Fun expressions to use

[royalfan5]

A personal favorite of my is "trying like a steer" Of course not everybody catches onto that one.

[chriscappel]

A personal favorite of my is "trying like a steer" Of course not everybody catches onto that one.


hehe that is good...I like "hungry as a hostage"

[sanantoniosooner]

Look like a calf staring at a new gate.

Vanished like a fart in the wind.

[chriscappel]

That's Bush league!!

[setem]

Bush League is a good one. I use it all the time.

STEAK SAUCE! Cause that is A1!

[walkoffsooner]

Look like a monkey doing math

[ultimatesooner1]

cluser****

good times

[BillyBall]

Sweating like a Saudi at an airport

Excited like R.Kelly at Recess

[Rogue]

Like going to a whorehouse to get a kiss.

[sanantoniosooner]

More giddy than Stanley at a girl scout meeting.

[Cam]

cluster ****

[sanantoniosooner]

Harder to get out than a 1TC stain.

[soonercody]

cluster ****

AKA: "Charlie-Foxtrot"

[sanantoniosooner]

Taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

[BillyBall]

Obligatory: "Drunker than Eddie Sutton"

[MamaMia]

My family and friends say I use the expression "lo and behold" alot. I never really noticed until the eldest grandaughter pointed it out one day. She took a count and lo and behold if everyone didnt agree with her.:P

[chriscappel]

man i just got Bravo Foxtroted!!!

(Buddy Fuc$ed)

[sanantoniosooner]

Nutty as a fruitcake.

[SicEmBaylor]

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

[sanantoniosooner]

Posting like Nick on crack.

[chriscappel]

Dumber than a bunch of retards trying to fuc8 a doorknob!

[Beef]

fiddlesticks
figgins

[MamaMia]

I swear to it that my Uncle Pauly started the 'one bullet shy of a full load' expression back in the 60s. Hes that way.

[critical_phil]

Dumber than a bunch of retards trying to fuc8 a doorknob!



Funnier than two monkeys trying to fuc8 a football.

[Stoop Dawg]

Dumber than a bag of hammers - I don't know why that one is so funny, but it kills me.

Dumber than a box of rocks

[soonerhubs]

Hotter than a woodpecker in a wool sock.

[soonerhubs]

Beat like a rented mule.
Sweatin like a whore in church. or... Sweatin like a Bishop in a Brothel.

[critical_phil]

my younger brother is a real life hillbilly. two of my faves from him are "raped ape" and "scalded mule". as in:


that truck runs like a raped ape.
or
that truck runs like a scalded mule.

[okienole3]

When looking at a girl's outside: "like two squirrels wrestlin' over an acorn"

[Flagstaffsooner]

Hotter than a three balled tomcat.

[OKC Sooner]

cluster ****

... and the even more exotic "Tasmanian cluster ****"

[BoogercountySooner]

I'm like a full toilet--------------------I've have had all this crap I can take!

Lets move Donkeys--------------------------------Haul A$$


These are Boogerism's

[OUAndy1807]

if you guys like snappy expressions, you should get into construction:

"that's just as wrong as two boys ****ing"
"hotter than two rats ****ing in a wool sock"
"he does [whatever] like two old people ****"

I'll post more later....as I hear them today.

[Rogue]

Busier'n a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest!

As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

[Okla-homey]

Shaking like Jessica Simpson taking the ACT.

[etouffee]

Busy as a cat buryin' turds on a marble floor

[Hotel Bravo]

Taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

...and hope it's not the Jets.

[BoomerJack]

Here's a few for now. I'll problably think of many more later on.

Hotter than a pot of collards.

Nuttier than five pounds of squirrel #@%$

That boy's cornbread isn't done in the middle.

[soonercody]

S/he'd just as soon lie to you as to look at you.

[GDC]

"gheyer than a whorn lover"

[soonercody]

Cuter'n a speckled pup.
Can't tell his *** from a hole in the ground.
Wish in one hand and **** in the other.
Slicker'n snot on a doorknob.
That ship has sailed.
The horse is out of the barn.

[etouffee]

A taco short of a combo deal

[soonercody]

So ugly s/he'd scare the buzzards off a gut wagon.
Crazy as a ****-house rat.
As handy as t*ts on a boar hog.
Feel like I've been rode hard and put up wet.
Don't buy a pig in a poke.

[soonercody]

Uglier'n a mud fence.
Meaner'n a sack of rattlesnakes.
Don't let your alligator mouth overcommit your hummingbird ***.

[sooner n houston]

Nuttier than squirell poop.

[Tailwind]

I'm the mushroom around here...they keep me in the dark and feed me bull****.
Don't let your mouth write checks your *** can't cash.

[HoserSooner]

Meaner than a half-f***ed barn owl.

She/he could eat an apple through a picket fence.

She's seen more dick-ends than weekends.

