Ode to My Car

[Viking Kitten]

An old song... but very timely in the Soonerov household.

Here we go...

Piece of **** car
I got a piece of **** car
That ****in' pile of ****
Never gets me very far

My car's a big piece of ****
'Cause the shocks are ****ing shot
And my seatbelt's ****ing broken
I got to tie it in a knot
(It's a piece of ****)

I can't see through the windshield
'Cause it's got a big ****ing' crack
And the interior smells real bad
'Cause my friend puked in the back
(It's a piece of ****)

(Piece of **** car)
Piece of **** car
(He's got a piece of **** car)
It sucks royal d**k
(That ****in' pile of ****)
100% crap
(Never gets him very far)
Oh **** you car

It's got no CD player, it only got the 8-track
Whoever designed my car can lick my sweaty nut sack
(They can bite his *** too)
And I got no ****in' brakes
I'm always way out of control
Eleven times a day I hear "Hey, watch it a**hole"
(You ****in' piece of ****)

(Piece of **** car)
I got piece of **** car
(He got a piece of **** car)
Diesel gas sucks my ***
(That ****in' pile of ****)
That pile of metal ****
(Never gets him very far)

Oh what the **** did I do
What the **** did I do
What the **** did I do
To get stuck with you
You're too wide for drive-thru
And you smell like the shoe
But I'm too broke to buy something new
Oh **** me

Well the engine likes to flood
The car always ****in' stalls
And the seat cushion's got a big rip
So a spring always pokes the balls
(Ouch, ouch, ouch)
Plus the door locks are busted
I gotta use a ****ing coat hanger
(What a pain in his ***)
And if a girlie sees my car
There's no chance I'll ever bang her
(He never ever gets da p***y)
Hey shut up
(Piece of **** car)
You piece of **** car

(You got a piece of **** car)
You piece of **** car
(Piece of **** car)
Bald ****in' tires
(You got a piece of **** car)
No rearview ****ing mirror
(Piece of **** car)
Seven different colors
(You got a piece of **** car)
****ing rag for a gas cap
(Piece of **** car)
Tailpipe makes the sparks fly everywhere
(You got a piece of **** car)
(Piece of **** car)
(You got a piece of **** car)
(Piece of **** car)
Oh the whole town thinks I'm a loser
(You got a piece of **** car)
Cabby give me a push
(Piece of **** car...)

[Mjcpr]

Dang it. That'n always makes me cry.

[bri]

Maybe if you didn't drive it into horses and stuff, you could have nice things.

Sheesh, women drivers. :rolleyes:

[IB4OU2]

I thought you spelled Czar with a 'Z'................:confused: ;)

[Viking Kitten]

Maybe if you didn't drive it into horses and stuff, you could have nice things.

Sheesh, women drivers. :rolleyes:

It was a concrete barrier this time, for your information.

[crawfish]

I love the use of the SO for the public airing of greivances against spouses.

Unless it's mine.

[bri]

wow, you've graduated to stationary targets.

I'd ask if you've considered NOT sucking, but Czar assures me that you're already WELL ahead of me on that one. :D

[Viking Kitten]

Perhaps he should consider providing me with better transportation options.

BTW Czar, I've now set you up for your obligatory, "what... like a broom?" comment. You are welcome.

[Sooner_Bob]

wow, you've graduated to stationary targets.




Pffft. I guess hitting a moving target was too easy. :P

[jk the sooner fan]

this is such an appropriate thread since the car i drive died yesterday and had to be towed to the shop......most of it was under warranty, including the tow

i only drive this car to work and home, and occasionally to the golf course....since i dont have a car payment, i am hard pressed to get something new and have a car payment when thats all i use it for

but.....i think its time

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

Not often that a warranty outlives the car.

I've pretty much convinced myself that I don't want a new car ever again. I'm addicted to not having a car payment.

[Sooner_Bob]

jk,

You look like a Yaris kinda guy . . .

http://forums.autoweek.com/servlet/JiveServlet/download/235-21571-481212-19808/yaris.jpg

[jk the sooner fan]

Not often that a warranty outlives the car.

