View Full Version : I got a bad feeling about tonight
royalfan5
6/9/2006, 01:39 PM
I am headed off to a bachelor party tonight, and I don't think it will end well. First of all, we are going to the Vegas of the Cornfields, Council Bluffs, Iowa. I don't gamble but I like cheap drinks, so I don't think too many problems should crop up here. However I think all bets are off when we go to Iowa's gentlemen's clubs. Iowa's clubs are interesting, they are BYOB and you pay a parking fee, and they stay open real late. The people I am going with tend to flirt with arrest a lot harder when booze and strippers are mixed. I, myself am not a big fan of strippers. Women degrading themselves in person unnerves me, yet I have no problem with women degrading themselves when it is presented on the internet. Maybe my problem is that I am cheap more than worried about women degrading themselves. Either way, the mix of booze, people and activites I will be partaking in tonight make me think that I might end up in a brawl in random Iowa truck stop, and I don't find that prospect appealing. So if I disappear from SO, you'll know what happened.
Strippers in Iowa??? What do they do, strip down to their petticoats??
crawfish
6/9/2006, 01:43 PM
Strippers in Iowa??? What do they do, strip down to their petticoats??
These are Nebraska guys we're talking about, here. Have some perspective. :D
royalfan5
6/9/2006, 01:46 PM
Strippers in Iowa??? What do they do, strip down to their petticoats??
The ladies work hard for their meth. We don't have Southern Baptist's up here, so that cuts down on repression. We're a little more liberal with this kind of stuff than you might think, especially with large areas with no zoning laws.
walkoffsooner
6/9/2006, 01:47 PM
Been there done that.Been to churches ruffer than that place.
Iowa pron...
http://www.blanchesplace.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/11.jpg
oumartin
6/9/2006, 02:20 PM
so you might just like vanish?
there is a god! :D
royalfan5
6/9/2006, 02:22 PM
so you might just like vanish?
there is a god! :D
Probably not vanish, but I'll come back posting soley about a conservative commentator, and abusing my caps lock button.
BeetDigger
6/9/2006, 02:45 PM
The ladies work hard for their meth. We don't have Southern Baptist's up here, so that cuts down on repression. We're a little more liberal with this kind of stuff than you might think, especially with large areas with no zoning laws.
You have women up there with large areas with no zoning laws? Be sure to wear a condom and tie a board to your arse. :texan:
mdklatt
6/9/2006, 02:53 PM
and I don't think it will end well
PIITB?
sooneron
6/9/2006, 02:54 PM
IT'S going to worse before it gets better. Just keep saying that to yourself.
1stTimeCaller
6/9/2006, 02:59 PM
make sure you have some bail money set aside.
royalfan5
6/9/2006, 03:05 PM
make sure you have some bail money set aside.
I can probably only swing one person. So as long as things don't get too crazy or we run into some backwoods Iowa sheriff, I should come out intact. But we will be by the river, and by rivers there is riverfolk, and riverfolk are bad news.
mdklatt
6/9/2006, 03:05 PM
make sure you have some bail money set aside.
And money for Saran Wrap. It's got a ton of uses.
1stTimeCaller
6/9/2006, 03:07 PM
I can probably only swing one person. So as long as things don't get too crazy or we run into some backwoods Iowa sheriff, I should come out intact. But we will be by the river, and by rivers there is riverfolk, and riverfolk are bad news.
the bail money is for you. fugg them other guys, unless you have extra money laying around.
what mdklatt said about the saran wrap. you never know when you'll have the need for a dental dam...
C&CDean
6/9/2006, 03:07 PM
Iowegians are alright. I'm married to one. Of course, her no account daddy who dropped me from the loader is one too......
Iowegians are alright. I'm married to one. Of course, her no account daddy who dropped me from the loader is one too......
Watch out royal, they'd just as soon take off your shoes and rub your feet, cook your meals and clean your toilet as look at ya.
C&CDean
6/9/2006, 03:10 PM
Watch out royal, they'd just as soon take off your shoes and rub your feet, cook your meals and clean your toilet as look at ya.
that would be awful
mdklatt
6/9/2006, 03:13 PM
you never know when you'll have the need for a dental dam...
Dental dam, makeshift condom (don't forget the rubber band), hot carl, whatever.
Saran Wrap is the duct tape of the sex world. And duct tape is useful in it's own right.
royalfan5
6/9/2006, 03:33 PM
Good thing I just got a new thing of saran wrap. Plus I know have the elements needed to make man in a can. That probably won't help.
mdklatt
6/9/2006, 03:37 PM
Plus I know have the elements needed to make man in a can.
:confused:
And probably :eek:.
royalfan5
6/9/2006, 03:46 PM
:confused:
And probably :eek:.
It's vodka, red bull, and Mountain Dew. If I have to be awake until breakfast time, I can't drink beer all night.
Good ole council tukey tittay bars. Just had a bad flash back...
If you hit Caddy Shack, you'll probably run into a few friends of mine.
royalfan5
6/10/2006, 10:02 AM
I survived last night. The Playhouse just outside of Omaha does not mess around. They have 10 poles going at a time, and don't even bother to have them strip, they just start em out nude. Any way man in a can is great, 6 people don't fit in an alero, and a good time was had by all.
