View Full Version : Dan Hawkins ...
sooneron
10/16/2006, 09:47 PM
... Thinks Supercuts still does a really swell job!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e3/Dan_Hawkins_Colorado.jpg/200px-Dan_Hawkins_Colorado.jpg
TrophyCollector
10/16/2006, 09:50 PM
...Had his membership to "Hair Club for Men" revoked.
royalfan5
10/16/2006, 09:51 PM
was the model for the easter Island statues.
sooneron
10/16/2006, 09:52 PM
Picks all the pepperoni off the pizza!
badger
10/16/2006, 09:54 PM
...thinks he can improve a team that lost by more than 60 points in a championship game.
...thinks the throwing marshmallows are edible marshmallows.
...misses the blue turf...
...and the winning.
goingoneight
10/16/2006, 09:56 PM
... loses to D2 schools...
Paperclip
10/16/2006, 09:57 PM
nevermind. :mad:
sooneron
10/16/2006, 09:57 PM
was caught at Folsom Field with a can of Blue spray paint!
sooneron
10/16/2006, 10:00 PM
thought that he'd get free wings for coaching at CU.
OKC-SLC
10/16/2006, 10:56 PM
... loses to D2 schools...
I just want to reiterate this...he LOSES TO D2 SCHOOLS!!!1
goingoneight
10/16/2006, 11:06 PM
So Colorado loses six games, beats Tech, gets trounced by Baylor, what does this say about three of OUr next opponents??? What does that say about aTm who lost to Tech IN KYLE FIELD???
If OU loses another game, it will be because they beat themselves. And they'll have to really bend over to do that...
sooner94
10/16/2006, 11:33 PM
watched "Pretty in Pink" and said "Dude, my hair DOES look cool!"
XingTheRubicon
10/16/2006, 11:43 PM
wears sandals when he skydives
badger
10/16/2006, 11:50 PM
...thinks the bcs should share:
http://espn-att.starwave.com/media/ncf/2005/1214/photo/g_hawkins_195.jpg
...pumps iron in blue spandex shorts:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/hawkinsp3big.jpg
...gets excited in games versus louisiana tech:
http://www.kgw.com/sports/stories/L_IMAGE.1009386cd18.93.88.fa.7c.7debf3b.jpg
...is going more bald with each buff loss:
http://www.covers.com/images/2006/180x180/hawkins_dan061006b.jpg
:D
Rooster
10/17/2006, 01:18 AM
is really roy orbison..he really went to colorado to play with the traveling wilburys..
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4d/Zoom_19166.jpg
batonrougesooner
10/17/2006, 05:19 AM
Expects OU to unveil the "Collarbone" offense this Saturday.
DrZaius
10/17/2006, 06:08 AM
Is the President of NAMBLA
sooneron
10/17/2006, 07:07 AM
Is planning to model a press conference tirade after Dennis Green's.
...should never have left The Darkness
...prefers that the few CU fans who are left throw batteries instead of marshmallows
...went to every music store in Boulder looking for Mindy's dad, because he wants to meet Mork.
birddog
10/17/2006, 07:39 AM
...won't carry a pen in his pocket because he's afraid he'll puncture his scrotum.
BudSooner
10/17/2006, 09:15 AM
Thinks Baylor would be a tough team to play.
BudSooner
10/17/2006, 09:19 AM
Stuffs his pockets with the taco sauce packets at Taco Bell.
Likes the tingling feeling that comes with the ****s.
Wants to do the nasty with Ralphie.
L Buff
10/17/2006, 01:37 PM
So Colorado loses six games, beats Tech, gets trounced by Baylor, what does this say about three of OUr next opponents??? What does that say about aTm who lost to Tech IN KYLE FIELD???
Yes ... losing by three points in triple overtime is getting trounced. :rolleyes:
buffalo1
10/17/2006, 01:54 PM
LBuff..... allow their confidence and mindset to continue.
I'm hoping the okla coaches and players adopt the same mindset.
CU is 1-6, not a good team, I'm sure okla can win with little effort.
LBuff.... however, I DID like how Hawkins AND the CU players reacted to their first win. They enjoyed it for about 5 minutes and then coaches AND players alike said, "ok, glad to get a win, now it's back to work... we have a ton of work to do, we are going to go prepare for our next game."
It seemed as though the media was trying to make a big deal out of CU's win while CU as a program said "thanks, but we gotta go work."
The Maestro
10/17/2006, 01:56 PM
Well, he ACTUALLY loses to 1-AA schools, not D2, but same difference.
