Whoppers told by the one of my coworkers

[Veritas]

I have listened to each of these stories with a somewhat straight face as John (not his real name) related these incredible tales.

John's 340 Duster is capable of 190 miles per hour. In the quarter mile. This amazing vehicle will also lift the front end 3 feet off the ground in each gear.

John was a hacker for the military. He carried a computer on his body with a split keypad strapped across his chest and MAC10's on shoulder slings.

While a hacker for the military, John wrote a virus that is still on the "Top 10" list of most dangerous viruses. This virus functions by setting the value of a computers BIOS to zero.

John served in Desert Storm, where once in a battle situation he picked up a 50 caliber machine gun from its mounts and walked through the field of battle carrying this weapon and shooting Iraqis.

On his recent trip to the doctor, John's grip strength was tested at 490 lbs of pressure. Per finger. He was informed that that is enough to crush a human skull and he needs to be careful.

John is so accomplished at multiple forms of martial arts that he is not allowed to practice at any of the dojos here because he's just too good.

John's girlfriend recently called the police during a domestic dispute. John got into a scuffle with the officers, whereupon he broke three of one officers ribs. They were just about to arrest him and haul him away when he flashed his "Marine badge." So they let him go due to his military service.

In a parallel version of this story, John is arrested and spends the weekend in a strait-jacket and padded room. But he and the girl are really getting along well after all that.

A few months back, John's girl was at the dentist. When the dentist touched his tool to one of her teeth, the tooth "exploded." The dentist figured out that all of her teeth were hollow and prone to exploding, so over two weekend he replaced all of her teeth.

John decided a few years back that he'd put on so much muscle that he looked funny. The solution to this was to gain about 50 pounds of fat, just so that he "looked proportional."

Unbeknownst to me, John and I lift weights together on a daily basis. I'm pretty strong, but he's quite a bit stronger.

[CatHunter]

With an H.

[12]

My doctor never gives me a grip strength test. I'm calling Captain Bullshirt on that one.

[mdklatt]

the dentist touched his tool to one of her teeth

<giggle>

[slickdawg]

Assualt a cop and walk? Nope. BULLSH**

[Howzit]

In a parallel version of this story, John is arrested and spends the weekend in a strait-jacket and padded room. But he and the girl are really getting along well after all that.

I know a guy this happened to, only it was after he cut a neighbor's tree down.

[Newbomb Turk]

Assualt a cop and walk? Nope. BULLSH**

the cops were probably afraid it would turn into a "Rambo" situation.

[NormanPride]

<giggle>

You know how I know you're gay? You <giggle>.

[TheHumanAlphabet]

ROTFLMAO!

How do YOU keep a straight face...

Veritas, you need to corrdinate with JoHn and go loft weights with him...Ask him when he would like to go lift and see what he does?

[RFH Shakes]

Is your co-workers name really Chuck....


As in Chuck NORRIS!:D

[OU4LIFE]

I have listened to each of these stories with a somewhat straight face as John (not his real name) related these incredible tales.

John's 340 Duster is capable of 190 miles per hour. In the quarter mile. This amazing vehicle will also lift the front end 3 feet off the ground in each gear.

John was a hacker for the military. He carried a computer on his body with a split keypad strapped across his chest and MAC10's on shoulder slings.

While a hacker for the military, John wrote a virus that is still on the "Top 10" list of most dangerous viruses. This virus functions by setting the value of a computers BIOS to zero.

John served in Desert Storm, where once in a battle situation he picked up a 50 caliber machine gun from its mounts and walked through the field of battle carrying this weapon and shooting Iraqis.

On his recent trip to the doctor, John's grip strength was tested at 490 lbs of pressure. Per finger. He was informed that that is enough to crush a human skull and he needs to be careful.

John is so accomplished at multiple forms of martial arts that he is not allowed to practice at any of the dojos here because he's just too good.

John's girlfriend recently called the police during a domestic dispute. John got into a scuffle with the officers, whereupon he broke three of one officers ribs. They were just about to arrest him and haul him away when he flashed his "Marine badge." So they let him go due to his military service.

In a parallel version of this story, John is arrested and spends the weekend in a strait-jacket and padded room. But he and the girl are really getting along well after all that.

A few months back, John's girl was at the dentist. When the dentist touched his tool to one of her teeth, the tooth "exploded." The dentist figured out that all of her teeth were hollow and prone to exploding, so over two weekend he replaced all of her teeth.

