This is not a light thread.

[Ike]

If you were hoping to see some of my usual light hearted banter here, turn away. This is not one of those threads. This is also not a political thread, or a science thread or a gay thread or really any other kind of thread I typically post.
This most certainly is not a happy thread. I'm really only posting this because I consider a great number of you to be about as close to being friends as one can have over the innerweb, and to avoid some awkwardness later on.


Today the Missus and I went in for her regular doctors appointment to check on the status of her pregnancy. Since by now you can probably all see where this is going, I'll just fast forward through the details. This was supposed to be the appointment where we got to hear the babys heartbeat for the first time. Only we didnt. Not with the doppler, not with the ultrasound, not with nuthin.

Yeah, we understand that this kind of thing is common. But like just about everyone else I suppose, we thought, "oh, that only happens to other people...we're doing everything right" (well, OK, SHE was doing everything right....I had not yet fully kicked my cancer-stick habit). Not that any of that really mattered I suppose. The early stages of life are so fragile that all manner of crazy things can cause it to just give up before it ever really gets started, or to not really have any chance at all right out of the starting gate.

Anyway, I mainly just wanted to let y'all know that, at least this time, its just not gonna happen. I was all excited about it, and came boasting about my awesomeness of being a fully fledged procreation machine, and now we have learned that the first go at it just isn't meant to be. Not to worry of course because there will be many more attempts in the future.

For those that are concerned, Missus Ike is doin OK now. We had a good cry together when we learned the news, but I took her out for steaks and wine and ice cream and made sure to drive the point home to her that this is in no way, shape, or form, her fault. This is just the way **** happens some of the time. We're ok with that now and are moving on.


Oh, and Homey and JK and the rest of you who have been trying to keep me straight with quitting smoking....this doesn't change anything as far as that is concerned. except for today. we both smoked like chimneys at dinner with the understanding that that was it, for good.

[OCUDad]

Sorry, Ike. And regards to Mrs. Ike. Here's to a happy story next time.

[skycat]

I feel for you. It's only been about a year since my wife and I were making that same trip to the doctor, and I have no idea how awful it must be to have that experience turn bad.

There's really not much I can say, that you haven't covered already. As I'm sure you know, much of the time when it goes this way, it does so for a reason. Whether it's a spiritual or biological or whatever, it's still a reason.

My best to you and your wife.

[Scott D]

that news sucks Ike...condolances to you and Mrs. Ike.

[GottaHavePride]

Argh. This sucks. PEEM sent, Ike.

[Hatfield]

sorry to hear about your loss

[proud gonzo]

sorry to hear about that, Ike

[leavingthezoo]

:(

[yermom]

i'm so sorry Ike

[Tailwind]

Sucks, Hurts. So sorry. My best to you and Mrs ike.

[bri]

Condolences to you both. :(

[royalfan5]

I feel bad for y'all and I wish you good luck in the future.

[BeetDigger]

Sorry Ike and Mrs. Ike.

[Mixer!]

Terrible news. Good luck & best wishes for the future.

[Frozen Sooner]

Ike, I feel terribly for you and the missus. Shoot me a call if you need to talk late at night. I'm back of you three hours and stay up late anyhow.

[PhxSooner]

:( Very sorry for you and Mrs. Ike.

[Ike]

Since Im already being totally honest here....(and I'm a bit drunk)


Its really wierd the way this all feels. We've both been taking it in turns to feel a profound sense of loss, then not much of anything at all, then the feeling that we are going to be stronger in our marriage because of this, and finally feeling bad that we don't feel worse about it. In other words, we're still on that emotional roller coaster....up and down we go. I reckon it'll go off and on for the next few days.

Logically, we know that it probably wasn't our fault. Still, we keep searching for things we should have done different. We tell ourselves that it wasn't meant to be, but I don't know if either of us really believe that yet.

Anyway, thanks y'all for listening and caring. It really warms our hearts to know that you care.

[Jimminy Crimson]

Sorry to hear, Ike. :(

I've had friends and family go through the same thing. Its funny how life works. Stay strong and keep tryin! When it happens it will be even more special.

Take care, buddy.

[12]

Sorry, Ike.

[usmc-sooner]

Sorry to hear, Ike

[BoogercountySooner]

Hang in there IKe you all are in my prayers!

[TUSooner]

Sorry to learn it, Ike. But it sounds like you and Mrs Ike are facing it in a very honest and courageous way. Peace and blessings to you both.

[RacerX]

My deepest condolences.

[jk the sooner fan]

aww man :(

ike - so sorry to hear this......hang in there bud

[Harry Beanbag]

Sorry Ike, and good luck on future tries.

[Okla-homey]

Sorry to hear it...and FWIW, the cigs had nuttin' to do with it so don't beat yourselves up about that. As you know, sometimes these things just happen for unexplained reasons. Hang in there and you guys have been prayed for this morning.

[Sooner24]

Wow, that is so sad. My prayers are with you and your wife.

[whatsername]

Sorry to hear this Ike. :( Condolences to both of you.

[Fugue]

I'm really sorry Ike, my thoughts and prayers are with both of you.

[Viking Kitten]

Sorry to hear this. :( The Soonerovs are thinking about you too.

[Sooner in Tampa]

Ike...I cannot begin to fathom the depth of your loss. I can only pass along my condolences to you and the Mrs.

[crawfish]

Sorry about that, man. You're definitely not alone - it happened to us, and it was pretty tough to go through.