And also misses Boise Freaking Idaho!
stoops the eternal pimp
10/17/2006, 03:46 PM
loves it when you call him big poppa
stoops the eternal pimp
10/17/2006, 04:01 PM
thinks it aint got no gas in it...mmmmmm
birddog
10/17/2006, 04:06 PM
...thinks colorado fans are "pleasant."
stoops the eternal pimp
10/17/2006, 04:07 PM
thinks 1 is the loneliest number
Landthief 1972
10/17/2006, 04:56 PM
...found buffalo1 and L Buff on MySpace.com by using the search term "members unable to sense sarcasm."
Hornsarelosers
10/17/2006, 06:18 PM
Hawkins will spend the holidays at home while he watches Boise State play in a bowl game on television.
goingoneight
10/17/2006, 07:31 PM
Yes ... losing by three points in triple overtime is getting beat by Baylor. :rolleyes:
;)
badger
10/17/2006, 09:06 PM
... had to name his daughter "Ralphie" instead of "Ralph" because he found out she was a girl.
birddog
10/17/2006, 09:11 PM
...is bringing homemade snowballs to the game on saturday "just in case things get out of hand."
douxpaysan
10/17/2006, 09:28 PM
Has a sister named Sadie?http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/images1/nov9_sadie_hawkins_day1.gif
sooneron
10/18/2006, 10:24 PM
Tries to mount a horse on it's right side.
badger
10/18/2006, 10:28 PM
... assigned the remaining two colorado fans to come to this board.
sooneron
10/18/2006, 10:38 PM
tries to catch the flying marshmallows in his mouth!
...now realizes that Boise State to Colorado was not a step up.
birddog
10/19/2006, 08:52 AM
...buys a new pair of Fast Bak shoes before games.
CincySooner
10/19/2006, 09:22 AM
... gave himself a game ball last week.
mxATVracer10
10/19/2006, 04:31 PM
...writes inappropriate messages to his underage paiges.
birddog
10/19/2006, 04:33 PM
...plans on wearing his lucky tuff skin jeans on saturday.
royalfan5
10/19/2006, 05:06 PM
...secretly wants to bring back the silver and blue CU helmets
birddog
10/19/2006, 05:22 PM
...prefers white rain hair spray to vidal sassoon..
...leaves a floater when he visits your house.
olevetonahill
10/19/2006, 08:01 PM
Wants to know " Where's the beef "
SoonerObsession
10/19/2006, 08:07 PM
...parks his car so close to yours that you barely have room enough to open your door to get back in.
sooneron
10/19/2006, 08:41 PM
leaves his shopping cart in the space next to his car.
goingoneight
10/19/2006, 08:47 PM
... is still better than OSU.
birddog
10/19/2006, 08:53 PM
...dips wintergreen hawken.
birddog
10/19/2006, 08:55 PM
...still can't solve that pesky rubik's cube.
sooneron
10/19/2006, 09:41 PM
thinks Boggle is all that!
birddog
10/19/2006, 09:59 PM
...enjoys a mean game of connect four.
Lord Farquaad
10/20/2006, 10:57 AM
Has never laid the Sooner Chuck Wagon on its side ....
letsroll
10/21/2006, 12:59 AM
...thinks with 6 loses he gets eggroll
goingoneight
9/23/2007, 02:20 PM
... doesn't coach intramurals.
...digs up last year's "Dan Hawkins..." thread instead of starting a new one.
SoonerEmpire
9/23/2007, 02:46 PM
... still wears his Members Only jacket that he bought in 1987...
SoonerEmpire
9/23/2007, 02:49 PM
... thinks that Don Johnson's role of "Det. James 'Sonny' Crockett" on Miami Vice has the best fashion sense on earth...
goingoneight
9/23/2007, 03:32 PM
... likes men.
SoonerStormchaser
9/23/2007, 04:37 PM
...is about to find out that the nightmare is about to begin cause IT'S BIG 12 FOOTBALL BROTHER!
King Crimson
9/23/2007, 04:49 PM
no one likes to touch himself more after all 4 wins at CU than "Hawk".
seriously.
Dan Hawkins fave topic of conversation is Dan Hawkins.
Socrefbek
9/23/2007, 04:55 PM
Likes to video the other teams offensive players .....
in the shower :eek:
devOUt
9/23/2007, 04:57 PM
....should lay off the helium.
