today's extremly random thread

[bellefay1]

ok...hear me out.

outside my front door...i have a small bush/tree thing (about 10 feet high).

a bird has taken to making a nest in the tree which i thought was fine and dandy.

now...the bird thinks of me as a threat when i walk outside to use the phone or check my mail.

the hate of me w/ this bird peaked this morning when it made two attacks at my noggin. i didn't notice it really the first time it hit...but the second time, i realized a bird was going for me.

point being...any suggestions on what to do w/ this situation? i just looked out my door a few minutes ago, and the thing was just sitting there...looking at me. i need to check my mail this afternoon, but i don't want have my eyes poked out.

[Rogue]

You might as well just move. You've been punked by a sparrow. Once his friends and neighbors find out, they'll all be moving in. Probably illegally. From Mexico.

[White House Boy]

http://www.meredy.com/vinbw/birds.jpg

[Mjcpr]

now...the bird thinks of me as a threat when i walk outside to use the phone or check my mail.

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

...The chores.
...The stores.
...Fresh air.
...Times Square

You are my wife.
Good bye, city life.
Green Acres we are there.

[Howzit]

Is it using it's large talons with which to rend your flesh?

[Osce0la]

two words



7.

iron.

YWIA

[bellefay1]

i'll try to take a picture of the foul thing this afternoon and submit it to the fark site.

if i'm still alive....

[Osce0la]

i'll try to take a picture of the foul thing this afternoon and submit it to the fark site.

if i'm still alive....
That bird is gonna kick your a** :D

[Howzit]

It's probably a hummingbird.

[pb4ou]

Now pinch hitting for Barry Bonds.....bellefay1

:D

Batter Up

[Partial Qualifier]

Here's what you do:

[Pricetag]

point being...any suggestions on what to do w/ this situation?
Wait a few weeks for the babies to get old enough to leave the nest, and the birds will be gone.

A few years back, I had a bird build a nest on the light fixture on my back porch. The light was on the wall about head level right beside the door. Every time I'd go out there, the bird would buzz me, land on the fence, and start talking trash and clicking its beak at me. We could hear the babies chirping shortly thereafter, and after a couple of weeks, no more birds used the nest.

[NormanPride]

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

...The chores.
...The stores.
...Fresh air.
...Times Square

You are my wife.
Good bye, city life.
Green Acres we are there.

Could you ever get away with this now? I think not.

No, you could do it the other way around and get away with it.

[Mjcpr]

The point of that was........why do you have to go outside to use the phone?

:confused:

[Tailwind]

Bird pro'ly wanted to pull your hair out for its nest. Wear a cap and sunglasses......can't get to your hair or eyes that way.

[Hamhock]

You should move. Sell your house and call PETA. The bird has as much right to that property as you do.

or

Get one of those beekeeping suits so you'll be protected.

or

shew away the bird and then knock down the nest.

or

put some antifreeze in the nest.

or

douse the whole thing with gasoline and light it

[SoonerBorn68]

two words



7.

iron.

YWIA

Two more words.

tennis

racket

Got rid of a dive bombing mocking bird like that once.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

I had Mexican food for lunch and I'm still full.

*Yawn*...

[NormanPride]

Get one of those speakers that does nothing but blare bird distress calls like at the Tulsa Airport.

[JohnnyMack]

Call 1tc and see if he can throw the birds out of a moving car for you.

[walkoffsooner]

Get a rubber snake

[Beef]

The point of that was........why do you have to go outside to use the phone?

:confused:
Your phone isn't on the telephone pole?
BRUCE!!!!!!!!!

[TUSooner]

It's probably a hummingbird.

Sounds more like the legendary Tequila Mockingbird.
Or perhaps the equally legendary Atticus Finch.

[Howzit]

Actually I've heard that birds can be scared of a plastic owl. bellefay, try sticking a big ol' frickin' plastic owl on your head when you need to go outside to make a phone call.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Actually I've heard that birds can be scared of a plastic owl. bellefay, try sticking a big ol' frickin' plastic owl on your head when you need to go outside to make a phone call.

Yeah.

Please?

:mack:

[Howzit]

Disclaimer: Illustration not to scale.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/4967/owlonhead5qh.jpg

[White House Boy]

Howzit's got mad skillz.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

http://www.villagehatshop.com/media/harry-potter-hedwig.jpg

[Beef]

http://img380.imageshack.us/img380/8643/hawk0sz.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Hamhock]

Disclaimer: Illustration not to scale.


http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/4967/owlonhead5qh.jpg


Why is he holding a carrot?

[1stTimeCaller]

he's got big feet. you gals know what that means.

<Pat> drooling <Pat>

[Howzit]

Why is he holding a carrot?

THAT'S A CELLPHONE!

:mad:

[Hamhock]

THAT'S A CELLPHONE!

:mad:


Oh, um, yea, I, uhm see it now...yea

[Howzit]

See...this is why I put the disclaimer. I SAID not to scale.

[JohnnyMack]

It looks like he's trying to stab himself in the throat with a big frickin' needle.

[Beef]

It looks like he's trying to stab himself in the throat with a big frickin' needle.
I would probably do that too if I was one of Howzit's drawings.

[Howzit]

Don't listen to them bellefay. Your phone looks fine.

[1stTimeCaller]

haters, the whole lot of em. They're just jealous, Howzit.

[Osce0la]

greatness

[proud gonzo]

it's guarding its nest. quit bothering it, beyonce.

[1stTimeCaller]

Did you see the size of that chicken?

[bellefay1]

fantastic thread folks. i leave for a few hours and i'm mocked like this?
<sarcasm>

the plastic owl thing doesn't seem to work...and i live in metro atlatna...so i think walking outside w/ a 9mm and shooting up my house isn't gonig to fly (no pun intended)

best thing i've heard was to get a dog whistle and let em have it.

sidenote:

i enjoy the "fark" if you can call it that. i'm honestly tempted to get a friend to take photos of me trying to check my mail...just for the humor that will take place w/ me running away from a bird.

i promise to take some pictures of this foul thing for the fark board. the bird likes to perch about 5 feet from door and just stare at me, so this won't be a problem.

[pb4ou]

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/1579/1tcowlonhead5qh9zq3yl.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Melo]

Just dont play golf with it. Please. I'd have to go make a whole new thread about folks who play golf with birds, and then call PETA on you. :rolleyes:

[White House Boy]

The point of that was........why do you have to go outside to use the phone?

:confused:

This may explain it:

http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/Photos/drunk020%202.jpg

[bellefay1]

if anyone was curious...none of their suggestions worked.

snake, owl, dog whistle...nada

the mean bird threw one of it's youngin's out of the nest and a cat came and ate it.

the bird left a few days after the other youngin was gone (not sure if it flew away or was killed)

i can check my mail again and walk outside to talk on the phone.

[OUinFLA]

future answer:
get a cat.
cats eat birds.



or get a golf club.

[Howzit]

My suspicion is that said owl was neither big nor frickin' enough.

[bellefay1]

future answer:
get a cat.
cats eat birds.



or get a golf club.

get a cat...

i don't wear nightgowns or watch golden girls...

[OUinFLA]

you just dont know how to have fun.

but, hey, Im not the one who was terrorized by a bird
:D

[bellefay1]

you just dont know how to have fun.

but, hey, Im not the one who was terrorized by a bird
:D


the farks speak for themselves...

that was mean friggin bird.