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View Full Version : Hi Dean!



BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 02:32 PM
:les: STOP LEAVING!!!

dolemitesooner
5/30/2006, 02:33 PM
oR i WILL GANK A MOTHER ****ER

bri
5/30/2006, 02:33 PM
Why don't you love me, Daddy?

dolemitesooner
5/30/2006, 02:34 PM
he said he was my daddy. Does that make us brothers?

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 02:35 PM
There will be no brotherly love in a Dean thread.

Got it?

colleyvillesooner
5/30/2006, 02:35 PM
he said he was my daddy. Does that make us brothers?

No, just makes you guys creepy. ;)

dolemitesooner
5/30/2006, 02:36 PM
Bri is my brother and I didnt even know it.

C&CDean
5/30/2006, 02:39 PM
Awwwww......

This warms the cockles of my black, cold, calloused heart. Well at least it warms my cockles.

I've been out with injury. Seems me and this chainsaw had a little tango. Of course a lesser man would have been known henceforth and forevermore as "Stumpy."

Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....

slickdawg
5/30/2006, 02:41 PM
Awwwww......

This warms the cockles of my black, cold, calloused heart. Well at least it warms my cockles.

I've been out with injury. Seems me and this chainsaw had a little tango. Of course a lesser man would have been known henceforth and forevermore as "Stumpy."

Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....


Dang Dean, I didn't figure you for the suicide type.



:D


glad you are ok!

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 02:41 PM
Awwwww......

This warms the cockles of my black, cold, calloused heart. Well at least it warms my cockles.

I've been out with injury. Seems me and this chainsaw had a little tango. Of course a lesser man would have been known henceforth and forevermore as "Stumpy."

Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....

I swear...with everything I am...one of these days I'm gonna follow you around with a camera for about a month.

I just wanna know what it's like...:mack:


'Cockles'. Heh.

dolemitesooner
5/30/2006, 02:41 PM
Awwwww......

This warms the cockles of my black, cold, calloused heart. Well at least it warms my cockles.

I've been out with injury. Seems me and this chainsaw had a little tango. Of course a lesser man would have been known henceforth and forevermore as "Stumpy."

Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....

**** lesser man...I could do somthing stupid like that blinfolded

SoonerInKCMO
5/30/2006, 02:42 PM
Dayum Dean!

Howzit
5/30/2006, 02:42 PM
DEAN'S GOT LORTAB!!!1

Dang, dude, sounds like you were almost lesser a leg.

SoonerInKCMO
5/30/2006, 02:43 PM
Hey - didn't you fall off a ladder while using a chainsaw last Spring/Summer?

Somebody may be trying to tell you something. :D

dolemitesooner
5/30/2006, 02:44 PM
YEAH LIKE DON'T GET 25 FEET UP WITH A CHAINSAW

C&CDean
5/30/2006, 02:48 PM
DEAN'S GOT LORTAB!!!1

Dang, dude, sounds like you were almost lesser a leg.

No doubt.

You'll have to ask momma about the young yainch in the emergency room. She's about 20-25, blonde, semi-cute. I'm laying there with both legs of my overalls all tore up, blood everywhere, and here she is squeezing my arms going "dang, if your man didn't have these big ol' arms, he'd a lost that leg." Momma goes "yeah, prolly, now squirt the damn water in the cuts, not on his balls."

Of course momma took a couple pictures of me after they cut the legs outta the overalls. We're talking hillbilly now. Muh****in' hillbilly.

C&CDean
5/30/2006, 02:49 PM
Hey - didn't you fall off a ladder while using a chainsaw last Spring/Summer?

Somebody may be trying to tell you something. :D

Yup. That's why I built the cage for the loader. I just didn't count on my FIL yanking the joystick down when I said "up."

slickdawg
5/30/2006, 02:51 PM
Yup. That's why I built the cage for the loader. I just didn't count on my FIL yanking the joystick down when I said "up."


k1nky!

Viking Kitten
5/30/2006, 02:52 PM
No doubt.

