View Full Version : When should it be legal
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:21 PM
to kill someone on an airplane?
As some of you know, I fly nearly every week. Today's flight was an especially stressful affair - starring some loudmouth **** from the Catholic Archives in St. Louis who spent the entire 2 ****ing hours between St. Louis and Washington, DC, talking about "Sister Genevieve and her poor archiving and organization skills" in a voice about 3 decibels louder than the jet engines on full throttle. Half the plane is turning around staring at this ugly-*** liberal looking ho (yeah, short hacked-off hair, no make up, butt ugly, plain wire frame glasses and a really annoying midwest accent to-boot) and she's just oblivious. Of course she's directly behind me. Finally, about a half-hour or so out of DC I had to get up and tell her "lady, half the damn plane knows everything about Sister Genevieve - and we really don't want to. Do you mind lowering your voice a little?" She says "oh, am I loud?" I said "VERY." So she starts whispering and as she whispers her voice starts going up again and within 10 seconds she's back to yelling. I couldn't even read my book.
And another thing. If you're one of those people who has to get on your cell phone the minute the plane touches down I have a suggestion: Get a ****ing life. What, your call can't wait until you get into the terminal? Your wife is gonna think you're out boffing bimbos if you don't call her before the plane gets to the taxi-way? And you're talking on a telephone - so you don't have to yell loud enough for the party on the other line to hear you without a phone.
I am going to be drinking heavily this evening. And it's you people's fault.
SicEmBaylor
7/31/2006, 03:24 PM
to kill someone on an airplane?
As some of you know, I fly nearly every week. Today's flight was an especially stressful affair - starring some loudmouth **** from the Catholic Archives in St. Louis who spent the entire 2 ****ing hours between St. Louis and Washington, DC, talking about "Sister Genevieve and her poor archiving and organization skills" in a voice about 3 decibels louder than the jet engines on full throttle. Half the plane is turning around staring at this ugly-*** liberal looking ho (yeah, short hacked-off hair, no make up, butt ugly, plain wire frame glasses and a really annoying midwest accent to-boot) and she's just oblivious. Of course she's directly behind me. Finally, about a half-hour or so out of DC I had to get up and tell her "lady, half the damn plane knows everything about Sister Genevieve - and we really don't want to. Do you mind lowering your voice a little?" She says "oh, am I loud?" I said "VERY." So she starts whispering and as she whispers her voice starts going up again and within 10 seconds she's back to yelling. I couldn't even read my book.
And another thing. If you're one of those people who has to get on your cell phone the minute the plane touches down I have a suggestion: Get a ****ing life. What, your call can't wait until you get into the terminal? Your wife is gonna think you're out boffing bimbos if you don't call her before the plane gets to the taxi-way? And you're talking on a telephone - so you don't have to yell loud enough for the party on the other line to hear you without a phone.
I am going to be drinking heavily this evening. And it's you people's fault.
I can beat that. I was on a commercial flight a couple of years ago with the entire OSU basketball (I believe it was basketball) team.
colleyvillesooner
7/31/2006, 03:25 PM
Why has no-one pitched this to TV execs yet? Come on people!! With all the people on here, someone has to know someone that could hook this up.
LilSooner
7/31/2006, 03:25 PM
Hey at least your pilot wasn't drunk.
Tear Down This Wall
7/31/2006, 03:28 PM
Dude, I hate flying, and I mean I loathe it. It has nothing to do with heights, it's just the whole scene. No matter what's happening, you can't change it or walk away from it. Being cooped up like that sucks.
Hamhock
7/31/2006, 03:28 PM
I couldn't even read my book.
Who knew?
;)
NormanPride
7/31/2006, 03:31 PM
What airline?
KC//CRIMSON
7/31/2006, 03:34 PM
to kill someone on an airplane?
As some of you know, I fly nearly every week. Today's flight was an especially stressful affair - starring some loudmouth **** from the Catholic Archives in St. Louis who spent the entire 2 ****ing hours between St. Louis and Washington, DC, talking about "Sister Genevieve and her poor archiving and organization skills" in a voice about 3 decibels louder than the jet engines on full throttle. Half the plane is turning around staring at this ugly-*** liberal looking ho (yeah, short hacked-off hair, no make up, butt ugly, plain wire frame glasses and a really annoying midwest accent to-boot) and she's just oblivious. Of course she's directly behind me. Finally, about a half-hour or so out of DC I had to get up and tell her "lady, half the damn plane knows everything about Sister Genevieve - and we really don't want to. Do you mind lowering your voice a little?" She says "oh, am I loud?" I said "VERY." So she starts whispering and as she whispers her voice starts going up again and within 10 seconds she's back to yelling. I couldn't even read my book.
And another thing. If you're one of those people who has to get on your cell phone the minute the plane touches down I have a suggestion: Get a ****ing life. What, your call can't wait until you get into the terminal? Your wife is gonna think you're out boffing bimbos if you don't call her before the plane gets to the taxi-way? And you're talking on a telephone - so you don't have to yell loud enough for the party on the other line to hear you without a phone.
