?

Fran: You just wait... we run an option reminiscent of Papa Switzer's running game that's gonna roll your defense.

Stoops: 77-0.

Fran: Dood, that was four years ago... you're bitchin' at me for bringing up last year!

Stoops: Just sayin'

Fran: You may have won the battle, but the war is far from over!!!!111!1

Stoops: **** off dip ****.

Fran: IT HAS WORKED! I got the best of you!!! Intimidation... CHECK!

Stoops: We have four BIG 12 Championships, you keep bringing up what woulda-coulda-shoulda in like... every game you lose. Call me crazy, but I'm not intimidated, nor impressed.

Fran: Motivation... CHECK!!! Now... about the gameplan...


:D

[Lott's Bandana]

Aggie fans: We have a terrible rush. (and pass, and defense)

Fran: Don't rush me, Mr. 12. You rush a miracle coach you get rotten coaching.

[Half a Hundred]

For you, my Tigger friend...

Stoops: HELLO! MY NAME IS BOB STOOPS! YOU TOOK MY RANKING! PREPARE TO DIE!

Pinkel: No...

Stoops: Offer me media love.

-Touchdown-

Pinkel: Yes...

Stoops: recruits too... promise me that...

-Yet another touchdown, on the other side of the field-

Pinkel: ... all that I have and more, please

Stoops: Offer me everything that I ask for...

Pinkel: anything that you want...

<beat>

Stoops: I WANT MY NUMBER ONE RANKING BACK, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

-Gun goes off to signal another Oklahoma victory-

[XingTheRubicon]

On purpose. He didn't have to.

Was that before or after he gets choked out?;)

[cheezyq]

On purpose. He didn't have to.

Right, cuz he was "giving the fight away". Next time he'll be ready...

:rolleyes:

[Chi Gamma Blackness]

I hope you guys like this cause it took me forever :D

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5479/andrethegiant6copydf2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


Hot-Sizzle!!!!! 9 kinds of awesome right there!

[85sooners]

lol