John decided a few years back that he'd put on so much muscle that he looked funny. The solution to this was to gain about 50 pounds of fat, just so that he "looked proportional."

Unbeknownst to me, John and I lift weights together on a daily basis. I'm pretty strong, but he's quite a bit stronger.


we found Bruce.

[RacerX]

A guy that works here finished his dad's open heart surgery. The doctor's didn't know what they were doing.

[NYSooner1355]

I worked with a guy almost as good as that...

some were very similar stories...

including:

the famous story about the jizz in the cookies and the vcr tape in Desert Storm? He was in the tent (I sh*t you not, he told me this) when the guy received it and they were watching the video, eating the cookies - the guy flips out and my co-worker pulls his firearm and shoots the guy to get him to calm down (mind you he was an AF ammo guy)

He once took out a whole division of Iraqi's that overran an American airfield then before Gen. Schwarzkopf was given word of it, was told to force the bodies into a pit using whatever heavy equipment was available...

His father (rest his soul) captured 80-some odd Germans (single handedly) in the Battle of the Bulge - the greatest irony of this story? He is Jewish!

The guy drove as a "freelance" trucker for Budweiser delivering beer illegaly over the border into Canada - the thing is he would cross the border at an unknown crossing (somewhere in Michigan or something), and never get caught...oh yeah, he would do this leaving Long Island on a friday and crossing over making the delivery and returning by Sunday morning - almost every weekend.

He once shot a US Army Captain in Desert Storm

oh there are more!

[BoogercountySooner]

Has he beaten CP in Basketball yet?

[royalfan5]

Sounds like my high school english teacher.

[yermom]

in my younger days i seemed to have attracted this type of person.

[mdklatt]

in my younger days i seemed to have attracted this type of person.


:dolemite:?

[homerSimpsonsBrain]

"And I'm married to .... Morgan Fairchild. Whom I've slept with." Tommy Flanagian

[achiro]

<giggle>
heh, me too

[yermom]

:dolemite:?

he's got nothing on these guys

[achiro]

So what the hell type of chemical weapons were these desert storm vets exposed to that makes them ****ing insane!?!?!:texan: :D

[colleyvillesooner]

I used to have a friend who told lies to get attention, back around the grade school-high school days. It probably stemmed from his mother being murdered when he was 4. That kinda permanently messed him up, but he went so far over the top. He had a sister who we all had met once, but she lived somewhere else.

One day, I guess he's not getting enough attention, and lets everyone know in Church youth group that his sister died in a car accident. My mom starts inquiring about the funeral, and the day he says it is going to be on is way to far out to be reasonable. One thing leads to another, my mom calls his Dad to find out where to send flowers for the funeral, and the Dad says "What funeral?" That's right, she's not dead. Totally fine living in another state. It was kinda the driving force for us to finally stop associating with this guy.

A few others:

Anything that you thought was cool growing up, he had one...in "The Big Room" aka his Dad's office that was always locked when his dad was at work.

Super Nintendo? Would have loved to play it, but in the big room.

Awesome Water guns? One problem, big room.

Hoverboard from Back to the Future 2? Rides it all the time when we're not there, but right now? Big room.

He went into the Army after high school and we show up randomly at my parents house.

Best lie from the Army: During training he jumped out of an airplane and broke his leg on the landing, bone came through the leg. But the doctors are so much more advanced in the Army, there's no scar.

[BoogercountySooner]

Guy at my work tells amazing motorcycle stories. He claimed once that he put his Goldwing on cruise control at 70 MPH got in the groove in the pavement and took a nap for 70 miles.

The other day he said he hit a deer and killed it on his Goldwing. It bounced off of his faring and did no damage. Amazing huh!

[yermom]

i need to get a Goldwing

[49r]

I once worked with a guy who moonlighted as a limo driver.

He liked to tell the story about the time he was driving a bachelorette party around to different bars. At the end of the night, they invited him back to their hotel room to party, whereby he proceeded to "bang" all of the bridesmaids, and finally the bride herself! Once he finished with all 7 of them, he started back at the other end of the line and went around again. He mentioned something about firing blanks after about #12 or so.

Oh, *and* he was a Navy SEAL.

Why is it these guys always seem to have been/currently are in the military? Rhino, he called himself...

[PhilTLL]

Bill Brasky is the father of every child at this Little League game. One time we went out looking for a bar, and Brasky pulled into the forest, parked the car, and said "Now we wait." Sure enough, two years later, someone had built a bar around us!