I am going to be drinking heavily this evening. And it's you people's fault.
iPod and Earbuds.
your welcome.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:34 PM
Hey at least your pilot wasn't drunk.
A drunken pilot would be preferable.
Every sentence she spoke had to end with a "y'know?"
"Sister Genevieve - some of us call her Gen y'know? - tee hee - bless her heart - tee hee - got so angry with me last week when I told her that her organizational skills were sorely lacking, y'know?" "And Sister Genevieve and I went to the cathedral in Chicago, y'know, and it was just so gorgeous and stunning, y'know?"
And all louder than a ****ing Who concert. My blood pressure has to be spiked.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:36 PM
iPod and Earbuds.
your welcome.
Actually, I will be visiting the Bose store in Columbia, MD, this evening to purchase a set of those noise cancelling headphones. $349 is a small price to pay to save myself from a freaking coronary - or jail.
Howzit
7/31/2006, 03:37 PM
iPod and Earbuds.
your welcome.
yeah, too bad Beano couldn't give you an...oh...never mind.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:38 PM
yeah, too bad Beano couldn't give you an...oh...never mind.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but you're avatar is like really gay, y'know?
fadada1
7/31/2006, 03:39 PM
SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!
i don't think you're suppose to yell it.
BeetDigger
7/31/2006, 03:39 PM
I can beat that. I got stood up by a gal who said she was going to go to Branson with me.
That's what you meant. :D
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 03:43 PM
"Sister Genevieve - some of us call her Gen y'know? - tee hee - bless her heart - tee hee - got so angry with me last week when I told her that her organizational skills were sorely lacking, y'know?" "And Sister Genevieve and I went to the cathedral in Chicago, y'know, and it was just so gorgeous and stunning, y'know?"
Have I ever mentioned I do an absolutely killer Midwestern accent? (BSG, back me up on this.) I am totally gonna memorize this and recite it for you at the first tailgate... in character. Oh yeah. This is gonna be awesome.
jkm, the stolen pifwafwi
7/31/2006, 03:44 PM
Actually, I will be visiting the Bose store in Columbia, MD, this evening to purchase a set of those noise cancelling headphones. $349 is a small price to pay to save myself from a freaking coronary - or jail.
eh, i'd go with the shure earbuds. when i had the headphones people were always touching me to get my attention. with the earbuds, they assumed i was ignoring them, which i was.
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 03:44 PM
Have I ever mentioned I do an absolutely killer Midwestern accent? (BSG, back me up on this.) I am totally gonna memorize this and recite it for you at the first tailgate... in character. Oh yeah. This is gonna be awesome.
I can already hear it...
'...that would be super!...'
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:45 PM
Have I ever mentioned I do an absolutely killer Midwestern accent? (BSG, back me up on this.) I am totally gonna memorize this and recite it for you at the first tailgate... in character. Oh yeah. This is gonna be awesome.
I will kill you. D-E-D-D Dedd.
KABOOKIE
7/31/2006, 03:46 PM
When should it be legal to kill someone on an airplane?
When md tries to take the controls and says, "My plane!"
85Sooner
7/31/2006, 03:47 PM
When they are wearing a turbin
Jus Kiddin
Howzit
7/31/2006, 03:47 PM
I'm sure you've heard this before, but you're avatar is like really gay, y'know?
Actually, what I heard was more like "BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!A"
Pricetag
7/31/2006, 03:52 PM
I was on a flight a couple of weeks back that was running way behind schedule, so much so that the pilot got on the PA and asked everyone who had a connecting flight (me being one of them) to please raise their hand. About 15-20 folks from the entire flight raised their hands. He asked the other folks without connecting flights if they could please let those of us making connections exit first.
Strangely enough, not one single person let anyone off early--the plane exited normally, row by row from the front. I wanted to kill all those inconsiderate a-holes. I had to sprint across the airport and barely made my flight.
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 03:54 PM
I will kill you. D-E-D-D Dedd.
You'll have to catch me first and I bet your quickness skills are sorely lacking, tee hee, y'know? Bless your heart.
Scott D
7/31/2006, 03:55 PM
you know you ornery muh****ah, if you was a US Marshall you coulda shot em if they'd been annoying enough to everyone on the plane to lie and say they were a terrorist ;)
KC//CRIMSON
7/31/2006, 03:57 PM
Actually, I will be visiting the Bose store in Columbia, MD, this evening to purchase a set of those noise cancelling headphones. $349 is a small price to pay to save myself from a freaking coronary - or jail.
Cool. But $349 will buy you a whole lotta iPod.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:58 PM
You'll have to catch me first and I bet your quickness skills are sorely lacking, tee hee, y'know? Bless your heart.
Just you axe my kids about my quickness skills. From here to the fence, I'm chained lightning baby. If you can make it over the fence, you're home free. So far, the fence has never been touched......
Howzit
7/31/2006, 03:58 PM
Just you axe my kids about my quickness skills. From here to the fence, I'm chained lightning baby. If you can make it over the fence, you're home free. So far, the fence has never been touched......
Oh that's right...you won the 5th grade 100 yard dash in 1911, right?
