View Full Version : Story of the Day
Me and Mrs. Mongo were at her weekly visit with the OBGYN. We were in the waiting room when I had to go to the restroom. I went, and came back into the waiting room, Mrs. Mongo was called back while I was gone. I walk back to where the rooms are and ask a couple of nurses which room my wife is in. They paused not recognizing the name. Then I say the "big ol' pregnant girl" while doing a hand gesture around the belly. They point me to a room and say she just went in.
I open up the door. All I see is a big ol' gal who is not my wife with, what I believe, a doctor elbow deep. The lady didnt even scream, she just had a deer in the headlights look. It took me about three seconds to register what was going on before I shut the door.
But I thank God that that the exam tables are arranged in a way that all whooskerdoos are pointed away from the door.
That is all.
BoogercountySooner
9/6/2006, 09:19 PM
Did she say "It is yours Senior"?
whooskerdoos? :confused:
Lady parts
Tailwind
9/6/2006, 10:01 PM
So when you gonna be a daddy?
So when you gonna be a daddy?
Dont know. Depends on Mrs Mongo's blood pressure. Mongo Jr. is growing and is healthy, but depends on momma's BP. Original date was Nov. 2nd, but may be the first week in October. Every time we go in, it is a new date.
Tailwind
9/6/2006, 11:07 PM
Well, I hope it's soon. Hope all goes well with the birth.
Well, I hope it's soon. Hope all goes well with the birth.
Thanks. I am ready too. I am tired of all the nesting the mother hen is doing for the preparation:D
Tailwind
9/7/2006, 12:28 AM
I know, but it's just how it is. Your life is about to be changed forever. :D
SicEmBaylor
9/7/2006, 12:57 AM
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
Drop the Zima and the political talk, and many other things may surprise you.
Eddie Money
9/7/2006, 03:10 AM
That definitely was the story of the day. The doc didn't take his hand out and point to another room, did he?
My buddy in college had a dad who was an OBGYN in Talledega County, Al. How'd you like that client list?
Drop the Zima and the political talk, and many other things may surprise you.
To be fair, children that aren't your own are kinda teh succ.
BoogercountySooner
9/7/2006, 03:23 AM
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
Have one and you will see!
Skysooner
9/7/2006, 07:41 AM
If she calls you papi, head for the hills.
handcrafted
9/7/2006, 08:08 AM
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
Good grief, SicEm, you sound like my sister. :P
I admit I used to not like being around kids. Then I had one, and now I feel all protective n stuff of the little stinkers, even the ones not my own that my kid hangs out with. Don't worry, nobody understands parenthood until it happens to them. Then, you get it. Trust me. But never say never, especially if it's just because you don't get it. If you get married, and you and your wife have a definite solid reason (I mean, other than simple selfishness) for not starting a family, then so be it. But if that's the case, you will never, ever, EVAR, have a clue what you are missing.
Okla-homey
9/7/2006, 08:29 AM
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
If I ever meet your father, I am going to ask him precisely the same question.
Seriously though, people have children because it makes them whole beings. Its one of the main reasons we are on this Earth. Just my opinion mind you, but its kinda overly self-absorbed to choose not to have children if you are otherwise financially and emotionally stable enough for parenting.
sanantoniosooner
9/7/2006, 08:35 AM
Kids really aren't that bad.
They're a little annoying when they can't speak.
And then they are annoying because they wont stop speaking.
And then you can't get them to speak.
And they move out.
Piece of cake.
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
For starters, imagine the love you have for that ugly dog and multiply it times infinity, and you might get close to the love a parent has for a child.
There are many reasons that compell people to have children, or to "speak and interact with them". Before I had my daughter, I always loved being around children. One reason that quickly comes to mind is that they are learning so much all the time. I tought childrens Sunday school for years before my daughter was born, and it was such a blessing to be teaching those young ones about Christ.