[Pricetag]

I had a buddy in high school who was like this. It was the damndest thing--he was a good guy, and had plenty to offer, but still felt the need to tell whoppers.

Here were some of his best:

One time, he wondered to his dad what it would feel like to be shot, so his dad shot him in the foot with a .22.

One time, he went skydiving and refused to pull the rip cord. The instructor caught up to him and pulled it for him.

He was called to court for a paternity test by a girl he didn't even know.

On his motorcycle (he never had one), he was chased by and successfully evaded local police on a meandering chase through our home town, all with a hot girl on the back.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

PQ told me this story about this huge tumor in his leg. Says it's stuck to his quad muscle.

He also said it could only be felt if you sat on his lap.

I'm skeptical. :mack:

[Howzit]

No, it's true. It's a medical condition known as a variable hardity tumor. Huh, PQ?

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

In the 70s, my Aunt Orethia (dad's sister) told my mom and my Aunt Judy that she was dating Lee Majors. She goes on and on about how he invited her to go to Hollywood parties with her and they were going to get married. She said she was going to have a role on his show, blah blah blah.

Then Aunt Judy said "So, does he ever ask about me?"

Aunt Orethia never talked about Lee Majors again.

[Partial Qualifier]

I'm skeptical. :mack:

Oh you won't be, though. Come here my pretty.

[critical_phil]

It was the damndest thing--he was a good guy, and had plenty to offer, but still felt the need to tell whoppers.


funny. i was thinking of people i've been around that told whoppers, and one of these types came to mind.

she was a young and very attractive girl, but she lied about EVERYTHING. if you'd been to hong kong, she had a condo in hong kong. if you're wife was expecting, she was planning a trip to nigeria to adopt twins. it was pathological.


one of the funniest that i remember was about her supposed harley-davidson.

all of the bikers in the office building were planning for the national ride to work day, and she jabbered non-stop about her custom chopper. when that day finally came, i heard one of the bikers in the office ask if she rode her bike to work and she said "yes". he asked to see it, and she replied: oh no, you don't think i'd leave it in THIS parking lot do you? my fiance and his buddy came and picked it up.

i guess they left her craptacular dodge neon in the parking lot for her when they did. jeesh. it was almost as if the office building didn't have windows.

[Partial Qualifier]

No, it's true. It's a medical condition known as a variable hardity tumor. Huh, PQ?

Egg-Sack-tly!

[NormanPride]

I think this is a thread of people telling whoppers about knowing people that tell whoppers.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

PQ told me this story about this huge tumor in his leg. Says it's stuck to his quad muscle.

He also said it could only be felt if you sat on his lap.

I'm skeptical. :mack:OU Doc tells me that stuff all the time. Must be a PCN thing.

[achiro]

In the 70s, my Aunt Orethia (dad's sister) told my mom and my Aunt Judy that she was dating Lee Majors. She goes on and on about how he invited her to go to Hollywood parties with her and they were going to get married. She said she was going to have a role on his show, blah blah blah.

Then Aunt Judy said "So, does he ever ask about me?"

Aunt Orethia never talked about Lee Majors again.

You have an aunt Judy, I have an aunt JOdy...wow, just wow!

[Harry Beanbag]

I used to work with Bill.

Bill was an engineer and designed the Ferrari Enzo by himself.

Bill also invented the U-Haul truck.

Bill's wife either died from cancer, a car crash, or was murdered. Cause of death varied daily.

Since Bill"s wife was dead, he was raising somewhere between 3 and 9 children by himself.

Bill received $20,000,000 in life insurance when his wife died, yet still held down a $12 an hour job on the graveyard shift.

Bill owned at least a dozen apartment complexes in the Phoenix area.

Bill's twin brother played professional soccer in Germany. One time he went to visit him and brought back several pints of some nasty German brandy and handed them out in gifts, the one he gave us was in a Sun Devil Liquor brown paper bag.

Bill was a part-time Mathematics professor at Arizona State University.

And my favorite: When Bill's wife was giving birth to one of their kids, the doctor fell asleep so he had to catch the baby before it shot across the room and hit the wall.

[TMcGee86]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/meyer86/callbs.jpg

[critical_phil]

heh.

[StoopTroup]

I used to teach Break Dancing Classes and one time I was doing an instructional video and during a routine I kicked this other kid in the balls.

That kid grew up to be Vin Diesel.

