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View Full Version : This has been weighing heavily on my mind



MamaMia
7/11/2006, 11:10 AM
Last week, my cousin from Texas and his wife, both of whom I love with all my heart brought their welsh terrier to my home for 3 days. They had just spent a few days in Colorado, and we weren't that far out of their way. It was utter chaos. My little 15 lb. Shih Tzu, who thinks he is a German Shepard, was in attack mode the whole time, as was their dog. We had some close calls. My little puppy was terrified. They took turns in the bedroom, which I felt was unfair since my dogs live here. I now have to have my bedroom door redone because they all scratched it up. None of them are use to being locked in a bedroom.

I will also have to replace my brand new drapery sheers because their BoBo is so tall that he was able to jump up and look out the window. In doing so, he made claw marks in the right panel sheer and chipped the wood molding by the window. This is going to cost a bundle to fix. All in all, I have over $200.00 worth of damage. I finally had to take my dogs to the vet for the day. I felt awful for them.

There are doggy friendly hotels in this town and I did mention that to them tactfully. I told them that my niece stays there with her dog when she visits. I guess they didn't want to spend the money and I cant afford to put them up, after all, being the hostess I spent alot on them as my guests.

I like spending time with them and want them to visit again but would not know the first thing to say to prevent this from happening again.

soonerbrat
7/11/2006, 11:16 AM
Just say "no"
no explanation necessary

soonerbrat
7/11/2006, 11:29 AM
that didn't sound very nice...i meant.."no" to the dog. or offer to board him at the vet for them..would've been cheaper to put the one dog there, right? I'm sure they would understand since they saw firsthand the havoc he wreaked, right?

Newbomb Turk
7/11/2006, 11:30 AM
I like spending time with them ans want them to visit again but would not know the first thing to say to prevent this from happening again.

"I would love to have you visit again, as long as you don't bring your dog along."

Flagstaffsooner
7/11/2006, 11:33 AM
my cousin from Texas There's your first mistake, Mom. I wouldn't let a damn texan in my house to begin with.

MamaMia
7/11/2006, 11:38 AM
that didn't sound very nice...i meant.."no" to the dog. or offer to board him at the vet for them..would've been cheaper to put the one dog there, right? I'm sure they would understand since they saw firsthand the havoc he wreaked, right?
They had to of known the door was torn up. They heard it happening. I just saw the sheers last night.

I would be willing to pay to board the dog at my vet clinic overnight, but I dont think they would do that. They would probably want to go get him at 5:00, like I did my two.

soonerbrat
7/11/2006, 11:42 AM
you're such a sweetie, I know you just want everyone to be happy..but you either gotta say no, or deal with it...maybe they won't be back for a while :)

Legend of Ron Mexico
7/11/2006, 11:49 AM
If you explain how much damage was done the first time, I think they'll understand why it's a bad idea to bring the dog again. Maybe they'll even offer to pay for the damages.

critical_phil
7/11/2006, 11:53 AM
people that can't differentiate between animals and humans, and treat each accordingly, have mental problems.




just my .02.

leavingthezoo
7/11/2006, 11:56 AM
it's your house mom. make the choice theirs. don't bring your dog, and you're welcome. bring your dog, stay in a hotel that accepts dogs, and you're welcome. if you don't like options one and two... send me a postcard from your next trip.

Partial Qualifier
7/11/2006, 11:58 AM
Soak up the cost to get things fixed up, but remember that $200 when they want to bring their dog again. The memory of that will give you strength to say "Sorry but we can't do the dog thing again" when they visit next.

Ike
7/11/2006, 12:07 PM
personally, my experience with dogs is that stuff like this generally (not always, but generally) will happen when you bring two dogs that have never met each other together. However, if you stick the dogs in the yard and let em duke it out for a little while to let them resolve the pecking order in their own way, they usually get along fine afterwards.

However, some people are uncomfortable with doing that...so if thats not a route you really want to take, just tell em you don't have room for another dog.

yermom
7/11/2006, 12:07 PM
i was basically thinking the same thing PQ

of course, the things you mention are the same reasons i don't have a dog at all... cats are bad enough on the house... and those weren't my choice either

critical_phil
7/11/2006, 12:08 PM
it's your house mom. make the choice theirs. don't bring your dog, and you're welcome. bring your dog, stay in a hotel that accepts dogs, and you're welcome. if you don't like options one and two... send me a postcard from your next trip.

this is the right advice.


of course i don't know your cousin, but i've been in a similar situation. be prepared for them to be insulted (that's right, people that impose on others and ignore damages that they are responsible for get insulted over this kind of thing).

my sister-in-law tells everyone that she "refuses" to stay at my house when in town over a situation almost exactly as Mom described. the fact is, my sister-in-law's "not welcome" in my house IF she brings that pizsing, sh!tting, clawing, chewing, biting dog of hers.

yermom
7/11/2006, 12:09 PM
so true C_P

(kinda like smokers)

MamaMia
7/11/2006, 12:10 PM
Soak up the cost to get things fixed up, but remember that $200 when they want to bring their dog again. The memory of that will give you strength to say "Sorry but we can't do the dog thing again" when they visit next.
Okay. :O

Oh, and thanks guys. I could never mention any of this to a family member. Its just such an uncomfortable situation. Y'all are good at solving those. :D

BoogercountySooner
7/11/2006, 01:27 PM
I had some friends come to visit last weekend and they said they were bringing their dogs. I told them that they could come but their dog's would have to stay outside if they came. I have a brand new house and I don't even allow my dogs to come in. They found someone to watch their dogs and came on out. No problem. Honest and straight from the hip thats my Motto.

