Scooter Cannonball

[BigRedJed]

My boy JD left yesterday for Portland Oregon, where he'll start the Cannonball Run (http://www.scootercannonball.com/) for scooters. On the last run, in 2004, he came in second, and would have won had he not wrecked in Memphis. He was on a 145 cc Bajaj for that trip. I have a special fondness for that bike, as that is the one that started me scootering. I rode it for months before I bought my current scooter.

This year, he's in the twist and go category on a brand new Vespa GTS 250. The bike is awesome. I rode it here, before he had it shipped to Portland. It'll do around 80-85 MPH is quick and extremely comfortable.

The race is staged, like the Tour de France. He is coordinating the one in 2008, which he intends to route from Alaska to Key West, and intends to run unstaged, with few rules.

You can check out his website, which he will be updating during the race, here (http://www.centralspeedworks.com).

The race begins Sunday.

[Frozen Sooner]

Heh. Driving the Alcan on a scooter.

What's the range on one of those things?

[BigRedJed]

Well, the scoot he's racing on will probably get around 65 MPG, with a 2.5 gallon tank. However, he also has a custom-made reserve tank that's probably around 1.5-2 gallons. That's how he did so well with the underpowered Bajaj last time. He was racing against guys who had souped theirs up beyond belief, but had no reserve and had to stop very often. He was like the tortoise racing the hare.

This time he'll have to rely more on his racing skills, and less on exploiting equipment differences. He still should do very well; he's raced motorcylces since he was a tot. He's pretty well-versed with Vespas too. In case you didn't notice, he's president of the Vespa Club of America.

My scoot gets about 80 MPG with a 2 gallon tank. Quite a departure from my other vehicle, a Ford Super Crew F-150 4x4 Lariat with a 5.4L V8. Ironically, the scooter actually costs me personally more to drive, because I fuel my truck with a company gas card.

[C&CDean]

Well, the scoot he's racing on will probably get around 65 MPG, with a 2.5 gallon tank. However, he also has a custom-made reserve tank that's probably around 1.5-2 gallons. That's how he did so well with the underpowered Bajaj last time. He was racing against guys who had souped theirs up beyond belief, but had no reserve and had to stop very often. He was like the tortoise racing the hare.

This time he'll have to rely more on his racing skills, and less on exploiting equipment differences. He still should do very well; he's raced motorcylces since he was a tot. He's pretty well-versed with Vespas too. In case you didn't notice, he's president of the Vespa Club of America.

My scoot gets about 80 MPG with a 2 gallon tank. Quite a departure from my other vehicle, a Ford Super Crew F-150 4x4 Lariat with a 5.4L V8. Ironically, the scooter actually costs me personally more to drive, because I fuel my truck with a company gas card.

The GQ in this post is completely, 150% off the scale.

It's like not only coming out of the closet, it's like coming out of the closet driving a Sherman tank. NTTAWWT.

[JohnnyMack]

The GQ in this post is completely, 150% off the scale.

It's like not only coming out of the closet, it's like coming out of the closet driving a Sherman tank. NTTAWWT.

A pink Sherman. Blaring Justin Timberlake no less.

[BigRedJed]

If scooting is wrong, I don't want to be right.

[C&CDean]

Scooting? Jed, Jed, Jed, where did me and your mother go wrong?

[BigRedJed]

I wish I knew how to quit scootering.


Wait a minute. No I don't.

[BigRedJed]

Before this season is over, I am going to ride my scoot to a tailgate. I am going to let you take it for a spin around the block, and then I will gladly tell you where to get one, since you will be begging me to do so.

And the best part is, even if you don't, we will have photographic evidence of you sitting on a scooter.

[BigRedJed]

Grinning from ear to ear. Mark it down.

[C&CDean]

Dude, just so you know, I've ridden pretty much everything that's been made on two wheels. My first wife's father had a 50cc scooter when I was in high school. I wrecked it jumping it over their mailbox. I've ridden honda mini-trails, trail 70s, trail 90s, Hodakas, Bultacos, Montessas, Ossas, Husqvuarnas, CZs, BSAs, Triumphs, Nortons, and every Japanese make. I've ridden Harleys for the better part of my life.