You'll have to ask momma about the young yainch in the emergency room. She's about 20-25, blonde, semi-cute. I'm laying there with both legs of my overalls all tore up, blood everywhere, and here she is squeezing my arms going "dang, if your man didn't have these big ol' arms, he'd a lost that leg." Momma goes "yeah, prolly, now squirt the damn water in the cuts, not on his balls."

Of course momma took a couple pictures of me after they cut the legs outta the overalls. We're talking hillbilly now. Muh****in' hillbilly.

This week's edition of "Appalachian ER" brought to you by Bugler Rolling Papers.

Viking Kitten
5/30/2006, 02:52 PM
And I missed you, Deanie. Can I squeeze your... arms?

colleyvillesooner
5/30/2006, 02:56 PM
No doubt.

You'll have to ask momma about the young yainch in the emergency room. She's about 20-25, blonde, semi-cute. I'm laying there with both legs of my overalls all tore up, blood everywhere, and here she is squeezing my arms going "dang, if your man didn't have these big ol' arms, he'd a lost that leg." Momma goes "yeah, prolly, now squirt the damn water in the cuts, not on his balls."

Of course momma took a couple pictures of me after they cut the legs outta the overalls. We're talking hillbilly now. Muh****in' hillbilly.

Yeah, we're gonna need to see those pics.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 02:57 PM
Of course momma took a couple pictures of me after they cut the legs outta the overalls. We're talking hillbilly now. Muh****in' hillbilly.

Howzit shorts?

:eddie:

IB4OU2
5/30/2006, 03:09 PM
Good God Buddy I'm glad you're OK! Chainsaws and frontend loaders are'nt a good mix when a hard of hearing FIL is at the controls. Let me know if you need more Lortab and I'm glad your back in one piece (stitches and all).

Soonrboy
5/30/2006, 03:12 PM
Glad you're back, Dean. The place has been hobbling around without you.

TexasLidig8r
5/30/2006, 03:12 PM
Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....

Let's see where the liability falls shall we?

First, the chainsaw was defectively designed since the manufacturer, knew, or should have known, that it would be used to trim trees. Trees grow up. Branches go up. Therefore, it was foreseeable that it would be used while in an elevated position. Had said saw had an automatic kick off device, (whereas if the saw descends at more than a 40 degree angle and the safety switch is not being held down by the thumb on your passive hand), this heinous injury would not have occurred.

Second.. the loader was obviously defective. Since the manufacturer designed it with a front end loader, said manufacturer obviously knew it could be used for elevated functions. Therefore, it should have also manufactured a cage to be used to steady a person who uses said front loader to elevate the person to have repair and maintenance work performed.

Two very deep pocket defendants. One, experienced lawyer. A man of the earth client with lots of appeal to the good citizens of Oklahoma.

Jury verdict... $3.5 million. I reduce my take to a mere 50%. You clear, tax free, $1.75 million. What say you? :D

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 03:13 PM
Let's see where the liability falls shall we?

First, the chainsaw was defectively designed since the manufacturer, knew, or should have known, that it would be used to trim trees. Trees grow up. Branches go up. Therefore, it was foreseeable that it would be used while in an elevated position. Had said saw had an automatic kick off device, (whereas if the saw descends at more than a 40 degree angle and the safety switch is not being held down by the thumb on your passive hand), this heinous injury would not have occurred.

Second.. the loader was obviously defective. Since the manufacturer designed it with a front end loader, said manufacturer obviously knew it could be used for elevated functions. Therefore, it should have also manufactured a cage to be used to steady a person who uses said front loader to elevate the person to have repair and maintenance work performed.

Two very deep pocket defendants. One, experienced lawyer. A man of the earth client with lots of appeal to the good citizens of Oklahoma.

Jury verdict... $3.5 million. I reduce my take to a mere 50%. You clear, tax free, $1.75 million. What say you? :D

If he ain't interested I'll meet you at Sears.

Lawn and garden department...

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
5/30/2006, 03:17 PM
I'm thinking Dean deserves a Pick Me Up Bouquet or a gardener.

