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Okla-homey
4/25/2006, 12:55 PM
While basking in the green glow of the just passed 'Earth Day,' I have devised a new class of American:

People Who Drive Earth Rapers (PWDER's)

PWDER's can be sub-classed into the following categories:

Unjustified Pick-up Drivers (UPUD's) -- like me. No farm, just a pick-up

Small Genitalia Compensators (SGC's) -- men with teeny winkies who drive "Big D--- Trucks" (BDT's) aka Hummers, monster trucks and such.

Soccer Moms w/Suburbans (SMS's)
[also includes the Soccer Moms w/Expeditions (SME's), Tahoe's (SMT's), Yukons (SMY's), Navigators (SMN's) etc.]

what sub-classes should we add?

This is science people.

Vaevictis
4/25/2006, 12:57 PM
You're forgetting to add stuff like the Bugatti (that can empty its tank in 13 minutes at top speed) to the SGC's. Trucks ain't only it.

Eco-Freak Drivers (EFD?) -- people who drive first or second gen hybrids, or any car that can do biodiesel.

mdklatt
4/25/2006, 12:59 PM
Small Genitalia Compensators (SGC's) -- men with teeny winkies who drive "Big D--- Trucks" (BDT's) aka Hummers, monster trucks and such.


Does this category also include vehicles with excessive horsepower?

mdklatt
4/25/2006, 01:00 PM
Eco-Freak Drivers (EFD?) -- people who drive first or second gen hybrids, or any car that can do biodiesel.

Wouldn't this be the opposite of a PWDER?

Okla-homey
4/25/2006, 01:01 PM
You're forgetting to add stuff like the Bugatti (that can empty its tank in 13 minutes at top speed) to the SGC's. Trucks ain't only it.

indeed. BDT should be BDV (vehicle). I reckon 'Vette's and other gas-hogging "go fast" car drivers should be included among the SGC's

Eco-Freak Drivers (EFD?) -- people who drive first or second gen hybrids, or any car that can do biodiesel.

EFD's...me-likey....but not a PWDER

Osce0la
4/25/2006, 01:02 PM
OLD-Old Lady Drivers: The people in big cars that drive at or below the speed limit in the left lane on the interstate.





Note: this doesn't have to be old ladies, just people that drive like an old lady.

Vaevictis
4/25/2006, 01:03 PM
Wouldn't this be the opposite of a PWDER?

Absolutely correct. I guess that doesn't qualify as a sub-class at all.

Vaevictis
4/25/2006, 01:07 PM
People Who Can't Do Math (PWCDM's) -- people driving OLD heavy rusted out steel cars because they "can't afford a newer car", but don't realize that they would actually save if they bought a 1992ish Toyota or Honda?

Okla-homey
4/25/2006, 01:08 PM
OLD-Old Lady Drivers: The people in big cars that drive at or below the speed limit in the left lane on the interstate.





Note: this doesn't have to be old ladies, just people that drive like an old lady.

only if they are driving Inefficient Pieces of Sh-t. (IPOS...1990's or earlier Buick Park Avenues, Olds Toronados, Lincoln Towne Cars, Cadillac Coupe DeVille's, etc.) thus the drivers are IPOS's

Vaevictis
4/25/2006, 01:10 PM
IPOS works for mine. I withdraw my nomination, as yours is better.

Okla-homey
4/25/2006, 01:10 PM
People Who Can't Do Math (PWCDM's) -- people driving OLD heavy rusted out steel cars because they "can't afford a newer car", but don't realize that they would actually save if they bought a 1992ish Toyota or Honda?

we'll roll them into the IPOS's (see above)

yermom
4/25/2006, 01:14 PM
Does this category also include vehicles with excessive horsepower?

i really hate you sometimes

yermom
4/25/2006, 01:16 PM
People Who Can't Do Math (PWCDM's) -- people driving OLD heavy rusted out steel cars because they "can't afford a newer car", but don't realize that they would actually save if they bought a 1992ish Toyota or Honda?

unless they don't have credit or any savings...

Vaevictis
4/25/2006, 01:17 PM
unless they don't have credit or any savings...

For the kind of car I'm talking about, if you sell the car for scrap, you should have enough money to buy an old Toyota or Honda ;) (And when I say "old", I'm not *****-footing around here. I mean old. But even old Toyota and Hondas have damn good gas mileage)

Osce0la
4/25/2006, 01:19 PM
How about the people who drive motorcycles even though you know they're going to end up dead on the side of the interstate (like a certain poster on this site)?

yermom
4/25/2006, 01:19 PM
For the kind of car I'm talking about, if you sell the car for scrap, you should have enough money to buy an old Toyota or Honda ;) (And when I say "old", I'm not *****-footing around here. I mean old. But even old Toyota and Hondas have damn good gas mileage)

you're making it sound a lot easier than it is

yermom
4/25/2006, 01:21 PM
How about the people who drive motorcycles even though you know they're going to end up dead on the side of the interstate (like a certain poster on this site)?

i think there are a few people on the site that rides those... i don't think that dead on the interstate is a sure thing though, but there is a whole other level of caution invovled, or at least there should be

Vaevictis
4/25/2006, 01:22 PM
you're making it sound a lot easier than it is

Of course I am. This is an internet message board; hyperbole is mandatory.

mdklatt
4/25/2006, 01:28 PM
i really hate you sometimes

I never defined "excessive"...you must have a guilty conscience.