Glad you're safe. 10 stripper poles. Musta been like heaven.
Okla-homey
6/10/2006, 12:25 PM
Thanks for the flashback.
Ahhhh, the memories of TB's in the 80's (the era when wimmen only shaved their armpits and legs.)
The tawdry allure of ciggy smoke, cheap perfume, clear heels, c-section scars at eye level to patrons seated along a stage bathed in the warm glow of rope lights and experienced to the erotic sounds of Foreigner, .38 Special and Journey.
royalfan5
6/10/2006, 12:26 PM
Thanks for the flashback.
Ahhhh, the memories of TB's in the 80's (the era when wimmen only shaved their armpits and legs.)
The tawdry allure of ciggy smoke, cheap perfume, clear heels, c-section scars at eye level to patrons seated along a stage bathed in the warm glow of rope lights and experienced to the erotic sounds of Foreigner, .38 Special and Journey.
Speaking of Journey. The strippers really picked it up last night when the DJ put some Journey on.
Okla-homey
6/10/2006, 12:33 PM
Speaking of Journey. The strippers really picked it up last night when the DJ put some Journey on.
"Faithfully" tends to bring out the best in strippers. They get to really express themselves. As I recall so does .38's "Hold on Loosely." Bad Co's "Ready For Love" would inspire them to new heights as well.
royalfan5
6/10/2006, 12:58 PM
"Faithfully" tends to bring out the best in strippers. They get to really express themselves. As I recall so does .38's "Hold on Loosely." Bad Co's "Ready For Love" would inspire them to new heights as well.
Guns and Roses seems to work well too. Honestly, I enjoy the music and atmosphere of a strip club more than the actual strippers. I find the strippers boring because there so one dimesional. I think I would enjoy the strippers more if I had some backstory on them, i.e Diamond is on the pole because her daddy wouldn't buy her a pony when she was 8. That way I could understand their motivation.
StoopTroup
6/10/2006, 01:00 PM
Guns and Roses seems to work well too. Honestly, I enjoy the music and atmosphere of a strip club more than the actual strippers. I find the strippers boring because there so one dimesional. I think I would enjoy the strippers more if I had some backstory on them, i.e Diamond is on the pole because her daddy wouldn't buy her a pony when she was 8. That way I could understand their motivation.
That is an awesome idea....
http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/journalists/geraldo-rivera/Geraldo.jpg
Okla-homey
6/10/2006, 01:20 PM
Jasmine is shaking her groove thing tonight b/c hopes to raise bail for her common-law husband who is in the county jug awaiting trial on charges of possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance. Give it up for Jasmine!
SicEmBaylor
6/10/2006, 01:34 PM
I feel dirty after reading this thread.
Need a shower.
mdklatt
6/10/2006, 09:55 PM
I feel dirty
Hot carl?
Need a shower.
Without the Saran Wrap?
soonerboomer93
6/10/2006, 11:43 PM
I feel dirty after reading this thread.
Need a shower.
Baylor is rubbing off on you.
Dean will take you man card when ready
:D
SicEmBaylor
6/11/2006, 02:11 AM
There's a place just outside of Waco called Sonny's it's a BYOB that my friends and I would go to after we drank too much. It was run by this semi-sleazy Baylor graduate who gave a cover charge discount when you showed your Baylor ID.
A fine establishment; the women were only so-so but when it's that late at night and you've had that much to drink who cares. :D
(I said the thread made me feel dirty; I never said I've never partaken)
Okla-homey
6/11/2006, 08:05 AM
In the 80's there was a TB in OKC called "The Beaver Palace." I have no idea if its still in bidness, but it was a big 'un.
Best TB experience evar: "Cheetah's" in ATL.
BeetDigger
6/11/2006, 07:39 PM
The most pathetic sight I have ever seen was in Arlington. I used to work down there and we went out for a quick breakfast sandwhich. Drove past one of the more run down places, and when you are comparatively run down in that area, you are in bad shape. We went by about 9 am and there is some skanky looking woman out sitting on the front step of that place waiting for someone to come and open up. So, not only does she strip the early shift at one of the worst places around, but her "old man" has to drop her off before the place even opens up.
SoonerInKCMO
6/11/2006, 07:47 PM
"Faithfully" tends to bring out the best in strippers. They get to really express themselves. As I recall so does .38's "Hold on Loosely." Bad Co's "Ready For Love" would inspire them to new heights as well.
There was a lady at Night Trips that used to really work it out to some Sinatra. Weird.
soonercody
6/11/2006, 07:59 PM
A girl in OKC "the lovely Kayla" used to dance really fast to country music. She'd smack dood in the midsection with her butt from the stage and knock 'em backerds into their chairs or what not. It was some high quality entertainment.
There's a place just outside of Waco called Sonny's it's a BYOB that my friends and I would go to after we drank too much. It was run by this semi-sleazy Baylor graduate who gave a cover charge discount when you showed your Baylor ID.
A fine establishment; the women were only so-so but when it's that late at night and you've had that much to drink who cares. :D
(I said the thread made me feel dirty; I never said I've never partaken)
I've been there. Your rating of the dancers is quite generous...... :eek:
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