SoonerKnight
9/23/2007, 05:07 PM
Looks at the schedule and cries in a corner muttering: "I can win." "I can win. We're Boise Freakin State!!!"
goingoneight
9/23/2007, 05:29 PM
... is practicing the Hook and Lateral Statue of Liberty reverse option play just in case.
stoops the eternal pimp
9/23/2007, 05:32 PM
falls for the "banana flavored" snow cone every time
illinisooner
9/23/2007, 06:03 PM
...refers to his son as "The Hawk".
birddog
9/23/2007, 08:51 PM
didn't use a helmet when he played ball because his hair was adequate protection.
badger
9/23/2007, 09:36 PM
...misses Boise State's easy, non-big 12 schedule
sooneron
9/23/2007, 09:47 PM
Can't figure out why the home depot is all out of batteries this time of year.
...should be charged with child abuse for starting his son at QB behind that OL.
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:26 AM
...Rides Ralphie during practice
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:27 AM
...Thinks his son oughtta be on a Wheaties box
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:27 AM
...thinks finger girl was flirting with him
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:28 AM
...is Rocky mountain HIGH if he thinks his team has a chance
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:29 AM
...Wishes he had a better job
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:30 AM
...shaves his pits
sanantoniosooner
9/24/2007, 12:31 AM
Ironically has a brother playing in the intramurals.
...said "NOW THAT'S HOW YOU DO A PRESS CONFERENCE, BRUTHA! WOOO!" after watching the Gundy video.
sanantoniosooner
9/24/2007, 12:34 AM
Had blue carpet installed in his house just cuz he likes it.
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:39 AM
...wears a butt plug to every game
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:40 AM
...cums over every morning to gel Gumby's hair
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:41 AM
...pees sitting down
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:42 AM
...Is dating Troy Aikman
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 12:43 AM
...caught herpes from Ralphie
Jewstin
9/24/2007, 01:06 AM
... gonna go play intramurals, brother.
Crucifax Autumn
9/24/2007, 01:13 AM
...has nightmares of being run over by a Schooner
goingoneight
9/24/2007, 01:20 AM
... won't fill in "Head Coach at Colorado" on his resume.
OKC Sooner
9/24/2007, 02:04 AM
... collects Victorian sex toys
freshchris05
9/24/2007, 12:09 PM
...let's pete rose cut his hair
...actually thought CU was a good idea
...visits CU's on-campus brothels
...made some films in college he's not too proud of
...still believes in Santa Claus
...made out with a tranny
...is a never-nude
TexSooner000
9/24/2007, 03:55 PM
LOVES THE MAYONAISE ON HIS HOT DOGS.:cool:
Landthief 1972
9/24/2007, 04:08 PM
...never has to buy batteries for his wife's "toys," he just bends over and grabs them off the field during the game.
stoopified
9/24/2007, 04:29 PM
was caught at Folsom Field with a can of Blue spray paint!
Don't you mean a 55 gallon drum?
Jeopardude
9/24/2007, 04:47 PM
will star in Unhinged: The Gary Busey Story.
birddog
9/24/2007, 05:08 PM
went to the dokken concert last week.
soonerinabilene
9/24/2007, 05:14 PM
...for some reason reminds me of that euro politician that got poisoned.
josh09
9/24/2007, 05:37 PM
....is still just happy he beat Colorado St.
stoops the eternal pimp
9/24/2007, 05:59 PM
Wants to yell at Jenni Carlson too
The Maestro
9/24/2007, 06:22 PM
...didn't get the humor of "The Family Guy" season premiere last night.
ClintonSooner
9/24/2007, 06:33 PM
...Thinks the "over 1 ounce of Mary-J is illegal In Colorado." is just too harsh
Sooner_Havok
9/24/2007, 06:35 PM
...loves his Flowbee, and can't think of a better use for $59.99
http://www.csdl.tamu.edu/~marshall/flowbee.jpg
kevpks
9/24/2007, 07:06 PM
...loves his Flowbee, and can't think of a better use for $59.99
http://www.csdl.tamu.edu/~marshall/flowbee.jpg
"Turn it off man, turn it off! It's sucking my will to live! Oh, the humanity!"
---Garth
Sooner_Havok
9/24/2007, 08:13 PM
...is to busy trolling the world of warcraft boards to plan for his next game.
freshchris05
9/24/2007, 08:36 PM
...has jared zabransky on his fantasy team
...has a baby arm
...woke up in the crying game and only stopped to change positions
SoonerKnight
9/24/2007, 09:05 PM
Thinks his running game is going to beat Oklahoma.........it was in the paper today..........
