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proudsoonergal
8/19/2006, 12:33 PM
I need to vent....I'll try to give the really condensed version.....

I live in a rented house with two guys - my boyfriend and his oldest guy friend (he's like a brother to me). We've had this arrangement for over two years, now....prior to this, the guy friend was living rent free in my apartment (he came to visit from another state, and never left).

So, for the last year, the guy had been dating a girl ("A") long distance. About three months ago, the guy starts cheating on her with another girl ("B"). The B girl was also cheating; B girl's BF finds out, and kicks her out of his house (they had been living together). The roommate tells me and the BF (around mid or end of May) that the B girl needs a place to crash for awhile so she can find something permanent. That's fine - the BF and I have no problem with helping someone out.

Over a month later, at the end of June, the BF and I talked to both the roommate and B girl, and were told she was going to need until the "beginning of August." Okay. About three weeks later, at the end of July, I talked to the roommate again, and was told B girl was moving out "on the 15th of August."

August 15th came and went. BF and I were out of town, and didn't get back until Thursday. We get home, and nothing had changed - her stuff was still here, with no sign of moving.

So, last night, we tell the guy and B girl that she has until noon today to find a new place to live. She is upset, but generally understanding (I think). The guy, however, pays lip service to our patience and understanding, but at the end of the discussion attempts to make us feel really guilty with a sob story about trying to find a place. He also doesn't like that we made a household decision without talking to him first.

We let this girl live at our house RENT FREE and BILL FREE for three months. At no time did the roommate or B girl approach me or the BF and tell us what was going on - every time we talked, BF or I initiated the conversation, and had to ask.

So, here's the deal: I feel taken advantaged of by the roommate, I feel guilty about kicking the girl out, and am really irritated that I feel guilty about it.

critical_phil
8/19/2006, 12:36 PM
seems like a good question for Dr. Laura......

OUWxGuesser
8/19/2006, 12:52 PM
And out comes girlfriend A!

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

GottaHavePride
8/19/2006, 12:58 PM
Do Girl B and Guy Friend not have jobs? I'd suggest the two of them both move out and get a place together.

TheHumanAlphabet
8/19/2006, 01:32 PM
Bingo!

They are leeches and are sponging off your good intentions. Call the Sheriff and boot them out. If you don't, they'll have squatter's rights, or may be seen as tenants you have approved. They are not on the lease I assume, you are liable, you may be violating your lease and could get you and your BF tossed.

Helping people "crash" is the best way to end friendships...

Don't feel guilty, THEY ARE WRONG! and should have offered to pay something!!!

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
8/19/2006, 01:35 PM
Maybe you should call Girlfriend A and tell her you are planning a surprise party for Roommate.

TheHumanAlphabet
8/19/2006, 01:40 PM
Maybe you should call Girlfriend A and tell her you are planning a surprise party for Roommate.

Ohhh, that is sooo wrong, but I LIKE it!!! could be an interesting "reunion"...;)

worng in the buttin' in aspect, but guy friend has kind of earned it...

rebmus
8/19/2006, 03:18 PM
Maybe you should call Girlfriend A and tell her you are planning a surprise party for Roommate.
don't forget the videocam.

we wanna see the results! :pop:

fadada1
8/19/2006, 03:45 PM
free rent????

where exactly are you???;) :D

sounds like they need a serious "adult conversation intervention". get a job, get a life, get your own place - or - start paying your part of the rent/bills.

proud gonzo
8/19/2006, 04:08 PM
I think an ultimatum is in order

KingDavid
8/21/2006, 10:12 PM
I need to vent....I'll try to give the really condensed version.....

I live in a rented house with two guys - my boyfriend and his oldest guy friend (he's like a brother to me). We've had this arrangement for over two years, now....prior to this, the guy friend was living rent free in my apartment (he came to visit from another state, and never left).

So, for the last year, the guy had been dating a girl ("A") long distance. About three months ago, the guy starts cheating on her with another girl ("B"). The B girl was also cheating; B girl's BF finds out, and kicks her out of his house (they had been living together). The roommate tells me and the BF (around mid or end of May) that the B girl needs a place to crash for awhile so she can find something permanent. That's fine - the BF and I have no problem with helping someone out.

Over a month later, at the end of June, the BF and I talked to both the roommate and B girl, and were told she was going to need until the "beginning of August." Okay. About three weeks later, at the end of July, I talked to the roommate again, and was told B girl was moving out "on the 15th of August."

August 15th came and went. BF and I were out of town, and didn't get back until Thursday. We get home, and nothing had changed - her stuff was still here, with no sign of moving.

So, last night, we tell the guy and B girl that she has until noon today to find a new place to live. She is upset, but generally understanding (I think). The guy, however, pays lip service to our patience and understanding, but at the end of the discussion attempts to make us feel really guilty with a sob story about trying to find a place. He also doesn't like that we made a household decision without talking to him first.

We let this girl live at our house RENT FREE and BILL FREE for three months. At no time did the roommate or B girl approach me or the BF and tell us what was going on - every time we talked, BF or I initiated the conversation, and had to ask.

So, here's the deal: I feel taken advantaged of by the roommate, I feel guilty about kicking the girl out, and am really irritated that I feel guilty about it.

OK. The best thing to do with your guilt trip, if you can't listen to these other posters tell you you're just fine and that these free-loaders need to get lost, is to go back and give these losers some choices. That way you can put off the guilt onto them.

I would give them the opportunity to pay rent at an precipitous rate - something that offsets your anxiety level. For instance, now that you are this stressed out by the ongoing imposition of this extended stay, you'll be needing a couple of massages every week to help maintain your sanity, won't you? At $75/massage, that'll add up to $150/week or $600/month. And let's not forget the dear, dear BF. While he feels he's a bit tougher than you, he still needs at least one massage every week and a case of beer to help deal with the added anxiety. So there's another $400/month. And then there's the fact that you and BF never get to spend any time alone together anymore because your "guests" are always there. So they can help you pay for a couple nights away from the house, every month. Maybe one at the Driskoll, and another at the Four Seasons. At $250/night, you're looking at another $500/month.

So, let me total this up: $600/month for your massages; $400/month for his massages and beer; and $500/month for some time for just you and your dear BF. That's comes to $1,500/month. Tell them they can stay if they're willing to foot that bill.

Or, if they find it to be more economical, they can just scurry along and find their own place (or someone else off which to free-load).

Sounds to me like you've been a gracious friend. I'm sorry they've not shown you the appreciation you deserve for the sacrifices you've already made. Good luck.