Ladies of the SO...

[Okla-homey]

You know we love you. Each and every one of you. Your collective presence graces this place and has been the source of much merriment and mirth through the years. Us men hang on your every sexual innuendo and we're like VK in a shoe store when you guys start dishing the dirt.

Now, with all that said. Please tell us, in your own words, (and of course the persons may remain anonymous and you are free to redact specific dates and locales which could lead to the indentities of the persons described) what is the single meanest, most low-down thing you ever did to some poor, pathetic bastage who was flippin' crazy about you and absolutely worshipped the ground you trod with your ridiculously 'spensive footwear? Don't hold back. Let it out. It will be cleansing for your souls and we will NOT think less of you for being cold-hearted or anything.;)

:pop:

[OU4LIFE]

Homey is not speaking for all of us.

I actually WILL think less of you for being cold-hearted.

[Viking Kitten]

I ain't goin' first.

[12]

This too might prove a valuable home school lesson for my 9 year old daughter.

[Miko]

I ain't goin' first.

Then we'll just have to sit here and hang onto this as if it were a sexual inuendo! :pop:

[crawfish]

Wimmins are evil.

[Mjcpr]

So I told this guy I'd go to Branson with him......

[VeeJay]

Heh - VK said "goin' first."

[LilSooner]

Oh alright I will go first. But I have to preface this with he had it coming. This guy used to tell me how "big" I was, I was a flipping size 4, and how much people thought I was a b-word. So after putting up with that for way too long, I was only 16, I dumped him. Well being from a small town we recycle boys, so about a year later he started coming around again and wanted to date me, and I wasn't really having it, so he thought it would be cute to put a red rose in my locker (I detest red roses) and note. Well to sum up the note it said, "My life with out you is like a pencil with out lead, it's pointless." I was so disgusted I showed all of his friends and embarssed the hell out of him.

He hated me forever, I say he shouldn't have treated me like crap the first time around. Karma is a bitch and so am I.

[Miko]

"My life with out you is like a pencil with out lead..."


I thought "no lead in the pencil" had a different meaning.

Shows what I know.:O

[Okla-homey]

Oh alright I will go first. But I have to preface this with he had it coming. This guy used to tell me how "big" I was, I was a flipping size 4, and how much people thought I was a b-word. So after putting up with that for way too long, I was only 16, I dumped him. Well being from a small town we recycle boys, so about a year later he started coming around again and wanted to date me, and I wasn't really having it, so he thought it would be cute to put a red rose in my locker (I detest red roses) and note. Well to sum up the note it said, "My life with out you is like a pencil with out lead, it's pointless." I was so disgusted I showed all of his friends and embarssed the hell out of him.

He hated me forever, I say he shouldn't have treated me like crap the first time around. Karma is a bitch and so am I.

Well, I must say, that's a sad tale of woe...but I think you're holding back. I can sense these things for I am a student of the fair sex and have been on the receiving end of more than my share of emotional shoe-whippin's by women I adored who would'nt have spit on me if I was on fire.

[Miko]

Wimmins are evil.

"Girls is da debil!" Mrs. Boucher :eek:

[LilSooner]

Well, I must say, that's a sad tale of woe...but I think you're holding back. I can sense these things for I am a student of the fair sex and have been on the receiving end of more than my share of emotional shoe-whippin's by women I adored who would'nt have spit on me if I was on fire.

Nope honestly, that was all I did.

[Okla-homey]

Nope honestly, that was all I did.

Then I am afraid you've much to learn Grasshopper. Perhaps one of the Shaolin Masters of Heartbreakery will wade in.

[Viking Kitten]

I ripped a dude's chest open with my bare hands and devoured his still-beating heart while he watched and struggled for his last gasps of breath.

So take that Lil with your little "I once embarrassed a guy" story.

[NormanPride]

I bet Mom has the best stories. :D

[Okla-homey]

I ripped a dude's chest open with my bare hands and devoured his still-beating heart while he watched and struggled for his last gasps of breath.

So take that Lil with your little "I once embarrassed a guy" story.

Thats harsh. Kinda like what Magua (Wes Studi) did to the British colonel in "Last of the Mohicans" huh?

[LilSooner]

I ripped a dude's chest open with my bare hands and devoured his still-beating heart while he watched and struggled for his last gasps of breath.

So take that Lil with your little "I once embarrassed a guy" story.

Dude, I'm a complete and total failure as a chick. I am going to burn my chick card and send back the Lacroix shoes.

[Viking Kitten]

Thats harsh. Kinda like what Magua (Wes Studi) did to the British colonel in "Last of the Mohicans" huh?
Yes. But with him, it was personal.

