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LilSooner
6/19/2006, 10:10 AM
So being the good daughter I am, I'm taking care of my mother's animals whilst she is basking in the sun of Bermuda. Well Rhino and I go over there Saturday to get my mom's little dog and her inside cat. We coundn't find the cat carrier so after wrangling the cat out of mom's bedroom we start to trek back to my house (which is only 40 feet away). Half way back to my house while the cat is hissing and wriggiling about I lose my grip and the cat scratches my eye lid and gets me right underneath my eyelashes. I still have no idea how this happened. So the next thing I know the cat is on the ground. Well Rhino and I are trying to hold her down while I am trying to regrip as it was and the damn thing bites me two more times on the right arm and then bites me on my knuckle on my left.

So Rhino makes sure I still have a eye and we get the damn thing into the house. BTW I'm bawling like a little baby cause all I see is blood gushing out of my arm. So we lock the thing up in the 2nd bathroom and we go to the masterbath to get me cleaned up. Rhino's all manly and stuff and not freaked out, but he is also trying not to let me look in the mirror because I now have a full on bloody eye. Of course I see my reflection and freek the hell out.

So we head out to the non emergency room and I get cleaned up and bandaged and get some antibiotics and painpills. I'm sore as hell and I hate that cat. My stepdad just came over and got the evil spawn of satan and I hope he drowns it in the pool.

The End.
Osce0la
6/19/2006, 10:12 AM
bag.


river.



ywia.
colleyvillesooner
6/19/2006, 10:12 AM
Technically, the score is 2-0. And you needed a trip to the Non ER. 2 point bonus.

Round 1 goes to the cat 4-0.
BlondeSoonerGirl
6/19/2006, 10:13 AM
YEEEE HAW!!!!!!



Glad you're okay, yo. That sounds skeery.
picasso
6/19/2006, 10:15 AM
you have to be craftier than the cat.

my Dad has an oilfield supply business. big warehouse dealy on the edge of a small town. it sits where a busy county road and highway meet.
people leave stray cats there at times and they end up being pets or procreating there.
many years back we had a wild kitten that grew to adolescent age but had never been petted or picked up. a country bubba one day said he'd like to have the cat at his place in the sticks. so.
we avoided feeding the thing for a day and when we did feed it, I removed my shoes and snuck up behind it with welding cloves on. grabbed it (one helluva fight) and boxed it up and shipped it out.

finito.
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 10:18 AM
Did I mention how awesome Rhino was because he took such good care of me? He was an awesome CEO.
frankensooner
6/19/2006, 10:21 AM
Why does your mom have a pet bobcat?

That sounds horrible. When I was a kid, I had an aunt that had 10 cats in the house, and she was the only one who ever touched them, well I decided I was going to pet one and when I finally accomplished that feat, I had scratches up and down both arms, but I showed that sucker who was boss! ;)
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 10:24 AM
This cat is all black and is EVVVIL! Now I have her daughter who looks like a siamese and that cat couldn't be more sweet, but I was at least smart enough to have her declawed. I will never EVER have another cat again.
C&CDean
6/19/2006, 10:28 AM
Can you say "mom, your cat musta got out while you were gone...??"

Sure you can.

On a completely different note, see my abandoned dogs thread.
Beano's Fourth Chin
6/19/2006, 10:31 AM
http://www.mdcexports.co.uk/pix/animalgauntlet.jpg
C&CDean
6/19/2006, 10:36 AM
If I was a geek like Beano I'd post a pic of a baseball bat.
Beano's Fourth Chin
6/19/2006, 10:38 AM
Baseball bat is good, but not personal enough for me.

I want to see the look in that bas***d's eyes when I squeeze the last drop of life from it's twitching fluffy like a bunny body.
C&CDean
6/19/2006, 10:41 AM
Baseball bat is good, but not personal enough for me.

I want to see the look in that bas***d's eyes when I squeeze the last drop of life from it's twitching fluffy like a bunny body.

Then the gloves would be a better choice. Carry on......
SoonerBorn68
6/19/2006, 10:42 AM
We adopted a stray kitten (I found it in the road & felt sorry for it) a few years ago & everything looked like it would be fine. However, as it grew it became evermore wild. One day it attacked my 5 year old for the hotdog she was eating & scratched her up pretty good. I grabbed my pellet gun & off'd the little bastage.

Game over.
Osce0la
6/19/2006, 10:43 AM
We adopted a stray kitten (I found it in the road & felt sorry for it) a few years ago & everything looked like it would be fine. However, as it grew it became evermore wild. One day it attacked my 5 year old for the hotdog she was eating & scratched her up pretty good. I grabbed my pellet gun & off'd the little bastage.

