PDA

View Full Version : Storytime about the weird lady who came in to work today...


Melo
5/25/2006, 10:10 PM
This very large woman came in to work today, complete with low rise jeans, a small, pink, off the shoulders top and what I refer to as 'jesus sandals'.

Well, she comes in and sits down, and takes her time browsing the menu. Fine by me, I have other things to do. Finally she catches my attention, and I go to take her order. Everything goes well, and I go to the back to place the order. As I am walking away, she says 'Could you please bring me some saki?' Well, I'm underage, so I tell the waiter to get it for her. Saki, for those of you who dont know, is rice wine.

So a bit later, after TWO orders of saki, I determine that she had indeed been drinking before she came in to the restaurant.

She gave my manager some flip about her telling me she had wanted her order on two seperate checks, so I was angry that she was outright lying. I stood in the front at my desk, and I decided I wouldnt make eye contact with her. She gets up, comes up to me, grabs my hand and says to me 'Dear, you look SO tired! I KNOW! I work at Ihop, and I am a waitress, cashier AND hostess. I know how you feel.... *mumble mumble* long d*amn day.... *mumble mumble*...feel bad not picking up... *slur mumble*... F**K!

Not knowing what to say, I just gave her a big smile and said 'I am tired, but gotta keep going!' And she then says, 'Yea! Make that money! Gotta keep GOING!' And then her and the other dude handed me ten bucks.

Now that doesnt seem like a whole lot to some people, but I dont work for tips. :D

The end.
Tailwind
5/25/2006, 10:15 PM
Ok. Cool. Ten bucks is ten bucks.
tbl
5/25/2006, 10:17 PM
Is there any way I can recover that 2 minutes?
Melo
5/25/2006, 10:18 PM
Is there any way I can recover that 2 minutes?

Nope. :D
bri
5/25/2006, 10:18 PM
My only quibble with your story? It didn't end with you stabbing that skeeze in the neck with a fork. Or a spoon.

Or possibly even a spork. Or foon.
Melo
5/25/2006, 10:19 PM
My only quibble with your story? It didn't end with you stabbing that skeeze in the neck with a fork. Or a spoon.

Or possibly even a spork. Or foon.

I guess I COULD have stabboed her with some chopsticks, though it probably wouldnt look very nice since she just gave me ten bucks.
bri
5/25/2006, 10:23 PM
Next time you're in that situation, take a moment and ask yourself: What would an angry Armenian do?

:D
Melo
5/25/2006, 10:26 PM
Next time you're in that situation, take a moment and ask yourself: What would an angry Armenian do?

:D

Make a song about how disturbing society is? Yea, that DOES sound like them. ;)
SicEmBaylor
5/25/2006, 10:35 PM
I for one enjoyed the story. I'm genuinely entertained by bizzare work related tales. Anywhoo, do you have a policy about drinking too much saki or being drunk even before entering the restaurant?
picasso
5/25/2006, 10:36 PM
ah boom baba boom baba
OCUDad
5/25/2006, 10:44 PM
Next time you're in that situation, take a moment and ask yourself: What would an angry Armenian do?

:D
Easy. Take the ten bucks, thank her, and then stab her in the neck with chopsticks. Trust me. I know a lot of angry Armenians.
tbl
5/25/2006, 10:49 PM
Wouldn't a true Armenian just use their fingers instead of chopsticks?
OCUDad
5/25/2006, 10:52 PM
No. Why do you ask?
Scott D
5/25/2006, 10:55 PM
well you know, because chopsticks leaves fingerprints and stuff.
OCUDad
5/25/2006, 10:56 PM
And fingers don't?
Sooner24
5/25/2006, 10:57 PM
Are you sure she wasn't paying in advance for your services? :D
OCUDad
5/25/2006, 11:00 PM
I'm still trying to figure out where the "other dude" comes in. :confused:
tbl
5/25/2006, 11:11 PM
No doubt. He just pops in at the end, and then he's gone.
Jimminy Crimson
5/25/2006, 11:22 PM
Did she have big knockers? :texan:
Melo
5/25/2006, 11:25 PM
I'm still trying to figure out where the "other dude" comes in. :confused:

I deleted part of the first sentence, and with it, all mention of the other dude. the sentence was very awkward sounding. Didnt even think of it.

He was the guy that came with her. DD, probably.
Melo
5/25/2006, 11:26 PM
Did she have big knockers? :texan:

Um, not that I was really looking, but yes.
MamaMia
5/25/2006, 11:55 PM
I deleted part of the first sentence, and with it, all mention of the other dude. the sentence was very awkward sounding. Didnt even think of it.