Glad you're ok Big Poppa.

Beef
5/30/2006, 03:20 PM
If he ain't interested I'll meet you at Sears.

Lawn and garden department...
Kinky.

Mjcpr
5/30/2006, 03:22 PM
It takes a dumb mother****er to almost cut his legs off with a chainsaw while standing in the box of a front end loader while some other dip**** moves it around.

Just sayin'...

:D

1stTimeCaller
5/30/2006, 03:23 PM
who knew Dean was trying out for the Darwin Awards?

Glad you're OK big guy but really, be safer next time.

Beef
5/30/2006, 03:28 PM
BSG made a sticky!

GottaHavePride
5/30/2006, 03:45 PM
Holy cow! Glad you're ok, Dean.

Of course, it'd take more than that to kill Dean anyway. The chainsaw was not prepared to put forth the effort.

Mjcpr
5/30/2006, 03:46 PM
I shudder to think what kind of damage the chainsaw suffered.

NormanPride
5/30/2006, 03:55 PM
So have you and the chainsaw made up yet? Glad to hear you've still got all your appendages!

Viking Kitten
5/30/2006, 03:56 PM
BSG made a sticky!

The JB is a powerful thing.

achiro
5/30/2006, 04:20 PM
If he ain't interested I'll meet you at Sears.

Lawn and garden department...

HEH! YMSSA!

I'd like to be a part of that action if you please!:D

yermom
5/30/2006, 04:54 PM
dang, Dean i figured you were off in DC again or something

glad to see you in one piece after that :D

olevetonahill
5/30/2006, 05:24 PM
Dayum Guy
Im like yermom in that i was under the impression you were out of town .
Not OUT OF YOUR EVERLOVING MIND :eek:
Hope you have a full recovery

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 05:26 PM
Can I be the squirter of the cuts?

That job would RULE.

Viking Kitten
5/30/2006, 05:27 PM
I'd Jello wrassle BSG for the job, Dean.

OCUDad
5/30/2006, 05:32 PM
Am I the only one to pick up on the implication that this whole mess is due to Dean's FIL "misunderstanding" his instructions? Are we sure this was an accident, or is Mrs. Dean enlisting her family in an effort to rid herself of the "ol' ball and chain"?

TUSooner
5/30/2006, 05:38 PM
It takes a dumb mother****er to almost cut his legs off with a chainsaw while standing in the box of a front end loader while some other dip**** moves it around.

Just sayin'...

:D

Lidi just struck you from the jury.

C&CDean
5/30/2006, 05:59 PM
OK. I've masturbated twice to this thread already - with VK and BSG as the maids of honor. Or is that matrons?

Anyhow, thanks for the well wishes. I'm currently in Baltimore (let me tell you, I do NOT recommend 4 hours in the airplane/s with a bunch of stitches right above your knee and a flight attendant who feels the need to caress your leg when she talks to you). Just got back from dinner/drinks, and it's only about 7 pm here. You know I'm in sad shape when I leave the bar when all the construction boys and the night waitresses with all the hooters and **** are just showing up.

On a more serious note, the ol' FIL is already back in Iowa. And I really did feel bad for him. Dude was tore completely up. I kept telling him "it ain't no big deal" to which he answered "bull****, it is a big deal" to which I answered "well yeah, I guess it is a big deal when you dump your beloved son-in-law outta the loader at 25 feet onto a chainsaw with a brandy-new chain running full throttle!!!!! You no account son of an Iowegian whorehound!!!!

Or something like that.

Howzit
5/30/2006, 06:01 PM
OK. I've masturbated twice to this thread already - with VK and BSG as the maids of honor. Or is that matrons?

Anyhow, thanks for the well wishes. I'm currently in Baltimore (let me tell you, I do NOT recommend 4 hours in the airplane/s with a bunch of stitches right above your knee and a flight attendant who feels the need to caress your leg when she talks to you). Just got back from dinner/drinks, and it's only about 7 pm here. You know I'm in sad shape when I leave the bar when all the construction boys and the night waitresses with all the hooters and **** are just showing up.

