OUTromBoNado
8/2/2006, 08:39 PM
Come one, come all!
by Mel Gibson
Drunkytown Senior Correspondent
The tourist population of Drunkytown is expected to rise sharply today due to a massive influx of University of Oklahoma football fans. The mass exodous is most likely a result of the announcment today of the dismissal of Rhett Bomar, the starting QB for the Sooners.
The Gazette caught up with one Sooner fan that had already arrived to our bustling metropolis.
"Oh, man! I'm going to get ****faced tonight," said OUTromBoNado. "I've only got one bottle of Red Stripe, but I've got a brand-new handle of Captain Morgan! Tonight, I'm getting drunker than The Hoff."
A noticeable increase in people wearing crimson and cream began around 1:00pm CDT today. However, more and more sightings of Oklahoma fans were taking place as the afternoon worn on.
"I'm gonna get to'e up!" said Okla. fan SoonerDood.
"I think I'm going to take a little stroll down Jager Street," said an angry Boomer_Sooner_sax.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm gonna drink. Very heavily," NormanPride told the Gazette.
As of the printing of this story, all of the local watering holes were filled to capacity with Sooner fans. In fact, there were also numerous sightings of ex-Oklahoma QB Rhett Bomar strolling through town.
The Drunkytown Chamber of Commerce issued the following statement:
"We welcome our depressed Sooner fans with welcome arms. Come here and drink you sorrows away. But don't fret, you'll still kick the **** out of the whorns. Everyone is welcome here. Except that one guy from Baylor in the suburbs drinking Zima. You're not welcome until you drink some real alcohol."
by Mel Gibson
Drunkytown Senior Correspondent
The tourist population of Drunkytown is expected to rise sharply today due to a massive influx of University of Oklahoma football fans. The mass exodous is most likely a result of the announcment today of the dismissal of Rhett Bomar, the starting QB for the Sooners.
The Gazette caught up with one Sooner fan that had already arrived to our bustling metropolis.
"Oh, man! I'm going to get ****faced tonight," said OUTromBoNado. "I've only got one bottle of Red Stripe, but I've got a brand-new handle of Captain Morgan! Tonight, I'm getting drunker than The Hoff."
A noticeable increase in people wearing crimson and cream began around 1:00pm CDT today. However, more and more sightings of Oklahoma fans were taking place as the afternoon worn on.
"I'm gonna get to'e up!" said Okla. fan SoonerDood.
"I think I'm going to take a little stroll down Jager Street," said an angry Boomer_Sooner_sax.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm gonna drink. Very heavily," NormanPride told the Gazette.
As of the printing of this story, all of the local watering holes were filled to capacity with Sooner fans. In fact, there were also numerous sightings of ex-Oklahoma QB Rhett Bomar strolling through town.
The Drunkytown Chamber of Commerce issued the following statement:
"We welcome our depressed Sooner fans with welcome arms. Come here and drink you sorrows away. But don't fret, you'll still kick the **** out of the whorns. Everyone is welcome here. Except that one guy from Baylor in the suburbs drinking Zima. You're not welcome until you drink some real alcohol."