[1stTimeCaller]

10 pounds of **** in a 5 pound sack

can be used to let someone know you feel very sick or hungover. can also be used to describe shoddy workmanship or **** poor planning on the architect's part.

[1stTimeCaller]

that's a nice abortion you got there Joe.

used to describe shoddy workmanship

[SCOUT]

I once saw a sticker someone had placed on a windshield of a poorly parked car. It said:
"I hope you don't park like you f***. You'll never get it in."

[GDC]

"If she had as many sticking out of her as she's had stuck in her, she'd look like a porcupine."

[MamaMia]

My dad use to say about some football players that they were "faster than a cat on a hot tin roof."

[Tailwind]

It's rainin harder than a cow ****in on a flat rock.

[1stTimeCaller]

Don't **** on my back and tell me it's raining.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

http://www.soonerfans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64216

[MamaMia]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. :D

[JohnnyMack]

Go fu*k yourself.

I like that one. Really gets right to the point.

[MamaMia]

Go fu*k yourself.

I like that one. Really gets right to the point."Go sit on a tack" gets right to the point as well and it doesnt require a potty mouth.

[soonerhubs]

My dad use to say about some football players that they were "faster than a cat on a hot tin roof."
I like that one. I once heard, "I'm bowed up like a three legged cat on a frozen pond."

[IB4OU2]

"There's more room out than there is in.." Vrrrrrrrrrrt...

[HoserSooner]

If clues were shoes, you'd be barefoot.

[Mixer!]

Why does this thread remind me of:
http://www.raiders.com/uploads/photos/perm/main/OJNHCMLNDIED/jones-coach-2005.jpg http://evans.on.silkblogs.com/SilkWare/WebObjects/SilkWare.woa/wpa/com.silkblogs.wo.delivery.Actions/1100/entryAtt

:D :stunned:

[Tiptonsooner]

Crazy as cat ****

****ed up like a football bat

[handcrafted]

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

:confused: :confused:
I'm gonna need an explanation on that one.

[Whizbang]

The four I use most commonly:

Queerer than a football bat.

Slicker than come on a gold tooth.

Uglier than a hat full of a**holes.

Nervous as a ja**ed off cat.

[MamaMia]

I dont know why, but my youngest girl and her friends say "Excuse much, rude or anything", along with calling some guys "McFly" and they do the eye roll thing and say the word "V'ger" alot.

I havent quite figured those out just yet and I'm afraid to ask because she may say "Shall I answer that, or do you just want me to glare?". :O

[12]

"Nothing months of therapy won't fix"

[Mjcpr]

I think McFly pretty much just means "dumbass" doesn't it?

What the heck is v'ger? :confused:

[MamaMia]

I think McFly pretty much just means "dumbass" doesn't it?

What the heck is v'ger? :confused:
Yes. That would indeed go with the face they make while saying "McFly"

The V-ger is more like Veee-ger. They say it when someone 'doesnt get it'. but should.

[royalfan5]

:confused: :confused:
I'm gonna need an explanation on that one.
I'll put it this way, for Matt Leinart being with Paris Hilton is like tossing a hotdog down a hallway for Matt.

[MamaMia]

I'll put it this way, for Matt Leinart being with Paris Hilton is like tossing a hotdog down a hallway for Matt.
Like hallways are thin and Matt is full of byproducts?

[royalfan5]

Like hallways are thin and Matt is full of byproducts?
Not quite.

[BoomerJack]

"Feel like I've been rode hard and put up wet."

I feel like I've been shot at and missed and #@$% at and hit.


Doesn't know come here from sic'm.

That old dog won't hunt.

Not only will that old dog won't hunt, it won't even come out from under the porch.

If you're gonna run with the big dogs you can't pee like a puppy.

[XingTheRubicon]

or like ******* a glass of water

[HoserSooner]

or like ******* a glass of water

Or a warm bucket of liver.

[opksooner]

"She drives like old people $#@%.....slow and sloppy."

[opksooner]

Oops!

[opksooner]

"Go perform an aerial assault on a paraboling pastry."

[GDC]

"like **** through a goose"

[Vaevictis]

I dont know why, but my youngest girl and her friends say "Excuse much, rude or anything", along with calling some guys "McFly" and they do the eye roll thing and say the word "V'ger" alot.

"McFly" is from Back to the Future. If you've seen it, you may remember Biff (dumb jock) picking on McFly -- a hopelessly inept nerd. He always leads with "McFly!"

I remember V'ger from Star Trek I... it was a space probe (Voyager) that we sent out, got found by a robotic society, upgraded, became self-aware and came back looking for the "creator", causing a lot of havok along the way. I have no idea why that would be a saying though :/

[Oldnslo]

Busier than a one armed man with crabs.

Hotter than a whorehouse on nickel day.

Cold as a nun's ****.

That's as messed up as a soup sandwich.

As for the hotdog/hallway issue, perhaps explaining with this will help: If I hadn't tied a board to my ***, I'd have fallen in!

[StoopTroup]

Take long run on short pier.