He was the guy that came with her. DD, probably.She came in with Dusty Dvoracek and all you got was a lousy 10 bucks? :confused:
OCUDad
5/26/2006, 12:01 AM
Dead Drunk?
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:03 AM
She came in with Dusty Dvoracek and all you got was a lousy 10 bucks? :confused:


:O
I dont know who that is...
Jimminy Crimson
5/26/2006, 12:04 AM
:O
I dont know who that is...

dead. to. bsg. :eek:
pb4ou
5/26/2006, 12:04 AM
<shakes head>
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:05 AM
<shakes head>

Dont shake your head at me, Mister...
Jimminy Crimson
5/26/2006, 12:05 AM
http://sooner.nmn.speedera.net/pics3/400/ZA/ZATGMNNLESXCBWI.20030811192526.jpg
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:06 AM
http://sooner.nmn.speedera.net/pics3/400/ZA/ZATGMNNLESXCBWI.20030811192526.jpg

Is THAT DD?
Jimminy Crimson
5/26/2006, 12:08 AM
Is THAT DD?

What pb said. ;)


<shakes head>
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:13 AM
I dont pay much attention to actual players.

It's a well known fact that 75% of my attention goes towards the tight pants.
pb4ou
5/26/2006, 12:15 AM
Dont shake your head at me, Mister...

:P

http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/7918/shake5uc.gif (http://imageshack.us)

:D
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:17 AM
:P

http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/7918/shake5uc.gif (http://imageshack.us)

:D

You know, I was just thinking about it. What I WAS going to do was follow you around the board for a week and <shake my head> at every post you made. But then I thought about it, and I dont even know you very well. So scrath that idea. I'll just stick with this:

:mad:
MamaMia
5/26/2006, 12:18 AM
I dont pay much attention to actual players.

It's a well known fact that 75% of my attention goes towards the tight pants.


Here is DD in some tight pants :D

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/dd3.jpg
bri
5/26/2006, 12:18 AM
http://sooner.nmn.speedera.net/pics3/400/ZA/ZATGMNNLESXCBWI.20030811192526.jpg


UT-BAGGED!!!

:D
bri
5/26/2006, 12:19 AM
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/dd3.jpg


Hmmmmm....the ball IS lighter than the helmet...but the helmet is oh-so shiny!
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:19 AM
Here is DD in some tight pants :D

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/dd3.jpg

Thanks! Thats nice. :D
MamaMia
5/26/2006, 12:21 AM
Thanks! Thats nice. :D
I have other sexy football player photos. I'll be right back. :D
MamaMia
5/26/2006, 12:23 AM
Okay. This is one of my favorites. :D
I have a good one of AD as well.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/harris04_lg.jpg
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:24 AM
I have other sexy football player photos. I'll be right back. :D

Mom is my new favorite poster. :D
Melo
5/26/2006, 12:25 AM
Okay. This is one of my favorites. :D
I have a good one of AD as well.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/harris04_lg.jpg

Oooh!!!
stoops the eternal pimp
5/26/2006, 12:46 AM
i miss tommy
pb4ou
5/26/2006, 12:59 AM
http://f5.putfile.com/5/14501581043.gif (http://www.putfile.com)
MamaMia
5/26/2006, 01:00 AM
This is a double turn on, because you not only have your big strong Sooner in the tight pants, but hes standing over a cowardly horn in that sexy 'make my day' kind of pose.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/69.jpg
Melo
5/26/2006, 01:01 AM
That would be funnier if he were eating :twinkies:
Melo
5/26/2006, 01:01 AM
This is a double turn on, because you not only have your big strong Sooner in the tight pants, but hes standing over a cowardly horn in that sexy 'make my day' kind of pose.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/69.jpg

Youre right.
MamaMia
5/26/2006, 01:06 AM
Last, but not least:
This sexy Sooner photo of AD is what I call... 'Honey I'm home"

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/ad_HS_10.jpg
TUSooner
5/26/2006, 09:30 AM
Melo-
Was that a zen story?
Oh yeah, if I gotta ask, I'll never know, right?
Heh.
So it WAS a zen story. <nods head knowingly>
Good one!
LoyalFan
5/27/2006, 09:26 AM
Melo,

I'm sending a buddy to dine at your restaurant. Please wait on him personally.
Here's a pic so you can't miss him.
http://billmon.org/archives/creosote.gif

LoyalFan

PS: Make sure he eats that little after-dinner mint!
Howzit
5/27/2006, 10:08 AM
Melo-
Was that a zen story?
Oh yeah, if I gotta ask, I'll never know, right?
Heh.
So it WAS a zen story. <nods head knowingly>
Good one!

