****** *******s

[TopDaugIn2000]

Post what ya know here.



850 peanuts are needed to make an 18 oz. jar of peanut butter.:twinkies:

[crawfish]

Changing the process will NEVER fix the problem if you **** the people off.

[TopDaugIn2000]

It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.

[TopDaugIn2000]

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

[Osce0la]

Winning the lottery via random emails IS A SCAM!

[Howzit]

puffins mate for life.

[Hamhock]

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.


RAWR!!

[King Crimson]

Little Caesar's used to advertise for it's "100 pepperonis pizza", but if you counted on the picture on the junk mailer and TV commercial there were only 96.

rat bastards.

don't believe everything.

[Osce0la]

I know why the chicken crossed the road.

[jk the sooner fan]

i can teach any of you how to dust for latent impressions, on dry or wet surfaces...

[jk the sooner fan]

come to think of it, i can teach you how to process the rest of the crime scene too

[mdklatt]

The theoretical maximum hull speed of a displacement vessel is 1.34 times the square root of the waterline length.

[Howzit]

The theoretical maximum hull speed of a displacement vessel is 1.34 times the square root of the waterline length.

dude...EVERYONE knows that...

[Hamhock]

if you leave the probe thermometer inside the leg of lamb, like alton says to, then said probe thermometer is very hot and will leave a scar, still visible 2 weeks later, if touched with the naked hand.

[critical_phil]

an AVERAGE housecat will eat a taco supreme....

[1stTimeCaller]

no band is willing to hire a drummer that has a Pearl Rythm Traveller drum kit.

[VeeJay]

Burrowing owls, when looking direct at you, look eerily like Cynthia McKinney.

[TopDaugIn2000]

an AVERAGE housecat will eat a taco supreme....

and then throw up 3

[Howzit]

mildlyretardednorm4ou is voting for czar in the lightning round.

[TopDaugIn2000]

if you leave the probe thermometer inside the leg of lamb, like alton says to, then said probe thermometer is very hot and will leave a scar, still visible 2 weeks later, if touched with the naked hand.

so will the metal handle of a skillet after being in the 450 degree oven for about 45 minutes.

[critical_phil]

no band is willing to hire a drummer that has a Pearl Rythm Traveller drum kit.


if you buy that 5th wheel, you'll be amazed at how many offers you get from bands needing a drummer......

[OUstudent4life]

If you eat less calories in a day than you use, you will lose weight.

I'm going to make MILLIONS!!!

[TopDaugIn2000]

peanut M&Ms are really tasty

[Hamhock]

so will the metal handle of a skillet after being in the 450 degree oven for about 45 minutes.


idiot

;)

[1stTimeCaller]

if a guy will quit a job over a $43.60 dispute he will certainly leave for double his current pay.

[Osce0la]

Working 5 hours and being paid for 40 IS against NCAA regulations.

[King Crimson]

people prefer to think an Italian master-chef is making their 8$ dollar tiramisu....when it's usually a 25 year old mexican guy. restaurant cost on 8$ portion of tiramisu, including labor, about 30 cents. and that's including using REAL espresso, the real imported italian "lady fingers", real cocoa, etc.....

just think how bad the mediocre places will ream you by using plain coffee, etc.

restaurant markup on liquor: 300%, with wine as high as 400%.....though that's pushing unethical. if that's what you want to call it.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Running crappy SQL that hits the inventory tables on a database in your MES system without it being validated will take entire production floor DOWN.

[Osce0la]

people prefer to think an Italian master-chef is making their 8$ dollar tiramisu....when it's usually a 25 year old mexican guy. restaurant cost on 8$ portion of tiramisu, including labor, about 30 cents. and that's including using REAL espresso, the real imported italian "lady fingers", real cocoa, etc.....

just think how bad the mediocre places will ream you by using plain coffee, etc.

restaurant markup on liquor: 300%, with wine as high as 400%.....though that's pushing unethical. if that's what you want to call it.
Along the same lines:

There are more Mexicans working at the local Olive Garden than whites, blacks, and italians combined.

[TopDaugIn2000]

Running crappy SQL that hits the inventory tables on a database in your MES system without it being validated will take entire production floor DOWN.

oops

[TopDaugIn2000]

idiot

;)

TELL me about it.

that hurt for DAYS

[King Crimson]

no one italian works at Olive Garden. evar.

[Ike]

Monte carlo simulations will only tell you what you want to hear....not whats really going on.

[TopDaugIn2000]

no one italian eats at Olive Garden. evar.

fixed

[OUstudent4life]

Oklahoma = #1 in per-capita diabetics.

Exercise, people. And don't eat at Olive Garden, especially the one in Norman.