Think back when you were a kid. I'm sure somewhere along the line a caring adult had a big influence on your life (or maybe not, thus your line of thinking).
I think it ultimately comes down to selfishness. People that are adamantly opposed to having children (or dead beat dads/moms), are that way b/c they do not want to give up time for themselves. Being a good parent requires significant self sacrifice, and a lot of people are unwilling to give that up. What's a shame is when said selfish people end up having kids, whatever the reason. Then you end up having loser parents like I had.
sanantoniosooner
9/7/2006, 08:46 AM
There are many reasons that compell people to have children
I got tired of looking for the remote.
TUSooner
9/7/2006, 08:58 AM
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
Ask your mother !
KaiserSooner
9/7/2006, 09:14 AM
Just my opinion mind you, but its kinda overly self-absorbed to choose not to have children if you are otherwise financially and emotionally stable enough for parenting.
If couples choose not to have children, it is their business. Certainly, it isn't your place to judge or presume to know their reasons for not having them.
sanantoniosooner
9/7/2006, 09:16 AM
If couples choose not to have children, it is their business. Certainly, it isn't your place to judge or presume to know their reasons for not having them.
It's our job........
It's what we do.........
BeetDigger
9/7/2006, 09:30 AM
It's our job........
It's what we do.........
Liberace sure fell down on that one didn't he? :texan:
If couples choose not to have children, it is their business. Certainly, it isn't your place to judge or presume to know their reasons for not having them.
That's true, but it is our place to post our theories on the matter... I think that homies reason is 100% correct, and I would like somebody else to come up with another reason.
For those people that are too self absorbed to have kids, good for them. Like I said, I just hope there are never any accidents.
OUinFLA
9/7/2006, 10:25 AM
Kids really aren't that bad.
They're a little annoying when they can't speak.
And then they are annoying because they wont stop speaking.
And then you can't get them to speak.
And they move out.
Piece of cake.
not always. Im experiencing a "failure to launch" with my son.
handcrafted
9/8/2006, 11:46 AM
If people choose to be liberals, it is their business. Certainly, it isn't your place to judge or presume to know their reasons for not having any brain cells.
Fixed it for ya. :D
Don't you think the acronym for their profession should spell vagina instead of obgyn?
It would make more sense.
I_SMELL_FEAR
9/8/2006, 12:53 PM
Well, its not like there is a shortage of kids, and there is definately not a shortage of kids with crappy parents that dont take proper care of them or take the time to discipline them to not be total turds. If someone chooses to not have kids, thats fine with me...even if it is selfish reasons behind it. You have one shot at this world, and if you both feel you dont want kids, and that makes you happy, then live on.
I thought for 13 years of marriage that I didnt want kids, but that all changed.
After 19 months of child-rearing there is NOTHING better or more important to me than my little girl.
Viking Kitten
9/8/2006, 01:17 PM
I got pregnant just for all the OB/GYN visits.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 01:18 PM
I get so ****ed off at hearing that not wanting to have kids is wrong, or selfish. You know what is wrong? People having kids because they think that is what they're supposed to do, without giving any thought to the responsibility of being a parent.
I guarandamntee you that I would be a devoted, responsible, caring parent if I ever were one, because I believe parenting is perhaps the greatest responsibility a human being could ever have. But I am not driven to have kids. As a rule, I think that people who aren't driven to have children, simply put, shouldn't.
The world would be a much better place if only people who really, really wanted kids and really, really saw parenting for the responsibility it is, had them. Having them because your friends have them, or because your parents are pressuring you, or because you're careless in the birth control department, doesn't qualify you to be a parent.
I'm not driven to have kids. I spent most of my adult life being married to another person who adamantly didn't want them, and took the responsibility seriously enough to make sure it didn't happen.
Maybe, someday, I'll end up with someone who is driven to have them. At that point I'll have to make a choice as to whether my desire to be with her is enough to overcome my resistance to being a parent. If that's the choice I make, I'm certain there will be rewards for being a parent that you don't get from being childless.