Or a tiny weenis.

mdklatt
4/25/2006, 01:29 PM
How about the people who drive motorcycles even though you know they're going to end up dead on the side of the interstate (like a certain poster on this site)?

Motorcycles are very fuel efficient.

Okla-homey
4/25/2006, 01:30 PM
How about the people who drive motorcycles even though you know they're going to end up dead on the side of the interstate (like a certain poster on this site)?

They're not PWDER's. They just have a death wish, which can contribute to the diminishment of the excess population of resource users...which, speaking strictly in "green" terms, is a good thing.;)

yermom
4/25/2006, 01:34 PM
I never defined "excessive"...you must have a guilty conscience.


Or a tiny weenis.

heh

I don't think it's excessive... ok, maybe a little

for 90% of the driving i do it probably is :O

OhU1
4/25/2006, 01:50 PM
only if they are driving Inefficient Pieces of Sh-t. (IPOS...1990's or earlier Buick Park Avenues, Olds Toronados, Lincoln Towne Cars, Cadillac Coupe DeVille's, etc.) thus the drivers are IPOS's

I've owned 3 of the above 4. Even though these cars sucked gas they were so cheap to buy they were virtually free. Gas was only about a buck and quarter so the math still worked.

These cars were IPOS well past their glorys days. Still I was always able to find someone poorer than me who would buy them for about $1,000 after I took them from the 125,000 to the 175,000 mile marks and was done with them.

Actually, you still have to burn a heck of a lot of gas to make up for the premium of a new car payment.

yermom
4/25/2006, 01:53 PM
i think you have to burn a lot of gas to cover the cost of upgrading to a hybrid as well

Mjcpr
4/25/2006, 01:55 PM
Unjustified Pick-up Drivers (UPUD's) -- like me. No farm, just a pick-up

Technically, this is impossible. Dean says every American family should have a pickup.

TUSooner
4/25/2006, 02:13 PM
Just to clarify...
May we assume that PWDERS is pronouncified as "pewders".
I'll hang up and listen to your answer. Thank you.

Tear Down This Wall
4/25/2006, 02:35 PM
I'd like to throw my two cents in on the soccer mom thing...

First, it should be known that before I began working in the Highland Park/Preston Hollow area of Dallas, I could have cared less about what I am about to write. But,...

...dadgummit, why can't there be a law against letting women driving the huge hulking SUVs? Those phone-jabbering, fake-chested, bleach-blonde, rugrat-ferrying broads damn near kill me at least once weekly as I try to make my way in and around Preston Center! A law against phone-jabbering, fake-chested, bleach-blonde, rugrat-ferrying women driving SUVs, I say!

Boarder
4/25/2006, 02:44 PM
Whiny Hippies Who Care Too Much About Other People's Vehicles (WHWCTMAOPV) Those who just look at the dimensions of something and determine thier Earth friendliness. Never mind that a Hybrid actually has a higher energy cost thatn most SUVs, including Escalades, Tahoes, H2, etc (http://www.caranddriver.com/dailyautoinsider/10871/doubts-cast-on-hybrid-efficiency.html)


:D

TUSooner
4/25/2006, 02:48 PM
***Those phone-jabbering, fake-chested, bleach-blonde, rugrat-ferrying broads....

Got any phone numbers? Some soccer moms are disturbingly hot, y'know.

handcrafted
4/25/2006, 02:48 PM
IPOS's? I don't think they exist.

Oh, and under the SGC category, there should be a sub-category of people with truk nutz.

handcrafted
4/25/2006, 02:49 PM
Got any phone numbers? Some soccer moms are disturbingly hot, y'know.

Stacey's Mom has got it goin' on...

SoonerInKCMO
4/25/2006, 02:49 PM
Heh. I saw a newspaper article on what Boarder posted a few days ago.


The least expensive: Scion xB at $0.48 cents.

Tin cans on wheels are cheap.

SoonerInKCMO
4/25/2006, 02:59 PM
On the hybrid front, the Prius Energy Index (EI) rating is 132.38, while the Toyota Corolla is 29.83.


Ha! Now I can really look down my nose at those smug Prius owners.

SoonerInKCMO
4/25/2006, 03:03 PM
From http://www.usnews.com/usnews/biztech/articles/060331/31hybrids.htm

Most energy efficientCost per mileScion xB$0.48Ford Escort$0.57Jeep Wrangler$0.60Chevrolet Tracker$0.69Toyota Echo$0.70Saturn Ion$0.71Hyundai Elantra$0.72Dodge Neon$0.73Toyota Corolla$0.73Scion xA$0.74
Least energy efficientCost per mileMaybach$11.58VW Phaeton$11.21Rolls-Royce$10.66Bentley$10.56Audi Allroad Quattro$5.60Audi A8$4.96Audi A6$4.96Lexus LS 430$4.73Porsche Carrera GT$4.53Acura NSX$4.45

The average of all vehicles is $2.28 - the Prius is $3.25.

soonerbrat
4/25/2006, 03:03 PM
i'm the only soccer mom that doesn't drive an SUV.

49r
4/25/2006, 03:24 PM
What kind of car do guys with really big weenis' drive?



'cause that's what I have... :O

Mjcpr
4/25/2006, 03:36 PM
What kind of car do guys with really big weenis' drive?


A Silverado.

handcrafted
4/25/2006, 03:48 PM
What kind of car do guys with really big weenis' drive?



'cause that's what I have... :O

A Brokeback Montana. :D