[Dio]

I have listened to each of these stories with a somewhat straight face as John (not his real name) related these incredible tales.

John's 340 Duster is capable of 190 miles per hour. In the quarter mile. This amazing vehicle will also lift the front end 3 feet off the ground in each gear.

John was a hacker for the military. He carried a computer on his body with a split keypad strapped across his chest and MAC10's on shoulder slings.

While a hacker for the military, John wrote a virus that is still on the "Top 10" list of most dangerous viruses. This virus functions by setting the value of a computers BIOS to zero.

John served in Desert Storm, where once in a battle situation he picked up a 50 caliber machine gun from its mounts and walked through the field of battle carrying this weapon and shooting Iraqis.

On his recent trip to the doctor, John's grip strength was tested at 490 lbs of pressure. Per finger. He was informed that that is enough to crush a human skull and he needs to be careful.

John is so accomplished at multiple forms of martial arts that he is not allowed to practice at any of the dojos here because he's just too good.

John's girlfriend recently called the police during a domestic dispute. John got into a scuffle with the officers, whereupon he broke three of one officers ribs. They were just about to arrest him and haul him away when he flashed his "Marine badge." So they let him go due to his military service.

In a parallel version of this story, John is arrested and spends the weekend in a strait-jacket and padded room. But he and the girl are really getting along well after all that.

A few months back, John's girl was at the dentist. When the dentist touched his tool to one of her teeth, the tooth "exploded." The dentist figured out that all of her teeth were hollow and prone to exploding, so over two weekend he replaced all of her teeth.

John decided a few years back that he'd put on so much muscle that he looked funny. The solution to this was to gain about 50 pounds of fat, just so that he "looked proportional."

Unbeknownst to me, John and I lift weights together on a daily basis. I'm pretty strong, but he's quite a bit stronger.

V, I didn't know you worked with John Blake :eek:

[Kels]

Last fall, I was visiting some of my students in the dorms. An upperclassmen in our ministry had a couple of freshmen in his room that lived on his floor.

Well, this one freshman starts telling me about all of the fights he had been in, motorcycle accidents, and shootouts. He starts showing me all of his "scars" from his injuries. There wasn't a mark on him. He had a straight face, and I kept thinking that he was making a joke. After a while, it was obvious that he was serious . . . and delusional.

The upperclassman just humored him. He didn't want to point out the obvious fact the guy was out of touch with reality. I felt sorry for the kid, and I wonder how he is able to function at OU.

[walkoffsooner]

Its so dry at my house I pointed a empty weed sprayer at a weed and it died.

[afs]

A few months back, John's girl was at the dentist. When the dentist touched his tool to one of her teeth, it "exploded."



fixed.

[RacerX]

I spent last summer in Alaska hunting wolverines with my uncle.

[OU4LIFE]

I spent last summer in Alaska hunting wolverines with my uncle.


that was fun wasn't it?

you're a good kid.

[IB4OU2]

I shot an 82 at Karsten Creek a few weeks ago.........

[OU4LIFE]

my nickname is twiggy.

[soonerbrat]

this guy I dated in high school told big stories like that..I didn't see him for a few years and he looked me up somehow and came up to the attorney's office where I was working and in a matter of 10 minutes managed to tell me that...

he lived on the 22nd floor of the apartment building across from the Murrah building during the bombing and the truck's axle came through his window and landed in his apartment...

he had been in medical school but couldn't handle zoology so he dropped out and became a Navy fighter pilot and flew F-16's for the Navy; but he got tired of that, so he started teaching drums to Patrick Duffy's son in california and got 2 master's degrees while he was doing that. That's a pretty full life for a 28 year old, dontcha think?

Another guy I went on one date with told me that he went on a camping trip with his parents when he was 10 and found a bear cub. He decided he wanted a new pet, so he put the bear cub in a duffel bag and brought it all the way back to oklahoma from colorado and kept said bear cub in his bedroom for 2 months before his parents noticed it. He had to get rid of it after that.

I sure know how to pick'em

[Skysooner]

http://www.bon-food.com.sg/images/whopper.jpg

[OU4LIFE]

it's obvious to me that I need to some up with better stories.

[Howzit]

it's obvious to me that I need to some up with better stories.

If by "stories" you mean "posts," I agree.

[OU4LIFE]

If by "stories" you mean "posts," I agree.

if by "posts" you mean "more posts" then I agree.



oh, and I hate you. and your powdered wig.