On a more serious note, the ol' FIL is already back in Iowa. And I really did feel bad for him. Dude was tore completely up. I kept telling him "it ain't no big deal" to which he answered "bull****, it is a big deal" to which I answered "well yeah, I guess it is a big deal when you dump your beloved son-in-law outta the loader at 25 feet onto a chainsaw with a brandy-new chain running full throttle!!!!! You no account son of an Iowegian whorehound!!!!

Or something like that.
That's the Lortab talkin', folks.

olevetonahill
5/30/2006, 06:04 PM
Thasts the Dean we all know and love:cool:

C&CDean
5/30/2006, 06:06 PM
That's the Lortab talkin', folks.


****in' A!

Viking Kitten
5/30/2006, 06:07 PM
Try it with Benadryl.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/30/2006, 06:09 PM
And Jello...

C&CDean
5/30/2006, 06:11 PM
Bitches. Now I'm hard again.

Howzit
5/30/2006, 06:14 PM
Bitches. Now I'm hard again.

Me too!

TexasLidig8r
5/30/2006, 06:20 PM
Bitches. Now I'm hard again.

Upper head?

Tailwind
5/30/2006, 08:04 PM
Damn!

Sooner_Bob
5/30/2006, 08:26 PM
Awwwww......

This warms the cockles of my black, cold, calloused heart. Well at least it warms my cockles.

I've been out with injury. Seems me and this chainsaw had a little tango. Of course a lesser man would have been known henceforth and forevermore as "Stumpy."

Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....

A lesser man? Pffffft . . .

A smarter man would've hired it out. :P And sat back and watched. :D




Glad you're OK . . . too bad the chainsaw is probably ruined. :D

GottaHavePride
5/30/2006, 09:01 PM
Little did they know the character Wolverine was based on Dean, except Dean doesn't have any sissy claws.

slickdawg
5/30/2006, 09:05 PM
I think VK and BSG should go show Dean some special lovin. :D

BigRedJed
5/30/2006, 09:42 PM
Some quick observations:

1. Lortab is excellent. See "Kidney Stones" thread.

2. Mjcpr posted like Dean would have posted if some other dumbass had been cutting tree limbs in his loader and cut hisself up like a dumbass. Very nicely done, Pat.

3. VK and BSG jello wrasslin'. Oof.

4. Dean masturbating. Ewww.

5. Lid ambulance chasing. Duh.

6. VK and BSG jello wrasslin'. Sorry, just wanted to type that again.

7. Despite his best efforts, and the best efforts of his FIL, Dean seems to be OK, and in his previous posting form, for which we can all be grateful.

Glad you didn't win a Darwin Award, Dean. We'll compare scars at a tailgate. I have another, badass one from earlier this year that I decided to spare the board from having to hear about (I'm sure you're all shocked), but I'll show it to you if you're nice.

Zbird
5/30/2006, 10:16 PM
Awwwww......

This warms the cockles of my black, cold, calloused heart. Well at least it warms my cockles.

I've been out with injury. Seems me and this chainsaw had a little tango. Of course a lesser man would have been known henceforth and forevermore as "Stumpy."

Seriously, I took a week off work to clear some trees. Had the dozer man rocking and rolling, and I was steady trimming trees. Until I stuck a chainsaw in my leg. Lots of stitches and all that groovy stuff. And I did it while falling from a bucket on the front end loader from about 25 feet or so.

Like I said, a lesser man.....

Didn't get hurt huh? Land on your head?

OCUDad
5/30/2006, 10:33 PM
VK and BSG jello-wrasslin' ?
http://f5.putfile.com/5/14923303127.jpg (http://www.putfile.com)

BigRedJed
5/30/2006, 10:48 PM
Phht. That doesn't even get a sniff of the hotness that would ensue. I mean, that picture actually kind of grosses me out, and I can guarantee you, having been in the same general vicinity as said VK and BSG, if they jello wrassled, I for one would be the exact opposite of grossed out.

OCUDad
5/30/2006, 10:55 PM
Pics?

