Not sure what to do

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Since we brought our second child home, my wife has been crying off and on nonstop..We have a daughter who is going to be 2 next week. The wife is crying because she cant pay enough attention to the older kiddy and is feeling guilty..I m home for 2 weeks to help out but she is already dreading me going back to work..

I understand the hormones are all out of wack, but its more nonstop than it was after we brought the older kiddy home....not sure what i can do

[Tailwind]

It's just the "baby blues". She get over them soon.....be supportive and keep a nip bottle on hand for when it drives you over the edge.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I thought in partaking in the darvocet they sent her home with...if i had hair i would pull it out

[Tailwind]

I'm sure you would! Can be a very trying time for both of you. She can't control it, and you'd like to yell at her to cut it out. Get a bottle. Seriously.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Ooo...Found the Percoset they sent home with me after my knee surgery....Hello space mountain....

Sometimes I wish it was easier to understand

[OUinFLA]

Grasshopper:
Man is incapable of understanding women.
More difficult than melting the polar ice caps.
Oh, wait............perhaps there is hope.

answer = Valium (for you, not her), a case of Kleenix and patience.

[TheHumanAlphabet]

This sounds like Post-partum depression. I would seek help from a mental health physician. It may be nothing, but then 2 women in Texas killed their children becuase of it...

[walkoffsooner]

Give the elder kid some responsibility with the baby. Helping with bottles or diapers or something it will give them things to do together.

[85Sooner]

Just be patient and help where you can. DON"T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. be supportive. We have a new one also (this one cries like a longhorn in october) all day and only one who can console him is his mom. I am at home helping with the three year old. Remember one day at a time.
Signed
Know what your goin thru my friend.

[Viking Kitten]

Just be patient and help where you can. DON"T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. be supportive. We have a new one also (this one cries like a longhorn in october) all day and only one who can console him is his mom. I am at home helping with the three year old. Remember one day at a time.
Signed
Know what your goin thru my friend.

Yup.

Repeatedly tell her you love her, that she's beatiful, and how she's such an awesome mommy. Don't let her see you get frustrated. That just makes it worse. This will pass, I promise.

[Mjcpr]

Can't you just tell her to STFU?

:confused:

[Viking Kitten]

Can't you just tell her to STFU?

:confused:

No Pat. That's just what we tell you when you cry.

[Mjcpr]

No Pat. That's just what we tell you when you cry.

See. Thus far, it has worked great!

[Hamhock]

This sounds like Post-partum depression. I would seek help from a mental health physician. It may be nothing, but then 2 women in Texas killed their children becuase of it...


She seriously needs to get some medical help. Postpartum depression can be some serious stuff and adds to the stress of a newborn. Do you guys have a family or church that can help out?

Hang in there...

[OklahomaTuba]

Obviously she hasn't been spending enough time in the Kitchen. ;)

Hope it all turns out ok. If keeps up, get her into see someone.

[Norm In Norman]

A) Sorry about that, dude.
B) Thank god it's not me.

[stoops the eternal pimp]

Today has been a lot better.......She went to bed last nite about 1130 and I went outside and screamed like a 10 year old girl for about 10 minutes and it worked well......

Anyway things so far today seem fair...I made her an appointment to go see a doctor(shrink person) just to help her out a bit...

85sooner, I am the associate pastor of our church..A lot of the women from the church have offered advice and help to her but she thinks she comes across as a bad mother when she truly tells them how she feels right now..I,on the otherhand, am a 29 years old male and dont have a clue in this situation....

I ve talked kids out of dropping out, suicide, and other things, but this one has been rather difficult

[handcrafted]

Part of that dealio is the mommy thinking she stinks at the job. My wife felt like that for a coupla days until she was able to feed the boy (it takes about 5 days afterward for the boobage to start working). Once that aspect of things got going, problem solved. She snapped right out of it.

Long-term PPD needs treatment/medication, so it's good you're getting her to a professional. Just regular counseling often won't do it, it's a chemical imbalance.

[Taxman71]

There is no such thing as post-partem depression, just invisible alien souls wreching havoc on your mind. And do NOT give her any prescription meds.

Sincerely,

http://images.evalu8.org/images/050701_cruise_lauer_380.JPG

[slickdawg]

Today has been a lot better.......She went to bed last nite about 1130 and I went outside and screamed like a 10 year old girl for about 10 minutes and it worked well......

Anyway things so far today seem fair...I made her an appointment to go see a doctor(shrink person) just to help her out a bit...

85sooner, I am the associate pastor of our church..A lot of the women from the church have offered advice and help to her but she thinks she comes across as a bad mother when she truly tells them how she feels right now..I,on the otherhand, am a 29 years old male and dont have a clue in this situation....

I ve talked kids out of dropping out, suicide, and other things, but this one has been rather difficult


It is much harder to advise yourself out of a bad situation than it is to advise others out of a bad situation. Stick with the "outside" advice from a
professional.

[Hamhock]

Part of that dealio is the mommy thinking she stinks at the job. My wife felt like that for a coupla days until she was able to feed the boy (it takes about 5 days afterward for the boobage to start working). Once that aspect of things got going, problem solved. She snapped right out of it.

Ah..boobie milk...those were the days...:twinkies:


Long-term PPD needs treatment/medication, so it's good you're getting her to a professional. Just regular counseling often won't do it, it's a chemical imbalance.

It's most likely not just a self-esteem thing. But chemical, very chemical....like just dropped acid chemical.

[crawfish]

I've been there and I understand completely. Make sure you're extra-sensitive to her feelings during this time - she'll be ok, but it will take some time. The way she's feeling is not unusual.

Congrats on the new kid! As soon as the 2yrold gets over the inevitable jealousy, they'll be best of friends. :)

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Well at least you got laid more than SAS ;)

[Zbird]

Since we brought our second child home, my wife has been crying off and on nonstop..We have a daughter who is going to be 2 next week. The wife is crying because she cant pay enough attention to the older kiddy and is feeling guilty..I m home for 2 weeks to help out but she is already dreading me going back to work..

I understand the hormones are all out of wack, but its more nonstop than it was after we brought the older kiddy home....not sure what i can do

Google "Post-partum depression"

[stoops the eternal pimp]

I m googling

[PhxSooner]

I had the endless crying jags that started about two weeks after my son was born. I didn't think I had any sort of depression, because I didn't want to hurt my son (a la Andrea Yates). My husband made me go to the doctor and I was put on anti-depressants for post-partum, but only for about a month. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your hormones straightened out after having a baby. Definitely send her in to a doctor.

[Skysooner]

I had the endless crying jags that started about two weeks after my son was born. I didn't think I had any sort of depression, because I didn't want to hurt my son (a la Andrea Yates). My husband made me go to the doctor and I was put on anti-depressants for post-partum, but only for about a month. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your hormones straightened out after having a baby. Definitely send her in to a doctor.

This is totally accurate. Hormone swings explain most of this. Post-partum depression is more of a diagnosis of a long-term thing after the baby is born. Most women feel like bad mommies on their second child where their first child is concerned. Even with my two (6 and 9) this still goes on. She feels guilt for every little thing that she can do for one and not for the other. Today is the 6 year olds birthday (welcome to 7), and she was feeling extreme stress that we hadn't received more RSVPs to his birthday party.

[sooner_born_1960]

Give the elder kid some responsibility with the baby. Helping with bottles or diapers or something it will give them things to do together.
Best post in this thread. Mom can make the new baby fun for both of them. My daughters are two years apart, and the older one really liked helping out with baby sister.