LoyalFan
7/11/2006, 03:00 PM
Maybe you could say..."Are you boarding the dog there or here in our town? I can get some numbers for you to call."

(Loud garbled sounds from other end of the line)

"OK, then. I hope BoBo likes our new pet. BTW, did you know it's legal to own a puma here now?"

Just a thought.

LF

oumartin
7/11/2006, 03:01 PM
if this is your biggest concern you live a great life mom!

MamaMia
7/11/2006, 03:09 PM
if this is your biggest concern you live a great life mom!
Actually, its not my biggest concern. My sons wife is. They just celebrated their 3rd anniversary. No kids though, thank Heaven. Our granddaughter, his only child, and who is from his first marriage, asked her Pa Pa why he refers to her dads wife as "Red Dog" the other day. :O

oumartin
7/11/2006, 03:55 PM
well go ahead and explain that to me.. i am slow.

can you guys just pay her off and make her go away?

Legend of Ron Mexico
7/11/2006, 04:44 PM
There is some good advice in this thread. However, since it appears that you'd rather give them the hint that they shouldn't bring their dog in a subtle way that won't start an argument, I suggest something like the following.

Give them a few positives and then throw in the dog problem. "We love having you here and we had such a fun time last time with you and the dog. However, since the dogs were so stressed out and didn't get along, they ended up causing some damage. We'd really like to have you back but we'll have to come up with a better solution for managing the animals. It would probably be better if your dog stayed outside or stayed at home where it'll be happier."

I had a similar problem and was just direct with them. I wasn't rude or angry but explained the damage that the animal did on the previous visit. After that, they completely understood why the dog was no longer welcome.

BlondeSoonerGirl
7/11/2006, 04:48 PM
I agree with Dean.

MamaMia
7/11/2006, 05:18 PM
There is some good advice in this thread. However, since it appears that you'd rather give them the hint that they shouldn't bring their dog in a subtle way that won't start an argument, I suggest something like the following.

Give them a few positives and then throw in the dog problem. "We love having you here and we had such a fun time last time with you and the dog. However, since the dogs were so stressed out and didn't get along, they ended up causing some damage. We'd really like to have you back but we'll have to come up with a better solution for managing the animals. It would probably be better if your dog stayed outside or stayed at home where it'll be happier."

I had a similar problem and was just direct with them. I wasn't rude or angry but explained the damage that the animal did on the previous visit. After that, they completely understood why the dog was no longer welcome.That sounds really good. The part about the dog staying outside though wont work. They want to sleep with their dog and not only that, my dog goes nuts if someone is in his back yard. We have a doggy door.

olevetonahill
7/11/2006, 06:07 PM
"I would love to have you visit again, as long as you don't bring your dog along."
Winner ;)

olevetonahill
7/11/2006, 06:19 PM
I agree with Dean.
What ? Shoot the couisins and then sit in wally world parking lot to give the dog away ?:eek:

MamaMia
7/11/2006, 06:24 PM
What ? Shoot the couisins and then sit in wally world parking lot to give the dog away ?:eek:Hes a horn, but too nice to shoot. Actually, I really do adore him. Hes more like a brother to me than a cousin. :D

well go ahead and explain that to me.. i am slow.

can you guys just pay her off and make her go away?
My son married a needy alcoholic woman on welfare with two kids. The quick version is that she left her kids at home with my son while she went out to a bachelorett party. She made out with some guy in the parking lot of the Red Dog Saloon, then lied about it, but got caught. My son asked me to come to his rescue financially to help him get out of the situation, which I did. Now hes back with her and I'm off limits.

critical_phil
7/11/2006, 07:21 PM
i was hoping he'd take my advice..........

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showpost.php?p=714327&postcount=29

oumartin
7/11/2006, 07:23 PM
do i need to get ahold of my cousin up in jersey? he can take care of her.

olevetonahill
7/11/2006, 07:23 PM
Hes a horn, but too nice to shoot. Actually, I really do adore him. Hes more like a brother to me than a cousin. :D

My son married a needy alcoholic woman on welfare with two kids. The quick version is that she left her kids at home with my son while she went out to a bachelorett party. She made out with some guy in the parking lot of the Red Dog Saloon, then lied about it, but got caught. My son asked me to come to his rescue financially to help him get out of the situation, which I did. Now hes back with her and I'm off limits.
No such critter as a "nice whorn " shoot em
And while we are cleaning house the dil can go to ;)
My oldest son is on thin ice with me now
He can go away for all i care . Ive had all I can take from him
If he was a Hook 'em or aggie Id done and shot him .:eek:

oumartin
7/11/2006, 07:26 PM
like you did your ex huh vet? ;)

Vaevictis
7/11/2006, 07:38 PM
Is the dogs going at each other a territorial issue, or is it just that the dogs just hate other dogs?

If it's a territorial issue, it may be possible to get them to be okay with each other by introducing them to each other in neutral territory and getting them acclimated to each other. When I say "neutral territory," I mean it. Not your back yard. Somewhere your dog(s) don't consider their own -- a local park, or something.

If that doesn't work, or it's just that the dog(s) don't like other dogs, then the answer is simply that they can't bring their dog. Explain to them what happened, and if they're good folks, they'll understand.