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View Full Version : oh deer loard - the secretary told a joke


slickdawg
7/5/2006, 02:42 PM
While her husband was in the hospital years ago (1987) two doctors were
on an elevator and one told a joke to the other:

"How do you give CPR to an AIDS patient?"

"how?"

She takes her foot and starts making a stomping motion.


:eek:
OUDoc
7/5/2006, 02:44 PM
Yup, that's when I heard that one, too.
Czar Soonerov
7/5/2006, 02:44 PM
Did she let one rip while she was stompin?
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 02:45 PM
No emissions, thank God.
1stTimeCaller
7/5/2006, 02:56 PM
aren't you supposed to blow at the ground while stomping? Go tell her that she focked the joke up because chest compressions on an AIDS patient just isn't near as funny as CPR is on one...
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 02:57 PM
Tell her it's called..."Extended CPR".
oumartin
7/5/2006, 02:59 PM
betcha never heard this one.

Why do firemen wear suspenders?
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 03:00 PM
Knock Knock...
Osce0la
7/5/2006, 03:09 PM
who's there


:D
OUstudent4life
7/5/2006, 03:09 PM
MOOOO.
Osce0la
7/5/2006, 03:09 PM
Did she also tell you why the chicken crossed the road?
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 03:11 PM
Dishes.
NormanPride
7/5/2006, 03:22 PM
That's not a police car, that's my wife!
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 03:32 PM
MOOOO.


Impatient cow!
yermom
7/5/2006, 03:51 PM
Chunks is my dog!
OUstudent4life
7/5/2006, 03:53 PM
Impatient cow!


:mad: :mad: :mad: MOOOOO!!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:


:D
1stTimeCaller
7/5/2006, 04:02 PM
No, but it keeps me from licking my lips.
yermom
7/5/2006, 04:04 PM
rectum? nearly killed 'em!
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:04 PM
...because it chips her teeth.
1stTimeCaller
7/5/2006, 04:05 PM
No, but I always wanted to.
gatorknights
7/5/2006, 04:11 PM
...why, If I could do that, I'd never leave the house.
oumartin
7/5/2006, 04:12 PM
now, here is a man "outstanding" in his field..
http://www.agrium.com/images/man_field_b.jpg
skycat
7/5/2006, 04:13 PM
I don't get it.
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:17 PM
He gave me a 10 inch pianist.
1stTimeCaller
7/5/2006, 04:19 PM
He gave me a 10 inch pianist.

d00d, it's ' What do you think I asked for? A 10 inch pianist?'
OUstudent4life
7/5/2006, 04:20 PM
YOU KICK IT!
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:22 PM
A frog in a blender.
Mjcpr
7/5/2006, 04:23 PM
Don't pay her!!
NormanPride
7/5/2006, 04:26 PM
Why the long face?
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:28 PM
"What paté? This is my stool sample."
1stTimeCaller
7/5/2006, 04:29 PM
"What paté? This is my stool sample."
who has the coworker that brought her stool sample to work in a casserole dish?
yermom
7/5/2006, 04:34 PM
heh, that would be Hairy

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43052
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:35 PM
Rrrrr...

Uuuu...

Nnnnn...
1stTimeCaller
7/5/2006, 04:38 PM
stolen from homey butit works great here as well.

"It is ****, wanna buy a toofbrush!"
oumartin
7/5/2006, 04:45 PM
sorry but we don't serve miners beer

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2005/11/27/ncoal27.jpg
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:55 PM
....there's whiteout on the screen.
oumartin
7/5/2006, 04:56 PM
yeah and it chipped her tooth!
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 04:59 PM
yeah and it chipped her tooth!
See post 19. :D

A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
oumartin
7/5/2006, 05:00 PM
i have to steal your material. its the only way i can be funny :D
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 05:04 PM
Three. One to eat it, two to watch for cars.
hurricane'bone
7/5/2006, 05:04 PM
[german accent]What are you thinking about?[/german accent]
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 05:05 PM
...One to hold the bulb and 1,000 to turn the house.
oumartin
7/5/2006, 05:07 PM
hey, you all hear the one about the overweight secretary? its a good one
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 05:08 PM
...then takes a blank piece of typing paper and puts it into the copy machine and makes 10 copies.
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 05:09 PM
Then don't do that!
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 05:09 PM
...She tried to fax chocolate chip cookies to her daughter in college.
oumartin
7/5/2006, 05:11 PM
to teach women to walk on their hind legs!



let me know if you aint heard that one.
hurricane'bone
7/5/2006, 05:16 PM
All the tape said was "Breathe In....Breathe Out...Breathe In....Breathe Out."
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 05:18 PM
There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!
hurricane'bone
7/5/2006, 05:19 PM
and then he said, "No, I came back to see if you had a brass Mexican!"
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 05:22 PM
Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
yermom
7/5/2006, 05:24 PM
she was throwing away the W's
oumartin
7/5/2006, 05:27 PM
the dog, at least it'll shut up when you let it in!
StoopTroup
7/5/2006, 05:31 PM
"*** **** **** ****** **** ****"


"Lord, I apologize and please be with the starving pygmies down in New Guinea.
slickdawg
7/5/2006, 05:51 PM
**** her in the ***, then wipe your d**k clean on the curtains.
SoonerAtKU
7/5/2006, 07:38 PM
That's a mighty big word for an eight-year-old.
ChickSoonerFan
7/5/2006, 10:36 PM
MOOOO.

You have to say it faster.
WILBURJIM
7/5/2006, 10:55 PM
The tampon on the TV is to remind of the c*** who took my VCR.
OU4LIFE
7/6/2006, 07:41 AM
who has the coworker that brought her stool sample to work in a casserole dish?

it scares the HELL out of me that you even remember that.

but not as much as that casserole dish scares me. so far I have not seen the dish again.
crawfish
7/6/2006, 07:45 AM
You have to say it faster.

MO!