[Howzit]

It's because I can swim farther than you. I know it is.

[OU4LIFE]

if by "swim" you mean "float with arm floaties" then I agree.

[1stTimeCaller]

Howzit, you want me to punch Hairy in the face?

[colleyvillesooner]

Howzit, you want me to punch Hairy in the face?

I don't care what you guys call it, this is a family board!!!

[Howzit]

Howzit, you want me to punch Hairy in the face?

Please. I can't reach that high.

[jk the sooner fan]

the ex marine that used to work here, told some pretty good ones....he was a tall black guy, originallly from nigeria...and one day tells me that he does the 40 in 4.3 time.....and that he was being recruited/scouted by one of the indoor football teams (he'd never played a down of football in his life)

i just looked at him with that "oh reeeeeeeaally" look...

he had so many others i can barely remember them

[Czar Soonerov]

this guy I dated in high school told big stories like that..I didn't see him for a few years and he looked me up somehow and came up to the attorney's office where I was working and in a matter of 10 minutes managed to tell me that...

he lived on the 22nd floor of the apartment building across from the Murrah building during the bombing and the truck's axle came through his window and landed in his apartment...

he had been in medical school but couldn't handle zoology so he dropped out and became a Navy fighter pilot and flew F-16's for the Navy; but he got tired of that, so he started teaching drums to Patrick Duffy's son in california and got 2 master's degrees while he was doing that. That's a pretty full life for a 28 year old, dontcha think?

Another guy I went on one date with told me that he went on a camping trip with his parents when he was 10 and found a bear cub. He decided he wanted a new pet, so he put the bear cub in a duffel bag and brought it all the way back to oklahoma from colorado and kept said bear cub in his bedroom for 2 months before his parents noticed it. He had to get rid of it after that.

I sure know how to pick'em

http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/movies/images/supertroop1.JPG

[OU4LIFE]

Howzit, you want me to punch Hairy in the face?


you lost a swimming bet with him didn't you?

[1stTimeCaller]

yep. :(

[OU4LIFE]

aight then, come get your beatdown.

[1stTimeCaller]

aight then, come get your beatdown.

you're about to learn the physics of the haymaker, the hard way.

[Howzit]

:pop:

[OU4LIFE]

you're about to learn the physics of the haymaker, the hard way.

is there an easy way?

do I need a notepad?

[1stTimeCaller]

just bring your kneepads. Unless you left them at Howzit's house.

[Howzit]

just bring your kneepads. Unless you left them at Howzit's house.

No, but he did leave a snorkel and feather duster.

[OU4LIFE]

I loaned them to your mom, let me see if she's done with them.

oh yeah, I went there.

[OU4LIFE]

Ok, I just talked to her, she said I could have them back after your dad brings the Elks club over.

Can we put this off until then?

[1stTimeCaller]

<snaps finger and rolls head>no. you. din. tit.

[jk the sooner fan]

I loaned them to your mom, let me see if she's done with them.

oh yeah, I went there.

you went to his mom's to get a snorkel?

you get weirderer every day

[1stTimeCaller]

Ok, I just talked to her, she said I could have them back after your dad brings the Elks club over.

Can we put this off until then?

sure. You might want to be first in line. ;)

[Howzit]

DIBS ON LAST!!!1

[OU4LIFE]

not really, you are just now noticing.

and I went there for the feather duster, try and keep up.

[1stTimeCaller]

I had free passes to Cherokee Hills. Guess who isn't gonna get one?

[OU4LIFE]

sure. You might want to be first in line. ;)


Only if you'll punch powdered wig man in the face for me.

[OU4LIFE]

I had free passes to Cherokee Hills. Guess who isn't gonna get one?

Squeek?

[TMcGee86]

this guy I dated in high school told big stories like that..I didn't see him for a few years and he looked me up somehow and came up to the attorney's office where I was working and in a matter of 10 minutes managed to tell me that...

he lived on the 22nd floor of the apartment building across from the Murrah building during the bombing and the truck's axle came through his window and landed in his apartment...

he had been in medical school but couldn't handle zoology so he dropped out and became a Navy fighter pilot and flew F-16's for the Navy; but he got tired of that, so he started teaching drums to Patrick Duffy's son in california and got 2 master's degrees while he was doing that. That's a pretty full life for a 28 year old, dontcha think?