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 03:59 PM
Just you axe my kids about my quickness skills. From here to the fence, I'm chained lightning baby. If you can make it over the fence, you're home free. So far, the fence has never been touched......
I'll run in super-slow-motion just to make sure, Tiger. Grrrrr, baby.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 03:59 PM
Cool. But $349 will buy you a whole lotta iPod.
Dude, I've got a free ipod from Beano (well I borrowed it, and he hasn't asked for it back yet, so I guess I've got it) and I tried to use it a couple times and couldn't figure it out.
Those Bose headphones plugged into my laptop are pretty sweet. And they cancel all the outside noise too.
SicEmBaylor
7/31/2006, 04:00 PM
People turn into satanic legionaries on planes. And these are the same *******s that when you go to the post office will stand there for 20 minutes waiting for you to get to the door so they can hold it open for you.
I've never undrestood what it is about a post office that everyone feels compelled to act like they have class for 5 minutes and airports which have the complete opposite effect.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 04:02 PM
I'll run in super-slow-motion just to make sure, Tiger. Grrrrr, baby.
Oh yeah, sure, you betcha.
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:03 PM
It'll be just super! Don't put me in the woodchipper now.
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:12 PM
I can just see it...
Dean's dome all sweaty and red from too much Crown running after the cat-like VK...
Dean finally catching her because she's too dammed drunk to run anymore...
The two of them wollerin' around in the grass getting caught in the barbed-wire fence...
Fabio? Is that you?
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:20 PM
I can just see it...
Dean's dome all sweaty and red from too much Crown running after the cat-like VK...
Dean finally catching her because she's too dammed drunk to run anymore...
The two of them wollerin' around in the grass getting caught in the barbed-wire fence...
Fabio? Is that you?
Who's the Harlequin Romance writer now, beyotch?
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 04:26 PM
Who's the Harlequin Romance writer now, beyotch?
No doubt. Tell her to go on.....
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:28 PM
Something about heaving chests and throbbing manhood?
Am I close?
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:28 PM
And this time, mention something about "ripped bodice" and "ample bosom." TIA.
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:29 PM
ARRRRGH!
And this time, mention something about "ripped bodice" and "ample bosom." TIA.
When I was in television my stage name was Rip Bodice.
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:29 PM
Oooh!
Don't forget 'soft mound'...
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:30 PM
I wonder if Dean's ever had to lock one of his own threads before.
Hatfield
7/31/2006, 04:31 PM
story is a lie.
dean don't read.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 04:32 PM
Y'all are bad, bad girls.
My kinda girls......
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:33 PM
'...she took him in her hand and felt his enthusiasm growing by the second...'
Howzit
7/31/2006, 04:34 PM
When I was in television my stage name was Rip Sphincter.
there you go punkin.
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 04:35 PM
'...she took him in her hands and felt his enthusiasm growing by the second...'
fixed
there you go punkin.
Well, I don't like to brag.
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:38 PM
Well, I don't like to brag.
So thankfully you can't. ;)
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 04:41 PM
I'm just not sure I'd be bragging on my ripped sphincter. I mean if it's all Pat's got, then go with it, but I'm thinking he's gotta have something better....
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:45 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/lice.jpg
I'm just not sure I'd be bragging on my ripped sphincter. I mean if it's all Pat's got, then go with it, but I'm thinking he's gotta have something better....
I'm the ripper, not the ripee!!! :mad:
Wait a minute....
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:50 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/bling_bling.jpg
C&CDean
7/31/2006, 04:53 PM
I'm surrounded by perverts.
I'm headed downtown to drink. If you can meet me in Fells Point, MD in about 45 minutes I'll buy you a beer. Anybody.
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:54 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/flower.JPG
Viking Kitten
7/31/2006, 04:55 PM
How freaked out would Dean be if I just showed up?
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 04:58 PM
How freaked out would Dean be if I just showed up?
Speshelly if you were wearing a frock.
:mack:
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 05:01 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/alligator.JPG
Oldnslo
7/31/2006, 05:03 PM
I'm still thinking about VK running in slo-mo.
rawr.
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 05:05 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/chest_bones.jpg
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 05:11 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/finger.jpg
BeetDigger
7/31/2006, 05:13 PM
I'm surrounded by perverts.
I'm headed downtown to drink. If you can meet me in Fells Point, MD in about 45 minutes I'll buy you a beer. Anybody.
Heh, Fells Point. What was that TV show that was filmed there?
Be sure to wave at the ESPN Zone as you drive past the inner harbor.
Heh, Fells Point. What was that TV show that was filmed there?
Queer Eye for the Postman?
BeetDigger
7/31/2006, 05:36 PM
Queer Eye for the Postman?
No, that's not it. But it would explain why Dean is making a beeline for it. :texan:
IB4OU2
7/31/2006, 05:40 PM
I'm still thinking about VK running in slo-mo.
rawr.
I'm having a Baywatch flashback.......:cool:
BlondeSoonerGirl
7/31/2006, 05:46 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/burns.jpg
Sooner_Bob
7/31/2006, 05:53 PM
http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/submissions/burns.jpg
That is one hilarious website . . .
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