Stoops call-in show

[picasso]

can they have the first half hour the non-redneck call-in show half hour show?

that would help me a lot. I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

[picasso]

hey coach, this is Clem Jack from Cowsack Creek. how come y'all don't run the option down there now?
don't you got 4 or 5 runnin backs down there? and how come y'all don't let Paul run for a touchdown or two now and then?

thanks, bereeeaaaaaaarrrrr!

[goingoneight]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAIDERS!!!

[picasso]

Red from Buffalo Breath, hey coach, is there any way y'all can get yer brother to help coach the defense when his season is over this season? it seemed like we did a better job on defense when he was here yellin and a cussin at everyone. even old ladies in the crowd!

belch.

[picasso]

[Bob Barry] Ok, it's time for the Red Lobster popcorn shrimp call of the day! [BB/]

yeah, can y'all hear me? hey, how come Adrian can't play in just passin plays? he wouldn't havta run and he could be used as a decoy to hep fewel the other team.

I'll hang up and listen to yer belllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllch.

[picasso]

Herbert from Hobart, coach, I'm 107 years ollllld and just wanted to say, say, I wanted to tell coach Stoop that ummm, I wanted to say that you're ok in my book ummm, Coach, Stoop, hey Bob, I was in your Geography class at OU, not Bob coach but Bob Barry ummmm, I was the kid who threw spit wads at your ummm, hey, can you hear me there? I'm a first time caller.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh!!!!!

[goingoneight]

[aggy caller] We're gonna beat you so bad in our house, Bob Stoops. I hate OU, Bowman for Heisman!!! Hi, Mom!!! [aggy caller]

[calls back] Sorry fluffy, didn't mean to hurt your feelings... Orange Power!!! belllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllch!!!


pauses...


Stoops: Did you hear something? Hmmm. I'll be damned.

[picasso]

hey this is Snake from Oaks. is there any way we can try to score on the first play of the game? I think that would put the other team in a bind and just might help us win more games.

I was just thinkin.

awight, thanks.

[fart noise/]

[picasso]

[aggy caller] We're gonna beat you so bad in our house, Bob Stoops. I hate OU, Bowman for Heisman!!! Hi, Mom!!! [aggy caller]

[calls back] Sorry fluffy, didn't mean to hurt your feelings... Orange Power!!! belllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllch!!!


pauses...


Stoops: Did you hear something? Hmmm. I'll be damned.
no no, Bob has an Aggy button right next to his cough and fart button. the show is also on 5 second delay so they can eat shrimp when they get bored.

[picasso]

this thing on? hey this is Brian from Pryor Creek.
why do ya'll keep calling Peterson AD? his initials are AP. does he have a funky middle name or something?

thanks, I'll hang up and listen to yer answer.

[picasso]

coach this is Bill Tom Billy Joe Bob Jack Mike Jim Joe Bob from Perryton, Texas, I'm Mike McKinley's 3rd cousin. how come y'all don't run the fullback dive on first down like they did back when John Blake was coachin? especially inside the 10?

thanks.


moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

[picasso]

Clendon from Cow Teet Creek, how late is Red Lobster open up in there?

[SoonerJason]

god this is funny

[Jimminy Crimson]

Uh, yeah, coach, this is Matt from Hominy. Big Torrance Marshall fan here. Why've we strayed from the ninja offense? I'll take it off the air. Mkay.

Let-r-rip!

[picasso]

god this is funny
you must be drinking.;)

seriously though, it was nice to hear folks call in and tell coach to hang in there and that we still love him.


Norm from Norman. hey coach, remember me? I saw you at the stoplight on Alameda that one time and honked and waved at you? wanna hang out some time?

hello?

[OU James]

err, this is John T William Buggtussle from Gotebo, why in the hell are we not starting Brett Romar? kids got talents.

[picasso]

Uh, yeah, coach, this is Matt from Hominy. Big Torrance Marshall fan here. Why've we strayed from the ninja offense? I'll take it off the air. Mkay.

Let-r-rip!
dah certainly yeah ummm, thanks for the call there Matt uhhhh I think that's pronounced ninjer isn't there ah Bob? hahahaha.

[picasso]

dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah ummm this is Mike from Tuscon, dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[Jimminy Crimson]

dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah ummm this is Mike from Tuscon, dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

heh :oink:

[Octavian]

Not much worse than some he fielded today in the press conference from people who actually get paid to ask questions:


So is Malcolm Kelley gonna be a big part of the gameplan now that Adrian's out?

Bob: Umm...yeah. He was a big part of the gameplan when Adrian was in.

Are you gonna tell the receivers they need to make big plays now?

Bob: Well, we've been telling them that since I got here.


Gosh, Bob sure was short w/ us today...don't know why.