But, I would be just as happy being with someone else who didn't want children. It's a personal choice, and frankly, many of the people I know who have chosen not to have them have done so with much thought, much more than many of the people who just squirt them out because "that's what everybody does."
In some ways, for some people, it's a very UNSELFISH decision, especially when you consider the constant ration of **** they get from family, "friends," and everyone else who thinks they know what's best for them. And those people, of course, have no problem speaking out about it and condemning someone else's choices.
How dare you judge me for my choice? Maybe you should spend a little more time judging the abusive, neglectful parents of unwanted, casually conceived children and a little less time judging me.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 01:22 PM
And, by unselfish, I mean that instead of buckling to society's pressure, they are consciously choosing not to bring a child into a world where they are not 100% wanted. Doesn't every child deserve to be born only to parents who want them with every fiber of their being?
BlondeSoonerGirl
9/8/2006, 01:23 PM
'Squirt'...
Heh.
jk the sooner fan
9/8/2006, 01:28 PM
reminds me of the story - the couple goes to the fertility clinic to get tested because they're having problems "getting pregnant"
the nurse hands the husband a specimen cup and says "we need a specimen, the bathroom is over there"
he goes in, finds there are no movies, no magazines, no nothing.....he says "so i have to do this from scratch with no help? well ok, anything for my wife"
comes out 30 minutes later, hands it to the nurse who says "sir, we just needed a urine sample"
I get so ****ed off at hearing that not wanting to have kids is wrong, or selfish. You know what is wrong? People having kids because they think that is what they're supposed to do, without giving any thought to the responsibility of being a parent.
I guarandamntee you that I would be a devoted, responsible, caring parent if I ever were one, because I believe parenting is perhaps the greatest responsibility a human being could ever have. But I am not driven to have kids. As a rule, I think that people who aren't driven to have children, simply put, shouldn't.
The world would be a much better place if only people who really, really wanted kids and really, really saw parenting for the responsibility it is, had them. Having them because your friends have them, or because your parents are pressuring you, or because you're careless in the birth control department, doesn't qualify you to be a parent.
I'm not driven to have kids. I spent most of my adult life being married to another person who adamantly didn't want them, and took the responsibility seriously enough to make sure it didn't happen.
Maybe, someday, I'll end up with someone who is driven to have them. At that point I'll have to make a choice as to whether my desire to be with her is enough to overcome my resistance to being a parent. If that's the choice I make, I'm certain there will be rewards for being a parent that you don't get from being childless.
But, I would be just as happy being with someone else who didn't want children. It's a personal choice, and frankly, many of the people I know who have chosen not to have them have done so with much thought, much more than many of the people who just squirt them out because "that's what everybody does."
In some ways, for some people, it's a very UNSELFISH decision, especially when you consider the constant ration of **** they get from family, "friends," and everyone else who thinks they know what's best for them. And those people, of course, have no problem speaking out about it and condemning someone else's choices.
How dare you judge me for my choice? Maybe you should spend a little more time judging the abusive, neglectful parents of unwanted, casually conceived children and a little less time judging me.
AMEN! I wholeheartedly agree as this is the choice my wife and I have made together. Thank you for saving me from having to type the exact same thing. BRAVO!
handcrafted
9/8/2006, 02:06 PM
Okay, Spray and Jed are off the hook, because they're such turds that nobody would want them for a father.
SicEm, OTOH, is still on the hook. Just 'cuz he's SicEm. :D
I keed, I keed, of course
BlondeSoonerGirl
9/8/2006, 02:10 PM
The only reason I'd have one nowadays is if I forgot to go to the grocery store or something.
Call me selfish but I gotta eat, yo.
The better half and I waited quite a while to have kids. I'm 40 and we have a 4.5 and a 1+.
