okay, my wife is flipping the heck out!

[oumartin]

Why is it not okay to have a friend of the opposite sex? My wife is livid I would talk to a woman I haven't seen in 22 years. We are just catching up on the past and how things are now and my wife is freakin' out.
Anyhow, Its normal to have friends of the opposite sex but it seems to be outta the question in my marriage.
I've not cheated or anything!

[colleyvillesooner]

http://www.phog.tv/images/emoticons/popcorn.gif

Waiting for Dean's response...

[NormanPride]

phone sex?

[yermom]

she's hawt isn't she?

[Cack]

i understand completely ... i've been best friends with this girl for 5 years now ... and we've never done anything together ... but EVERYBODY says we hook up and all this other mess ... we've given massages and slept together but had never even kissed (until fri night) ... a little alcohol ... neither gotten in a while ... so yeah ... hhmmm i guess you can't be friends and be the opposite sex

[oumartin]

shes a pretty woman yes, but my wife has no clue what she looks like.
my wife likes to lay down the law about where i can go, when i can go and the such and this is another one of those things. But she is freakin' flippin!

[Howzit]

Have your "friend" register and you two can cyber here on the SO.

Don't mind us.

[Hamhock]

Do you iron the pants each morning before she puts them on?

[Flagstaffsooner]

Slap her.

[JohnnyMack]

Can you have sex on it?

[Jimminy Crimson]

:les: BRING ME A BEER, WOMAN!

[colleyvillesooner]

i understand completely ... i've been best friends with this girl for 5 years now ... and we've never done anything together ... but EVERYBODY says we hook up and all this other mess ... we've given massages and slept together but had never even kissed (until fri night) ... a little alcohol ... neither gotten in a while ... so yeah ... hhmmm i guess you can't be friends and be the opposite sex

Sorry oumartin, but I think the thread will get jacked to talk about this dudes situtaion.

[yermom]

Do you iron the pants each morning before she puts them on?

ouch.

[JohnnyMack]

Hey Colley,

:les: GOLF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oumartin]

nah, i wish she would chill out though

[slickdawg]

Cause she either suspects that you hit it before, and/or want to hit it now.

[TopDaugIn2000]

I've had a best guy friend since 5th grade. there's never been anything between us. Of course no one believed us. Not our problem.

Now that he's out of the closet and headed to Seminary this fall has helped get the point across though.

[JohnnyMack]

Now that he's out of the closet and headed to Seminary

I can't exactly imagine that's going to end well.

[Mjcpr]

I think she meant Semenary.

[Hamhock]

I think she meant Semenary.


You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Mjcpr again.

[colleyvillesooner]

Hey Colley,

:les: GOLF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, now that you're free too, you want to tee it up? ;)

[TopDaugIn2000]

I can't exactly imagine that's going to end well.

yeah, me either. But it's his newest kick and he's been accepted, so we'll see how it goes.

[1stTimeCaller]

is his name JohnnyMack?

[TopDaugIn2000]

not that I know of.

[JohnnyMack]

is his name JohnnyMack?

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/images/reputation/reputation_neg.gif

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

Were you up front about it ahead of time, or did she find out that you were talking after it already happened a few times?

[TexasLidig8r]

Well.. perhaps that explains why your avis recently have been disappointingly non-descript.

Don't try to figure them out... it will only lead to disaster.

Or.. better yet... why not say.. "let's all meet for a drink after work."... You meet.. if hawtness and chemistry prevail... you do your Jack Tripper imitation.

No thanks needed...

[Taxman71]

If you are going to do the time, at least do the crime. Let your wife know this as well.

[OUinFLA]

. if hawtness and chemistry prevail... you do your Jack Tripper imitation.




that would be the "you're now dead" scenario?
courtesy of mrs. oumartin?

[proud gonzo]

I think you should be talking to your wife about this instead of your internet friends.

[Hamhock]

I think you should be talking to your wife about this instead of your internet friends.


worst advice EVAR!!

[JohnnyMack]

I think you should be talking to your wife about this instead of your internet friends.