...understands what it's like when a child goes home and someone says he's fat.
...took the Colorado job for the good tree, not wins...man...*cough*cough*
Sooner_Havok
9/24/2007, 11:59 PM
...read this thread and went crying to Gumby
...is suing the Pukes because "Greatest Offense in the World" was his idea.
Sooner_Havok
9/25/2007, 12:05 AM
...thinks Jennie Carlson is hot!
kevpks
9/25/2007, 12:08 AM
Thinks his running game is going to beat Oklahoma.........it was in the paper today..........
Wow...just wow. Yeah we really suck against the run.:rolleyes:
...doesn't see anything wrong with being hand fed by your mom, even at his age.
Sooner_Havok
9/25/2007, 12:17 AM
...ate a mother of children
tommieharris91
9/25/2007, 12:19 AM
...makes fun of college kids playing intermurals.
...takes notes during Mark May's college game day segments.
Sooner_Havok
9/25/2007, 12:41 AM
...took elocution lessons from Lou Holtz
goingoneight
9/25/2007, 12:54 AM
... thinks Lou Holtz and Bob Davie should cover more OU games. :mad:
goingoneight
9/25/2007, 12:55 AM
... makes me wanna puke! [hairGel]
Crucifax Autumn
9/25/2007, 01:01 AM
...Is gonna get paddled!
goingoneight
9/25/2007, 01:11 AM
... is a father of children. One being an amateur athlete.
Crucifax Autumn
9/25/2007, 01:14 AM
...Is gonna find out that Tulsa has a way better team than him!
Crucifax Autumn
9/25/2007, 01:15 AM
...Sneaks into Ralphie's stable nightly.
Crucifax Autumn
9/25/2007, 01:15 AM
...Tastes like chicken
Crucifax Autumn
9/25/2007, 01:16 AM
Faced a lot of protestors when he spoke at Columbia University today.
limey_sooner
9/25/2007, 05:54 AM
...still believes Spinal Tap was a real band
r5TPsooner
9/25/2007, 07:42 AM
Dips Copenhagen.
sanantoniosooner
9/25/2007, 11:48 AM
Stripped the logo off the intramural team.
... was despondent for days after Colorado fired Ward Churchill.
The_Red_Patriot
9/25/2007, 04:09 PM
Wishes he was still filming Blue Chips
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0007KIFLE.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
birddog
9/25/2007, 04:31 PM
forgets which soda can he's spitting in and which one he's drinking.
nBoSTP
9/26/2007, 09:39 AM
Thinks she was a great kicker.
http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2004/US/Central/02/18/colorado.football/story.vert.hnida.ap.jpg
stoops the eternal pimp
9/26/2007, 10:07 AM
has his wife as an assistant coach to feed their son chicken between plays.
Jason White's Third Knee
9/26/2007, 10:23 AM
...vehemently denies that he engaged in nepotism stating, “Under no circumstances would I ever have sex with a dead person.”
birddog
9/26/2007, 10:59 AM
just bought a gold and black rubber face protector for his swatch watch.
XFollower
9/26/2007, 12:00 PM
lets his momma feed him chicken before games
XFollower
9/26/2007, 12:28 PM
Thinks Sam Bradford is from Eight is Enough
http://feat.putfile.com/profilepics/main/2/landthief-48268132201.jpg
fadada1
9/26/2007, 12:43 PM
thinks jenni carlson uses sound sentence structure.
really.
it's good.
XFollower
9/27/2007, 01:24 PM
is living large with enzite
XFollower
9/27/2007, 01:26 PM
hopes bob davie commentates the game this week so know one watching on TV will no that OU is kicking their butt
Boomer.....
9/27/2007, 01:40 PM
...passes out Sonic mints for Halloween.
humblesooner
9/27/2007, 04:31 PM
Is Jerry Glanville's long lost bastard son.
SoonerBOI
9/27/2007, 04:48 PM
does not read the newspaper. A cousin of Mike Gundy...
birddog
9/27/2007, 04:50 PM
keeps a comb in his back pocket.
douxpaysan
9/27/2007, 09:13 PM
Fire, skillet, pressure cooker...your choicehttp://bargainoffers.com/cookware/cooker/hawkins_15_l.jpegl
CatfishSooner
9/27/2007, 09:23 PM
wants to make colorado's mascot "The Hawks"........