Think I'll write a critical collumn...

[picasso]

yeah um this is Peppermint Patsy from up here in umm Tulsa by an large.
hey coach is there any way y'all can tell everyone your game plan against Aggy er um oSu this season and whatnot? I think it would be umm very beneficial for the umm Aggy err um by an large oSu fanbase err well I mean coaching staff no well um Brent Parker you sumbitch! hey uhhh well is anyone still there and whatnot?
hmmm.

[RacerX]

Not much worse than some he fielded today in the press conference from people who actually get paid to ask questions:


So is Malcolm Kelley gonna be a big part of the gameplan now that Adrian's out?

Bob: Umm...yeah. He was a big part of the gameplan when Adrian was in.

Are you gonna tell the receivers they need to make big plays now?

Bob: Well, we've been telling them that since I got here.


Gosh, Bob sure was short w/ us today...don't know why.

Think I'll write a critical collumn...

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

[SoonerJason]

Hey Coach.. This is Chief Puffin Smoke from the Duck Creek Casino, I mean Tribe..

Can you tell me if you think your going to cover the... I mean score more then 14 on Saturday?

Puff Puff Passsssssss

[picasso]

Bob spoke about how unreal it is to implement the option game now and also about the myth of other teams stacking the box against Adrian. he said most teams have run the same base defense against them and AD as they have on film against other teams this season.:D


hey coach, this is John from Lincoln. how tough is it now to win with you own players that weren't recruited by that masterful coach John Blake?

awight.

[picasso]

Hey Coach.. This is Chief Puffin Smoke from the Duck Creek Casino, I mean Tribe..

Can you tell me if you think your going to cover the... I mean score more then 14 on Saturday?

Puff Puff Passsssssss
now now, there's more white trash in dem casinos that injuns.

[picasso]

hey coach this is Mark from Stillwater. what type of golf shoes do you wear? do they match your belt?

thanks, I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

[Widescreen]

yeah um this is Peppermint Patsy from up here in umm Tulsa by an large.
hey coach is there any way y'all can tell everyone your game plan against Aggy er um oSu this season and whatnot? I think it would be umm very beneficial for the umm Aggy err um by an large oSu fanbase err well I mean coaching staff no well um Brent Parker you sumbitch! hey uhhh well is anyone still there and whatnot?
hmmm.
That's a riot. Pat Jones and whatnot. :D

[picasso]

uh yeah can I git a fisherman's platter with hush puppies and cold slaw?

ummm this is bob Barry and the Bob Stoops call-in show, heheh.

ahhh I got ya Dad, it's BeeBeeJ, just joshin ya guys!

ahhh that's not very cool there BBJ, you should know your Dad has a weakness for the fisherman's platter. seen him scarf it up many times on this show right here. certainly.

[birddog]

still at it, eh?:D

funny stuff.

[picasso]

still at it, eh?:D

funny stuff.
it's therapy.

[birddog]

"coach, hey sir i think you're the greatest. uh, how many deep knee bends can you do?"

[picasso]

hey coach, this is Crazy Larry Fenton from Okesa. what did Les Miles mean a few years ago when he said let er rip? was he talking about his fitted ballcap being 3 sizes too small or was he speaking about excessive flatulent type stuff like being full of hot air or horse crap?

[picasso]

ah oh I don't know Crazy Larry, did he ask Len Swan to pull his finger or anything?

[picasso]

hey guys it's BeeBeeJ aginn. Dad used to pull that old pull my fanger trick on me all the tyme. and yep, I'd fall for it. one time it blew Daddy's wig off into the goldfish bowl. heh heh.

[picasso]

ha ha, I tell ya what there Bey Bey J, one time back at K-State, Coach Mangino pulled that finger trick on Coach Snyder while he was hypnotized and on a 6 day film breakdown binge. after the smoke and green fog had cleared, we had to pry coach Snyder out of the wall on the north side of the coaches office. his imprint is still there in that cinder blocks wall with Coach Mangino's signature at the bottom.
it reads Snyder and Mangino, had a blast, '93. we used to tell that story all the time. certainly.

[picasso]

Don from Dale, hey coach. how come when they say the defense is stacking the box against Adrian. I've been watching football for many years and there ain't no gull damn box on tha field.

[picasso]

ahhh I think the box their referring too there Don is the block on top of Les Miles neck, what d ya think there Bob?
haha, sounds good to me coach, he's at the 15, 10, 9, 8, 3.......

not yet Bob, wait til this Saturday, here pull my finger.

[ou4me]

haha, sounds good to me coach, he's at the 15, 10, 9, 8, 3.......

not yet Bob, wait til this Saturday, here pull my finger.


Now that's some funny ****e, right thar. Spek!