I've pretty much convinced myself that I don't want a new car ever again. I'm addicted to not having a car payment.

well, this is repair warranty.....11 months ago, the alternator and battery completely died....so yesterday, the car wont start, turn over, nothing, nada, zilch......so i guess the battery was just a bad one, they paid for the tow and the new battery

i paid for the new brakes.......:O

and i think i'm of the same opinion about new cars....i just think its generally speaking a bad investment

[Viking Kitten]

Not often that a warranty outlives the car.

I've pretty much convinced myself that I don't want a new car ever again. I'm addicted to not having a car payment.

Yes. I drove this particular piece of **** for many years and loved not having a car payment. It also costs about $30 a year to tag, practically nothing to insure, and gets amazing gas mileage as there is no AC.

Then the piece of **** just got too ****ty even for my cheap a**, so I finally had to get something new. It is such a piece of **** we couldn't even give it away, so it has certainly come in handy this week while my pretty car is being tended to.

[Mjcpr]

Then the piece of **** just got too ****ty even for my cheap a**, so I finally had to get something new. It is such a piece of **** we couldn't even give it away

I bet it looks so nice sitting in the driveway too.

[Viking Kitten]

I bet it looks so nice sitting in the driveway too.

Oh no. We hide that bitch in the garage... believe me.

[yermom]

i just think its generally speaking a bad investment

i'm addicted to the amenities afforded by a new car

A/C, starting every morning, warranty, etc...

i've owned like 8 used/hand-me-down cars, and i love the peace of mind of a new/newish one

maybe once this one is paid off it will be different though

[jk the sooner fan]

jk,

You look like a Yaris kinda guy . . .

http://forums.autoweek.com/servlet/JiveServlet/download/235-21571-481212-19808/yaris.jpg

typically speaking you want the car to be bigger than the person driving it

[yermom]

by the way, i think Adam Sandler wrote that song after seeing the '72 Buick Skylark i got from my stepdad...

[Sooner_Bob]

typically speaking you want the car to be bigger than the person driving it



Heh

[Viking Kitten]

i'm addicted to the amenities afforded by a new car

A/C, starting every morning, warranty, etc...

i've owned like 8 used/hand-me-down cars, and i love the peace of mind of a new/newish one

maybe once this one is paid off it will be different though

You ain't ever gettin' rid of this one and we both know it!!!

http://x10.putfile.com/10/28902302043.jpg

[NormanPride]

Yaris, actual size:






















.

[Viking Kitten]

Incidentally, AC or lack thereof is not a huge issue for me... as I am running a space heater right now and probably will be til we break 100.

[yermom]

You ain't ever gettin' rid of this one and we both know it!!!

http://x10.putfile.com/10/28902302043.jpg

that doesn't mean i wouldn't buy another car ;)

i wouldn't trade that one in on a newer one though, the new one succs

of course i already have a backup if that one breaks down, not that i have it right now though :dolemite:

[dolemitesooner]

that doesn't mean i wouldn't buy another car ;)

i wouldn't trade that one in on a newer one though, the new one succs

of course i already have a backup if that one breaks down, not that i have it right now though :dolemite:
Hahahahaha:P

[slickdawg]

Slickwife comes home today, and I lose the ultra-cool new passat. :(

[jk the sooner fan]

Incidentally, AC or lack thereof is not a huge issue for me... as I am running a space heater right now and probably will be til we break 100.

so by viking kitten you mean viking lizard?

[Czar Soonerov]

I had a thread all ready to post the other day about the concrete barrier and it got vetoed.

:les:VETOWNED!!!1

So here goes..

We were heading to Dallas for a weekend retreat. I pulled over just before Marrietta and asked VK to drive(oops) so I could sleep. We get back on the road and just as I hit REM sleep I am awakend to "OH F***!!!". I immediately sit up (I was laying back in the seat). I see the rear end of a semi truck about 2 inches in front of us. Vk slams on the brakes & turns the wheel (just like they teach how to make the car spin in drivers ed.) We start to spin I scream "did we hit anything?" VK screams "NO!!!". We hit the concrete barrier. The bumper cover & grill fell of, but it still ran OK. We stopped at the next exit and looked at the damage & decided to keep going.

VK wanted me to make sure to tell you that the semi truck didn't have any tail lights and it was raing so hard she probably wouldn't have seen it anyway. Oh, if we'd had kept going we probably would have driven through a tornado that crossed the highway in Gainsville.

[Viking Kitten]

so by viking kitten you mean viking lizard?

