funny kidisms

[Czar Soonerov]

Daddy can I watch "Porkahontas."

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Over a year ago I'm babysitting my niece (she was 4 at the time) and she wants to sleep with me.

So she gets in bed with me but she won't be still. She's keeps wriggling around. So I ask her what her problem is. She says:

'This bed gives me a crunchy...'.

WTF?

[Flagstaffsooner]

Over a year ago I'm babysitting my niece (she was 4 at the time) and she wants to sleep with me.

So she gets in bed with me but she won't be still. She's keeps wriggling around. So I ask her what her problem is. She says:

'This bed gives me a crunchy...'.

WTF?Crackers in the bed will do it every time.

[BoogercountySooner]

My little girl would roll her eyes and say Evermind instead of nevermind.

[picasso]

wasn't my kid but "what are you doing to my mommie?" was always a good one.

jus kiddin

[SOONERKAT]

My little gril's two favorite foods: PB&J "sangwhiches" and "basagna".

[Czar Soonerov]

han-gaber

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

When my nephew was potty training toilet paper was pronounced "salt and pepper."

[BoogercountySooner]

For Skunk my eldest son said Snuk!

[leavingthezoo]

when my nephew was small and he had a cold, he would tell everyone, "my nose is coming out."

[Howzit]

The Moment You Believe - Eliot Morris

[Miko]

Daddy can I watch "Porkahontas."

Is the the movie with the Eddie Van Halen soundtrack? Prolly inapropriate as a gift. :D

[Newbomb Turk]

I've told this one on here, but it's been awhile - true story.

When my son was about 4 or so, he was taking a bath. I was in the bathroom waiting for him to get out of the tub.

He's messing around and starts playing with his family jewels, then looks up at me and asks, "dad, what are these?"

I respond "they are called testicles".

He thinks for a few seconds, then replies, "they feel like balls".

Had to turn around and walk out of the bathroom before bursting out in laughter.

[Miko]

I took my daughter to Homedepot with me once when she was little enough to go with me without protest.

They had a display of fountains and birdbaths by the front door. As I walked in I heard an urgent, condesending "Daddy!!!"

I turned to see her with her hand in the fountain, which she pulled out to use to make a sign of the cross, just like when we go church.

[crawfish]

Daddy can I watch "Porkahontas."

I love that movie!

[Okla-homey]

My blonde daughter loved "pasdetti."

She used to be incapable of making a hard "g" sound.

I'd pay $5000.00 cash to hear her say: "Daddy, I'm a dood dirl" one more time:O

[colleyvillesooner]

My fiance's little nephew has an OU hat. Anytime they tell him to go get his "OU" hat, he says "My Oh-Me hat?". It took me a second to figure it out.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Remember the old Foreigner song "Hot Blooded" with the lyrics: I'm hot blooded check it and see!

My five year old nephew: I'm hot blooded chicken and cheese!

[sooner_born_1960]

Remember the old Foreigner song "Hot Blooded" with the lyrics: I'm hot blooded check it and see!

My five year old nephew: I'm hot blooded chicken and cheese!
That's what I thought it was when I was 20.

[Czar Soonerov]

bitch(chips) and salsa

[Kimberlyz4OU]

So, my baby boy (about 5 at the time) asks me, "mom, who is Richard Sands?"

I was like, "no idea, baby, why?"

He said, "yea you do to know, the pledge of 'llegiance.......
and to the public of Richard Sands......

Har

[FaninAma]

My 3 year old , at the time, was a big fan of Dark Elevator(DarthVader).

Okla-Homey.....those memories do pull at the old heart strings. You just don't realize at the time how fleeting and special every moment is when your kids are young.

[Norm In Norman]

Tonight we were watching Harry Potter 3 and here is my conversation with the boy about werewolvwes:

The Boy - Werewolves smell good.
Norm - Oh, do they smell like strawberries?
The Boy - NO! They stink, but they smell good!
Norm - How can they stink and smell good at the same time?
The Boy - Do you not know what a sniff is? THEY STINK AND THEY SMELL GOOD!

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

My oldest niece saw a well endowed lady at Blockbuster once. She loudly said to my brother: "look daddy, sillycone!"

[joex2]

everyone in my house knows well that "peckeroni" is the best pizza in the world!

also

my nephew when he was young had a horrible problem confusing "ch" with "ph" --needless to say, my sister in law used to drives miles out of her way to avoid Chuck E. Cheese

[GottaHavePride]

I've told this one on here, but it's been awhile - true story.

When my son was about 4 or so, he was taking a bath. I was in the bathroom waiting for him to get out of the tub.

He's messing around and starts playing with his family jewels, then looks up at me and asks, "dad, what are these?"

I respond "they are called testicles".

He thinks for a few seconds, then replies, "they feel like balls".

Had to turn around and walk out of the bathroom before bursting out in laughter.

Holy crap, this is funny.

[Melo]

Daddy can I watch "Poke-my-hontas."

You really shold keep those movies locked up, or on a high shelf. I dont think little kiddies should be subjected to things of that nature.