The amount of crap people say to you when you're married and not having litters is unbelievable. Rude, insensitive, nosey *** bull****. My suggestion to all of you pro-everybody-reproducing people is to STFU.
The better half and I waited quite a while to have kids. I'm 40 and we have a 4.5 and a 1+.
The amount of crap people say to you when you're married and not having litters is unbelievable. Rude, insensitive, nosey *** bull****. My suggestion to all of you pro-everybody-reproducing people is to STFU.
just remember that if everybody reproduced like bunnies, this country would probably look like a lot of third world countries.
The way I see this whole discussion over the choice (or non-choice) to reproduce or not reproduce is that most people tend to think that people not like themselves are either stupid or selfish. They don't tend to think there might be sound reasoning behind a choice they themselves would not have made, nor do they tend to look for it. It cuts both ways too. I know plenty of people that think anyone bringing kids into this world must somehow be less intelligent, and I know plenty of people that think that a choice not to have kids equates to selfishness. Its my experience that while there may be valid arguments for specific cases to fit into those molds, that those arguments don't hold up when applied to other specific cases.
The point is, everybody likes to judge other people. Especially when they have far less than all the facts...the facts just get in the way of making everything cut and dry.
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
I feel the same way about all things Baylor.
crawfish
9/8/2006, 03:02 PM
I got tired of watching shows not marketed towards kids.
More like it.
I NEVER get the good TV, except on game day.
crawfish
9/8/2006, 03:02 PM
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
Huh? Somebody say something?
I don't understand what compels people to have children (on purpose). I don't even understand what compels people to speak or interact with children.
We'll make sure to send this quote to the press when you start running for office...
:pop:
Your opponent will have a field day with ads showing you to be against kids.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:17 PM
Crap, I would never suggest that bringing kids into the world is bad. Somebody has to propagate the species. It should be one of the most amazing, rewarding experiences a human being can have. And PLENTY of people make educated, thoughtful decisions regarding conceiving and rearing children. But there are PLENTY of people who give it absolutely NO thought, and do it only because that's what everyone around them is doing, or thinks they should be doing.
I just get ****ed when I hear the decision not to have kids derided as ignorant, or selfish. I've put up with that **** most of my adult life, and feel RacerX had it exactly right in his post.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm coming after some posters that everybody (myself included) really enjoys. I'm not. I'm calling out a mindset that I am pretty passionately opposed to.
Look, I love scooters. And barbeque. And the Flaming Lips. Frankly, it escapes me how anybody else couldn't feel exactly the same way I do. I know in my little SO comedy act, I'm always proselytizing those things and other things. But I also know in my heart that there are other people who are just NEVER going to enjoy those things the same way that I do. Does that make them wrong, or stupid? Nope. They just have a different way of looking at life than I do, and that's what makes the world go 'round.
I know that bearing children is more consequential than how you get around town, or what you're having for lunch, or what CD you're buying, X 10,000,000. Don't think I didn't put a ****load of thought into whether I was going to do it or not. DON'T write me off as ignorant, or selfish.
jk the sooner fan
9/8/2006, 03:17 PM
we've got militancy on both extremes of the argument in this thread
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:26 PM
No you don't. I support anyone's conscious, thoughful decision to have children. Or to not have them. And I'm not calling anyone selfish. How is that militant?
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:26 PM
Or extreme?
1stTimeCaller
9/8/2006, 03:33 PM
Wayne isn't good enough to tune Jack Ingram's guitar.
;) I keed, I keed.
Here's how I see it. I like me. I'm pretty great. Fantastic even.
It would really be selfish of me not to churn out a few little mini-skycats. I owe it to the world. There are a few of you that fit in this category. You know who you are.
Others of you aren't so great. Much less than fantastic. You also know who you are.
In your cases it's best that we don't have any more of your kind around.
If you're not sure which group you belong to, PM me and I'll let you know.
;)
jk the sooner fan
9/8/2006, 03:40 PM
Or extreme?
was i talking to you?