Game over.
http://img346.imageshack.us/img346/1436/mk1qe.png (http://imageshack.us)
SoonerInKCMO
6/19/2006, 10:45 AM
If your mom's house is only 40' away, why did you bother to move the evil cat in the first place?
frankensooner
6/19/2006, 10:45 AM
Did you sing that circle of life song to your daughter, the one from the lion king, after you offed the cat? ;)
picasso
6/19/2006, 10:46 AM
you can't take the feral, outta da feral cat.
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 10:59 AM
If your mom's house is only 40' away, why did you bother to move the evil cat in the first place?


LOOOONG story.
SoonerBorn68
6/19/2006, 11:07 AM
you can't take the feral, outta da feral cat.

Lesson learned. No more cats, period.
Widescreen
6/19/2006, 11:17 AM
Why anyone still owns a cat is beyond me. At best, they're aloof. At worst, they'll claw your face off and try to gnaw off your hand.
Boarder
6/19/2006, 11:28 AM
Any pet that attacks my child will immediatley cease to exist. Probably by 12 Guage poisoning. Less Aiming, Less to Bury.
Okla-homey
6/19/2006, 11:50 AM
You know, cat claws are sort of little hypodermic needles of grossness. Think about it, when they are finished in the litter box, they then scratch the disgusting litter over their "bizness." That stuff, totally permeated with bacteria and other awful stuff gets inbedded in their claws. When they scratch a person, that stuff gets injected under the scratched persons skin.

Bottomline: I ain't no doc, but I've seen abcesses come up on cats from being scratched by other cats which are basically giant pus-filled capsules the size of marbles. They get infected, eventually burst, and leave a big honking weeping sore.

Sooo, be careful and watch out for infection.
picasso
6/19/2006, 12:00 PM
You know, cat claws are sort of little hypodermic needles of grossness. Think about it, when they are finished in the litter box, they then scratch the disgusting litter over their "bizness." That stuff, totally permeated with bacteria and other awful stuff gets inbedded in their claws. When they scratch a person, that stuff gets injected under the scratched persons skin.

Bottomline: I ain't no doc, but I've seen abcesses come up on cats from being scratched by other cats which are basically giant pus-filled capsules the size of marbles. They get infected, eventually burst, and leave a big honking weeping sore.

Sooo, be careful and watch out for infection.
human bites are worse. just sayin.
Okla-homey
6/19/2006, 12:14 PM
human bites are worse. just sayin.

I haven't been bitten by a human since my baby brother chomped me back in '67 or so. I don't recall it leading to any amputations or anything but it did break the skin. He was prone to bite back then...it was his preferred defense when he was two.

Just saying.
picasso
6/19/2006, 12:27 PM
I haven't been bitten by a human since my baby brother chomped me back in '67 or so. I don't recall it leading to any amputations or anything but it did break the skin. He was prone to bite back then...it was his preferred defense when he was two.

Just saying.
ask any doctor.

I accidentally elbowed a poor sap who thought he could guard me in basketball a few years ago. took a row of his teeth out. I then noticed my elbow would not stop bleeding.
the ER Doc told me human bites are the dirtiest there is. mucho bacterio. my elbow/bursa sac swelled up worse then Josh Heupel's. it was really fun stuff but, I didn't need plastic surgery on my mouth.
picasso
6/19/2006, 12:28 PM
i could be wrong but that's what I was told.

perhaps it's because some people eat olives?;)
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 12:39 PM
Funny side story. After cleaning up a little bit before going to the clinic, I had put on this product that my company sells its made out of silver and is the ****. So I take it with me to show them that I had already put an anitbiotic on it. We the doctor looks at it then starts questioning me about the stuff so I go in to my whole little spiel about it and how awesome it is. So he tells the nurse instead of putting on it whatever they normally do to put my product on it. So then the nurse is like where do we get that stuff, how much does it cost, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So basically I made two sales calls while I was getting cleaned up :)
Osce0la
6/19/2006, 12:42 PM
Funny side story. After cleaning up a little bit before going to the clinic, I had put on this product that my company sells its made out of silver and is the ****. So I take it with me to show them that I had already put an anitbiotic on it. We the doctor looks at it then starts questioning me about the stuff so I go in to my whole little spiel about it and how awesome it is. So he tells the nurse instead of putting on it whatever they normally do to put my product on it. So then the nurse is like where do we get that stuff, how much does it cost, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So basically I made two sales calls while I was getting cleaned up :)
We need before and after pics to see how well this stuff works...You may be able to sell it so some schmuck on here ;)
OUDoc
6/19/2006, 12:45 PM
You never close up any animal (including human) bite b/c of all the bacteria in the mouth.
Not in my mouth, but all of yours. Dirty f'ing hillbillies.