That's about right. I'd love a nice, sunny rock right about now.

[Viking Kitten]

I had a thread all ready to post the other day about the concrete barrier and it got vetoed.

:les:VETOWNED!!!1

So here goes..

We were heading to Dallas for a weekend retreat. I pulled over just before Marrietta and asked VK to drive(oops) so I could sleep. We get back on the road and just as I hit REM sleep I am awakend to "

It got vetowned because you didn't say anything about the doofus with no lights that I was trying to avoid plowing into.

[Czar Soonerov]

Did too

[Viking Kitten]

Did not.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

I've heard that near-death experiences make people bond in ways they wouldn't have otherwise.

:kelvin:

[Mjcpr]

I've heard that near-death experiences make people bond in ways they wouldn't have otherwise.

:kelvin:

Yeah, around here we just squirt 'em with a hose; they'll unbond and how.

[Czar Soonerov]

They were suppose to have the car ready on Wed. but they noticed the frame was bent when they were putting the tranny back on, so it'll be another week. VK also failed to mention that I'm the one who's been driving the piece o' **** car since the accident, today is her first day in it.

[Mjcpr]

Bent frame on your new car? Good luck with that.

[Czar Soonerov]

20 millimeters, is that bad?

I asked a couple people at work & they said it was nothing to worry about.

[Viking Kitten]

They were suppose to have the car ready on Wed. but they noticed the frame was bent when they were putting the tranny back on, so it'll be another week. VK also failed to mention that I'm the one who's been driving the piece o' **** car since the accident, today is her first day in it.

Ten minutes in that thing feels like an eternity.

[Mjcpr]

20 millimeters, is that bad?

Well, it isn't great. But VK seems to love you and you make a nice living so it could be worse.

[Czar Soonerov]

Well, it isn't great. But VK seems to love you and you make a nice living so it could be worse.

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/reputation/reputation_neg.gif

Well, you'd be the one to ask...

[Viking Kitten]

Well, it isn't great. But VK seems to love you and you make a nice living so it could be worse.

I can't believe you passed on


Ten minutes in that thing feels like an eternity.

You're slipping.

[Mjcpr]

I can't believe you passed on

You're slipping.

I thought about it, but I can't hog all the dirty jokes. :D

[bri]

Ten minutes in that thing feels like an eternity.

Signed,
Czar

[Viking Kitten]

Now Bri, you need to say "thank you" to Mjcpr for his generosity.

[bri]

No, Pat needs to thank me for being so busy today and ALLOWING that curveball to hang over the plate for that long...

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Now Bri, you need to say "thank you" to Mjcpr for his generosity.


Yeah.

Pat gets it's feeling hurt easily.

[Viking Kitten]

No, Pat needs to thank me for being so busy today and ALLOWING that curveball to hang over the plate for that long...

Suddenly he "works."

[bri]

Yes I do.

You lot of goldbrickers and layabouts might want to look into it. Before you get replaced by Mexicans. Or robots.

OR MEXICAN ROBOTS.

[Pricetag]

Muchas gracias Señor Roboto.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

http://www.voodubh.com/psychic_blah/vic-robot.gif

[walkoffsooner]

If a girl drove it most of the time I know an old man who will buy the drivers seat.

[Viking Kitten]

http://f5.putfile.com/5/13812085712.jpg

[Zbird]

An old song... but very timely in the Soonerov household.

Here we go...

Piece of **** car
I got a piece of **** car
That ****in' pile of ****
Never gets me very far


Didn't Phoebe sing that on one of the "Friends" episodes?

[stoops the eternal pimp]

smelly cat...is a great song

[Czar Soonerov]

Some of you may remember when VK hit the horse? Well our daughter who was two at the time (now three) would go around telling everyone "Mommy hit horse".
http://img143.exs.cx/img143/4900/mhh3uj.th.jpg (http://img143.exs.cx/img143/4900/mhh3uj.jpg)
Well tonight after dinner Sophie was riding on the drivers side in the back & I was driving. Sophie said "Mommy, Colin & I should switch seats, so the girls are on one side & boys on the other." I said "Then what happens when mommy drives?" She says "Umm, when mommy drives... mommy bumps into the concrete block."

We've got a little commedian on our hands...

[pb4ou]

heh