XingTheRubicon
7/29/2006, 03:52 PM
Sooooo, I'm the back of a Chrysler Concorde with two 2 chicks. We're taking them back to the North Shore from Metairie. One of them, the one I was supposed to meet up with, is smokin' hot. The other one, well, there's been some fuzzy arguments about the other one's looks. I maintain she was a 6 and very doable. My buddy, to this day, swears she looked like Jeff Fahey.
We were about to enter the Causeway. The Causeway (Lake Pontchartrain bridge) was/is the largest over water highway bridge in the world. 24 miles.
http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/5995/pontchartrainqm9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
OK, first off, only 2 people on Earth are drunker than me. Ted Kennedy....and the guy that's driving us home. I noticed the chick in the front seat's head had disappeared. Her head was near the lap region of the driver. I could see him smirking in the rear view mirror. (I found out later, the smirk was just confusion as they were both fast asleep)
Anyway, what I "thought" was going on got me pretty fired up. I started falling in love with the hot chick on the left. So I'm slobbering and groping and she's putting up a pretty good defense and what the hell? I thought I saw sparks but whatever she starts coming after me now. My concern for us flying off the bridge paid off and just as I couldn't get more excited....something started pulling at my pants.
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4313/faheynu6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
I had drank about 66 schlitzes so my pants were pretty tight, but someone was trying to unbutton them. I looked over for a second and the other chick was tired to being left out. BTW, I was later told that I looked like I tried to resuscitate a seal that was wearing chanel lipstick. I think it was in my hair, anyway, hot chick was none too pleased concerning the sudden turn of events. I was making a feeble attempt to mirror her concern. (zipper noise) Huge sigh from her.
If this isn't OK with you, oh gawd (sparks again) then I'll tell her to stop. Well it's not OK with me, said hot chick. Hmmmm. I told her to stop.
Awkward silence.
I start guilt tripping hot chick with my "you've ruined my life" face. She falls for it. Hot chick leans over and says "what the hell, tell her to come here." I am officially Burt Reynolds.....for about 20 seconds. The car stops and is put into Park. "We're here." To this day, I still hate that phrase.
Hot chick gets out one way, the other chick gets out the other way.....and then just like that, they were gone. The longest bridge in the world was not quite long enough. Tough ride back.
That is called being teased to the point of lack of sleep.
We were about to enter the Causeway. The Causeway (Lake Pontchartrain bridge) was/is the largest over water highway bridge in the world. 24 miles.
http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/5995/pontchartrainqm9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
OK, first off, only 2 people on Earth are drunker than me. Ted Kennedy....and the guy that's driving us home. I noticed the chick in the front seat's head had disappeared. Her head was near the lap region of the driver. I could see him smirking in the rear view mirror. (I found out later, the smirk was just confusion as they were both fast asleep)
Anyway, what I "thought" was going on got me pretty fired up. I started falling in love with the hot chick on the left. So I'm slobbering and groping and she's putting up a pretty good defense and what the hell? I thought I saw sparks but whatever she starts coming after me now. My concern for us flying off the bridge paid off and just as I couldn't get more excited....something started pulling at my pants.
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4313/faheynu6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
I had drank about 66 schlitzes so my pants were pretty tight, but someone was trying to unbutton them. I looked over for a second and the other chick was tired to being left out. BTW, I was later told that I looked like I tried to resuscitate a seal that was wearing chanel lipstick. I think it was in my hair, anyway, hot chick was none too pleased concerning the sudden turn of events. I was making a feeble attempt to mirror her concern. (zipper noise) Huge sigh from her.
If this isn't OK with you, oh gawd (sparks again) then I'll tell her to stop. Well it's not OK with me, said hot chick. Hmmmm. I told her to stop.
Awkward silence.
I start guilt tripping hot chick with my "you've ruined my life" face. She falls for it. Hot chick leans over and says "what the hell, tell her to come here." I am officially Burt Reynolds.....for about 20 seconds. The car stops and is put into Park. "We're here." To this day, I still hate that phrase.
Hot chick gets out one way, the other chick gets out the other way.....and then just like that, they were gone. The longest bridge in the world was not quite long enough. Tough ride back.
That is called being teased to the point of lack of sleep.