:D The first part is true though.
OUDoc
6/19/2006, 12:46 PM
my elbow/bursa sac swelled up worse then Josh Heupel's. it was really fun stuff but, I didn't need plastic surgery on my mouth.
Your sack swelled? How do you know how big Josh's sack is?


Artists, man. :rolleyes:
Rhino
6/19/2006, 01:17 PM
I shoulda stomped that cat's head into the gravel when I had the chance.
C&CDean
6/19/2006, 01:20 PM
I shoulda stomped that cat's head into the gravel when I had the chance.

Heh. And come get a dog ya' big, bald ****in' galoot.
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 01:28 PM
He's got 4 step puppies we've got enough. All though I wouldn't be opposed him having one at his house too. The big guy also has a birthday this week too.
picasso
6/19/2006, 01:30 PM
Your sack swelled? How do you know how big Josh's sack is?


Artists, man. :rolleyes:
heh. there's a pic of Josh throwing the ball in the orange bowl and that bursa sac is about to burst.

my sac? it's smaller because of the testicular cancer. guess you missed the memo.;)
GottaHavePride
6/19/2006, 01:32 PM
step-puppies? What, the puppies married into the family? ;)
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 01:34 PM
well they are my dogs and he is their step daddy....

Shut up I don't have any kids leave me alone. :(
MamaMia
6/19/2006, 01:34 PM
Bless your heart. I hope you start feeling better. Go easy on the pain pills though. You have been documented in the state wide pharmacy data base.
colleyvillesooner
6/19/2006, 01:37 PM
my sac? it's smaller because of the testicular cancer. guess you missed the memo.;)

http://www.theslant.com/jam/images/downer.jpg

;)
C&CDean
6/19/2006, 01:37 PM
He's got 4 step puppies we've got enough. All though I wouldn't be opposed him having one at his house too. The big guy also has a birthday this week too.

Solid black, or do you want one with white socks and chest?
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 01:55 PM
The CEO has the final word. You have to ask him.
Widescreen
6/19/2006, 02:26 PM
Funny side story. After cleaning up a little bit before going to the clinic, I had put on this product that my company sells its made out of silver and is the ****. So I take it with me to show them that I had already put an anitbiotic on it. We the doctor looks at it then starts questioning me about the stuff so I go in to my whole little spiel about it and how awesome it is. So he tells the nurse instead of putting on it whatever they normally do to put my product on it. So then the nurse is like where do we get that stuff, how much does it cost, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So basically I made two sales calls while I was getting cleaned up :)
Sounds like you've found a new marketing technique. Let things bite you and then head off to the doctor's office. I see some serious $$$ in your near future!
LilSooner
6/19/2006, 03:38 PM
See I'm a genius a freaking GENIUS!


Too bad that's ain't my hospital system.
tulsaoilerfan
6/19/2006, 04:22 PM
So being the good daughter I am, I'm taking care of my mother's animals whilst she is basking in the sun of Bermuda. Well Rhino and I go over there Saturday to get my mom's little dog and her inside cat. We coundn't find the cat carrier so after wrangling the cat out of mom's bedroom we start to trek back to my house (which is only 40 feet away). Half way back to my house while the cat is hissing and wriggiling about I lose my grip and the cat scratches my eye lid and gets me right underneath my eyelashes. I still have no idea how this happened. So the next thing I know the cat is on the ground. Well Rhino and I are trying to hold her down while I am trying to regrip as it was and the damn thing bites me two more times on the right arm and then bites me on my knuckle on my left.

So Rhino makes sure I still have a eye and we get the damn thing into the house. BTW I'm bawling like a little baby cause all I see is blood gushing out of my arm. So we lock the thing up in the 2nd bathroom and we go to the masterbath to get me cleaned up. Rhino's all manly and stuff and not freaked out, but he is also trying not to let me look in the mirror because I now have a full on bloody eye. Of course I see my reflection and freek the hell out.

So we head out to the non emergency room and I get cleaned up and bandaged and get some antibiotics and painpills. I'm sore as hell and I hate that cat. My stepdad just came over and got the evil spawn of satan and I hope he drowns it in the pool.

The End.
Cats suck.

The End.