[whatsername]

Tonight we were watching Harry Potter 3 and here is my conversation with the boy about werewolvwes:

The Boy - Werewolves smell good.
Norm - Oh, do they smell like strawberries?
The Boy - NO! They stink, but they smell good!
Norm - How can they stink and smell good at the same time?
The Boy - Do you not know what a sniff is? THEY STINK AND THEY SMELL GOOD!

Strawberries? :confused:

[Mrs. Norm]

The boy was doing a skeleton unit in Kindergarten last year. He really liked learning about all of the bones. So, he is getting out of the bath one night, and he comes running into the living room. He is standing in his birthday suit, showing us all of his bones. He said, "My foot has all kinds of bones. Look!" He then starts asking us if he has bones in his belly, in his ear, etc. He then grabs "himself" and asks, "Guys, does this have a bone in it?" Norm's expression on his face was PRICELESS!! I had to turn away so that I didn't laugh. Needless to say, I don't know what Norm answered. I was concentrating on not laughing at the time.

[ChickSoonerFan]

My aunt wanted to have an hor d'oeuvre party for lunch one day. I told my 4 year old and 11 year old this and tried to get them exicted about it.

My aunt brought all kinds of yummy stuff inluding some commmon finger foods. So my little one picks up an "hor d'oeuvre" and takes it to my older one and it goes like this:

Little one: Do you want an or door
Older one: What is an or door
Little one: I'm not sure, it kinda looks like cantelope and it tastes a lot like it too.

It was cantelope of course.

We had a lot of fun with the for the rest of the lunch, we put out some Fritos and dip and her eyes got so big and she said, "Those look just like Fritos!"

[ChickSoonerFan]

han-gaber

She says this too!

[sanantoniosooner]

Told before, but......

I wrestle a lot with my kids and occasionally somebody gets a little hurt. I was wrestling with one and we bumped heads. It hurt a little, but I didn't want to react until I saw how he would react. He just stared at me so I reached up and rubbed my head and said "We bumped foreheads, didn't we?" He made a mad face and yelled "NO...WE BUMPED TWO HEADS!"

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

My oldest niece who was 15 at the time was helping her 5 year old brother with his bath. He's playing around in the water, just splashing around then he yells "Look Lizzie!!! My tail's getting bigger!!!!!!"

She was mortified,

[HskrGrl]

I have some Nebraska hillbilly relatives (aka western Nebraska) and one time we were out there visiting them for Thanksgiving and hit up the Walmart for their day after Thanksgiving sales. It was my stepsister-in-law, her 3 year old son, my mother-in-law, and my husband and I. My 3 year old nephew LOVED Spongebob at the time, but couldn't pronounce it right. What he said sounded exactly like blow-job. So were in this hillbilly Walmart that is beyond packed (since it's the only place within 30 miles to shop and the closest store 30 miles away is another Walmart) and we head to the toy section. The first isle is just full of Spongebob toys. My nephew gets wide eyed and yells as loud as he can "Grandma, can I have a blow-job?!!!"

As if that wasn't mortifiying enough you know how when a child misprounces something, it's cute so you say it back to them like "Yes, honey you can have some ciminom on your toast". Well, after my nephew asked my mother-in-law for a blow-job she promptly replies "No, Brandon, you can't have a blow-job today. Maybe you can ask Santa for one for Christmas."

The rest of the time we were there hubby and I shopped on our own.

[JohnnyMack]

The other day my son grunted in a rather gutteral manner. Then farted.

[AlbqSooner]

My sister came home from 1st grade singing the song that they learned that day. God Bless America.

"Stand beside her - And guide her - through the night with the light from a bulb."

[whatsername]

When my son was about three, my parents took him fishing on their boat. They gave him a pole with a weight and no hook on the line because he wanted to cast it himself. He got crazy with it and ended up overboard. My dad jumped in, fully-dressed and put him back in the boat.

We always wanted to hear him tell the story of how "papa say my wice!" (saved my life)

He also called the fireplace a "darpay". It took us a long time to even figure out what he was referring to!

[NormanPride]

This is one of my mom's favorite stories - I must've been 3-4, or somewhere around there. We were at Sea World, down at the pool glass before the Shamu show. Shamu swam by us and he was... well, excited, to say the least. Being a curious youth I asked her what "it" was, and she told me, in a very hushed voice (to try and avoid an embarassing incident).

I was mortified. "MAMA, THAT IS NOT HIS P****!!!" I just wish I could remember the look on her face. :D

[afs]

The boy was doing a skeleton unit in Kindergarten last year. He really liked learning about all of the bones. So, he is getting out of the bath one night, and he comes running into the living room. He is standing in his birthday suit, showing us all of his bones. He said, "My foot has all kinds of bones. Look!" He then starts asking us if he has bones in his belly, in his ear, etc. He then grabs "himself" and asks, "Guys, does this have a bone in it?" Norm's expression on his face was PRICELESS!! I had to turn away so that I didn't laugh. Needless to say, I don't know what Norm answered. I was concentrating on not laughing at the time.

i can't wait til the day that "the boy" is old enough to realize that strangers around the world know embarressing stories about him and are freely talking about them at tailgates and OU sporting events.

[TheGodfather889]

I'm going to remember to pay attention to these things when my son gets older (he turns 2 on August 29th). These are all hilarious.