1stTimeCaller
9/8/2006, 03:42 PM
:les: STEP-LADDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crawfish
9/8/2006, 03:43 PM
Guys with scooters should NOT be allowed to breed.
IMO.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:44 PM
Fortunately, that's not a problem. We're all gay.
Guys with scooters should NOT be allowed to breed.
IMO.
Well, to be fair, that's not normally a problem.
NormanPride
9/8/2006, 03:46 PM
Why do Jed and Racer hate babies?
:D
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:46 PM
was i talking to you?
Good point. I'm sure you can see how it appeared that way to me, though. SicEm only made one point, which I interpreted to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek, and RacerX and I are the only ones who have made a passionate plea for people to stay the **** out of other peoples childbearing decisions.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:48 PM
Why do Jed and Racer hate babies?
:D
I love babies. They're best when they're fresh out of the crock pot.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:49 PM
Lightly seasoned.
NormanPride
9/8/2006, 03:49 PM
I love babies. They're best when they're fresh out of the crock pot.
Cool. You can make your own, you know. You should do that. :texan:
BlondeSoonerGirl
9/8/2006, 03:51 PM
:les: ALBERTSON'S IS HAVING A SALE!!!
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 03:51 PM
...RacerX and I are the only ones who have made a passionate plea for people to stay the **** out of other peoples childbearing decisions.
And Spray. Sorry, Spray.
1stTimeCaller
9/8/2006, 03:51 PM
with onions, carrots and potatoes. mmmmmmmmmm I'm getting hungry
BlondeSoonerGirl
9/8/2006, 04:28 PM
Another thing people don't consider:
I used to work with a lady who was recently married to another guy that worked here. And they were having serious fertility issues. They really wanted kids and she'd been undergoing all kinds of therapy, etc. - just a really sad deal. And they never advertised their situation or anything. They kept it pretty private because it was reasonably painful for both of them. She'd confided in a couple of us that she worked with because we were friends and she knew that we cared about her and what she was going through.
And people were all the time giving them a hard time about having kids.
'SO? When are you two gonna have a baby?...gotta do it now before you're too old to enjoy them...don't wait until you're ready or you'll never be ready!...'
And we'd watch her gracefully dance around this kind of thing all the time.
So be careful what you say and how you say it. You never know what others are going through, you know?
Viking Kitten
9/8/2006, 04:52 PM
You people took a perfectly good thread about a pregnant lady getting fisted and jacked it all up with your serious crap. Shame on you.
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 04:53 PM
Mmmm... ...fisted...
BlondeSoonerGirl
9/8/2006, 04:54 PM
You people took a perfectly good thread about a pregnant lady getting fisted and jacked it all up with your serious crap. Shame on you.
I"m gonna punch you right in the ovaries.
Right in the 'ol babymaker...
BigRedJed
9/8/2006, 04:54 PM
Mmmm... ...babymaker...
Another thing people don't consider:
I used to work with a lady who was recently married to another guy that worked here. And they were having serious fertility issues. They really wanted kids and she'd been undergoing all kinds of therapy, etc. - just a really sad deal. And they never advertised their situation or anything. They kept it pretty private because it was reasonably painful for both of them. She'd confided in a couple of us that she worked with because we were friends and she knew that we cared about her and what she was going through.
And people were all the time giving them a hard time about having kids.
'SO? When are you two gonna have a baby?...gotta do it now before you're too old to enjoy them...don't wait until you're ready or you'll never be ready!...'
And we'd watch her gracefully dance around this kind of thing all the time.
So be careful what you say and how you say it. You never know what others are going through, you know?
LOLOL
:D
And Spray. Sorry, Spray.
Technically, you made my impassioned plea for me.
