A new start to life
By JOHN E. HOOVER World Sports Writer
5/8/2006
After career-ending incident, ex-OU baseball coach Larry Cochell now has time to spend with his family
One day, not long ago, Larry Cochell woke at 6 in the morning to start his new career in minor league baseball.
Only one problem: He didn't want to go.
"I looked around," Cochell recalls, "and said, 'What the heck am I doing? Going to work? No way.' I never started. I told them I needed to spend time with my family, and they understood."
That's Larry Cochell's life since the incident that wrecked his coaching career one year ago last week. He no longer worries about batting averages and fielding percentages and scholarship limits. His only concern now is family and spending as much time as he can with them during his golden years.
Cochell, of course, isn't retired by choice. He was sent there, exiled, when, in his 15th year as head coach at the University of Oklahoma and the 39th year of his career, he used a racial epithet while trying to describe one of his players to an ESPN announcer. It was an off-camera, off-the-record conversation, but it gained extensive national media coverage, and it forced Cochell to reorder his priorities.
"Coaching is an all-consuming thing. I mean, it's seven days a week,"
Cochell said. "So we're just now getting a chance to do things that we haven't had a chance to do, which is good. Just everyday, ordinary things. Nothing big. Nothing magnificent. Like today, we got up, worked out, came back and had breakfast about 10 o'clock."
The incident ended Cochell's career, but it didn't ruin his life. It changed it. It made it in many ways better.
"I've spent more time with him in the last year than any time in my life since the time that I played for him," said Cochell's younger son, Chad.
And older son Craig, who also played for his dad, cherishes the time his children, 6-year-old Meg, 5-year-old Caleb and 3-year-old Haley, now get to spend with their grandfather.
"I've seen him more in the last year than I have, I would say conservatively, the last 15 years," Craig said. "I don't know that it's a specific set of activities that we've never gotten to do. But now, when he comes over to the house, he actually sits in a chair. . . . There's no pressure to stretch every minute that you have.
"He comes over, we play baseball with Caleb together, we do yard work together, we have dinner as a family with Chad and (Chad's wife) Jenny and my five (including wife of 10 years Christie) and the two of them. It's not some rushed meal late at night out at a restaurant. It's a family-style dinner at home."
Blessing in disguise
Larry Cochell's resignation -- and the unseemly scandal that forced it -- didn't quite break his heart. But it nearly stopped it from beating.
When Cochell, 66, stepped down last May 1, he had already been feeling poorly. Tests revealed he had major blockage in two arteries, and that the stress from coaching -- or, by then, fighting to keep his job -- might have been fatal.
As dark as the incident was portrayed, it ultimately shined a bright light.
"God allowed that to happen probably for me to be able to spend the last few years with my family and my wife," Cochell said. "My contract went until I was 70. Think about that now. How ludicrous would that have been? But God took me out of that. As painful as it was, it probably saved my life."
Cochell has declined dozens of interview requests over the past year. Although his wife, Fran, asked not to be interviewed, Cochell reluctantly agreed to talk, not about the incident, but about his new life out of coaching.
Cochell said following a difficult 2001 season that he had no intention of ever retiring from the game. He said then that retirement was for people who had spent their lives doing something they didn't love. He, on the other hand, loves baseball, loves his players and loves coaching. Why retire?
But now, a year into retirement, Cochell has a different perspective.
"People say when you retire, you need things to do, that it'll be good for you," he said. "But most people don't understand the relationship I have with my wife. We spend all our time together. I don't need to find something to do. We've got plenty to do just being together doing nothing."
They visited Cochell's ailing 85-year-old mother, Barbara, for two months in Arizona. They drove through New England last fall to watch the leaves turn. Just last week they returned from a vacation in Branson, Mo., and Chicago. Cochell said he wants to see a game at the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis. Fran, a history buff, wants to travel to Europe.
