View Full Version : SO Collective Wisdom
OKC Sooner
6/29/2006, 03:27 PM
As you go through life, there are times you encounter a bit of wisdom... something you read, advice from a friend or relative, school of hard knocks, etc. Have any to share? Here are some that I've encountered:
Always cut the cards.
Never start a ground war in Southeast Asia.
Do NOT fry bacon in the nude.
If your wife asks if she looks fat, the answer is NO!
JohnnyMack
6/29/2006, 03:28 PM
Don't invade Russia unless you can take Moscow before winter sets in.
soonerscuba
6/29/2006, 03:29 PM
When in doubt, stick it in her pooper.
Scott D
6/29/2006, 03:29 PM
If you have to ask, it's already too late.
BoomerJack
6/29/2006, 03:34 PM
Never give a sucker an even break.
It's better to remain silent and appear to be fool than to say something and remove all doubt.
Keep your mouth shut and your bowels open and you will avoid a lot trouble in your lifetime.
Never start a land war in Asia
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
Vaevictis
6/29/2006, 03:43 PM
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
HahaHa HahaHaHaHaH
HaHahaHaHahaHaHaHa
*pause*
*thunk*
slickdawg
6/29/2006, 03:43 PM
Texas sucks.
oumartin
6/29/2006, 03:47 PM
Do NOT fry bacon in the nude
I learned that one the hard way...
XingTheRubicon
6/29/2006, 03:48 PM
"The only new, is the history you don't know."
Harry Truman
XingTheRubicon
6/29/2006, 03:49 PM
No means no, unless she's smirking...
No means no, unless she's smoking...
Sometimes even then it ain't okay.
Sooner in Tampa
6/29/2006, 03:51 PM
Don't spit into the wind
Don't tug on Supermans cape
Don't pull the mask off of the Lone Ranger
Don't mess with Jim
WTF is Jim???
yermom
6/29/2006, 03:54 PM
don't whiz on the electric fence
never eat seafood from a vending machine
royalfan5
6/29/2006, 03:56 PM
14 posts and nobody posted GADOCADWI? The board is slipping.
colleyvillesooner
6/29/2006, 03:58 PM
14 posts and nobody posted GADOCADWI? The board is slipping.
Or you are Just. That. Good.
1stTimeCaller
6/29/2006, 04:04 PM
always, in any state of sobreity or lack thereof, know where the toilet is.
fadada1
6/29/2006, 04:04 PM
if you think you're doing something wrong, you're probably right.
MamaMia
6/29/2006, 04:05 PM
From Mom...
Pretty is as pretty does.
From Daddy...
Honesty is the best policy.
slickdawg
6/29/2006, 04:05 PM
Never, ever **** Dean off.
wherever you go, there you are.
I can't remember having ever forgotten anything.
I've only been wrong once, and that was in thinking I was wrong.
yermom
6/29/2006, 04:08 PM
don't cross the streams
IronSooner
6/29/2006, 04:17 PM
Hit it right before you leave. You never know how long it will be till you get it again.
proud gonzo
6/29/2006, 04:21 PM
From Mom...
Pretty is as pretty does.
i have never understood what that means.
IB4OU2
6/29/2006, 04:24 PM
You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.
or
You can't stack BB's on a windy day.
crawfish
6/29/2006, 04:24 PM
Life is like a box of chocolates.
slickdawg
6/29/2006, 04:25 PM
Farts smell worse in the shower.
If she breaks up with you, **** her sister. Then her mother. Then her aunt.
Don't ask for advice on the SO.
XingTheRubicon
6/29/2006, 04:37 PM
You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.
or
You can't stack BB's on a windy day.
Anyone remember how this applies to OU football?
C&CDean
6/29/2006, 04:58 PM
Two things you should never pass up:
A toilet, and a hard-on.
colleyvillesooner
6/29/2006, 05:02 PM
don't cross the streams
Heh:
Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad?"
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
Man that movie was underrated.
JohnnyMack
6/29/2006, 05:19 PM
don't cross the streams
You and :dolemite: really should look into getting a place with two bathrooms.
SOONERKAT
6/29/2006, 05:28 PM
Don't shoot the messenger.
If you can't afford it, don't buy it.
No matter how sexy she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her s@#&!!!
GottaHavePride
6/29/2006, 05:49 PM
Heh:
Man that movie was underrated.
Underrated by who? Instant classic!
Call it... luck, call it fate, call it karma... I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown outta this dump.
MamaMia
6/29/2006, 06:16 PM
i have never understood what that means.
People cant choose their faces, but they can choose the way that they behave.
The intellectual, spiritual and emotional qualities of a person are much more important than appearance alone.
colleyvillesooner
6/29/2006, 08:08 PM
Underrated by who? Instant classic!
Call it... luck, call it fate, call it karma... I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown outta this dump.