The lights on but nobody's home.

You smell like vaseline and A$$.

If ifs and butts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.

[Vaevictis]

Chinga tu madre -- the only Spanish any American needs to know. (other than "hijo de puta").

[stoops the eternal pimp]

colder than a witch's titty...or the extended version: colder than a witch's titty wearin a brass bra

[MamaMia]

"McFly" is from Back to the Future. If you've seen it, you may remember Biff (dumb jock) picking on McFly -- a hopelessly inept nerd. He always leads with "McFly!"

I remember V'ger from Star Trek I... it was a space probe (Voyager) that we sent out, got found by a robotic society, upgraded, became self-aware and came back looking for the "creator", causing a lot of havok along the way. I have no idea why that would be a saying though :/Thanks. I do remember them renting Back to the Future and Star Treks alot. Now if we could just figure out the "Excuse much, rude or anything" one. :D

[Vaevictis]

Thanks. I do remember them renting Back to the Future and Star Treks alot. Now if we could just figure out the "Excuse much, rude or anything" one. :D

Apparently (Google is your friend), that one is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (The movie, not the series).

[SicEmBaylor]

The absolute worst is, "whatever." I hate having my comments dismissed with "whatever." I'd rather you say, "*my name* you're absolutely full of ****" than say "whatever."

Ugh...well whatever.

[Rogue]

Thanks. I do remember them renting Back to the Future and Star Treks alot. Now if we could just figure out the "Excuse much, rude or anything" one. :D

I think it means, "butt-out" in hybrid neo abbreviated valley-girlese. Like "excuse me very much, but don't you think you're being rude or anything?"

Take a flying f*** at a rolling doughnut.

[opksooner]

Take a flying f*** at a rolling doughnut.

= Go perform an aerial assault on a paraboling pastry. :)

[BeetDigger]

Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.


More mixed up than a feather in a whirlwind.

[GDC]

colder than a witch's titty...or the extended version: colder than a witch's titty wearin a brass bra

"colder than a well-digger's ***"

[Tailwind]

Now i know how high they can stack stupid.

[Tailwind]

That guy's just skin stretched over stupid.

[sanantoniosooner]

"A cat couldn't scratch it"

[royalfan5]

dumber than a box of rocks

dumber than a sack of nickles

don't know **** from shinola

[User Name]

He couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a fistfull of fifties

[critical_phil]

Cold as a nun's ****.

see also:

tighter than a nun's ****....

[mrssoonerhubler]

"Is the pope catholic"
"is a frogs butt water tight?"
"does Hank have a spotted dick?"..(the answer is yes)
Hank is our border collie and we never knew his package was speckled till we got him shaved and saw his polka dotted penis :)

[SleestakSooner]

"McFly" is from Back to the Future. If you've seen it, you may remember Biff (dumb jock) picking on McFly -- a hopelessly inept nerd. He always leads with "McFly!"

I remember V'ger from Star Trek I... it was a space probe (Voyager) that we sent out, got found by a robotic society, upgraded, became self-aware and came back looking for the "creator", causing a lot of havok along the way. I have no idea why that would be a saying though :/

The bald robot chick that returned with Voyager kept saying V'ger because grime had covered the name on the space probe and those were the only letters still visible. She kept looking at Captain Kirk saying V'ger as if he should know what she meant by this. Finally Spock wiped the grime away and they all figured out what she meant. I am not sure but this may be what the girl is referring to but she would have to be a serious Trekkie to use that reference! :eek:

Some of my favorite phrases...

From the best recent western flick... "I'll be your huckleberry."

From my former co-worker... "'I'd like to meet her!' 'Yeah M.E.A.T.!'"

and one of my own making... "I'm not lysdexic!"

[leftfield]

for ugly chicks:

it looks like her face caught on fire and someone put it out with track spikes.

it looks like her face caught on fire and someone put it out with a bag of nickels.

[Oldnslo]

see also:

tighter than a nun's ****....
nononono it's

Tighter than a turtle's @ss underwater

or

Tighter than Dick's headband.

[1stTimeCaller]

"does Hank have a spotted dick?"..(the answer is yes)
Hank is our border collie and we never knew his package was speckled till we got him shaved and saw his polka dotted penis :)

the scabbard or the sword is spotted?

[mrssoonerhubler]

the scabbard or the sword is spotted?


The scabbard.

[slickdawg]

**** off dip **** has become a favorite. :D

[pb4ou]

Hillbilly Up

[TUSooner]

Since this thread is evidently not limited to humorous posts :O , I'll throw this in: The expression "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" does, in fact, refer to the proverbial testicles of a metal simian. It's just an old bit of English language hyperbole. If you believe the widely emailed story about a brass monkey being a ship's cannonball holder and all that other poop, you're dumber than a box of :twinkies: *
So there! :P


*I mean that in the nicest possible way.

[Wonder Woman]

Busy as a cat buryin' turds on a marble floor


This is a new one to me...hysterical!!!