Another guy I went on one date with told me that he went on a camping trip with his parents when he was 10 and found a bear cub. He decided he wanted a new pet, so he put the bear cub in a duffel bag and brought it all the way back to oklahoma from colorado and kept said bear cub in his bedroom for 2 months before his parents noticed it. He had to get rid of it after that.

I sure know how to pick'em

yeah, LOTS of F-16's in the Navy. lol.

In high school a guy that worked with my dad moved to town and had a son that was my age.

He was from Dallas and proceeded to tell us that he ran point for Ostertag (he would have been in 8th grade at the time), and could dunk (he was maybe 5'4") and that he had dunked in a game, on a free throw, by turning around, bouncing the ball through his legs, letting it bounce off the backboard, and jamming it.

My other friend and I just stood there stunned not only at the obvious impossibility of such a move, but of the blatantly obvious fact that if the ball hit the ground on a free throw it obviously wouldn't count.

We chalked it up to the fact that he did a LOT of drugs. Strange guy.

[Scott D]

I knew this girl I worked with once who claimed to have slept with a couple of NHL players and had a baby via one. I brought it up to those players since I knew them via work, and one of them said "I would lose a bet to sleep with that ugly chick before I'd ever sleep with her."

[soonerbrat]

yeah, LOTS of F-16's in the Navy. lol.

In high school a guy that worked with my dad moved to town and had a son that was my age.

He was from Dallas and proceeded to tell us that he ran point for Ostertag (he would have been in 8th grade at the time), and could dunk (he was maybe 5'4") and that he had dunked in a game, on a free throw, by turning around, bouncing the ball through his legs, letting it bounce off the backboard, and jamming it.

My other friend and I just stood there stunned not only at the obvious impossibility of such a move, but of the blatantly obvious fact that if the ball hit the ground on a free throw it obviously wouldn't count.

We chalked it up to the fact that he did a LOT of drugs. Strange guy.

I'm glad someone caught the F-16 thing...

[mdklatt]

yeah, LOTS of F-16's in the Navy. lol.



The Navy does fly F-16's. They use them at Fighter Weapons School ("Top Gun") for dissimilar air combat training. There's a Navy version called the F-16N. I'm not sure if this is what they use at Top Gun or if it's an experimental version designed to operate from carriers or something.

[Scott D]

The Navy does fly F-16's. They use them at Fighter Weapons School ("Top Gun") for dissimilar air combat training. There's a Navy version called the F-16N. I'm not sure if this is what they use at Top Gun or if it's an experimental version designed to operate from carriers or something.

it's used as a 'mig replacement' for F-4's.

[1stTimeCaller]

History
In the mid-eighties, the USNavy was eagerly seeking a replacement for its agressor training aircraft. Both the F-5 and A-4 were in service at the time. The Navy found that these aircraft were not longer to their satisfaction in forfilling this task. These aircraft lacked the latest avionics developments and they were becomming obsolete very soon, with extensive maintenance being required. Also the lack of a high maneuverable and fast jet aircraft to performe this agressor training was felt very badly. A decision was taken to develop a customised version of the F-16 te fill this gap.

Structure & Avionics


US Navy agressor F-16N. (LMTAS photo)
The F-16N is based on the standard F-16C/D Block 30 and is powered by the General Electric F110-GE-100 engine. However, the F-16N has a strengthened wing and is capable of carrying an Air Combat Maneuvering Instrumentation (ACMI) pod on the starboard wingtip.

The ACMI pod allows details of air-to-air engagements to be transmitted to a ground station. Although the (T)F-16N's are based on the early-production small-inlet Block 30 F-16C/D airframe, they retain the APG-66 radar of the F-16A/B. However, they have no cannon or ASPJ and carry no missiles. Their EW fit consists of an ALR-69 radar warning receiver (RWR) and an ALE-40 chaff/flare dispenser. The (T)F-16N's have the standard Air Force tailhook and undercarriage, and are definitely NOT carrier capable.

Production
Production totalled 26 airframes of which 22 are singel-seat F-16N's and 4 are double-seat TF-16N's. The aircraft were in service between 1988 and 1998. At that time hair cracks were discovered in several bulckheads. The Navy didn't have the resources to replace them, so the aircraft were placed into storage at AMARC, ultimately being replaced by embargoed ex-Pakistani F-16s in 2003.