[Okla-homey]

Yes. But with him, it was personal.

You're goooood. :eek:

[Viking Kitten]

Dude, I'm a complete and total failure as a chick. I am going to burn my chick card and send back the Lacroix shoes.

Get yourself some Aerosoles loafers while you're at it.

[MiccoMacey]

Dude, I'm a complete and total failure as a chick. I am going to burn my chick card and have the surgeon re-plant my Adam's apple...

:eek:

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

When/if I run into 'some poor, pathetic bastage who was flippin' crazy about you and absolutely worshipped the ground you trod with your ridiculously 'spensive footwear?' I'll get back to this thread.

:rcmad:

[Sooner_Bob]

When/if I run into 'some poor, pathetic bastage who was flippin' crazy about you and absolutely worshipped the ground you trod with your ridiculously 'spensive footwear?' I'll get back to this thread.

:rcmad:


Here I thought Soonertimes was full of 'em . . . :pop:

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I'm always a nice girl. I never do anything to hurt a dude's feelings.

[LilSooner]

Oh c'mon I can't be the ONLY girl on here has done something not so nice to a guy.

[handcrafted]

paging TD2K....

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Here I thought Soonertimes was full of 'em . . . :pop:

Well, CalSooner did make me a neat sig pic thingie once...

[OU4LIFE]

heh

[Preservation Parcels]

Hmmm...meanest thing had to be getting to know his family. I was the "take her home to Mother" type. Then, when it became clear that he wasn't the one and I gently broke it off, his mother nearly nagged him to death to get him to make things work out. I heard he finally married at 44. Does that count?

[crawfish]

This thread is disappointing me.

[OU4LIFE]

much like you have your parents.

[Soonerbabeinbama]

Only what they deserved - we are talking focktards afterall!!;)

[crawfish]

much like you have your parents.

They were just afraid we'd have hairy children...

[Oldnslo]

Thread failure.

[OCUDad]

Thread failure.Agreed. Only two things can save this thread:
OUSAEmom chimes in
VK sends pics of her "rip your heart out and eat it" shtick

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

pg could prolly save it.

She has guns.

[Soonerbabeinbama]

I guess men are scum and women do sh!te shalimar.
Ooooh - I love Shalimar - wearing it today as a matter of fact.

[SeattleOUstudent]

Anyone else think its kinda weird that Homey posts a thread like this? He has a 20something daughter in college with a new boyfriend 3 states away at OSU. Im thinkin he is up to somethin :)

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

And we all know that this is the best advice machine in the world.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

BSG,

Should I tell them that one story?

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Nah...save that one for another day.

And a more happy thread.

:D

[n8v_ndn]

This thread turned into the TCU game, circa 2005.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Okay, a drunker thread.

[Czar Soonerov]

I ripped a dude's chest open with my bare hands and devoured his still-beating heart while he watched and struggled for his last gasps of breath.

Cute metaphor for sneaking off and losing all his winnings at the craps table.

:pop:

[Scott D]

this thread is weaker than smack between doleo and stanley.

[ChickSoonerFan]

edit: I was KIDDING!!

no one laughed.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

this thread is weaker than smack between doleo and stanley.

Yeah, but one of us girls really could beat...nevermind.

:D

[colleyvillesooner]

no one laughed.

You still shocked by that? ;)

[jeremy885]

I used Stanley for sex


Bet that was disappointing.

[proud gonzo]

I don't think my guns will help this thread. (not that kind of guns! I know how y'all think)

though there IS a guy I'd gladly shoot if he ever spoke to me again. I think i probably told the story once before. ....upon searching, yes. Yes I have told the story before, albeit in abridged form. http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showpost.php?p=196330&postcount=11

I think that's pretty much the worst...


there was another I wasn't really MEAN to, though. A guy who was my GA a couple of years ago in a film class. he sat right in front of me so we'd chat before class. And there was one paper due in the class that he let me turn in late and gave me a really good grade even though I thought it was the crappiest paper I'd ever written. So I thought that was pretty cool.

I ran into him on campus last December and we talked for a bit. about a month later picasso posted a thread looking for a russian translation, so I emailed the guy because he's russian. He gave me the translation and asked how classes and stuff were going. Didn't seem weird, he was being friendly. The next email he sent, he said something about wanting to read a script i wrote--still not too weird since we'd discussed scripts when we talked on campus before. but the NEXT email... well, I just have to copy and paste it for you.