I just don't think it gets it's do.
It's Miller time.
Don't **** with a clique.
OUinFLA
6/29/2006, 08:29 PM
The potato goes in front
StoopTroup
6/29/2006, 08:39 PM
There are two ways to toss a salad...
Make sure you don't get confused when serving dinner.
olevetonahill
6/30/2006, 01:05 AM
Dean hit 2 of the 3 Big ones
1 .don't pass up a bathroom
2 Never waste a hard on
3 Never trust a fart :eek:
But Y'all missed the really #1
Never squat with ur spurs on :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
IB4OU2
6/30/2006, 08:17 AM
Never drink downstream from the herd.
SouthFortySooner
6/30/2006, 09:28 AM
Talking about lessons learned. Big tradition: night before opening day deer season CHILI cook, my job, cut up japelenos. Then out behind tent trying to dig out 2" in the cold of November with 4" of insulation on. :eek:
Disclaimer: it was cold.
White House Boy
6/30/2006, 09:36 AM
Sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
Always apply sunscreen evenly.
Never eat garlic & onions if you plan on getting busy within the next 24 hours.
Never drink orange juice AFTER brushing your teeth.
Love the Lord your God with all you heart, mind, soul, and strength.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Hug your kids every day.
olevetonahill
6/30/2006, 09:48 AM
Its better to be Judged by 12
than carried by 6 ;)
OKC Sooner
6/30/2006, 06:49 PM
A friend of mine said her mother always seemed to mangle sayings. My favorite was "Don't kick a gift horse in the teeth". :D
Okla-homey
6/30/2006, 07:02 PM
Don't tug on Superman's cape
Don't spit in the wind
Don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
and don't mess around with Jim.
Apologies to: the late Jim Croce
White House Boy
7/3/2006, 01:14 PM
Never re-use a wet bathing suit.
OUHOMER
7/3/2007, 08:57 AM
NEVER GET BETWEEN A BEAR AND HER CUB. That includes any mother and their child.
OUHOMER
7/3/2007, 09:00 AM
nevre draw into an inside straight. yea i am playing poker and surfing SO
Tiptonsooner
7/3/2007, 11:39 PM
Don't pet a burning dog..
OU Adonis
7/3/2007, 11:56 PM
Someone posting on a message board that they are a cool black guy most likely isn't...........
Turd_Ferguson
7/4/2007, 12:00 AM
man with hands in pockets feel cocky all day
Sooner Born Sooner Bred
7/4/2007, 12:02 AM
Someone posting on a message board that they are a cool black guy most likely isn't...........Why do you hate ScottD?
Turd_Ferguson
7/4/2007, 12:05 AM
woman who slide down handrail backwards, make monkey shine.
Shamrock
7/4/2007, 12:33 AM
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Turd_Ferguson
7/4/2007, 12:51 AM
It take many nail to build crib, only one screw to fill it
KC//CRIMSON
7/4/2007, 01:06 AM
don't cross swords.
WORD!
Turd_Ferguson
7/4/2007, 01:10 AM
Wisdom from my mom with a benson & hedges hang'n from her mouth...."Don't **** with me ya little bastage"
before you sit on the throne, make sure there is TP
"if it ****s, floats or flies, rent it"
i don't know where i heard that but i remembered it for some reason today :D
silverwheels
7/4/2007, 01:44 AM
If you can smell it with her pants on, stay above the neck.
Turd_Ferguson
7/4/2007, 01:51 AM
Man **** in wind....wind **** back.
Scott D
7/4/2007, 10:41 AM
Why do you hate ScottD?
:confused:
then again that was the guy who asked that he be inducted into the SicEm club, and get man card revokage ;)
OKC-SLC
7/4/2007, 11:12 AM
It's better to be pi**ed off than pi**ed on.
OU Adonis
7/4/2007, 11:41 AM
Well I guess no one remembers soonerwil
-If it has tits or wheels, it's gonna give ya trouble.
-From Dad on my wedding day: "Just say 'yes dear' and then do what you were going to do anyhow." :D
-If Mama ain't happy...ain't nobody happy.
-From WR:
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
-Confidence without humility is just arrogance.
-All paranoids are at least a little bit narcissistic.
From some of my mentors:
-It's always good to see the folks.
-A paranoid may be the only person that has a clue as to what's really going on.
-He may not be a chicken-****er, but he sure has some henhouse ways.
Finally, Chuck Bao offers pearls sometimes and I sigged one. :D
Well I guess no one remembers soonerwil
Didn't he die in a horrible carpet cleaning accident? ;)
OUinFLA
7/4/2007, 01:14 PM
Didn't he die in a horrible carpet cleaning accident? ;)
That's just it...........nobody knows if he died or not?
Heck, nobody knows if he actually cleaned carpets or not.
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