Unrecommendations

[mdklatt]

Creative turns of phrase used in letters of the recommendation and the like when the recommendee is worthless:

No man would be better for the job.

XXX is an inspiration to others. His coworkers always felt they needed to work twice as hard when he was around.

[SoonerWood]

I can't possibly recommend this person any more.

[Okla-homey]

Hardly ever waits too long for restroom breaks.

[etouffee]

you would be very fortunate to get this person to work for you

[Okla-homey]

Absolutely no risk of ever paying this man for overtime.

[frankensooner]

What he lacks in imagination, he makes up for in stupidity.

[IB4OU2]

Knows how to effectively use PhotosShop.

[Okla-homey]

Completely honest. Only calls in sick on Mondays and always brings a doctors note afterwards.

[Mjcpr]

Will not hesitate to go to war for $43.60 worth of company money.

[Okla-homey]

Has never been in a fistfight at work he started.

[toast]

knows a lot about business and not afraid to let others know

[mdklatt]

Will not hesitate to go to war for $43.60 worth of company money.

Simply brilliant.

[frankensooner]

He hardly ever brings stool samples in casserole dishes to work.

[Vaevictis]

As much as we would like to, for liability reasons, we cannot deviate from our policy of providing only dates of employ and salary history.

(I've actually used that one.)

[1stTimeCaller]

Simply brilliant.

being as I now make over $6k a year more than I did with that company that cheated me out of $43.60 and am much happier I would say that it was a brilliant move on my part and a dumb one on theirs.

1TC - positive $6036.40 on the deal
stupid company - ($14,956.40) on the deal

*edit* it wasn't their money. It should have been mine for the mileage. It was the principle behind the deal and guess what? Those jagoffs have had to lay folks off since I've left(not that I had anything to do with that) and they still haven't got a new job from the day I started to today.

[mdklatt]

being as I now make over $6k a year more than I did with that company that cheated me out of $43.60 and am much happier I would say that it was a brilliant move on my part and a dumb one on theirs.

1TC - positive $6036.40 on the deal
stupid company - ($14,956.40) on the deal

None of this changes the fact that Pat is a funny ****er.

[frankensooner]

You might want to get Stan to help you with your figures there...;)

[1stTimeCaller]

You might want to get Stan to help you with your figures there...;)

please enlighten me

[1stTimeCaller]

very skilled in internet usage and the use of proxies so the boss can't see what he is looking at.

[etouffee]

As much as we would like to, for liability reasons, we cannot deviate from our policy of providing only dates of employ and salary history.

(I've actually used that one.)I said something very similar once. Some dumbass that we fired had the nerve to list me as a reference. I stuck to the script, but made sure my inflection made my opinion of the guy abundantly clear.

[12]

He must be an excellent cook, because his office sure smells spicey.

[Okla-homey]

being as I now make over $6k a year more than I did with that company that cheated me out of $43.60 and am much happier I would say that it was a brilliant move on my part and a dumb one on theirs.

1TC - positive $6036.40 on the deal
stupid company - ($14,956.40) on the deal

*edit* it wasn't their money. It should have been mine for the mileage. It was the principle behind the deal and guess what? Those jagoffs have had to lay folks off since I've left(not that I had anything to do with that) and they still haven't got a new job from the day I started to today.

Methinks thou dost protest too much;)