Pfft.

Our wisdom knows no boundaries.

[yermom]

I think you should be talking to your wife about this instead of your internet friends.

this obviously hasn't worked so far

[1stTimeCaller]

if you can't confide in your innerweb friends who can you confide in?

[oumartin]

um, this is my internet family thank you very much!
we've talked, been up front and all that jazz. she just likes to rule the roost.
I don't know. hopefully it will pass.

[Osce0la]

worst advice EVAR!!
I agree

[NormanPride]

um, this is my internet family thank you very much!
we've talked, been up front and all that jazz. she just likes to rule the roost.
I don't know. hopefully it will pass.

Heh. This, IMO, is why she does rule the roost. I bet she told you to hate Kelvin and you did. :D

[MamaMia]

I dont get it. OUSAEdad and I have several friends of a different sex that we speak to all the time. I even flirt in an innocent way a little here and there. He thinks its cute. It doesnt faze him at all, nor do I mind that he has gal pals or when ladies about town flirt with him. We trust one another 100%.

[oumartin]

she told me to hate Kelvin or i wouldn't get my 10.00 a week allowance.

[Vaevictis]

The floggings will continue until morale improves!

[JohnnyMack]

if you can't confide in your innerweb friends who can you confide in?

I agree.

And thanks again for helping me dispose that dead hooker last weekend. I was really in a tight spot.

[Hamhock]

I agree.

And thanks again for helping me dispose that dead hooker last weekend. I was really in a tight spot.


Does he run dead hooker storage?

[JohnnyMack]

Does he run dead hooker storage?

Let me ask you a question. When you pulled up, did you see a sign that said........

[NormanPride]

Does he run dead hooker storage?

'Cause I think Czar is lookin'.

[1stTimeCaller]

I agree.

And thanks again for helping me dispose that dead hooker last weekend. I was really in a tight spot.

after the way I saw you try to rescuitate her I knew that she was a goner and that I need to wear a DNR tag when we hang out from now on.

[Stanley1]

she told me to hate Kelvin or i wouldn't get my 10.00 a week allowance.

:mad:

[SicEmBaylor]

We had a gay guy who was a Baylor seminary student that came out privately to his friends. Friends turned him into the university for being gay, and we kicked his *** out of school. So he gets ahold of the Baylor mailing list and sends everyone gay porn so Baylor sues him.


TD2000, this isn't the same guy right? ;-)

[LilSooner]

Your screwed. Either A) she is just a crazy female or B) Either your or someone in her past has royally screwed her over and she is just hypersensitive to this type of situation.

Where you upfront with her or did she find out about it on her own. That could be a reason why she won't "chill out".

[MamaMia]

she told me to hate Kelvin or i wouldn't get my 10.00 a week allowance.
Kelvin who, and have you ever given her reason to not trust you in the past?

[SicEmBaylor]

And in response to Martin's problems...

One of my bestfriends is a girl that I dated for years and nearly married. She's now married to someone else, but if any future girlfriend of mine has a problem with me bgeing friends with a girl I used to date then she can hit the highway.

[frankensooner]

eh, take her shoe shopping and you both win!

[Mjcpr]

And in response to Martin's problems...

One of my bestfriends is a girl that I dated for years and nearly married. She's now married to someone else, but if any future girlfriend of mine has a problem with me bgeing friends with a girl I used to date then she can hit the highway.

I'm sure you'll find one but I have a feeling most women would have a problem with you having a close friendship with a woman you previously dated for years and nearly married.

Or not, I don't know.

[Hatfield]

maybe she realizes somewhere in the middle of her insecurity and own mental issues that we as men don't have to be attracted to womens to sleep with them

[TopDaugIn2000]

We had a gay guy who was a Baylor seminary student that came out privately to his friends. Friends turned him into the university for being gay, and we kicked his *** out of school. So he gets ahold of the Baylor mailing list and sends everyone gay porn so Baylor sues him.


TD2000, this isn't the same guy right? ;-)

no, he never went to Baylor.

[Stanley1]

And in response to Martin's problems...