[sooner_born_1960]

Ike, the wife and I went through the exact same thing the first time "we" were pregnant. We have since produced two beautiful daughters. Sometimes things just don't go right. Hang in there, the both of you.

[Howzit]

So sorry, Ike. I've been through the same thing and understand how your feeling. Keep the positive thoughts for the next time.

[IB4OU2]

My condolences Ike, you and the Mrs. Ike are in my prayers.

[Miko]

My condolences Ike, you and the Mrs. Ike are in my prayers.

Ours too. Hang in there.

[SoonerJack]

I have a friend who's a gyno and he says that it's a miracle that any babies are born. There are just so many things that have to happen before the birth occurs. That said, I know how you feel. My wife and I lost our second child about a month into the pregnancy. It was a very trying time for both of us. Lots of hugging and not sayin' much. You can't fix it so you just have to be there. It will get better.

[toast]

Sorry to hear this. We lost our's 1 week before the due date. It is a bad day for sure, but there will be better ones ahead. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

:(

[colleyvillesooner]

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/1919/frownqk6.png

[Soonrboy]

Sorry man...I remember that pain from when we went through it too...My wife still has a special ornament she hangs on the christmas tree every year just to remember it.

[OUDoc]

I have a friend who's a gyno and he says that it's a miracle that any babies are born. There are just so many things that have to happen before the birth occurs.
That's true. Amazing how many different things have to go exactly right, especially at the beginning of pregnancy, usually before you even figure out that she's pregnant. As they say, it wasn't meant to be this time. I know that really doesn't help. Sorry about the bad news, Ike.:(

[hurricane'bone]

dang. sorry man.

[slickdawg]

Ike, it's very sad to hear this. My thoughts and prayers to you
and your wife - it's a very tough thing to go through.

[Osce0la]

I am sorry for both of you. I remember the first time we went in to hear our baby's heart beat for the first time, it took them several minutes to finally find it. After they had been searching for a little bit you could see both of us getting very nervous and scared. I hate this for you, and will keep you and Mrs. Ike in our prayers. It will happen for the two of you, and it will be the greatest joy of your life when it does.

[GDC]

I feel for you Ike, and I can relate. I once heard the heartbeat of one of mine early on, and a week later it wasn't there anymore. It's impossible to understand how this feels if one hasn't experienced it. Hang in there.

[goodonya]

Ike, very sorry for your loss.

My wife went through five misfires between kid #1 and kid #2 over a 5 year period. After the 3rd failure she wanted to quit. I refused to let her get down or allow her to blame herself which I guess just comes naturally. After the 4th she was inconsolable but I refused to give in. Finally kid #2 comes 6-years later and all is good. Kid #3 came 3-years later on the first try. All three are upstanding citizens.

My point is that though this is crushing now, time and faith will heal the seemingly unhealable (sp?) wounds. Y'all are in my prayers.

[Norm In Norman]

Sorry about that. It sucks that good folks like you guys have something like that happen and then crack whores shoot babies out like it was target practice. My brother and his wife lost a couple too, but now how have 2 perfectly healthy daughters. It will happen for you guys too.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Sorry to hear this. :(

[NormanPride]

Terrible news... :(

Ike, I was my parents' third try. Both prior tries were immensely painful for my parents, but they kept going. Now I'm 24 and they're sick of me. ;) Keep your head up, man. Think positive, have faith, and everything will be fine!

[Tear Down This Wall]

Prayer for you and the missus, Ike. This thing happend to my mom. It also happened to one of my best friends last year. Keep trying and keep the faith.

[handcrafted]

Ike, this is a sad situation to be sure. One that I have not had to deal with. Perhaps God knows that I could not deal with it as well as you and Mrs. Ike have. We never get a burden we can't handle, y'know, though it sucks at the time. :(

Tell you what, though. The responses of the posters in this thread gives me hope for the entire SO. :)

[SCOUT]

Sorry for your loss Ike. You and Mrs. Ike are in my prayers.

[Ike]

Thank you, all of you. Really. Knowing that you all care means a lot. Knowing that many of you have gone through, or known someone that has gone through similar situations and come out alright means a lot too. Seriously, I can't begin to describe how much better you have made us feel, and how much Mrs. Ike and I appreciate your comments.

[colleyvillesooner]

No problem! You're our super smart, "I have no idea what he's ever talking about", buddy. :D

My mom lost one before she had me and look how I turned out! I have 14,000+ posts on a message board!

Wait, that probably doesn't help...;)

[SoonerBorn68]

Ike, sorry to hear about your and Mrs. Ike's loss. Mrs. '68 lost what was going to be our first. It was a tough time. She'll need you.

Hang in there. On the positive side I've got 2 wonderful daughters & a mischevious son now.

[BigRedJed]

Really sorry to hear it Ike. FWIW, my mom lost three pregnancies, two before me and one after, and I still have 10 fingers and 10 toes, and turned out pretty well (depending on who you talk to). It happens sometimes, and I can't imagine how tough it is, but don't feel defeated.

[sooner n houston]

Sorry about that, man. You're definitely not alone - it happened to us, and it was pretty tough to go through.

Yea, me too!

When the next one came though, Wow, what a kid! Y'all's time will come.

God bless.

[LosAngelesSooner]

I'm really, truly, deeply sorry for you.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

[Cam]

Sorry to hear that man.

[Dio]

Damn. Sorry, Ike.

[TopDawg]

Man, Ike, I'm so sorry for you and your wife.

[OUHOMER]

Man I hate to hear this. I am sorry for your loss