[picasso]

hey coach, we've got Merv Johnson on the phone. Coach you have a question for the coach?
ummm Bob and Bob, I just wanted to say that, ohhhhhhh you know, that pull my finger formation has just been too confusing to our youngsters on the line. they seem to be making senseless mistakes that end up costing us points and stalling drives.
good fundamental football will outlast any mewcho flatulato anyday gentlemen. unless of course it's a Dresden Firebomb ala Coach Mangino. then I'm heading for my fishin cabin.

[picasso]

heeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Harry Clsffpary here. when is the nexstph big Hooter Day in Norman? I wan I wanna want a seat in uppper deck ift ya know what I mean. heEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!

[picasso]

hey coach this is Trey from College Station. was it just me or did you feel like you were in a time warp and watching a rerun of Hee-Haw when Arcee Slocum would speak?

ah certainly know what ya mean there Trey. I get the same feeling listening to Brad Henry. certainly.

[ou4me]

heeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Harry Clsffpary here. when is the nexstph big Hooter Day in Norman? I wan I wanna want a seat in uppper deck ift ya know what I mean. heEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!


Wow, Lou Holtz called in too?? Cool.

[picasso]

hey coach that reminds me, when you're in a pull my finger formation is the power part called nuclear or nucular?

ahh well Bob it depends, the power formation coach Mangino drew up years ago is called the bean burrito, and with an extra tight end it's called the bean burrito with habanero. certainly.

[picasso]

Wow, Lou Holtz called in too?? Cool.
no, Lou sent in a telegram via Western Union.

[picasso]

hey coach this is Trevor Matich from ESPN. do you remember back in '84 when we errr BYU won that weak-assed national title and your very own Barry Switzer was used for the name of a Utah sanitation plant? [sound of gas slowly leaking through a wool suit/]

ummm I was busy knocking heads at Iowa there Trena, but I'm sure you would know plenty about some Utah raw sewage facility.

[picasso]

well that all but wraps up another thrilling show here at Red L....hey everyone it's Al Eschenbacher! Al, nice hat there, you look like an anemic mountain man.

ahhhh yes a, Bob and Bob showwwwwwww, I was just at Hooters, drinking watered down beer and a staring at young boobiessssssssssssssssssss......
I had a slip the bartender a fiver becawse he didn't think I was old enough to be in therrrrrrre a.

I was a in Cubaer last summerrrrrrrrrrrrrr and had a pawtisan puewel the finger trick on me ahhhhhh....luckily I had been drinking heavily ahhhhhhhhhhh, I awoke with my face planted betwixt some Cubaern cleavage ahhhhhhhh, wasn't shuwa if it was male or feeeeeemale ahhhhhh.

belch.

[picasso]

swear I'm sober. I did however load up on some extra hot barbeque a few hours ago. which has the same effect I'm afraid.

[picasso]

ok coach, they're telling me we have time for one more caller before our super 5 minute break when I can hit the lavatory and find out what's making my stomach make those noises that sound like a gay night club song.

Brick from San Diego, you're on with coach Stoops,

I i I love AD. I love phone, I love phone.

[picasso]

we're back. false alarm folks. it was alll air. kinda like my broadcasting too coach. hahaha.

ahh Bob your hot air isn't as bad as some, that Barry Tramel looks like he has a drooling hair lip all the time ya know. that and he looks like he's been on a sleeping pill binge since 1987. certainly.

Denny from Mesa, Arizona, wow, you're on with Coach Stoops, vroooooooooot!

if you gonna crown 'em, CROWN 'EM!!!!!!!

[GrapevineSooner]

So Pic...

Basically what you're saying is the call-in show is one big f***ing waste of time, right?

[picasso]

wow coach this show reminds me of my wild days back in Reno, Nevada! I spent a month there one night. hahahaha.

ah yeah Bob back in college in Iowa we'd have attractive girl counting contests. certainly those were wild times.

ok folks, it looks like it's time to wrap it up and call it a day here at Red Lobster. I'll try to remember to remove my lobster bib from my suit this time around. haha, wore than thing for 3 days last week coach.

well ah Bob I'm sure that kept the tie and suit clean there.

ok folks, good night from Norman and remember.......James Hale is on the line? you think it's either him or an 8 year old kid? well tell him to call next week. good night Sooner fans!

certainly.

[picasso]

So Pic...

Basically what you're saying is the call-in show is one big f***ing waste of time, right?
:D

tonight was my first listen this season. it wasn't NEARLY as painful as last year when the folks were asking Bob basic questions like, "how come y'all don't try running a play that scores a touchdown?" stuff like that.

[picasso]

p.s. this was all in jest. being from oil patch, Oklahoma, myself. I have many a friend and family who falls into the redneck category. I love 'em. :)

and no offense to those on the board, JohnnyMack and Homey in particular.:D

[SoonerJason]

Hey Coach.. Dusty D. from Chicago here, How about letting me put a helmet on that Berry Tramel *******?