BigRedJed
5/30/2006, 10:56 PM
Oh, I have them.

Czar Soonerov
5/30/2006, 11:16 PM
With a little Patron, anything is possible.

Beano's Fourth Chin
5/31/2006, 12:47 AM
I'm banning all of you and sort this mess out in the morning.

proud gonzo
5/31/2006, 01:10 AM
Dean needs a really cute nickname like Snaggle-Leg or something.

Beano's Fourth Chin
5/31/2006, 01:35 AM
LongJohn Silver.

ARRRGH!

opksooner
5/31/2006, 05:29 AM
It hasn't been asked yet.

How's the chain-saw?

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 08:12 AM
May I suggest one of these?
http://www.gearshop.com/images/items/small_HIFTRC51128.jpg

paired up with one of these
http://www.tritechfallprotection.com/images/products/PPE/product/FPTT288226.jpg

Falling 25 feet onto a chainsaw you're lucky that the chainsaw was the only thing you had a problem with.

IB4OU2
5/31/2006, 08:14 AM
LongJohn Silver.

ARRRGH!

The Flying Poulando! :D

Viking Kitten
5/31/2006, 08:15 AM
Please tell me that saggy, gray thing is not that girl's boob. Ew.


VK and BSG jello-wrasslin' ?
http://f5.putfile.com/5/14923303127.jpg (http://www.putfile.com)

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 08:22 AM
It's a boob-weapon.

*SLAP*!

slickdawg
5/31/2006, 09:14 AM
I think it is VK, but the other rasslers knee is pushing it down.

still EWWWW.

Osce0la
5/31/2006, 09:16 AM
A lesser man? Pffffft . . .

A smarter man would've hired it out. :P And sat back and watched. :D




Glad you're OK . . . too bad the chainsaw is probably ruined. :D
You think :dean: would waste his money to hire some messican sap to mess up the trees? Come on now, this is :dean: we're talking about. Why throw your money out the window when you can have someone almost kill you for much cheaper.

hurricane'bone
5/31/2006, 09:25 AM
May I suggest one of these?
http://www.gearshop.com/images/items/small_HIFTRC51128.jpg

paired up with one of these
http://www.tritechfallprotection.com/images/products/PPE/product/FPTT288226.jpg

Falling 25 feet onto a chainsaw you're lucky that the chainsaw was the only thing you had a problem with.


But make sure to put some clothes on.

Howzit
5/31/2006, 09:28 AM
May I suggest one of these?
http://www.gearshop.com/images/items/small_HIFTRC51128.jpg



The Mrs and I have one o' them there sex swings kind of resembles that.

OU4LIFE
5/31/2006, 09:29 AM
Is the chainsaw ok? that's all I really care about.

IB4OU2
5/31/2006, 09:32 AM
Please tell me that saggy, gray thing is not that girl's boob. Ew.

In a few years she'll have to tie them around her waist to wrastle, either that or cinch them down over her shoulders....:eek:

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 09:37 AM
The Mrs and I have one o' them there sex swings kind of resembles that.

Where do you think she got that idea?

http://myspace-615.vo.llnwd.net/00475/51/60/475160615_l.jpg

Howzit
5/31/2006, 09:42 AM
No wonder she asked me to wear a construction helmet.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 09:42 AM
That's one of the strangest hands I've ever seen...

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 09:44 AM
mine?

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 09:46 AM
Yes.

Robster craw?

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 09:47 AM
:les: I'm throwing the deuce!!!!

Howzit
5/31/2006, 09:47 AM
Ssscisssorsss!!!1

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2839/1tchelmet4dk.jpg

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 09:48 AM
:les: I'm throwing the deuce!!!!


Oh. Sorry. Heh.

My crackah-a$$ don't see jive in real-life that often.

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 09:49 AM
there's not near enough love to go around for you two.

Howzit
5/31/2006, 11:25 AM
One day Mrs Howzit will take the time to read the board and my days here will be done.

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 11:27 AM
can you show her the board tonight?