Pretty selfish of me, huh? :D
Okla-homey
9/8/2006, 06:29 PM
Another thing people don't consider:
I used to work with a lady who was recently married to another guy that worked here. And they were having serious fertility issues. They really wanted kids and she'd been undergoing all kinds of therapy, etc. - just a really sad deal. And they never advertised their situation or anything. They kept it pretty private because it was reasonably painful for both of them. She'd confided in a couple of us that she worked with because we were friends and she knew that we cared about her and what she was going through.
And people were all the time giving them a hard time about having kids.
'SO? When are you two gonna have a baby?...gotta do it now before you're too old to enjoy them...don't wait until you're ready or you'll never be ready!...'
And we'd watch her gracefully dance around this kind of thing all the time.
So be careful what you say and how you say it. You never know what others are going through, you know?
You speak wisdom oh strong-toothed one. Never, evar, bug couples about not having kids. They could be trying everything short of buying a baby from an El Salvadoran 17 y/o who needs the money to escape abject poverty and you wouldn't even know.
The thing is, this joint is about posting opinions. I think its okay to opine about the the fact that being a parent (adoptive, "step," natural, whatever; as opposed to merely being biologically responsible for another human life) is the absolute most incredible, supa excellent experience a human bean can have...without slamming those who are unable for any number of compelling reasons.
sanantoniosooner
9/8/2006, 07:35 PM
selfish AND testy.
BSG talks about ovaries, SAS talks about testy... this whole thing is just disgusting.
BigRedJed
9/9/2006, 11:32 AM
...its kinda overly self-absorbed to choose not to have children if you are otherwise financially and emotionally stable enough for parenting.
Homey, this is the type of statement you, among others, made that I had a problem with. And in your last post you still didn't make room for the possibility that informed, emotionally stable and NON-SELF-ABSORBED people might make a choice not to have children.
That's simply wrong, and insulting.
BigRedJed
9/9/2006, 11:37 AM
And I never, ever disagreed that being a parent is an amazing experience for those who are driven to do it. I think anyone who feels driven to have kids and be a great parent should do so. That's how good kids are made.
Those who aren't internally driven to do so, however, should think long and hard before making the choice to do so. Unfortunately, many don't.
handcrafted
9/9/2006, 12:02 PM
The better half and I waited quite a while to have kids. I'm 40 and we have a 4.5 and a 1+.
The amount of crap people say to you when you're married and not having litters is unbelievable. Rude, insensitive, nosey *** bull****. My suggestion to all of you pro-everybody-reproducing people is to STFU.
No, it's not "everybody reproduce". It's "conservative right-wing Christians" reproduce. Just thought I'd clarify. :D
handcrafted
9/9/2006, 12:04 PM
Crap, I would never suggest that bringing kids into the world is bad. Somebody has to propagate the species. It should be one of the most amazing, rewarding experiences a human being can have. And PLENTY of people make educated, thoughtful decisions regarding conceiving and rearing children. But there are PLENTY of people who give it absolutely NO thought, and do it only because that's what everyone around them is doing, or thinks they should be doing.
I just get ****ed when I hear the decision not to have kids derided as ignorant, or selfish. I've put up with that **** most of my adult life, and feel RacerX had it exactly right in his post.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm coming after some posters that everybody (myself included) really enjoys. I'm not. I'm calling out a mindset that I am pretty passionately opposed to.
Look, I love scooters. And barbeque. And the Flaming Lips. Frankly, it escapes me how anybody else couldn't feel exactly the same way I do. I know in my little SO comedy act, I'm always proselytizing those things and other things. But I also know in my heart that there are other people who are just NEVER going to enjoy those things the same way that I do. Does that make them wrong, or stupid? Nope. They just have a different way of looking at life than I do, and that's what makes the world go 'round.
I know that bearing children is more consequential than how you get around town, or what you're having for lunch, or what CD you're buying, X 10,000,000. Don't think I didn't put a ****load of thought into whether I was going to do it or not. DON'T write me off as ignorant, or selfish.
Can I just call you ignorant and selfish for no reason at all? :D
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