One of my bestfriends is a girl that I dated for years and nearly married. She's now married to someone else, but if any future girlfriend of mine has a problem with me bgeing friends with a girl I used to date then she can hit the highway.

I sorta have the same situation. My #2 best friend is a girl that I've been friends with for 13-14 years. She is married now, but we still hang out together sometimes, without her husband around. No chance of anything happening, she is just a friend.

Luckily for me, Chick isn't all insecure and stuff. Right babe? :D

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

I don't see a problem with it if you have been up front with your wife. If you've been all sneaky and trying to hide it or if you have cheated on her in the past, I could see where it would be a problem.

My mom has been best friends with a guy for about 45 years. For that reason, it has always been totally normal for guys and girls to be friends.

The important thing is to be upfront about it.

[colleyvillesooner]

I sorta have the same situation. My #2 best friend is a girl that I've been friends with for 13-14 years. She is married now, but we still hang out together sometimes, without her husband around. No chance of anything happening, she is just a friend.

Luckily for me, Chick isn't all insecure and stuff. Right babe? :D

You rank your best friends by number? ;)

[Mjcpr]

You rank your best friends by number? ;)

Well, that's pretty much the whole list. :D

[Stanley1]

You rank your best friends by number? ;)

lol.....fine, I'm ghey. :D

[Stanley1]

Well, that's pretty much the whole list. :D

Nuh uh. :O

[proud gonzo]

we're all saying there isn't a problem if everything is innocent and you're both upfront and honest with each other, but since it IS a problem for your wife obviously there's something else going on making this not okay in her mind. this situation might just "go away" but the underlying problem won't unless you talk to your wife and figure out what it is.

[TexasLidig8r]

lol.....fine, I'm ghey. :D

You'll be in bow ties and Italian suits before you know it.

[Stanley1]

You'll be in bow ties and Italian suits before you know it.

Oak Lawn, here I come. :eek:

[GottaHavePride]

Italian suits = hooray. Bow ties = ghey.

Although a custom-tailored suit pwns off-the-rack any day.

[NormanPride]

yankee candles?

[TexasLidig8r]

yankee candles?

AND high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.

[BlondeSoonerGirl]

Italian suits = hooray. Bow ties = ghey.

Although a custom-tailored suit pwns off-the-rack any day.

This is a good idea for a SO chant...

[KC//CRIMSON]

I think you should have your wife cook and invite her over for dinner. It'll help break the ice.

[Stanley1]

I think you should have your wife cook and invite her over for dinner. It'll help break the ice.

And have wine. Lots, and lots of wine.

[KC//CRIMSON]

Candlelight too, maybe some Enya playing in the background......

[Howzit]

And have wine. Lots, and lots of wine.

And Rohypnol.

[FroggyStyle22]

You'll be in bow ties and Italian suits before you know it.

Says the guy with the bowtie in his avatar.

[SicEmBaylor]

AND high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.
I recently made the switch to Egyptian cotton sheets and have decided it's well worth the extra cost.

I also bought a suede leather comforter set that's just awesome.

[TexasLidig8r]

I think you should have your wife cook and invite her over for dinner. It'll help break the ice.

This really does have.. "Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me..." written all over it.

I KNEW I could count on you people.

Pssst... Martin.. you're getting some solid gold advice here!

[NormanPride]

I recently made the switch to Egyptian cotton sheets and have decided it's well worth the extra cost.

I also bought a suede leather comforter set that's just awesome.

No kidding. I thought my sheets were fine until I slept on something else. Now I just need to get rid of this crappy waterbed. I thought it would be great, but I tire of not having enough support...

[SicEmBaylor]

No kidding. I thought my sheets were fine until I slept on something else. Now I just need to get rid of this crappy waterbed. I thought it would be great, but I tire of not having enough support...

Yeah, I need a lot of firm support as well.

[NormanPride]

*cough* Wasn't... uhh... gonna put it that way. That sounds bad. :O

[KC//CRIMSON]

Are you two numbnutz finished? We're trying to get Martin hooked up in a threesome. Good grief.

