my family is really bringing me down

[oumartin]

I took a new job 3 years ago to be closer to family.
well since moving back we don't see them any more often then when we lived across state and now that i am going back across state I am getting the guilt trip and tears.
my mom is the worse. she comes to see my kids about once every two months cuz she is too busy with her boyfriend. today she broke down cuz we are gonna be moving away..

get a grip.

[Tailwind]

They'll get over it. Just don't pay them any mind.....games y'know?

[sanantoniosooner]

We moved because of family.

Away that is.

[Tailwind]

eggzachary!

[BajaOklahoma]

You do what you have to do.
Remind the family that they can ask the kids to spend part of the summer vacation with them - it can be a wonderful time to build a close relatinship.

[LoyalFan]

A note of caution...

My beautiful and beloved granddaughter, now age 12, used to spend part of each summer with my ex-wife and her second husband. If you opt to send minor children to spend time with mom, check out her "boyfriend" carefully.

You see, there are predators out there who have dated, even married or moved in with, women in order to gain access to their children or grandkids.

Last summer, my ex's second spouse was sentenced to 20 years in a Texas prison for molesting my granddaughter over a period of 5 years or so during her visits. My former spouse was pretending ignorance for fear of facing another divorce. The resulting estrangement of mother and son is a tragedy.

My g'daughter is doing well; bright, loving, and a refined young lady, but there WAS damage done that may evidence itself later in life. Her chances for a normal relationship with a man are may be poor unless her inner strength and the loving support she's received do the trick.

Please understand that I'm not tarring all with the same brush, just offering a word of caution.

If you send your kids for a visit, find a way to let them know that they must CALL YOU at the slightest sign of inappropriate behavior. Be careful, for you don't want to instill unwarranted fear in your kids or cause them to arrive for their visit feeling at risk. After all, this "boyfriend" might be the greatest guy in the world, next to Dad, and they might well benefit from being around him.
It's a tough balancing act, to be certain, but you must take steps to protect your kids.

LoyalFan

[RacerX]

http://www.csom.org/pubs/mythsfacts.html

[jk the sooner fan]

wow

[NormanPride]

A note of caution...

My beautiful and beloved granddaughter, now age 12, used to spend part of each summer with my ex-wife and her second husband. If you opt to send minor children to spend time with mom, check out her "boyfriend" carefully.

You see, there are predators out there who have dated, even married or moved in with, women in order to gain access to their children or grandkids.

Last summer, my ex's second spouse was sentenced to 20 years in a Texas prison for molesting my granddaughter over a period of 5 years or so during her visits. My former spouse was pretending ignorance for fear of facing another divorce. The resulting estrangement of mother and son is a tragedy.

My g'daughter is doing well; bright, loving, and a refined young lady, but there WAS damage done that may evidence itself later in life. Her chances for a normal relationship with a man are may be poor unless her inner strength and the loving support she's received do the trick.

Please understand that I'm not tarring all with the same brush, just offering a word of caution.

If you send your kids for a visit, find a way to let them know that they must CALL YOU at the slightest sign of inappropriate behavior. Be careful, for you don't want to instill unwarranted fear in your kids or cause them to arrive for their visit feeling at risk. After all, this "boyfriend" might be the greatest guy in the world, next to Dad, and they might well benefit from being around him.
It's a tough balancing act, to be certain, but you must take steps to protect your kids.

LoyalFan

I pray the Lord would forgive me for what I would do to someone like that, because I know society wouldn't. :mad:

[MamaMia]

LoyalFan,
I am so sorry to hear that. My prayers are with your granddaughter. My eldest granddaughter is a bit younger that yours. Not only have we have had 'the inappropriate touching' talk a couple of times, but I will try to nonchalantly work it in a conversation every once in a while, as a reminder.


I took a new job 3 years ago to be closer to family.
well since moving back we don't see them any more often then when we lived across state and now that i am going back across state I am getting the guilt trip and tears.
my mom is the worse. she comes to see my kids about once every two months cuz she is too busy with her boyfriend. today she broke down cuz we are gonna be moving away..

get a grip.Is your whole family in Woodward not visiting? I would love it if my grandkids lived here in Woodward. Just this summer, my granddaughter, who lives in Edmond has been here 4 times, for 6 days at a time. She has piano lessons in Oklahoma City once a week, or else I would keep her. :)

[oumartin]

yeah mom, both of our families are pretty much here in ww. but my side never comes around and they are the ones complaining of me moving cuz they'll never get to see the kids..
the wife's mom actually babysits our youngest some and we see them alot more. but neither make a huge effort to see them much..
now my wife got all crappy today when the for sale sign went up.

[MamaMia]

yeah mom, both of our families are pretty much here in ww. but my side never comes around and they are the ones complaining of me moving cuz they'll never get to see the kids..
the wife's mom actually babysits our youngest some and we see them alot more. but neither make a huge effort to see them much..
now my wife got all crappy today when the for sale sign went up.Its nice of your mom-in-law to babysit. If your wife is unhappy, are you sure this moving away thing is the right decision? We hardly have any family left here, but its still home, and a nice place to live.

[oumartin]

shes unhappy regardless. she was a better wife away from her family anyhow and she aint going right away anyhow..

[MamaMia]

shes unhappy regardless. she was a better wife away from her family anyhow and she aint going right away anyhow..
a better wife? You do know the high school type of passion doesn't last forever, don't you? At some point you have to be happy with your friendship and a little marital hanky panky. ;)

[oumartin]

she was a better person away from her family..
she gets around them and she becomes a monster!

when she has to make due in another town she grows up some!!!

oh, but high school feelings can last.. trust me...
she still feels the same toward me as she did in high school (INDIFFERENT)

[Newbomb Turk]

good luck martin.

I moved away from my family in '89, and came here to Oklahoma. I was single at the time and always planned to move back. Now that I am married and have a kid, I'm kind of set here.

My family (parents, brothers & sisters) still gives me grief every time I go back to see them. I do miss my them, but sometimes you gotta do what is best for you.

[oumartin]

where are you at anyhow Turk?

we lived in this area we are going back to before and enjoyed it.. but thought we would move back to be closer to family.. Well family is fine and all but this is more money and still a familiar place to us.

[MamaMia]

she was a better person away from her family..
she gets around them and she becomes a monster!

when she has to make due in another town she grows up some!!!

oh, but high school feelings can last.. trust me...
she still feels the same toward me as she did in high school (INDIFFERENT):D

Good luck to you and your family martin. I hate to see you go.

[Newbomb Turk]

where are you at anyhow Turk?

We live in NW OKC



Good luck to you and your family martin. I hate to see you go.

I'd hate to be the people where he is going! ;)

[oumartin]

well we'll be back every other weekend mom..

oh, you live down there in the city.. Thank goodness i'm not moving there ;)

[Newbomb Turk]

oh, you live down there in the city.. Thank goodness i'm not moving there ;)

that makes two of us! :D

Did you ever come down for the drag boat races?

[oumartin]

actually i took my youngest down to okc that sat to chucky cheese. my oldest had a friend over so he didnt' wanna go and the youngest couldn't hold up to the sun. but we did have fun.
we saw em racing though.

[Newbomb Turk]

actually i took my youngest down to okc that sat to chucky cheese.

oh boy - Chucky Cheese. The only thing worse is Incredible Pizza.

but as long as the kids have fun, it's kind of worth it.