[OU4LIFE]

History
In the mid-eighties, the USNavy was eagerly seeking a replacement for its agressor training aircraft. Both the F-5 and A-4 were in service at the time. The Navy found that these aircraft were not longer to their satisfaction in forfilling this task. These aircraft lacked the latest avionics developments and they were becomming obsolete very soon, with extensive maintenance being required. Also the lack of a high maneuverable and fast jet aircraft to performe this agressor training was felt very badly. A decision was taken to develop a customised version of the F-16 te fill this gap.

Structure & Avionics


US Navy agressor F-16N. (LMTAS photo)
The F-16N is based on the standard F-16C/D Block 30 and is powered by the General Electric F110-GE-100 engine. However, the F-16N has a strengthened wing and is capable of carrying an Air Combat Maneuvering Instrumentation (ACMI) pod on the starboard wingtip.

The ACMI pod allows details of air-to-air engagements to be transmitted to a ground station. Although the (T)F-16N's are based on the early-production small-inlet Block 30 F-16C/D airframe, they retain the APG-66 radar of the F-16A/B. However, they have no cannon or ASPJ and carry no missiles. Their EW fit consists of an ALR-69 radar warning receiver (RWR) and an ALE-40 chaff/flare dispenser. The (T)F-16N's have the standard Air Force tailhook and undercarriage, and are definitely NOT carrier capable.

Production
Production totalled 26 airframes of which 22 are singel-seat F-16N's and 4 are double-seat TF-16N's. The aircraft were in service between 1988 and 1998. At that time hair cracks were discovered in several bulckheads. The Navy didn't have the resources to replace them, so the aircraft were placed into storage at AMARC, ultimately being replaced by embargoed ex-Pakistani F-16s in 2003.



wow, that was gay.

[Howzit]

I can't believe he took the time to type all that.

[1stTimeCaller]

I can't believe he took the time to type all that.

I had nothing else to do. My feelings are hurt and I'm not in a happy mood right now.

[soonerbrat]

well I appreciated it.

now maybe I think he wasn't lying

[1stTimeCaller]

no, he was lying.

[OUDoc]

OU Doc tells me that stuff all the time. Must be a PCN thing.
You ladies just wouldn't understand medical-type thinking stuff. You leave that to me and PQ.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

You ladies just wouldn't understand medical-type thinking stuff. You leave that to me and PQ.Sure, like the time I had an ear infection and you asked if you could do a breast exam.:hot:

[mdklatt]

Sure, like the time I had an ear infection and you asked if you could do a breast exam.:hot:

I'm not sure you used :hot: correctly. I would have used :texan:.

Can we get a ruling?

[colleyvillesooner]

Ruling: mdklatt is correct. :texan: was the correct answer.

Carry on.

[Pricetag]

well I appreciated it.

now maybe I think he wasn't lying
That makes it even more of a tall tale. Flying the aggressor aircraft at Top Gun would make him like Jester or Viper or something.

[1stTimeCaller]

Sure, like the time I had an ear infection and you asked if you could do a breast exam.:texan:


that's :hot:

[OU4LIFE]

that's :hot:


correction, you should have used:

supa:hot:

[OU4LIFE]

I had nothing else to do. My feelings are hurt and I'm not in a happy mood right now.

have you tried being less of a Gay?

that might help.

[1stTimeCaller]

whatever, Gary.

http://saladwithsteve.com/agcar.gif

[Sooners78]

Let me preface this by saying that I completely support the military.

However, during my time in the Navy, I have never listened to so many lies. Everyone in my company at boot camp had a hot babe waiting for them when they got out, and a great job to go home to. One kid that got kicked out of the Navy during boot camp for starting a fight told us just before he left that he just talked to his former boss on the phone who told him that not only did he have his old job waiting for him, but he was getting a raise!

[mdklatt]

have you tried being less of a Gay?



It's telling that you capitalized gay....


:D

[soonerbrat]

That makes it even more of a tall tale. Flying the aggressor aircraft at Top Gun would make him like Jester or Viper or something.



i guess my hint of sarcasm didn't come through the screen ;)

[TheHumanAlphabet]

Okay, wish I could chime in. I got stupid jokes, not lies...

[OU4LIFE]

I had to in order to get the pizzer to respond. Since he was acting like a Gay.

[1stTimeCaller]

<cold shoulder>

[yermom]

<Hot Carl>

dude, that's getting kinda old

[mdklatt]

i guess my hint of sarcasm didn't come through the screen ;)

The SO doesn't do subtlety. We need explicit--like pictures of your bush.