[NormanPride]

Well, honestly, it looks like SicEm would be up for that... Assuming that martin provides the proper amount of *cough* um.. support. :eek:

[Scott D]

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Case....CLOSED. :D

[yermom]

i'll have what she's having

[oumartin]

I have not been unfaithful to my wife. I was upfront. My wife doesn't like to talk about things. trust me.
She just doesn't like me leaving the house, drinking a beverage, and the such. thats just how she has been as long as i've known her.
Kelvin Sampson Mom. thats the Kelvin, kinda a little joke.

thanks for the input. Some of you anyhow

[Scott D]

oh if you wanted a serious response it's because your wife like many women has low self esteem, so if you're hanging out with another female it's because either you are doing her or you want to do her, at least in the wife's mind...which plays further head games with her low self esteem.

[SicEmBaylor]

oh if you wanted a serious response it's because your wife like many women has low self esteem, so if you're hanging out with another female it's because either you are doing her or you want to do her, at least in the wife's mind...which plays further head games with her low self esteem.

I think more to the point on the self-esteem issue is your wife wondering what you're doing (not even necessarily sexual) with this woman that you could be doing with her. In other words, what does this woman offer you in terms of a friendship or otherwise that you don't get at home from your wife? (that's rhetorical)

[oumartin]

in response sicem. how about someone that doesn't ignore me, tell me what to do, actually talks back and has conversation and someone that doesn't say. I didn't hear you say that, because she was busy watching t.v. and doesn't really care what you say.
My wife loves to ignore people and that doesn't fly well.

[Scott D]

I think more to the point on the self-esteem issue is your wife wondering what you're doing (not even necessarily sexual) with this woman that you could be doing with her. In other words, what does this woman offer you in terms of a friendship or otherwise that you don't get at home from your wife? (that's rhetorical)

grasshoppa, you have much to learn about marriage :)

[jk the sooner fan]

i'm a total stranger to you martin, but i know that you have a libido suitable for about 10 men, so i'm sure your wife knows its probably even worse........and talking to "an old friend" without her knowing up front?
yeah, i can see how she'd flip out

[Sooner_Bob]

she's hawt isn't she?


I asked that already . . . :D

[oumartin]

actually, my libido isn't much. I go months w/o it.
and she did know upfront!!!

[Kimberlyz4OU]

It will be okay martin.......just be completely COMPLETELY honest with her. My husband has done the same thing before, until i reassured him that he is the only one for me, for forever. I like to talk to lots of people, and there is something about my genetic make up that makes it alot easier to talk to guys than gals, I don't know what that is, but it's part of me. I'm a little bit of a flirt, I like to smile, I like to laugh, and if that is being flirtatious, so be it. I was that way when we met and he knew that. How long have you guys been married? I can't help but agree that it is a self-esteem issue.

[OUTromBoNado]

Heh. This, IMO, is why she does rule the roost. I bet she told you to hate Kelvin and you did. :D

YMSRRA.


And have wine. Lots, and lots of wine.

Cheap wine = good time.:eddie:

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

oh if you wanted a serious response it's because your wife like many women has low self esteem, so if you're hanging out with another female it's because either you are doing her or you want to do her, at least in the wife's mind...which plays further head games with her low self esteem.

Yeah, I'm thinking this is a symptom of something else.

Martin, your number one priority is to love your wife. If this relationship, whatever it is, is causing any compromise whatsoever to your first priority, then you need to make adjustments to it or break it off.

Maybe you need to stop talking to this chick unless you are in the company of your wife. It's my opinion that a husband needs to be particularly careful about having a frienship with a woman if that woman doesn't also have a friendship with his wife. This includes friendships at work or online.

Keep in mind that I probably do this to a fault. Most women, if they don't know my wife, probably think I'm a bit standoffish. I'm ok with that, though.

Practically, though, I really don't know what to tell you about this particular case, you haven't really shared a bunch of real information other than you think your wife is too controlling.

