Dear new neighbor

[MamaMia]

...with the invasive orange tubular vine killing my sterling rose bush,

Please turn your back yard spot light off before I shoot it out!

It really screwed up my whole Magaritaville/Cheeseburger in Paradise/Shrimp boil last night. We couldnt even face toward the direction of your house without being blinded! Thank you for totally ruining my whole Jimmy Buffett/tiki lamp effect.

You are a real fruitcake!

[Flagstaffsooner]

Mom, you wants us to come over and ruff dem up fer ya?

[oumartin]

mom, let me know the address and your problem will be resolved

[MamaMia]

Mom, you wants us to come over and ruff dem up fer ya? That would be nice, and thank you for offering, but after Uncle Leo went to jail for racketeering, Daddy promised our cousin Pauly, the priest, that we would put forth the effort to make a better impression for the younger ones in the family... and anyway, that kind of thing could get out. :O

[MamaMia]

mom, let me know the address and your problem will be resolved
You behave yourself martin. Ray Don has an opponent on his tail, and hes just itching to load up the county jail. :D

[Flagstaffsooner]

You behave yourself martin. Ray Don has an opponent on his tail, and hes just itching to load up the county jail. :DEverybody in Garfield County take note.http://user.chollian.net/~cteye/icsUpload/home_softside/garfield.gif

[oumartin]

wrong county flag but good guess.
guess all that perfect weather out there has clouded your memory?

[Flagstaffsooner]

I thought you guys were Enid, isnt that Garfield?

BTW its cool in Coconino County.http://www.math.utoledo.edu/~codentha/Images/arkiv_KrazyKat2.gif

[oumartin]

achiro is in enid, we are to the west.

[Flagstaffsooner]

Woodward?

[oumartin]

nothing gets by you flag does it.

[LilSooner]

Woodward has has one of the best bakery's downtown. I can't remember the name but its on the main drag in a building with a bunch of other neat stores. They make the best thumb print cookies EVAR. I highly recommend them.

Mom sorry about the annoyances. I didn't even know that they let fruit cakes live out there?

[MamaMia]

Woodward has has one of the best bakery's downtown. I can't remember the name but its on the main drag in a building with a bunch of other neat stores. They make the best thumb print cookies EVAR. I highly recommend them.

Mom sorry about the annoyances. I didn't even know that they let fruit cakes live out there?

Yes, we have no homeless people but we do have lots of fruitcakes here in Woodward, the Home of the Woodward Boomers.

"You know I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day she
runs this space station and bake shop down near Boom Town. She told
me that human beings are flawed individuals. The cosmic bakers
took us out of the oven a little too early. And that's the
reason we're as crazy as we are and I believe it.

We have...Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven
Half-baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us.

We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care! I'm mad as hell! And I don't want to
take it anymore!" :D

[BajaOklahoma]

Depending on how strange your neighbor is, just talk to them. Our next door neighbor has security lights (with motion sensors) on the side of his house next to our bedroom. They usually woke us up a couple of times a night when the local critters would climb our fence.
So I mentioned to the neighbor that it seemed like his lights were focused wrong and missing any potential burglars. The lights were adjusted immediately.

[Sooner24]

...with the invasive orange tubular vine killing my sterling rose bush,

Please turn your back yard spot light off before I shoot it out!

It really screwed up my whole Magaritaville/Cheeseburger in Paradise/Shrimp boil last night. We couldnt even face toward the direction of your house without being blinded! Thank you for totally ruining my whole Jimmy Buffett/tiki lamp effect.

You are a real fruitcake!


My question is.........WHY WERE NONE OF US INVITED!!!!! :mad: ;)

[MamaMia]

Depending on how strange your neighbor is, just talk to them. Our next door neighbor has security lights (with motion sensors) on the side of his house next to our bedroom. They usually woke us up a couple of times a night when the local critters would climb our fence.
So I mentioned to the neighbor that it seemed like his lights were focused wrong and missing any potential burglars. The lights were adjusted immediately.
That would be much easier than my idea. I was going to bake them a cake shaped like their spot light with the words ~Hint~Hint~ on top.

[MamaMia]

My question is.........WHY WERE NONE OF US INVITED!!!!! :mad: ;)You all have a standing invitation, as long as you dont shoot the lock off the cabinet with the good stuff, or form a naked conga line. ;)

[Flagstaffsooner]

You all have a standing invitation, as long as you dont shoot the lock off the cabinet with the good stuff, or form a naked conga line. ;)Well, thats what we do. You sure do know how to screw up a good party, Mom.:D

[TUSooner]

Depending on how strange your neighbor is, just talk to them. Our next door neighbor has security lights (with motion sensors) on the side of his house next to our bedroom. They usually woke us up a couple of times a night when the local critters would climb our fence.
So I mentioned to the neighbor that it seemed like his lights were focused wrong and missing any potential burglars. The lights were adjusted immediately.


Or just go over and inscrew the light bulb.

Once when my neighbors were out of town, their burglar light would come on and shine right onto our patio. I hung a sock over the motion sensor. And when they I just mentioned the problem and they readjusted it. No problem. And we didn't know them that well before then.

[MamaMia]

Or just go over and inscrew the light bulb.