Hey beautiful,

I'm sorry it took me awhile to respond. It has been crazy here, another trip to Houston and this Saturday i'm leaving for France for a week. I'd love to read your short [script]! And i'd love to share with you some of my work. You should come over for a cup of Russian tea sometimes. Maybe before i leave, tomorrow or Friday if you can, let me know. well THAT was completely out of nowhere, mr. scary-lookin russian dude (seriously, i'm tempted to post a picture of him. he's on imdb.com)

so I sent an email back and said "Sorry, I have plans with my boyfriend Friday, but here's my script if you want to read it!"

that explains the lenience on the crappy paper i wrote, though. :rolleyes:

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

You're gonna ruin your reputation for being a meanie!

:D

Oh, and I'm waiting for Pat's story...

[Mjcpr]

Is this him, pg?

http://www.juicedornot.com/zenphoto/albums/people/ivandrago.jpg

[Czar Soonerov]

Is this him, pg?


http://www.bransonticket.com/images/shows/141_OK.jpg

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I ripped off a man's side mirror last week.

[whatsername]

I really hate to even admit this because I'm really ashamed of myself, but I guess I can share...

I dated this guy in HS, then we split up for a while and then a couple years later, we got in touch again. Except this time, he was head over heels in love with me instead of the other way around.

He bought some concert tickets to 38 Special and Ted Nugent and asked me to go. He found out that he had to work that day and didn't know if he'd be able to make it, so he gave me the tickets and told me to leave without him if he didn't make it to my house in time.

(Just a note, 38 Special had a couple of songs that were "our songs" when we dated in HS. So, he probably had some hopes that taking me to the concert might spark things up between us again.)

Well, I left early and took someone else to the concert. I found out the next day he got there in time. (It wasn't another guy though, at least I have that going for me.)

[Scott D]

see the problem there is having 38 Special songs as 'your songs'....if Stranglehold isn't your song then you know you were doomed :D

[proud gonzo]

http://www.bransonticket.com/images/shows/141_OK.jpg

if he was younger and scarier-looking that would be pretty close, actually...

[C&CDean]

Well, I'm really not a lady, but I can tell a story. When I was in the Army, I got picked up hitchiking in North Carolina. Dude had a Pinto, and after I tell him where I'm going he starts into the whole "have you ever gotten a blowjob from a guy" script.

I kinda reach for the door handle - and there isn't one. Not a window crank either. Dude was a ****ing fag predator. Anyhow, being quick on my feet, I tell him "if you can take me all the way to the barracks on Ft. Bragg, I'll let you give me some head." He starts rubbing himself, and getting all hot and bothered. Anyhow, we pull up to the barracks, and I go "let me out, and I'll let you blow me." He gets out and comes around and opens my door. Dude already has his unit hanging out of his pants. Anyhow, he sits in the seat I just evacuated, all ready for some hot action, and I plant a size 13 boot in the middle of his forehead. Knocked him clean into the driver's side window - which shatters everywhere.

I turn and walk into the barracks, and homo boy drives away.

The end.

[OCUDad]

Where did you find a size 13 boot?

[C&CDean]

Where did you find a size 13 boot?

At the quartermaster. DOH.

[C&CDean]

f'd up your spit shine on them Corcoran jump boots, eh?

http://www.nexternal.com/armynavy/images/XC1585.gif

Good ol' Corcorans.......if I could just get back the hours I spent polishing the heels and toes of those bad boys I'd add 10 years to my life.

[OU4LIFE]

Well, I'm really not a lady, but I can tell a story. When I was in the Army, I got picked up hitchiking in North Carolina. Dude had a Pinto, and after I tell him where I'm going he starts into the whole "have you ever gotten a blowjob from a guy" script.

I kinda reach for the door handle - and there isn't one. Not a window crank either. Dude was a ****ing fag predator. Anyhow, being quick on my feet, I tell him "if you can take me all the way to the barracks on Ft. Bragg, I'll let you give me some head." He starts rubbing himself, and getting all hot and bothered. Anyhow, we pull up to the barracks, and I go "let me out, and I'll let you blow me." He gets out and comes around and opens my door. Dude already has his unit hanging out of his pants. Anyhow, he sits in the seat I just evacuated, all ready for some hot action, and I ...............

.

the story was probably pretty accurate up to that point..... we all know that's not how it ended Dean....

Dear Penthouse....

[jeremy885]

Talk about fags. You guys changed a thread called "Ladies of the SO" to a thread about men's shoes.


;)

[C&CDean]

Does Penthouse do fag stuff?

[jeremy885]

Penthouse Variations probably does.

[C&CDean]

How do you know about this magazine?

[jeremy885]

I put "penthouse and gay" into Google and that's what popped out.

