On Friday, I'm going to pour sugar into the team plane's gas tank.

[the_edge]

Why, do you ask?

Because OU has no prayer against the Ducks. If you don't don't believe me, feast your eyes on these dire truths.

Remember last year's Holiday Bowl? It was a total sandbag job by Oregon. They could have won easily, but prefered to allow OU to "escape" and lull the Sooners into a false sense of superiority going into the game in 2006. If the Ducks had given their full effort, the bowl would have been a massacre in their favor.

Gary Crowton is the end-all-be-all genius of the spread offense. Forget his failure as the head coach of BYU, he tanked for the Mormons on purpose so that he could land the OC job for the Ducks. He's focused his entire offseason into abusing Brent Venables' defense.

Jonathan Stewart is the best running back in the history of college football. He's the second coming of Barry Sanders, Tony Dorsett, Herschel Walker, Jim Brown, and Walter Payton combined. If he had beaten out Whitehead last year, he would have run for 3,000 yards. He will run for 3,000 yards this season. His "ankle sprain" last week was just so that he could get two weeks rest before the OU game. He'll outrush AD by 400 yards on Saturday.

Oh, that Autzen stadium. The loudest sounds ever to be heard by man's ears have emanated from that venue. Acoustical engineers have estimated that the sound pressure level at the game on Saturday might break the 185 dB barrier, which would be a world record for any type of sound, let alone a crowd at a football game. OU will have at least 16 false starts on every drive because of this.

This all adds up to a woodshed beating by the Ducks. I'm not sure it could possibly be worse even if Ditka were their coach.

So, to save our team from the 416-0 beating that is awaiting them in Eugene, I'm going to disable the team's plane.

You can thank me on Sunday when our players are still alive.

[SoonerJason]

LOL!

[picasso]

does Bellotti lift weights too? if so then we're ****ed.

[RacerX]

They've been running wind sprints!

[Soonerus]

I have trouble even uttering the word "Ducks" without some level of laughter...

[KingDavid]

Why, do you ask?

Because OU has no prayer against the Ducks. If you don't don't believe me, feast your eyes on these dire truths.

Remember last year's Holiday Bowl? It was a total sandbag job by Oregon. They could have won easily, but prefered to allow OU to "escape" and lull the Sooners into a false sense of superiority going into the game in 2006. If the Ducks had given their full effort, the bowl would have been a massacre in their favor.

Gary Crowton is the end-all-be-all genius of the spread offense. Forget his failure as the head coach of BYU, he tanked for the Mormons on purpose so that he could land the OC job for the Ducks. He's focused his entire offseason into abusing Brent Venables' defense.

Jonathan Stewart is the best running back in the history of college football. He's the second coming of Barry Sanders, Tony Dorsett, Herschel Walker, Jim Brown, and Walter Payton combined. If he had beaten out Whitehead last year, he would have run for 3,000 yards. He will run for 3,000 yards this season. His "ankle sprain" last week was just so that he could get two weeks rest before the OU game. He'll outrush AD by 400 yards on Saturday.

Oh, that Auzten stadium. The loudest sounds ever to be heard by man's ears have emanated from that venue. Acoustical engineers have estimated that the sound pressure level at the game on Saturday might break the 185 dB barrier, which would be a world record for any type of sound, let alone a crowd at a football game. OU will have at least 16 false starts on every drive because of this.

This all adds up to a woodshed beating by the Ducks. I'm not sure it could possibly be worse even if Ditka were their coach.

So, to save our team from the 416-0 beating that is awaiting them in Eugene, I'm going to disable the team's plane.

You can thank me on Sunday when our players are still alive.

I think we have a good chance of winning, man. You're a real pessimist, you know?

And if you do that to the plane, that could get you into a LOT of trouble. That kind of stuff is illegal, dude. I mean, like, unlawful, punishment stuff.

Awfully stupid of you to post that here because EVERYONE WILL KNOW IT WAS YOU.

And for that matter, how do you think you're going to get to the plane, you silly pessimist?






:cool:

[soonerhubs]

he tanked for the Mormons on purpose so that he could land the OC job for the Ducks.


Always gotta bring the Mormons into it don't we? :cool:

[Ash]

does Bellotti lift weights too? if so then we're ****ed.

Don't know, but he shaved the 'stache.

I'm skeered.

[tbl]

Terrorist....

[Readyfor8]

I was really confident two days ago, but now I'm not so sure. I worry that I have crimson colored glasses on, and that the media, the opposing teams coaches, and the duck fans are right, Oregon could win this one.

I mean sure they gave up 150+ yards to a Running Back who only got 183 yards 2 years ago and didn't play a down last year. Sure they gave up big special teams plays that almost lost the game for them. Sure they had to win the game with a trick play.

We are playing in the 3rd or 4th loudest stadium on our schedule this year. We are doomed I tell you, doomed!

[PDXsooner]

never mind, i thought crowton was gone, i was thinking of ludwig

[4everasooner]

Our players will all be dead. Sugar will not disable the plane until full throttle is in service, aka "take off". The plane will crash and leave OU with no team at all. I will hunt you down and make you my slave, never will you see the light of day again. You will be whored out in SF and many other places until I'm satisfied with my punishment; not to mention shock, leechies, and acid treatments. When I am finished whit you, you will be turned over to soonerfans.com. at this time I will forget I have ever known your sorry A*S. Have a nice day!

[Readyfor8]

Our players will all be dead. Sugar will not disable the plane until full throttle is in service, aka "take off". The plane will crash and leave OU with no team at all. I will hunt you down and make you my slave, never will you see the light of day again. You will be whored out in SF and many other places until I'm satisfied with my punishment; not to mention shock, leechies, and acid treatments. When I am finished whit you, you will be turned over to soonerfans.com. at this time I will forget I have ever known your sorry A*S. Have a nice day!

This is not true, everyone knows pilots of civilian aircraft are required to do a "run-up" before taking off. This is where a plane with breaks applied goes to full throttle and then backs down.

It's part of the pre-flight checklist.

[leavingthezoo]

is a sacred duck more powerful than a sacred cow?

if so, we're DOOMED.

[jackietreehorn]

I will hunt you down and make you my slave, never will you see the light of day again. You will be whored out in SF and many other places until I'm satisfied with my punishment; not to mention shock, leechies, and acid treatments. When I am finished whit you, you will be turned over to soonerfans.com. at this time I will forget I have ever known your sorry A*S. Have a nice day!


It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

[47straight]

They have a closer relationship with Nike than we do.

I was in middle school once, where I learned that the kid with the more exclusive Nike stuff is obviously better.

We're screwed.

[Miko]

I was bummed about the no HD thing, until I learned on this here board, that I can just go out on my front porch here in houston and HEAR the game!! (We usually hang out on the back patio, which faces south. That must be why I never noticed the sound of Autzen before!)

[BOOMERBRADLEY]

Robo duck is actually an assassin in a clever diguise.

Dixon will shank our players whenever they try and tackle him.