It's zen if she takes the order blindfolded.
OCUDad
5/27/2006, 12:04 PM
Okay. This is one of my favorites. :D
I have a good one of AD as well.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/OUmom/harris04_lg.jpg
If that picture was of a girl-type person, you'd be baned, no?
MamaMia
5/27/2006, 03:10 PM
If that picture was of a girl-type person, you'd be baned, no?
Probably so, since hes topless. :P
dolemitesooner
5/27/2006, 03:14 PM
wow those are some cool pics
dolemitesooner
5/27/2006, 03:16 PM
lol
Melo
5/27/2006, 03:25 PM
wow those are some cool pics

You know... that explains the whole 'frilly, lacy pantiy' thing now. :O
dolemitesooner
5/27/2006, 03:27 PM
what they are cool.......:mad:
Melo
5/27/2006, 03:28 PM
what they are cool.......:mad:

:rolleyes:
dolemitesooner
5/27/2006, 03:32 PM
:rolleyes:
I will kill you:cool: :P
Melo
5/27/2006, 03:55 PM
I will kill you:cool: :P

First you have to find me, then you have to catch me, and then you have to figure out if I am going to hit you in the face or kick you in your man parts.

All in all... I'd say I am quite safe. :D
Scott D
5/27/2006, 03:57 PM
First you have to find me, then you have to catch me, and then you have to figure out if I am going to hit you in the face or kick you in your man parts.

All in all... I'd say I am quite safe. :D

what man parts :D
Melo
5/27/2006, 03:59 PM
what man parts :D

Heh! :D

Good thing you said it and not me.
Scott D
5/27/2006, 04:09 PM
what's he gonna do? Threaten to get Dean to shoot me? :D
Melo
5/27/2006, 04:17 PM
hEe jSutt mIthg oG UBeR dOleO On Oy A5S!
dolemitesooner
5/27/2006, 07:55 PM
****Z I WILL SLAP YOU
JAP YOU
MARRY YOU
dIVORce you
Throw the porsce at you
thats what I am going to do
put my back against the wall
Crack is back YHALL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohh no she didnt
cause I am dolemite and I spit it


I love you some much I wrote you some of my own eminem poems melo
Melo
5/27/2006, 08:20 PM
****Z I WILL SLAP YOU
JAP YOU
MARRY YOU
dIVORce you
Throw the porsce at you
thats what I am going to do
put my back against the wall
Crack is back YHALL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohh no she didnt
cause I am dolemite and I spit it


I love you some much I wrote you some of my own eminem poems melo

I almost understood that. Weird.
dolemitesooner
5/27/2006, 08:27 PM
man I am AM POET AND i DIDNT FIN KNOW IT
Melo
5/27/2006, 08:30 PM
man I am AM POET AND i DIDNT FIN KNOW IT

Me neither.
SoonerInKCMO
5/27/2006, 09:15 PM
It's sake you tardbillies.
dolemitesooner
5/28/2006, 12:57 AM
What do you know?
Melo
5/28/2006, 01:06 AM
It's sake you tardbillies.

Ive never seen it written down before. Thats interesting.
StoopTroup
5/28/2006, 07:22 AM
The moral of the Story is...?

Working at IHOP will make you drink Sake and tip the ten bucks you made in tips?


This very large woman came in to work today, complete with low rise jeans, a small, pink, off the shoulders top and what I refer to as 'jesus sandals'.

Well, she comes in and sits down, and takes her time browsing the menu. Fine by me, I have other things to do. Finally she catches my attention, and I go to take her order. Everything goes well, and I go to the back to place the order. As I am walking away, she says 'Could you please bring me some saki?' Well, I'm underage, so I tell the waiter to get it for her. Saki, for those of you who dont know, is rice wine.

So a bit later, after TWO orders of saki, I determine that she had indeed been drinking before she came in to the restaurant.

She gave my manager some flip about her telling me she had wanted her order on two seperate checks, so I was angry that she was outright lying. I stood in the front at my desk, and I decided I wouldnt make eye contact with her. She gets up, comes up to me, grabs my hand and says to me 'Dear, you look SO tired! I KNOW! I work at Ihop, and I am a waitress, cashier AND hostess. I know how you feel.... *mumble mumble* long d*amn day.... *mumble mumble*...feel bad not picking up... *slur mumble*... F**K!

Not knowing what to say, I just gave her a big smile and said 'I am tired, but gotta keep going!' And she then says, 'Yea! Make that money! Gotta keep GOING!' And then her and the other dude handed me ten bucks.

Now that doesnt seem like a whole lot to some people, but I dont work for tips. :D

The end.
TheHumanAlphabet
5/28/2006, 11:52 AM
Okay, where do you work that has Sake in stock other than a Sushi bar?
Melo
5/28/2006, 02:12 PM
Okay, where do you work that has Sake in stock other than a Sushi bar?

A chinese restauraunt?
TheHumanAlphabet
5/28/2006, 11:44 PM
How interesting for a CHINESE restaurant to stock the JAPANESE national spirit...

Do you get much call for sake? It is a rather obscure drink and acquired taste, not one many in the U.S. have partaken.
Melo
5/28/2006, 11:51 PM
My error. It isnt chinese, it is really an 'oriental' restaraunt. But I get so used to calling it chinese.

I never knew much about Sake. They keep it in the back of the refridgerator, behind the beer and stuff. I just might ask about it tomorrow, though.