TexasLidig8r
5/31/2006, 12:26 PM
Ssscisssorsss!!!1

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2839/1tchelmet4dk.jpg What the hell are you doing there Mr. Scissor Hands? Clippin' off a nipple?

OU4LIFE
5/31/2006, 12:42 PM
can you show her the board tonight?

if by "board" you mean "wood" I think the obvious answers is "no".

Howzit
5/31/2006, 12:44 PM
if by "board" you mean "wood" I think the obvious answers is "no".

Check your peem box.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 01:09 PM
No wonder Dean leaves a lot.

Mjcpr
5/31/2006, 01:13 PM
Remember when Dean and his son Hank helped Jimmy Carter build that house for Habitat for Humanity....it was after the accident, of course.

http://www.simplygreg.com/Pics/kohFatherSonAndJC.jpg

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 01:14 PM
^^^^^^

OMG, that's too damned funny.

BTW, does this incident make Dean King of the Dumbasses?

IB4OU2
5/31/2006, 01:15 PM
if by "board" you mean "wood" I think the obvious answers is "no".

TMI dude.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 01:17 PM
Remember when Dean tried to steal his wooden leg back from Santie Annie?

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 01:18 PM
Or the time they tried to repo Dean's Cadillac Car?

OU4LIFE
5/31/2006, 01:22 PM
http://members.cox.net/markandrob/1timevillage.jpg

1stTimeCaller
5/31/2006, 01:23 PM
I hate you even more today than I did yesterday.


Good jorb.

I blame Howzit.

Howzit
5/31/2006, 01:25 PM
Never mind about helping me move Friday...

Mjcpr
5/31/2006, 01:31 PM
Or the time they tried to repo Dean's Cadillac Car?

Dean is probably resting up after dealing with his newborn son, Good Dean.

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 02:48 PM
Remember when he first found out about Good Dean and ran off to Vegas?

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 06:08 PM
Remember when Bad Dean gave Czar waaaaay too much Crown?

:eddie:

Viking Kitten
5/31/2006, 06:17 PM
:mad:

BlondeSoonerGirl
5/31/2006, 06:19 PM
BAD Dean.

BAD, BAD Dean...

Czar Soonerov
5/31/2006, 06:41 PM
Remember when Bad Dean gave Czar waaaaay too much Crown?

:eddie:

:eddie: I succumbed to temptation and did shots with Dean, then peed on a middle school.

Howzit
5/31/2006, 08:12 PM
Remember when Dean sent a very drunk DCSooner on a kitty safari with a loaded shotgun?

Sooner_Bob
5/31/2006, 08:43 PM
Remember when Dean sent a very drunk DCSooner on a kitty safari with a loaded shotgun?


It all makes so much more sense now . . . :eddie:

Howzit
5/31/2006, 08:53 PM
Remember when Dean threatened Nickleback with a spoon at the 2005 Spring Tailgate?

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
5/31/2006, 09:40 PM
Remember when Dean met a group of us at O'Connell's in 2003 the night before the season opener and bought us a round?

Good times.

C&CDean
5/31/2006, 10:53 PM
You people. I love all y'all. Well except those of you who are *******s - which means I pretty much hate all y'all. Except BSG, SBSB, VK, and the assorted men I've had sex with - which pretty much means I love all y'all.

My day today -

Go to a meeting at 0800 EDST. Leave said meeting at 2000 EDST. That's 12 ****ing hours people. This meeting could have happened in less than 1 hour. But no, a bunch of no-account sons-of-whores who are in love with the sound of their own voices went on....and on.....and on.....and on.....

At 7:45 I go "look, it's obvious we ain't gonna solve this problem tonight, let's go home and start again in the morning." About 40+ high brow, overpaid sons-of-bitches look at each other like this was some life changing epiphany and go "you know, he's right, let's meet at 0800." I'm like "you no good pieces of dog dung, we could have done this at 1700, and I could have had my good mussells - but no, you wait till after happy hour and then decide to call it quits.

So, I went to the 3 nine's tavern, drank a few double shots of Irish whisky, a couple of Yuenglings, and had me a cheeseburger sub.