I onced killed a man... err.. nevermind.

[nanimonai]

uh yeah can I git a fisherman's platter with hush puppies and cold slaw?

ummm this is bob Barry and the Bob Stoops call-in show, heheh.

ahhh I got ya Dad, it's BeeBeeJ, just joshin ya guys!

ahhh that's not very cool there BBJ, you should know your Dad has a weakness for the fisherman's platter. seen him scarf it up many times on this show right here. certainly.

But seriously dad, I'll take a fisherman's platter.

[picasso]

hey guys, has anybody picked Phil Mickelson yet?

[Soonrs]

Caller 1: Hello. What is the name of the manager at that there Reb Lobster?
Bob B: Why?
Caller 1: Last time I was there, I ate too many cheese biscuits and shrimp and got the runs and....
Bob B: Next caller..
Caller 2: Hello Bobby. I am Billy Ray from Horsepig, Arkansas.
Bob S: Hello Billy
Caller 2: It's Billy Ray, Anyway...do you think we will sign the kid from OKC? Do you think he will start next season???
Bob S: I can't comment on recruits......
Bob B: Next caller...
Caller 3: Hello, my name Junebug and I have been a Sooner fan since 2000. I hear you are taking the Miami job. Why you want to go there, coach???

[MiccoMacey]

These are hilarious.

[picasso]

trolls.

[OKC-SLC]

dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah ummm this is Mike from Tuscon, dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
heh

[stoopified]

Picasso is this a one man thread or can anyone play?

[picasso]

Picasso is this a one man thread or can anyone play?
hey, I was just quoting. shoot away!

I'm going to try and find the script from when Craig Humphries called. I fell asleep during that segment.

[Football Jim]

Uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,Uh,,,,,,,,,,Am I on,,,,,,,,,,,,uh,,,,,,,,,,,hello,,,,,,,,,,

Uh ya, coach,,,,,,,,,,uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,coach,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,uh,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ca we uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,can we have a big fight on our field like they did in Miami?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I would like to get into that fight if I could,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I can bring my sister,,,,,,,,,,,,, uh,,,,,,,hello,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[MRNOTDUCKS]

Hey Coach,

Chris Farley from up in the Windy City.

Remember back in 2001 when the Sooners beat the horns and you said, "Jason showed great leadership and toughness. He executed exceptionally well today coming off the bench."

Remember that?

Uh, that was awesome!!

[Landthief 1972]

Uh, Coach? Am I on? Uh, okay. Hey coach, I'm a big fan and, uh, just had a comment on uh, the defense.

[sigh from Coach]

Don't you uh, think the d-line, uh, needs to get off their, uh, blocks better to free up, uh, the linebackers? Have missed, uh, tackles been the root cause of uh, the defensive, uh problems?

[goingoneight]

Hey Coach, this is Mo Lester from Stillwater... I was just wonderin' whatchou Sooners are a plannin' for the ol' ****** game in November?...

Bob: We plan on winning comfortably, I guess... :rolleyes:

Huh?!?! What the f*ck did you just say? I'll kill you, ******. No one but Baylor comes into Stillwater and beats us... Classless *******. Go Pokes!

Bob: :rolleyes: (sighs sarcastically) Next Caller...

Hey, Bob, what's up?

Bob: I've been better how are you?

Not too bad... Say, you haven't been arrested for drunk driving or been caught paying players out of your own pockets as of late have you?

Bob: (Laughs) Thanks, sir... I needed that...

[Flagstaffsooner]

Hey Bob, this is Gordon calling from Rio. Sorry about what it did to you.

[background girl with Spanish accent] Daddy Gordo, where did you get all those yankee dollars?[/background girl with Spanish accent-and giggles]

Bob, my doctor told me to come here to heal because I feel just sick that I missed that call.

[hogfan]

I would like to offer my help please? We, as Razorbacks, would like to give you Houston Nutt as your new coach. He has a great running game. LOL Only problem is he won't let his QB run the offense he won a state champ. with. I promise you, when someone stops our run game and he doesn't let Mitch loose, he will be hunting a new job next year!

[Okla-homey]

Hey coach. This is Billy Wayne from Okmulgee. Great win tonight. I was listening on the radio here at the "Sack-o-suds" where I'm the night manager now. I started out stocking and backing up the cashier, but the first night manager got picked up for diddlin' his 13 y/o neice...

<Ahem>, did you have a question?

Oh yeah, see'n as how we got us a triple threat offensive backfield now, how about working up that wishbone again. Nobody would be expecting it and defenses would be all confoolerized by it and stuff. I'll hang up and listen.

