Friday. Joke

[soonerbrat]

Some high school coaches went to a coaches; retreat. To save money, they had to room together. No one wanted to room with Coach Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first coach slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just
sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different coach's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."

[proud gonzo]

heh

[mojo]

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night...Thought you might like to come. About 5:00 PM."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank You."
As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin'."
"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too." "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there.

By the way, what should I wear?"
"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

[soonerhubs]

Sweet jokes folks.

[tulsaoilerfan]

LOL, pretty funny stuff

[mojo]

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.

Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"



That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

"A female horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.



"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?

Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?

The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrazthe that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit.

[Jimminy Crimson]

...she's a midget with a speech impediment...

SBSB is gonna be so pizzed off! ;)

[walkoffsooner]

A man was having a O every time he sneezed. But he had to go to town he was in a store and sneezed so he unzipped and cleaned it off.A woman saw him and thought that is disgusting.As they shopped he did it three more times.Finally she couldnt take it any more and told him you are the nastiest man I have ever seen.He said i'm sorry its a medical problem when I sneeze I cum.She said are you taking anything for it he say yes.Pepper

[Osce0la]

I got a good one:


Some high school coaches went to a coaches; retreat. To save money, they had to room together. No one wanted to room with Coach Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first coach slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just
sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different coach's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."

:D

[SelmaBamaFan]

Deja vu?

[mojo]

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home
Depot when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for
my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says,"Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your
wife look like?

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair,
blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts.
What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.

[toast]

On a man's 92nd birthday his friends put him up for a night in a nice hotel. They make arrangements for a call girl to visit him that night. At around 11:00 p.m. the man hears a knock at the door and opens the door.

"Hello," says the call girl, "I'm here to give you super sex."

"What?" replies the old man.

"Your friends asked to me come here and give you super sex." she stated once more.

"Well, in that case I'll take the soup."

[OKC Sooner]

These two older couples had been best friends for many years. One Saturday, they decided to grill steaks and eat on the patio.

The two old gents were flipping steaks at the grill. The first one says, You ought to try this new restaurant the wife and I went to last night. The food's incredible.

The second old gent says, Sounds good, what's the name of the restaurant?

The first old gent says, Dang it, I knew it until you asked me. Help me out here... what the name of that flower... it's red, you give it to people you love, it's got thorns...?

Second old gent says, A rose??

First old gent says, Oh yeah, yeah... that's it... He turns around and hollers, HEY ROSE... what was the name of that place we ate last night?