Anyhow, I rip my bandages off, scrub the wound with soap and water, wrap her back up, and now I'm headed for the sack. I'm about halfway healed up already. By the time I go home Friday, I'm pretty much sure I won't even have a scar. Cause I'm like that.

GottaHavePride
5/31/2006, 11:25 PM
Anyhow, I rip my bandages off, scrub the wound with soap and water, wrap her back up, and now I'm headed for the sack. I'm about halfway healed up already. By the time I go home Friday, I'm pretty much sure I won't even have a scar. Cause I'm like that.

I told you people they based Wolverine on him. They just had to add the sissy claws. :rolleyes:

proud gonzo
5/31/2006, 11:34 PM
Dean wears yellow spandex? Who knew!

Sooner Born Sooner Bred
6/1/2006, 06:54 AM
Translation: "y'all STFU....pass the oxycontin w/ a Crown chaser."Wait. Dean is Rush Limbaugh?

That show would be A LOT better if he was.

slickdawg
6/1/2006, 08:40 AM
Dean, didja see this:

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=70437

OU4LIFE
6/1/2006, 09:53 AM
Dean, with great power comes great responsibility.

or something.

Osce0la
6/1/2006, 10:22 AM
I thought it was "With great power comes greater doctor bills" :confused:

PVSoonerFan
6/1/2006, 12:08 PM
Sorry to hear about your accident Deano..... just glad for momma's sake that Willy didn't get tangled up in the chain..... heal up my friend and drop by and see me when you are in the area....

TexasLidig8r
6/1/2006, 12:39 PM
Ya know.. something just doesn't seem right about this whole thing Deano.

You have pappa-in-law drivin the loader. This man raised his little girl.. was there with her at her first communion.. the first day she walked, her first words were probably "DaDa,".. He helped her through the most difficult days in her life, shared her greatest joys, held her through her most down moments.. dried her tears, knowing that he was her very first, and most important male role model.

Now.. that same man has his little baby's husband 25 feet in the air with a chainsaw in his hands. He thinks.. "Wait a second, Big Hoss here routinely sticks his arm up bull's butts to give them a happy ending, he drags dead horses around on his spread, he bought a gay bull, drinks Crown Royal, gives a drunken friend a shotgun to go kitty huntin' and he is regularly defiling my little angel!"

SURE it was an accident Hoss.. SURE.... ;)

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/1/2006, 01:12 PM
Hee hee...

GottaHavePride
6/1/2006, 01:15 PM
Dean, with great power comes great responsibility.

or something.

*ahem*

|
|
V

OU4LIFE
6/1/2006, 01:38 PM
well I did say "or something".

cut me some slack, I'm a n00b.

GottaHavePride
6/1/2006, 01:41 PM
:D

C&CDean
6/1/2006, 08:19 PM
Ya know.. something just doesn't seem right about this whole thing Deano.

You have pappa-in-law drivin the loader. This man raised his little girl.. was there with her at her first communion.. the first day she walked, her first words were probably "DaDa,".. He helped her through the most difficult days in her life, shared her greatest joys, held her through her most down moments.. dried her tears, knowing that he was her very first, and most important male role model.

Now.. that same man has his little baby's husband 25 feet in the air with a chainsaw in his hands. He thinks.. "Wait a second, Big Hoss here routinely sticks his arm up bull's butts to give them a happy ending, he drags dead horses around on his spread, he bought a gay bull, drinks Crown Royal, gives a drunken friend a shotgun to go kitty huntin' and he is regularly defiling my little angel!"

SURE it was an accident Hoss.. SURE.... ;)

You don't think it entered my mind?

I mean here's a guy who has been operating the loader all day with minute precision. Like a skilled neurosurgeon. Lining up between trees, making just the right turns, tilts, and lifts to put me in perfect position to lop the limbs. Very last tree. Very last limb. Loader all the way to the top. Tilt it just another foot higher.............and the son of a bitch drops out from underneath me like a trapdoor.