[1stTimeCaller]

MechoShade's Limited Lifetime Warranty is at maximum, a 25 year warranty.

[TopDaugIn2000]

Oklahoma = #1 in per-capita diabetics.

Exercise, people. And don't eat at Olive Garden, especially the one in Norman.

I prefer Johnny Carino's by far

[Hamhock]

I prefer Johnny Carino's by far


Italian nachos?

[TopDaugIn2000]

always have bruschetta to start with. I'll have to try the nachos next time.

[Hamhock]

always have bruschetta to start with. I'll have to try the nachos next time.


single best dish ever served on the face of the earth in the history of the world.

[TUSooner]

"Kamikaze" entered the Japanese language because of an event that occurred on August 14, 1281. Kublai Khan, the first Mongol emperor of China was seeking to conquer Japan. In 1274, an invasion force was repelled by a storm. After that, Kublai twice sent envoys to threaten the Japanese, but the Japanese killed them. In 1281, Kublai sent an invasion force of 140,000 soldiers on 4400 ships from Korea and China. Despite the size of the force, heavy fighting went on for six weeks. Then, on August 14, a typhoon came blowing in and wrecked the Chinese ships. Dead men and horses floated everywhere. The surviving soldiers returned to Korea, and Kublai never again attempted to conquer Japan. Japanese Shinto priests claimed that the storm was a form of godly intervention, calling it “kamikaze,” from "kami" meaning god, spirit, or divinity and "kaze" meaning wind.

[TUSooner]

There are only 74 English people living in London, England.

[BudSooner]

Tony Stewart didn't crap his firesuit at the Glen yesterday.

The temperature can approach 140 degrees inside the car during the race.

A driver can lose from 5 to 10 lbs. during the course of a race.

…a helmet weighs around 3 lbs. But on a banked turn, pulling between 2.5Gs and 5Gs, it can be five times as heavy.

Cheapo toilet paper takes no ****.

[King Crimson]

the caesar salad has nothing to do with Julius Caesar. and was apparently invented in Mexico. serious.

[GDC]

David Chase, creator of the Sopranos, got his start writing for Kolchak:The Night Stalker.

[TUSooner]

the caesar salad has nothing to do with Julius Caesar. and was apparently invented in Mexico. serious.
True!

[Hamhock]

There are only 74 English people living in London, England.


watch you talkin' 'bout, willis?

[mrowl]

Italians doe eat at Johnny Carino's either

fixed

[TopDaugIn2000]

true

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

Fahrenheit-Centigrade conversion: 5F-9C=160
The Police(band) are heavily overrated by some on this board.
I have 5 world record all-tackle fish.
Rudy Giuliani will be the next POTUS.
Just who is this Tony Sinclair, who advertises on TV for Tanqueray?

[SOONER44EVER]

Standing in line behind tiny Asian women at Walmart causes stress.

[Newbomb Turk]

The Police(band) are heavily overrated by some on this board.


william favor isn't a "****** *******".

[OCUDad]

the caesar salad has nothing to do with Julius Caesar. and was apparently invented in Mexico. serious.Panama hats are not made in Panama.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

william favor isn't a "****** *******".And Newbomb Turk's credentials for making such a statement are...

[Newbomb Turk]

And Newbomb Turk's credentials for making such a statement are...

...your statement about "The Police".

[trwxxa]

The theoretical maximum hull speed of a displacement vessel is 1.34 times the square root of the waterline length.

Is that knots, miles per hour or meters per second?

Oh, and "golf" is pronounced the same in all languages.

[RUSH LIMBAUGH is my clone!]

...your statement about "The Police".If ya love 'em that much, it's OK. I like Sting's voice, just not their songs.(cept for Roxanne)

[Okla-homey]

Ardmore, Oklahoma was named for Ardmore, PA, a suburb of Philadelphia and hometown of the lead guy in the RR survey crew who chose the spot for a depot.

[Okla-homey]

Is that knots, miles per hour or meters per second?

Oh, and "golf" is pronounced the same in all languages.

"knots per hour" is redundant.

[OUstud]

Hitler invented irony!

[noleamite]

Lee Corso is a Penis.

[royalfan5]

If you hear a ticking sound-the electric fence is on

When entering a chicken coop-duck immediately

Always climb over fences at the posts

Being left handed is a pain in the *** at times

Ric Ocasek is goofy looking and Ben Orr had the better voice

[mdklatt]

Is that knots, miles per hour or meters per second?




knots

[OCUDad]

"knots per hour" is redundant.So is "3AM in the morning."

[noleamite]

Al Gore invented the internet.