[picasso]

ah certainly there Billy Wayne, we'd like to be able to run the option a time or two and hang a half of a hundred like ole Barry used to do there, but uh I was in Big 10 cold weather mode last night and just playin the clock. certainly.

uh coach, Billy Wayne was one of my all time favorite actors. I still love that Rio Bravo with Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson. hahahha.

ah Bob I think ya mean John Wayne there, the Duke. certainly.

[picasso]

Bronc from Burns Flat, hey coach, I noticed last night we tackle better in high socks. yew know, tha kind we wore back in the day, circa '84? how come y'all don't just wear them socks up like that all the time? maybe even wear some Spot Built cleats?

thanks, I'll hang up and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

[picasso]

hey guys it's Bee Bee J agin. me and Dean Blevins are still stuck up here on top of tha press box. some maintenance fella locked us up here for some reason.
anyway, Dean is about to freeze to death because of that pretty boy suede jacket he wore Saturday night.
hahaha, it's perdy funny seein the snot sickles hangin outta his nose guys.

[picasso]

don't miss the show tonight folks!

I hope nobody notices I have the same suit on. I wandered into the crab leg freezer at closing time last week and have been locked in here the whole time.

Did you know if you put a frozen crab cake under your armpit that within 30 minutes it's nice and toasty for eating?
hahaha.

[SoonerJason]

Let's go to Owasso Oklahoma..


<hillbilly>eerrraaa ahhhh hey a coach..


OMG I can't even type this.. LOL

Man.. Poor Stoopsy

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

'Hi coach, this is Mike from Lostmeweenie down here 'round Supulpee and I was wondering if anyone was lookin' at that giant kid from Miamuh...he's a monster, I tell ya...'Junior! Run fetch me the pliers! YES! We gotta do it again or it'll grow back!"...oh, sorry coach...my boy...well, my boy's a mess but about that kid from Miamuh...'

[goingoneight]

I would like to offer my help please? We, as Razorbacks, would like to give you Houston Nutt as your new coach. He has a great running game. LOL Only problem is he won't let his QB run the offense he won a state champ. with. I promise you, when someone stops our run game and he doesn't let Mitch loose, he will be hunting a new job next year!

Although we've had great luck with coaches from Arkansas' program, I thinks we like Stoops alright... Well, all except for this guy...

Caller: Coach, my name is Nick, my friends call me NickZepp... I'm just wondering why OUr program is so terrible with you in charge. I mean, you just HAD to go and take credit for winning an MNC with coach Blake's recruits. I think you're just like Larry Coker, and I'm afraid of Mack Brown winning every single Red River Shootout until the day comes that Barry replaces you.

Stoops: [faint snoring noise heard]

Caller: Hello? ... Hello?!? IT WORKED, HE'S GONE!!!

[SoonerJason]

Oh the hill billy *** kissing on that show.. why do I want to move to OK?

[picasso]

ok folks, don't miss tonight's show, the Bob Stoops Show Halloween addition!
I'm coming dressed as either Misses Doubtfire or Lee Trevino.
Coach Stoops said it's a surprise what he's wearing but I'm guessing it will be John Wayne in True Grit. or was that Bruce Wayne? or Wayne Newton John....or is that Bruce Lee Wayne? oh well, hahahaha.

and don't forget Junior and Dean up on top of the press box. they're having a food/can drive or something up there. might be a hunger strike from Dean for Mike Gundy to back off the hair treatment.

ok, we'll see y...beeeeeeep

[picasso]

http://sooner.nmn.speedera.net/pics26/400/ZB/ZBKARZZYWXYQYSB.20041122083405.jpg
rawwwrrrrrr! hahahaha

http://espn.go.com/media/ncf/1999/1007/photo/a_stoops.jpg
of course I'll answer the phone if Jerry Jones calls. how else will I know who it is? in a great way.

http://www.iniardwatch.com/red%20lobster%20sign.gif

http://www.mediabistro.com/content/archives/03/06/27/joebob.jpg

http://kfor.images.worldnow.com/images/198593_BG1.jpg
hahaha, got ya aginnnn!

http://visports.vegasinsider.com/visports/images/football/college/mangino.jpg
pufffftttfffffffffffffffffffffffff....

http://bill-snyder-news.newslib.com/img/logo/4698.jpg
hmmm...verrrry interesting...

http://static.newsok.biz/sites/newsok/images/sports/y9eschbach.jpg
hey! imna blah blha jibbly jumbly oeehhhhahhh hey! eeeuuuuuggge ahhhhhh.

http://419.bittenus.com/SusanUwaoma/Bubba%20Teeth.jpg
c'monnnnnnnnnnn, anuther fieyeld goawell?!?!

http://www.agrs.org/publicat/mag/2004/Spring_04/Web%20Photos/Johnson.gif
well, it's halftime Bob...

http://www.blork.org/blog/imyjiz/Habanero-young.jpg

http://www.navigatorinn.com/images/popcorn-shrimp.gif

http://www2.okstate.edu/pio/kidsc12.jpg
tremendous typing son. great resolve...

http://www.boxtalent.com/images/DeanBlevins.jpg
pull my finger Jim and Al, there's a surprise.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

I'm gonna go rate this thread...'killer'.