And in all seriousness, I go by this motto:

Riding a Vethpa is like ****ing a fag. It feels good, but you sure as hell don't want anybody to see you.

[BigRedJed]

Dude, just so you know, I've ridden pretty much everything that's been made on two wheels. My first wife's father had a 50cc scooter when I was in high school. I wrecked it jumping it over their mailbox. I've ridden honda mini-trails, trail 70s, trail 90s, Hodakas, Bultacos, Montessas, Ossas, Husqvuarnas, CZs, BSAs, Triumphs, Nortons, and every Japanese make. I've ridden Harleys for the better part of my life.

And in all seriousness, I go by this motto:

Riding a Vethpa is like ****ing a fag. It feels good, but you sure as hell don't want anybody to see you.
OK, I've always heard "fat girls" substituted for "fag." I can attest to my version, but frankly, I'm guessing ****ing a fag woudn't feel good, at least for me.

And dude, my scooter's no 50cc Sears special. You mentioned a lot of machines, but you still didn't answer the question: do you know the joy of riding a Vespa?!?!

[C&CDean]

You mentioned a lot of machines, but you still didn't answer the question: do you know the joy of riding a Vespa?!?!

I don't know the joy of smoking pole either.

But if you don't mind riding around on a death machine - looking pothitively fabulouth - go ahead on. It takes four fingers AND a thumb to make a hand.

[BigRedJed]

Well, I'm not denying that I look fabulouth when I'm riding.

[BigRedJed]

And you will too. Flip flops and all.

[C&CDean]

Some of us can even make a Vethpa look manly......

[BigRedJed]

Some of us can even make a Vethpa look manly......
See? I'm one of those people!

[ultimatesooner1]

The race is staged, like the Tour de France. He is coordinating the one in 2008, which he intends to route from Alaska to Key West, and intends to run unstaged, with few rules.



holy ****e, I don't know if I could do that in an airplane

and I saw a vespa w/ a sidecar off of NW expressway the other day. I wanted to take a pic and post it on here but I didn't have a camera and it was too far away for my phone

[Frozen Sooner]

OK, I'm going to give you a hint:

If he's going on the Alcan with only a 240 mile range or so, he better either pack some extra fuel or be prepared to walk. Depending on when in the season he's driving, there's 300 mile stretches with no gas stations open.

[BigRedJed]

I'm pretty sure he'll factor that in. In fact, he'll probably make it a part of his strategy. He's crafty like that.

[BigRedJed]

He'll just need a bigger version of this:

http://scoot.net/gallery/2006/07/amerivespa/Wisconsin_Pete/small_AmerivespaKegger2.jpg

[BigRedJed]

Or this...

http://scoot.net/gallery/2006/07/amerivespa/Wisconsin_Pete/small_AmerivespaKegger.jpg

[Czar Soonerov]

Or this...

http://scoot.net/gallery/2006/07/amerivespa/Wisconsin_Pete/small_AmerivespaKegger.jpg

Is that where you keep your beer?

[Frozen Sooner]

Nah, you keep your weeeed in HERE!

Cool. Just make sure he's aware of the problem. That's a call you don't want to get, especially since I'm not sure how he'd make it without a sattelite phone...

"Er, dad, can you pick me up? I ran out of gas."

"Where are you?"

"Somewhere between Tok and Deadhorse...."

[BigRedJed]

These things are actually pretty well organized. Support vehicles, dozens of riders, some of them international, GPS, etc. They plan them for two years before they do them. It's not just a couple of guys going "I dare you to ride this far..."

He is actually fully sponsored, clear down to a free, brand new bike, furnished by Vespa of Oklahoma.

[1stTimeCaller]

do you ever have any Japanese guys that try to watch 'Behind the Green Door' while they are racing their scooter?

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Your boy JD is such a bastard...

[BigRedJed]

Yeah, but he's MY bastard.