[Frozen Sooner]

If you operate a cherry-picker in the normal course of your business, any injury that you cause while the cherry picker is moving is covered by your automotive liability policy. Any injury you cause while the cherry-picker is parked but is caused through the operation of the cherry-picker is covered by your general liability policy.

It is usually wise to purchase umbrella coverage from whichever insurance company holds your underlying insurances. This prevents coverage disputes.

It is not legal to deny a loan to someone because they are on welfare.

Contributory negligence is not a defense to paying a worker's compensation claim. It is, however, legal grounds for termination if employee negligence results in injury. The same goes for fellow servant defenses.

Navigable water includes any water which is suitable or could be made suitable for interstate commerce. There are streams which are less than a foot deep that are navigable because they contain salmon breeding grounds.

[Blue]

Hams are not easy to extradite.

[GDC]

You cannot practice shaking hands with yourself.

[MiccoMacey]

It takes a big chicken to weigh a ton.

[critical_phil]

Duke University and the Duke family fortune/empire were made possible because old man Duke bought the patent to a cigarette rolling machine from an 18 year old boy....

[TopDaugIn2000]

Duke University and the Duke family fortune/empire were made possible because old dog Duke sold the secret family recipe to an 18 year old boy....


fixed

[Howzit]

More than one shake is playing with it.

[mdklatt]

More than one shake is playing with it.

One? You must have some drippy drawers when you leave the restroom. :eek:

[1stTimeCaller]

concrete naturally breaks about every 10 to 15 feet. Sawcut that stuff people if you don't want cracks.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

What if you use faincy iuuurn sticks?

[IB4OU2]

Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
and
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

[1stTimeCaller]

it'll help but you still need to score the top of the crete

[TopDaugIn2000]

always take the sharp scissors out of your back pocket before squatting to pee

(this is for those that squat)

[IB4OU2]

always take the sharp scissors out of your back pocket before squatting to pee

(this is for those that squat)

Please make sure Pat reads this......it's important!

[Sooner_Bob]

People are idiots.

[1stTimeCaller]

asphalt is a type of concrete

[phead903]

Duke University and the Duke family fortune/empire were made possible because old man Duke bought the patent to a cigarette rolling machine from an 18 year old boy....http://mud.mm-a3.yimg.com/image/748599489 (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_RqxpaeNETPsAVWeJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBjYzZubXM 2BHBvcwM4BHNlYwNzcg--/SIG=1el0biue7/EXP=1155840745/**http%3a//images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view%3fback=http%253A%252F%252Fimages.search.yahoo .com%252Fsearch%252Fimages%253Fp%253Dmortimer%252B duke%2526fr%253DFP-tab-img-t-t500%2526toggle%253D1%2526cop%253D%2526ei%253DUTF-8%26w=150%26h=115%26imgurl=www.angelocarusone.com% 252Ffiles%252Fmoviepics%252F_dukes.jpg%26rurl=http %253A%252F%252Fwww.ascrules.net%252F%26size=5.6kB% 26name=_dukes.jpg%26p=mortimer%2bduke%26type=jpeg% 26no=8%26tt=30%26ei=UTF-8)

I thought it was these guys....:confused:

[mdklatt]

asphalt is a type of concrete

I did not know that.

[1stTimeCaller]

I did not know that.

on the ole blueprints its called Asphaltic Concrete and abreviated as A.C.

[TopDaugIn2000]

why is ****** ******* bleeped?

[GottaHavePride]

I'd bet on Beano. Are there any "******-*******" bleeping ******-*******s that can tell us more?

[NormanPride]

**** ****** *******s.

[mdklatt]

****! This ****ing ****er's ****ed.

[sanantoniosooner]

what
s wrong wit;hb you p3eople?

[badger]

****** *******s

what am I missing... is this answered in faq's?

[badger]

Oklahoma = #1 in per-capita diabetics.

Exercise, people. And don't eat at Olive Garden, especially the one in Norman.
Oklahoma=NOT #1 per capita in diabetics. Georgia is, don't listen to Boren.

But yes, exercise. It'll do ya good.

[sanantoniosooner]

what
s wrong wit;hb you p3eople?
holy crap.

[Geekboy]

How did golf get named 'golf?'

At a country club in Scotland supposedly several million years ago there was a sign that read:

G.... entlemen
O.... nly
L.... adies
F.... orbidden

[OCUDad]

asphalt is a type of concrete*** fault is placing blame on somebody you don't like.

[walkoffsooner]

You cant pick up the spin on a Randy Johnson slider with the naked eye.

[trwxxa]

How did golf get named 'golf?'

At a country club in Scotland supposedly several million years ago there was a sign that read:

G.... entlemen
O.... nly
L.... adies
F.... orbidden

I thought it was because all of the other four letter words were already taken:D

True, BTW.