[picasso]

http://www.morgannews.us/trevor-matich.jpg
three of my favorite words: Provo, football and weenie.

[picasso]

Coach this is The Ultimate from Jimmy Austin right here in Norman. gotta give it up to myself, just dropped off a nice little 73 today.
is there any way you can hire an assistant like that genius up in Stillwater Larry Fedora?

thanks, I'd also like to hear a little be happy dorkball music if........beeeep!


Bob I'm not sure what the caller was gettin at there. we try to score points evvry game. certainly.

I don't know either coach. not sure what Larry's fedora has to do with football anyway. gee I haven't worn mine since JFK was in office. hahahaha.

[Vegas Sooner]

.............after Jason White won the Heisman and said he would return for his senior year:

WWLS: "Go Ahead"

REDNECK HICK FROM THE STICKS: "......yea uuuhhhh I'm a first time caller long time listenerrrrr...uhhh, yea....I was just wonderin' uuuhhhhhh Whos gonna be the quarterback next year...yea and I take your answer on the air....."

[picasso]

you know I vividly recall people calling in and dogging White for not making the roster for the Titans.
at least Traber told 'em to get a life and such.

[Vegas Sooner]

its just stupid 'necks

[picasso]

its just stupid 'necks
no no. there's some good urbanites too.:D

[Okla-homey]

Boomer Sooner coach! This is Ed from Sapulpa. I just wanna say great win tonight. You is one gutsy feller. Be honest now, did you mean to call that last time out? Me and the guys watching the game at the Elks Lodge almost p1ssed ourselves...Well sure Ed, I just wanted to see how A&M was gonna line-up. That one was on me. Sorry about your pants.

[Okla-homey]

Heh, good one, Coach. Just a reminder folks, tonights show brought to you by the Big 12 conference, the movie Oceans 12, the 12 Tribes of Israel, and the 12 Days of Christmas. And, don't forget, tonights late movie on channel 12 is Twelve Monkeys.

and don't forget Bar-S weenies. Bar-S weenies are the official tailgate food of Big XII football.

[StoopTroup]

http://www.holsumaz.com/gfx/bread-bar-s-coneys-450.jpg
Advertisement

YWIA

[soonerduke]

Coach Stoops this is coach Franchione from College Station. Just wanted you to know that allowing your team to go for it on fourth down with the ball inside your 30 yard line and just over a minute left on the clock was a terrible decision.

[Okla-homey]

Hey Coach, this is Earl from Coweta. Now that we got this Patrick feller what can spin, duck, jive and shuck whilst runnin' north-south, what say we get ol' Adrian Peterson to give us another year? <hiccup> Thataway, it don't matter who we dig up for QB this summer as long as he has two hands and two arms and can catch a snap. Heckfar, he don't even have to be able to do nuthin but hand-off left or right, and oncet in a while tuck his chin in and run 'er up the middle for a couple just to keep them defenses guessin'. Yeehaw! We can run a true wishbone and never throw the ball again.<belch> I even got me a name for it. The ADAP Offense. It'd be the awesome!<fart>I'll hang-up and listen.

[picasso]

ok folks, don't miss tonight's show, it's the Bob Stoops Show Election night version of the ummm, let me look here.....Bob Stoops Show!!!

whew what a weekend folks! First I nearly got arrested for whizzing on the Lassie graves there near the stadium, then I run into George Bush walking around the corner of the press box and accidentally kicked him in the groin!!! Did you folks know George Sr. has false teeth? hahah, he spit 'em out when that happened.
anyway, I got out of jail just in time to do the aTm game. wow what a toenail biter!!!
also, I can't wait to tell you about Merv and I's problems finding the elevator at Kyle Field-can you folks say "oops this is the ladies restroom?" hahahahahahha.

[SoonerJason]

Coach, personal question from here at Red Lobster.

What's your middle name?

Stoops: Anthony.. Robert Anthony

Bob: Wow, that's impressive!

Stoops: No.. Not really.

LOL OMG

[picasso]

beep. hey coach this is Fred in Frederick, did yew ever think Mike Leach kinda looked like he could be Vince Gill's ugly younger brother? kinda like them Wilson boys in Hollywood? you know one has that hooked nose that looks lawk it's bin kicked by Bruce Lee?