Once when my neighbors were out of town, their burglar light would come on and shine right onto our patio. I hung a sock over the motion sensor. And when they I just mentioned the problem and they readjusted it. No problem. And we didn't know them that well before then.They have 4 dogs, and one is big and mean.

[oumartin]

and you might get arrested for trespassing

[IB4OU2]

Mom, a well placed shot from a pellet gun is stealthy (quiet) and effective.
:)

[Scott D]

Mom, next time invite doleo to attend so he doesn't try to ruin things from the outside.

[MamaMia]

and you might get arrested for trespassingI would have to do something alot worse than that to get arrested in Woodward County. I know too much. ;)

[Sooner24]

I would have to do something alot worse than that to get arrested in Woodward County. I know too much. ;)


Yeah like that watermelon rind preserve recipe you never sent me. ;)

[85Sooner]

They have 4 dogs, and one is big and mean.
ONE WORD.

STEAK

[GottaHavePride]

5 words: steak wrapped around tranquilizer pills. ;)

[SicEmBaylor]

Muskogee county pWns

[MamaMia]

Yeah like that watermelon rind preserve recipe you never sent me. ;)Well now, you never pm'd me to tell me if you want the sweet kind for breakfast breads, or the dilled and pickled kind. So here is both:

Pickled Watermelon Rind

The ingredients you will need...
Some watermelon rind, 4 quarts of 1-inch chunks (see directions for preparation)
3 qts of water
3/4 cups of salt
1 qt white or cider vinegar
8 cups of sugar (I use the fine)
2 tablespoons of whole cloves
10 to 12 3-inch cinnamon sticks, broken into 1-inch pieces
1/2 teaspoon mustard seed
red food coloring, optional

Cooking and canning directions:
Peel green skin and cut off the inner pink from the watermelon rind and then cut into 1 inch chunks and measure out 4 qts. Put that in a non-metal bowl and add your water and salt. Add more water if necessary, to cover up the rind chunks.

Cover and soak overnight in fridge.
The next morning, drain and cover with clear water, and then transfer to a large saucepan or a Dutch oven.
Bring it to a boil and continue to boil for 30 minutes, then drain it.

Pour the vinegar into an 8 qt kettle; add sugar.
Tie spices in a cheesecloth bag and add to vinegar mixture.
Bring mixture to a boil.
Remove from heat and let stand for 15 minutes.
Add the drained watermelon rind.
Boil gently until rind is transparent and syrup is slightly thickened, about 45 to 55 minutes.
Remove spices 15 minutes before done and add the food coloring, if using, just to tint.

Spoon into hot sterilized 1-pint jars, leaving about 1/2-inch head space, and seal. Process jars in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes. For altitudes from 1,001 to 6,000 feet, process for 15 minutes. For altitudes over 6,000 feet, process for 20 minutes.
This recipe makes about 4 pints. I dont suggest doubling it. I tried that and it didnt turn out near as well. Just make some more when thats gone.

~Here is the sweet preserves for breakfast breads:

Watermelon Preserves

The ingredients you will need...
2 pounds watermelon
3 cups white sugar
3 lemons - rinsed, sliced and seeded

The directions...
Remove the green rind of the melon, and dice the white part into small cubes, leaving the red flesh mostly intact. Remove seeds.

In a heavy stockpot, combine your 4 cups of the prepared watermelon, the sugar and lemons. Bring that to a boil over medium heat, and then let the mixture boil slowly for 2 hours. Make sure you stir it occasionally. (The temperature of the mixture should be at 220 degrees F (105 degrees C) so the jam will set.)

Transfer the preserves to hot sterile jars, and seal. Check the seals after a few hours. Process any unsealed jars in a water bath. Refrigerate preserves after you open them up.

[Sooner24]

Thank you. :)

[MamaMia]

Thank you. :)You are very welcomed. Which ones are you going to make first?

[Sooner24]

The sweet ones like my late grandma used to make. :)

[AlbqSooner]

Well, thats what we do. You sure do know how to screw up a good party, Mom.:D
"Hey Snake, we need more wine!"

[Mixer!]

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002OS8.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Great album. Title song, Uncle John's Band, and Sunny Afternoon are the best cuts. Perfect relaxing music for a summer's night.

[MamaMia]

"Hey Snake, we need more wine!"

"In days of old, when knights were bold,
And journeyed from their castles,
Trusty men were left behind,
Knights needed not the hassles.
They helped themselves to pig and peach,
And drank from King's own chalice.
Oh, it was a stirring sight
These gypsies in the palace." :D

[sooner n houston]

Off topic, but whay would ANYONE want to preserve watermelon rinds???

[Taxman71]

You already had the tools. Repeat "Why Don't We Get Drunk" at max volume until the light goes out.

YWIA

[MamaMia]

Off topic, but whay would ANYONE want to preserve watermelon rinds???The tradition originated in Africa. The watermelon is said to be from Kalahari Desert, which is in southern Africa.

The watermelon rind is high in Pectin. I suppose we pickle and preserve them because its fun and the finished product is delicious. The concept is really no different than making marmalades, in which the rind of citrus fruits is added in the making of the jam. The most common is orange marmalade.

In college we use to shoot watermelons with Bacardi or Stoli. It was quite good, and since the fruit was so full of fiber and water, we never got any hangovers.