[OU4LIFE]

How do you know about this magazine?


how do you know it's a magazine? :D

[OUDoc]

Apparently, I've led a considerably more sheltered life than Dean.

[C&CDean]

Apparently, I've led a considerably more sheltered life than Dean.

Most people have. A lesser man than me would not have survived.

But hey, I can't help it if I'm a chick and dude magnet.

[jeremy885]

Dean's Bi :eek:

[C&CDean]

Jeremy is living on borrowed time.

[OU4LIFE]

heh

[jeremy885]

Are your threatening me?

http://www.jalopnik.com/cars/cornholio.jpg

[C&CDean]

yes

[jeremy885]

sweet.

[colleyvillesooner]

That was very close to a noob/Dean smackdown.

[crawfish]

I haven't learned a dang thing from this thread.

[jeremy885]

That was very close to a noob/Dean smackdown.


noob :(

After an enjoyable 3 years of posting and 3.5 million spek points (mostly earned from vbooie or vbookie padded speks), I've decide to go elsewhere for my abuse. I thought this was the place for it, but I guess not. whornfans.com here I come.

Respectfully yours,

Jeremy885

[whatsername]

see the problem there is having 38 Special songs as 'your songs'....if Stranglehold isn't your song then you know you were doomed :D


:) I'm sure he would have loved to strangle me.

He finally got fed up with me though... a couple years later, I was partying at a friends and when I left, I found a cassette tape under my wiperblade. It was 38 Special "What If I'd Been The One". :O

[colleyvillesooner]

noob :(

After an enjoyable 3 years of posting and 3.5 million spek points (mostly earned from vbooie or vbookie padded speks), I've decide to go elsewhere for my abuse. I thought this was the place for it, but I guess not. whornfans.com here I come.

Respectfully yours,

Jeremy885
heh

[MamaMia]

Agreed. Only two things can save this thread:
OUSAEmom chimes in
VK sends pics of her "rip your heart out and eat it" shtickWell, there was this one guy who totally needed a lesson in manners. He said I was "prissy", "boring" and not "outdoorsy" enough for him, even though we had been water skiing at the lake not a month prior. So, I told him I was going to spend the rest of the summer abroad anyway, but that my brother would be more than happy to introduce him to my twin sister who just happened to be very outdoorsy, and gave him and my twin my blessing.

My 'twin' invited him for a weekend at Daddy's cabin up in the Colorado mountains. After a full day of fishing, hiking and loads of outdoorsyness I, I mean "my twin", took him for a Jeep ride about 10 miles up the trail to fish the creek. After he unloaded all of his gear, I all of the sudden got the urge for a massage, so off to the Beaver Creek Spa I went, giving him the opportunity to practice his survival techniques. ;)

[proud gonzo]

you are awesome :D

[GottaHavePride]

Well, there was this one guy who totally needed a lesson in manners. He said I was "prissy", "boring" and not "outdoorsy" enough for him, even though we had been water skiing at the lake not a month prior. So, I told him I was going to spend the rest of the summer abroad anyway, but that my brother would be more than happy to introduce him to my twin sister who just happened to be very outdoorsy, and gave him and my twin my blessing.

My 'twin' invited him for a weekend at Daddy's cabin up in the Colorado mountains. After a full day of fishing, hiking and loads of outdoorsyness I, I mean "my twin", took him for a Jeep ride about 10 miles up the trail to fish the creek. After he unloaded all of his gear, I all of the sudden got the urge for a massage, so off to the Beaver Creek Spa I went, giving him the opportunity to practice his survival techniques. ;)

holy crap, that's hilarious.

I mean, MEAN CHICKS STINK! ;)

[AlbqSooner]

Well, there was this one guy who totally needed a lesson in manners. He said I was "prissy", "boring" and not "outdoorsy" enough for him, even though we had been water skiing at the lake not a month prior. So, I told him I was going to spend the rest of the summer abroad anyway, but that my brother would be more than happy to introduce him to my twin sister who just happened to be very outdoorsy, and gave him and my twin my blessing.

My 'twin' invited him for a weekend at Daddy's cabin up in the Colorado mountains. After a full day of fishing, hiking and loads of outdoorsyness I, I mean "my twin", took him for a Jeep ride about 10 miles up the trail to fish the creek. After he unloaded all of his gear, I all of the sudden got the urge for a massage, so off to the Beaver Creek Spa I went, giving him the opportunity to practice his survival techniques. ;)
YMSSRA - Heh

[whatsername]

After he unloaded all of his gear, I all of the sudden got the urge for a massage, so off to the Beaver Creek Spa I went, giving him the opportunity to practice his survival techniques. ;)

heh, that was good. :D