[daveNnorman]

someone needs to make some calls to the gundy show, with sheeps FX in the background.

http://info.fuw.edu.pl/multimedia/sounds/animals/goats.au

[strangedude]

Hey Gentlemen (spit spit spit) I gotta give it up to myself. I told you last week that OKlahoma would win the game outright. (spit spit spit) I am the ultimate, and I am shaping the minds of Americas children... and if you would just sit your children down in front of the radio they would learn... (spit spit spit) ... What do you mean the show's over? (spit spit spit) I'm not done yet!

[Crimson and Orange]

"Coach, this is Denni...I mean uh....Dave in...uh....east Texas. I'm just kind of wondering why you didn't consider doing the....uh...classy thing....and uh, you know...punting to Texas A&M instead of, uh..... that cheap shot call going for it on 4th down. I mean, after all, wouldn't it have shown some huevos to let your defense win the game instead of doing such a sneaky thing? I'll hang up and cry....."

[SoonerStormchaser]

Hey Cooooach, this is Lee "the penis" Corso...

I was jes wondrin if you were plannin any sneakin round the chicken coop to get into a BCS bowl. Cause if you are, NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND, Baylor is taking you down this weekend.

I'll hang up and go back into the closet with Mark...

[Boise State Penguin]

Dear Bob,


Why are worse than Boise State again?

[tommieharris91]

Bob,

This is Mike from Stillwater. Don't you think you'd look better on the sideline if you took longer than your wife to do your hair like me, errrrr..., Mike Gundy? Don't you think it would make you a better coach, too? I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

[StormySooner-IN]

Hey bob,


Its me Andrew.

Ya...the 14 year old living in INDY.

Yeah. :)

Anyway,

we seem to be having a cockroachHook 'em infection in my middle school.

The other sooner fans were wondering if you could hop in the Sooner Schooner, come up here and take care of these maggets.


You're already here!?!?


Okay, will be there in a minute with the entire ESPN camera crew.

Bye-bye

:D

[winnard]

can they have the first half hour the non-redneck call-in show half hour show?

that would help me a lot. I'll hang up and listen to your answer.


This might be the best post of the year.


winnard

[Okla-homey]

Boomer Sooner Coach,

This is Clyde from Romulus OK. I was just a wonderin' something. Me and the guys who I play poker with at the Kickapoo Casino got to studyin' yesterdays game this afternoon. Great win by the way. Anyway, did you put out some mind control waves or somethin' to make that Gundy feller leave his second strang QB in for that last series what coulda won them the game? My cousin Delbert thinks you might have some kind of antenner or something in that visor you always wear that confoolerizes the other coachs and sech.<belch>

I tole Delbert that's just plain crazy, but Delbert believes in that sorta thang ever since he claims space aliens hoisted him up into they flying-saucer and drained out all his bodily fluids back in 1977. I tole Delbert that's bullbutter cuz you cain't be alive without no bodily fluids but...<ahem>

I'll hang up and listen.

[picasso]

Coach, this is Dave from Stillwater. what did you think about that (PISTOLS FIRIN!!!) er ummm, did you think about the moral victory by oSu yesterday? we err they umm oSu really won the game don't you think? pistols firin?

beep.

ah I'm not really sure what ya mean there Dave. you kind of sound like that Barney Fife from the TV show. certainly.

Coach, I'm looking at the box score here and it still says OU won the game. hahaha, thanks again Stillwater.

[Flying Scotsman]

Coach Stoops,

What time is it now?

What time will it be in one minute?

Yours truly,
Stunned Aggie

PS I can't figure out this time which Aggie school I represent?

Could you please tell me in 2 minutes

PSS What time is it now Coach?

[picasso]

dah it's hammer time there shunned aggie. ask Bobby Reid's shoulder. in a great way.

coach I just love that Vanilla Ice. hahahahaha...

[OU4LIFE]

Dear Bob,


Why are worse than Boise State again?


In what universe does that make sense?

Maybe in a universe where blue turf is acceptable.

Who is "Why"? Are you saying they are worse than Boise State again? Cause that seems to be more of a statement than a question. Maybe it's the questions mark that's throwing me off, certainly.

[s00nerFan]

Coach Stoops,

What time is it now?

What time will it be in one minute?

Yours truly,
Stunned Aggie

PS I can't figure out this time which Aggie school I represent?

Could you please tell me in 2 minutes

PSS What time is it now Coach?

Stunned Aggie,

The time is 6:00pm Monday, November 27 2006. Sorry you are still Stunned after another ****** victory by OU. Look on the bright side it is still November, basketball season has just started and your OSU basketball team already has more wins (7) than your Football team has had all year.

I'm glad Boone Pickens is building a bigger stadium so more fans just like you can show up the next time we come to Stoolwater. We think $600 tickets are over-priced for our fans, but a ticket to see a Stunned Aggie :stunned: is PRICELESS!!!