[Jimminy Crimson]

Have you run the idea of a threesome by the wife? Maybe she wouldn't be as jealous. ;)

I kid, I kid...

[Stanley1]

It's my opinion that a husband needs to be particularly careful about having a frienship with a woman if that woman doesn't also have a friendship with his wife. This includes friendships at work or online.

So.....since you and I are online buddies, that mean I should be buddies with your wife? :confused: :D

[Stanley1]

I kid, I kid...

No you don't. :D

[Sooner_Bob]

martin

Turn your focus on your wife and make her want to stop watching TV and to pay attention to you.

If she's as touchy about this as you say and if she comes first, focussing on her should help improve things.

[Stanley1]

martin

Turn your focus on your wife and make her want to stop watching TV and to pay attention to you.


I say just whip it out. What have you got to lose?

[jacru]

In marriage:
friends of her only must be girls only.
friends of him only must be guys only.
Friends of both of you can be anything (other couples are best).
If a previous friend(s) violates the rules make him/her a friend of both of you or drop them. The marriage is the primary and priority relationship.

[Stanley1]

In marriage:
friends of her only must be girls only.
friends of him only must be guys only.
Friends of both of you can be anything (other couples are best).
If a previous friend(s) violates the rules make him/her a friend of both of you or drop them. The marriage is the primary and priority relationship.

I disagree. Now I'm not saying that AFTER you begin a relationship, you should go around making new friends of the opposite sex, but if you've been friends with somebody for YEARS before meeting your mate, they need to accept that.....provided you give them no reason to suspect it is anything but a friendship.

[oumartin]

good points beano and SoonerBob.

this is deeper than this thread but thank you so much.

[Kimberlyz4OU]

Stanley, you said it perfectly.

I do agree that the marriage has to be the #1 priority, but I have some very good guy friends that I will go to with all kinds of stuff before girlfriends.

[Dr. Phil]

It's time to get real!

[jacru]

I disagree. Now I'm not saying that AFTER you begin a relationship, you should go around making new friends of the opposite sex, but if you've been friends with somebody for YEARS before meeting your mate, they need to accept that.....provided you give them no reason to suspect it is anything but a friendship.
You don't have to agree. You also don't have to have a long lasting marriage.
We make choices and they have consequences. Here's to wise choices.:)

[Stanley1]

You don't have to agree. You also don't have to have a long lasting marriage.
We make choices and they have consequences. Here's to wise choices.:)

I'm not married, but I don't see it being an issue. Just b/c you and your wife have trust issues, doesn't mean my wife and I will.:D

[jacru]

It's just the opinion of a guy married almost 23 yrs. Take it or leave it. Peace.

[Kimberlyz4OU]

I'm not married, but I don't see it being an issue. Just b/c you and your wife have trust issues, doesn't mean my wife and I will.:D

Ding, ding ding.....we have a winner. I've been married 22 years. :P

[Jimminy Crimson]

You should go to your local discount store and buy some iron-on letters and make a tshirt that says 'SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT' and always wear it around your wife.















;)

[Dr. Phil]

Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.

[oumartin]

she won't give me the money to go buy the letters at the discount store :D

[Jimminy Crimson]

You need to start livin' for youuuuuuu.

:texan:

[SicEmBaylor]

in response sicem. how about someone that doesn't ignore me, tell me what to do, actually talks back and has conversation and someone that doesn't say. I didn't hear you say that, because she was busy watching t.v. and doesn't really care what you say.
My wife loves to ignore people and that doesn't fly well.

Well, I do hate to pry or make assumptions but it sounds like you may have problems beyond the issue with this lady friend of yours. In fact, the lady friend/wife problem sounds more like a symptom than the disease.

[SicEmBaylor]

grasshoppa, you have much to learn about marriage :)

:sigh:
Yeah, but do I really want to learn? I could just avoid it.
You all have scared the bejesus out of me.

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

So.....since you and I are online buddies, that mean I should be buddies with your wife? :confused: :D

I didn't realize you were quite that effeminate.

[Jimminy Crimson]

martin, remember: bros before hoes!