[OU4LIFE]

Hey, he's my president too.

[soonerbrat]

The SO doesn't do subtlety. We need explicit--like pictures of your bush.




I don't have a bush anymore. I moved, remember?

[yermom]

:hot:

[TMcGee86]

The Navy does fly F-16's. They use them at Fighter Weapons School ("Top Gun") for dissimilar air combat training. There's a Navy version called the F-16N. I'm not sure if this is what they use at Top Gun or if it's an experimental version designed to operate from carriers or something.

Yeah, this is why i didn't respond with "there are no F-16's in the Navy".

However, the likelihood that this guy was an instructor or a student at Top Gun is pretty slim considering he is only now 28, and apparently dropped out some time ago.

Plus even then he wouldn't have referred to it as flying F-16's in the Navy. He would have flown F-14's (or possibly 18's) for the Navy. The 16's would have just been a pleasant distraction.

[walkoffsooner]

I went deer hunting one time and it was so cold my tires froze to the ground. When I left it pulled the tread off of them. So I got out and saw a deer and shot. It was so far away it sprung my gun.:D

[Rogue]

Ouch!!!

[VeeJay]

John served in Desert Storm, where once in a battle situation he picked up a 50 caliber machine gun from its mounts and walked through the field of battle carrying this weapon and shooting Iraqis.



That's nothing. Timothy McVeigh was said to have killed a single Iraqi soldier at a quarter mile with an anti tank shell. :pop:

[SoonerAtKU]

Clark at work tells me that he learned to kill people with paperclips while he was in "Improvised Weapons Training" in the Marine Corps.

Then he proceeds to tell me two days later how he has severe epilepsy and suffered two grand mal seizures in the span of 5 minutes at a fair right after high school.

Maybe I'm not wise in the ways of the USMC, but does something stick out as improbable about the same person having both of these stories in their arsenal?

[olevetonahill]

Clark at work tells me that he learned to kill people with paperclips while he was in "Improvised Weapons Training" in the Marine Corps.

Then he proceeds to tell me two days later how he has severe epilepsy and suffered two grand mal seizures in the span of 5 minutes at a fair right after high school.

Maybe I'm not wise in the ways of the USMC, but does something stick out as improbable about the same person having both of these stories in their arsenal?
Well you know how those Jar heads are :eek: :D :D :D

[VeeJay]

Clark at work tells me that he learned to kill people with paperclips while he was in "Improvised Weapons Training" in the Marine Corps.

Then he proceeds to tell me two days later how he has severe epilepsy and suffered two grand mal seizures in the span of 5 minutes at a fair right after high school.

Maybe I'm not wise in the ways of the USMC, but does something stick out as improbable about the same person having both of these stories in their arsenal?


Heh! Just when a submerged Marine has found he no longer has a functioning rifle, he pulls out of his survival kit a packet of office supplies.

I'm thinking a yellow highlighter or some white out, snorted in unison may bring the dude out of his seizure. And if he has some of those styrofoam peanuts for packing handy, watch out world!

[Veritas]

I was just regaled by tales of how John and his "buddies" are going to spend the weekend playing Halo 2 and "fragging civilians." You see, his buddies are all former Marine Recon guys, except for one, who was a SEAL in Afghanistan, so they'll totally own. :rolleyes:

[royalfan5]

I was just regaled by tales of how John and his "buddies" are going to spend the weekend playing Halo 2 and "fragging civilians." You see, his buddies are all former Marine Recon guys, except for one, who was a SEAL in Afghanistan, so they'll totally own. :rolleyes:
you wouldn't think those stories could get him some low to mid grade tail if he took them out to Uncle Ron's or Coyote Willie's instead of playing video games all weekend.

[mdklatt]

I was just regaled by tales of how John and his "buddies" are going to spend the weekend playing Halo 2 and "fragging civilians." You see, his buddies are all former Marine Recon guys, except for one, who was a SEAL in Afghanistan, so they'll totally own. :rolleyes:


There are no civillians to frag in Halo 2, just aliens. :confused:

[1stTimeCaller]

That's nothing. Timothy McVeigh was said to have killed a single Iraqi soldier at a quarter mile with an anti tank shell. :pop:

fired from a what? just about everything the average 11B Soldier carries or can carry sans the M9 will kill someone to 400m.

[Skysooner]

I don't have a bush anymore. I moved, remember?

I can attest to the fact that she doesn't have a bush anymore. I helped move her, etc.