Boomer Sooner!!!

[picasso]

coach? this here is Hulie from Boggy Creek.

what happens if we fans and you fellers on the bus cain't make it all the way up to Kansas City for the footbawell game? yew know cause of the snow and such?
is there a field or place we can go ahead and play them Huskers at? you know iffin we cain't go to Kansas Cittay?
I was just askin because my cousin Red has a square-off place in Fredonia.

that could be a .....beeeeeep.


ah oh I don't know there hallie or is it Hulie? like a Hootie? ah anyway we've been up there many times and I think we can make the drive or flight in time to face the Huskers. in a great way.

coach I think that was Hootie. is he still on the line? I used to dance to that song of his about holding my hand. really entertaining and reminded me of BBJ when he was younger. only he was holding his own hand. hahaha, he always said he was in there combing his hair.

[picasso]

wowwwwwwww coach, Al Eschbach just ordered shrimp cocktails to be brought out every 5 minutes until someone passes out.

what's that Al? eeeeuuuuuuuggggggge? not sure what that means. hahahahahahhha.

[NormanPride]

Hey coach, it's Bill from Stillwell.

I got a question for you there... Whatever happened to the ninjy? Didn't we score a lot when we used that? Also, why do the defensive linemen always get blocked? I remember when those Salmon boys got in there and made tackles all the time.

I'll take my question off the air.

[SoonerStormchaser]

Thanks for digging up this epic thread NP...

[Mississippi Sooner]

Hey coach, this is Jimmy from Miami.

No, not Miamuh. Miami, Florida.

Anyway, I got this sweet endorsement deal with an all natural herbal supplement called Extense. It's guaranteed to make your junk 20% larger. They don't pay a lot, but you get a lifetime supply of the product. Thought maybe you'd want to get on board.

Wait. You mean you ain't Barry? I thought this was the Oklahoma coach's call in show?

Sorry, wrong number.

[oumartin]

Hey coach, this is Jimmy from Miami.

No, not Miamuh. Miami, Florida.

Anyway, I got this sweet endorsement deal with an all natural herbal supplement called Extense. It's guaranteed to make your junk 20% larger. They don't pay a lot, but you get a lifetime supply of the product. Thought maybe you'd want to get on board.

Wait. You mean you ain't Barry? I thought this was the Oklahoma coach's call in show?

Sorry, wrong number.


Is that suppose to be funny?

[Soonerntxs]

Hey coach, this is Bubba from Fartnuckle


Me an Maw wasa jus waner-un, ifin yu'd like ta fur that ther Wilson feller?

(long pause)

Ya thar?

Coach?

[Mississippi Sooner]

Is that suppose to be funny?


Not really, but Jimmy Johnson's Extense commercial is a real laugh riot.

[NormanPride]

Hey, can you hear me? *radio in the background* Hello? *feedback*

Hey this is Rick from Ada. *feedback* I was wondering if you can do some of those trickeration plays more because it's underexpeted or something? I know back when we ran the bone we did it all the time! Do you think that would work now?

*feedback*

[Mississippi Sooner]

I think I need to find a different place to park. Some station playing Mexican music keeps bleeding in.

[NormanPride]

Folks it's that time of the show where we bring on a player and coach talks about his film while the kid says "Yes, sir" a lot. Ready, coach?

Certainly, Bob. This week we're gonna highlight our left tackle, so we have Cory Brandon, Jarvis Jones, and a guy named Joey Hargrove we had to stick in there at the end because of injuries.

Coach, it seems Mr. Hargrove isn't out of the hospital yet. Sad state of affairs that it is.

Well that's too bad there, Bob.

*film rolls, showing the left tackle fall down a lot*

Well you see here we're having a hard time executing, and Jarvis is spending a lot of effort getting up when he could be focusing on keeping Landry's head on his shoulders. Now Cory's in -

*RB takes the ball, runs into the back of Brandon, who is pulling for no reason*

And you can see here we just get our wires crossed. Cory, do you know what you did wrong on this play?

Yes, sir.

Good, son. Now on this play we execute in a great way -

*Demarco gets a swing pass and Jimmy, running for his life, hurtles into the safety opening a hole big enough for Mangino's rascal to fit through*

And Hargrove here makes a great play.

Coach, I hear Hargrove's skull will heal quickly.

Certainly. He's a young kid, ahhh... and you know how those young kids are. They heal quickly. He should be ready for spring practice, certainly.

[Collier11]

Coach,

THis is VET from Wister, ah sh*t im too drunk and forgot my question.......................................... .................................................. .................well, your wife is hot...Later

[KantoSooner]

There's a reason Larry King is walking away from the money. And it ain't old age alone.