The next generation
Fran Cochell is also familiar with sports history -- specifically the history of her husband's career and the playing days of her two sons.
For 15 years each spring, Fran could be found in the same seat at L. Dale Mitchell Park some 20 feet from her husband in the dugout, a scorebook in her lap and a pencil in her hand. She was there on most road trips, as well. Before that, she was at his side for three seasons at Cal State Fullerton. A year at Northwestern, 10 years at Oral Roberts, five at Cal State-Los Angeles, two at Creighton and three at Emporia State -- Fran had scored almost as many games as the 2,147 her husband had coached.
"Her record," Craig Cochell said, "is Dad's record plus my record plus Chad's record. And if you want to add soccer in there, because Chad and I were both active soccer players, she's probably got three times as many games under her belt as Dad does."
Chad said it was "not an easy life. I'd say that for any coach's wife. My mom's a warrior. Most people at that age are going to Europe or Palm Springs and she's traveling around the towns of the Big 12. So I'm glad for her now."
Both sons said that while they were growing up, their dad was gone a lot. Chad's birthday falls in the spring, so Larry missed more than a few of his parties. He also missed a lot of their games and other activities.
"It didn't make a difference to me," Chad said. "I didn't need a birthday to know that my dad loved me and cared about me. I knew that every day."
Chad and Jenny have been married two years. Jenny's grandparents asked him last month what the Cochell family usually does for Easter, and he said he had no idea, that they'd always been at a baseball game.
"Apparently, you eat a lot and then you kind of sit around and maybe watch a ball game and take a nap -- not a bad holiday," Chad said. "We all went to church and had a big lunch and sat around. It was great."
Although he still has his own gardener, Larry recently cut Craig's grass ("He hasn't been over here yet," Chad said.) Chad is in commercial real estate, and occasionally he'll pick up his dad to go look at a property. They've had lunch, taken down a fence and talked about baseball.
"I guess this is what fathers and sons do," Chad said, "as opposed to coaches and coaches' kids."
How does Larry Cochell feel when he hears his sons say they've spent more time with him in the past year than they did their entire lives before?
"I don't know how it makes me feel," he said. "I guess it makes me feel good now."
But surely regret lingers from spending so much time with other peoples' kids and so little time with his own?
"You're right. I did. I missed a lot of those things," he said. "Coaches do miss a lot of those things. But Fran's been a wonderful mother. That's why the kids turned out so good."
Going forward
In addition to his recent invitation from minor league baseball, Cochell has turned down an offer to coach in Europe and another to work with a nonprofit international sports organization. He is having the time of his life just doing nothing.
During his trip to Arizona, he went to watch OU's three-game series at Arizona State and was invited to throw out the first pitch. (When the pitch came across the plate, all the Sooner pitchers yelled, "Get the ball down!") The players then lined up and, one-by-one, embraced their old coach.
He manages his heart condition with daily medication, and he has a checkup every six months. After a prostate cancer scare in 1998, he's taking no chances.
"You realize just how precious life is and that, you know, my dad's not going to be here forever," Chad said. "So, just being selfish, I'm glad I've got more time to spend with him."
ESPN's story was that Cochell twice used racial slang, in separate conversations with two different announcers. Cochell disputes he said it once to recall an old colloquialism, but refuses to take the fight any further. He's been offered the chance to tell his side of the story, but would rather it end quietly.
Asked if his father's legacy would be forever tainted, Craig Cochell said no way.
"To the people that know him and know about him, his legacy is not only intact, it's improved. Because we know the truth," he said. "He hasn't seemed interested in (clearing his name); I'm not sure I should be, either."
Larry Cochell acknowledged last year's events were the most painful of his life.
"Well, obviously I wouldn't have chosen to end my career this way. But I've moved on," he said. "I know God's in control. We don't understand everything that's happened. But see, all those things go back, and I'm going forward. My wife says we're just getting started."
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John E. Hoover 581-8384
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