Crucifax Autumn
9/27/2007, 10:37 PM
...has genital warts
goingoneight
9/27/2007, 10:58 PM
... calls his son the "Hawkster."
... lights his farts without any pants on. :eek:
... offended many Boise Broncos with his "intramurals" comment.
... called in a luncheon from KFC for 11:00Am Saturday.
Crucifax Autumn
9/27/2007, 11:04 PM
...wishes he had a mullet
hOlden caUlfield...
9/27/2007, 11:31 PM
was hilarious in dumb and dumber.
now:
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r222/mcfearless86/hawkpressconf.jpg
and then:
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r222/mcfearless86/jim_carrey.jpg
Crucifax Autumn
9/27/2007, 11:41 PM
...Isn't gonna enjoy his prostate exam Saturday
...watches OU games on television to get his Notre Dame news update. :mad:
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:20 AM
LOL
...had his Bee Gees collection stolen and called mack brown asking him to tell the thieves to give it back.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:37 AM
...was 2-10 last year
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:40 AM
...is 2 days from his biggest defeat ever.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:40 AM
...Smokes pole
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:41 AM
...has a secret crush on Al Sharpton
birddog
9/28/2007, 12:41 AM
has a raging Afrin nasal spray addiction.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:45 AM
...regularly coughs up hairballs...and it's buffalo hair.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:46 AM
...Has a raging Ben Gay addiction
birddog
9/28/2007, 12:46 AM
will be adding to the $3 billion-a-year adult diaper industry on saturday.
SanDiegoSoonerGal
9/28/2007, 12:49 AM
IS A MAN! HE'S 40!
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 12:51 AM
...Uses roid cream as chap stick
goingoneight
9/28/2007, 01:10 AM
... was about 12 games and a few superstar athletes away from a National Championship last year.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 01:16 AM
...Can burp the theme to Greatest American Hero
goingoneight
9/28/2007, 01:18 AM
... and fart the OSU fight song.
Oh, wait... that's an Ipod playing the song... my bad.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 01:19 AM
That's no Ipod, that's a reel to reel!
goingoneight
9/28/2007, 01:23 AM
... thinks the SEC champion could win the NFC Champeenship.
Crucifax Autumn
9/28/2007, 01:26 AM
...Usually gets stinkpalmed by opposing coaches after the game.
BigDeezy
9/28/2007, 09:01 AM
likes to be seen "in the buff".
Desert Sapper
9/28/2007, 09:25 AM
...is a little bummed out that he doesn't get three weeks off in the summer because he coaches DIVISION I FOOTBALL! IN THE BIG XII! so he's going to start coaching intramurals.
People respect gimmick offenses and trick plays in intramurals, brother.
TheHumanAlphabet
9/28/2007, 09:57 AM
Thinks a bowl is a good haircut guide.
illinisooner
9/28/2007, 10:36 AM
...thinks Ron Burgundy is a real person.
TexSooner000
9/28/2007, 11:46 AM
Is a homo
....thinks his predecessor's "have sex with my daughter" recruiting campaign was actually a pretty good idea.
BoomerJack
9/28/2007, 01:38 PM
..doesn't refrigerate after opening.
Mrs.oumartin
9/28/2007, 01:41 PM
Likes to have his wife fart into his mouth so his cheeks inflate.
CincySooner
9/28/2007, 02:59 PM
... showers in his swimming trunks.
BoomerGirl34
9/28/2007, 08:22 PM
...has the same hair as my nine year old son, only poofier.
illinisooner
9/28/2007, 08:26 PM
...wants to be like Kevin O'Shea.
...is sick of you soonerfans bedowngrading him in this thread!
OUinFLA
9/28/2007, 10:58 PM
what is bed own grading?
BoomerSooner07
9/28/2007, 11:15 PM
:les: Will play any sucker in this country!
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:49 AM
...Thinks Taco Bell is authentic Mexican food.
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:50 AM
...Is a big fan of Hannah Montana
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:51 AM
...spoons with ralphie
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:51 AM
...Thinks Jar Jar Binks would make a great wide receiver
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:53 AM
...Picked out his Halloween costume today. He's gonna be Moe from the Three Stooges.
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:55 AM
...Is considering joining NAMBLA.
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 01:56 AM
...Is considering borrowing Gumby's hair gel to improve his offense
illinisooner
9/29/2007, 02:27 AM
...thought Brianna Scurry over Hope Solo was a brilliant coaching decision.
Crucifax Autumn
9/29/2007, 02:32 AM
...Scratches his balls with a razor blade
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