:texan:

i don't know what that has to do with your situation, though ;)

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

Ding, ding ding.....we have a winner. I've been married 22 years. :P

Congratulations. That's awesome.

However, the attitude that, "my spouse knew that going in, so they can GADOCADWI." is a pretty selfish one going into marriage. But that's in regard to pretty much everything, not just existing friendships.

The point of this isn't any set of hard and fast rules, and like everything else there will be anecdotal evidence that "my way works best." Avoiding female friendships, solely for the sake of avoiding them isn't going to save a doomed marriage any more than picking up your underwear off the floor or closing the toilet seat will. Ultimately, it comes down to your attitude. If it's more selfish than not, you're going to have a really hard time having a successful marriage.

But you knew that. You've been married 22 years.

[SicEmBaylor]

What's GADOCADWI?

[Jimminy Crimson]

:les: DON'T TELL HIM!!!

;)

[Beano's Fourth Chin]

http://www.google.com/search?q=GADOCADWI&num=100&hl=en&hs=HD9&lr=&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&pwst=1&filter=0

[Stanley1]

:les: DON'T TELL HIM!!!

;)

Heh.

[proud gonzo]

What's GADOCADWI?

the magic words :mad:

[SoonerBorn68]

martin, if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy. As much as this thread has been jacked I'll offer this: If she doesn't understand your platonic relationship you'll have to make a decision...it's that simple. If you continue down this road you'll end up with only half of the money you make & visitation with the kiddos on the weekends. If she doesn't understand, she never will and you'll never convince her otherwise.

[oumartin]

sb68, I appreciate your comments.
you are good peeps!

[Kimberlyz4OU]

Beano, I would never tell him to GADOCADWI........I said marriage should be the No.1 priority. PERIOD. As a matter of fact, he has told me several times, that is what attracted him to me back in the day and why he loves me so much, my outgoing, fun nature, and he wouldn't change that part of me for anything. Now other changes, well we won't go into those :)

[achiro]

Has anyone said what she doesn't know won't hurt her?

Take it from a young guy thats been married 17 years this month...
(thats not true)

[soonerhubs]

After reading page upon page, I've some advice you and every other married person who reads this post can either take or leave and I respect you either way. Gary Chapman has an awesome book called The Five Love Languages

* I think this book should be read by everyone in a relationship or looking to get into one. It basically tells you how to identify what Kind of "Love Language" your spouse speaks. (In other words, what she feels is most important to her.)

--> Communication takes time, and it's something you have to work at. I struggle with it all the time, as I would assume most married people do.

I'll look for the link for that book. It's a pretty short read, but priceless to review.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/start.html
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/bookpages/5love_orig.html

[JohnnyMack]

ww:dean:d?

[OUinFLA]

--> Communication takes time, and it's something you have to work at.


Not if you just dont talk to each other.
:D

[slickdawg]

ww:dean:d?

Yeah :dean:, TELL US!

[proud gonzo]

Has anyone said what she doesn't know won't hurt her?

Take it from a young guy thats been married 17 years this month...
(thats not true)


I think what you mean is "what she doesn't know will make her really freakin p*ssed when she finds out (and she will find out)." ;)

[sooner n houston]

Please, if you have a difficult spouse, or are one, or have a troubled marriage, READ this book. It is a very enlightening book based on Christian values.

http://i23.ebayimg.com/02/c/02/15/87/d5_7.JPG

Here is a link to a used copy for under $5.00.

http://product.half.ebay.com/Boundaries-in-Marriage_W0QQprZ810639QQtgZinfo

[soonerhubs]

Not if you just dont talk to each other.
:D
Good point. :)

[Scott D]

Please, if you have a difficult spouse, or are one, or have a troubled marriage, READ this book. It is a very enlightening book based on Christian values.

http://i23.ebayimg.com/02/c/02/15/87/d5_7.JPG

Here is a link to a used copy for under $5.00.

http://product.half.ebay.com/Boundaries-in-Marriage_W0QQprZ810639QQtgZinfo

let me know when there is one based on buddhist values.