She must have told him I'm worth a hell of a lot more dead than alive. Hell, they prolly had a deal. Half a mil for you, half a mil for me, and I'll find some low-life city slicker to move in who we can off in about a week or so with another "accident."

Yeah, it's crossed my mind..........:meat:

C&CDean
6/1/2006, 08:40 PM
That'd be a great movie

I think I've seen it.

Gandalf_The_Grey
6/1/2006, 08:42 PM
This is why i don't watch UFC that much, because lets face it, the toughest hombre in the UFC couldn't last 13 seconds with Dean, they should call it the Ultimate Fighter Not Named Dean Championship!!

NYSooner1355
6/1/2006, 09:05 PM
If it hasn't been said before, let me be the first to say it...

This is a Darwin Award Classic!

C&CDean
6/1/2006, 09:13 PM
If it hasn't been said before, let me be the first to say it...

This is a Darwin Award Classic!

Uh, no. The Darwin award requires massive stupidity.

Now if I had tied the chainsaw to my neck, and was using a long stick to remotely control the tractor, or maybe if the FIL was a blind, deaf, and dumb hermaphrodite who's never operated machinery before and I had wired the chainsaw full throttle and was cutting the limbs while swinging from a rotten hemp rope then it might qualify. This wasn't anything like that. Hell man, OSHA would almost approve what I was doing. Darwin be damned.

olevetonahill
6/2/2006, 01:21 AM
Uh, no. The Darwin award requires massive stupidity.

Now if I had tied the chainsaw to my neck, and was using a long stick to remotely control the tractor, or maybe if the FIL was a blind, deaf, and dumb hermaphrodite who's never operated machinery before and I had wired the chainsaw full throttle and was cutting the limbs while swinging from a rotten hemp rope then it might qualify. This wasn't anything like that. Hell man, OSHA would almost approve what I was doing. Darwin be damned.

Dean you "trusted " the Daddy in law . Youve been poking "his " baby girl
= Darwin :eek:

1stTimeCaller
6/2/2006, 09:07 AM
OSHA would almost approve what I was doing
you're as wrong as two boys f**king

Dean, that is the definition of massive stupidity. You have lost your ability to call another person a dumbass ever again.

Spend the $200 on a harness and lanyard and tie yourself off next time, dumbass. ;)

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/2/2006, 09:23 AM
BANED!

slickdawg
6/2/2006, 09:35 AM
Dean, I've got some limbs that are partially broken and dead in the
remaining trees in my back yard, all thanks to Katrina.

I'm a :chicken: and wouldn't consider getting 20+ feet in the air to
cut them down. What's your availability to come help a brother out?


:D

Jimminy Crimson
6/2/2006, 12:51 PM
If the chainsaw had turned you into stubby, at least you woulda won all sorts of gold medals at the paralympics and sh!t.

Get well, you sonovabeyonce!

BlondeSoonerGirl
6/3/2006, 02:51 PM
I thought I saw Dean on my way down here to work.

But it wasn't him.

This guys was walking.

IB4OU2
6/3/2006, 03:09 PM
I thought I saw Dean on my way down here to work.

But it wasn't him.

This guys wasn't riding in the bucket of a frontend loader with a chainsaw. ;)

fixed-

and Dean you know wer'e just ;)

I put a step ladder on top of my CJ-7 Jeep once to reach a limb I wanted to cut down. It worked but in hindsight that was one of the more stupid a**ed moves I made in my life. :O

C&CDean
6/5/2006, 09:52 AM
The leg is healing nicely. No infections, gangrene, amputation, etc. going on. Nothing to see here, so time to un-sticky.

And 1TC, let me just tell you that if I was wearing a harness, I wouldn't have a danged leg. Being able to clear myself from the chainsaw kept me from cutting the damn thing off. If I was harnessed, it would went right on through. Besides, I was only 20 or so feet up. It wasn't like I was high or anything. I've taken 20 footers a thousand times.......

Czar Soonerov
6/5/2006, 09:57 AM
I've taken 20 footers a thousand times.......

You dirty girl you...