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View Full Version : Time to get Smooved



bri
4/23/2006, 07:12 PM
Girl, if there is any doubt in your mind as to what time it is, let me break it down for you: It is time for you to get Smooved.

Aw, baby, I know that I had said some things that made you mad, but I am extremely sorry. If you just come on home, I will make it up to you. I will take you to new stratospheres of love. I will sex you wild.

To make up for all the foolish things I said, tomorrow night, I will escort you to my crib, where I will prepare for you a romantic meal comprised of succulent lobster from the finest sea. We will both eat the lobster and enjoy a side dish of rice with it. There will also be a baked potato waiting for you, and some butter for you to place upon that potato. In addition, there will be sour cream, which you may also put on the potato if you so desire.

I will also serve juice.

Then, when we have each finished eating our meals, I will lay your body down on a bedsheet comprised of 100 percent silk, which I will purchase in advance from the finest store in this city. Then, just before we freak, I will inquire as to how you like the feel of the sheets. If you inform me that you do not like it, I will travel to other cities around the world until I locate a store that sells sheets that are more to your satisfaction. Then, I will purchase those sheets and return home to put them on the bed for you.

It is then that I will hit you doggy-style.

While I am freaking you, I will whisper various things in your ear. Some of the phrases I will say to you are, "Baby, you are my everything," "You feel so good, I can't stand it," and, "Girl, ride me." There will also be candles and a CD featuring the music of Keith Sweat to create an atmosphere of unbridled romance, making you wet.

This is how you will get Smooved.

Just say the word, and we will share interplanetary cocoa love until the break of dawn. We will bump across the galaxy, exploring the known solar system with our passion. We will journey to places even the astronomers have never been. We will bump to Pluto, as well as to the moon.

When we are through with the lovemaking aspect of our romantic evening together, I will still continue to attend to your needs. If you wish a grape to be placed in your mouth, I will place one there. It does not matter whether you want a purple grape or a white grape, as I will supply myself with grapes of both colors.

If you would like to be massaged with scented oils, I will appear behind you and do so. I will make sure to rub your neck and shoulders lovingly, neither rubbing so hard as to be painful, nor so soft as to be ineffectual for massaging purposes.

Aw, girl, I want to throw you on the floor right now and ride you hard.

To summarize my feelings, I love you, and that fact is inscrutable. If you could only find it in your heart to forgive me for all the foolish things I did and said, we could take a magical voyage to Atlantis together, sailing on a caravan of love. Just say the word, and I will sting you. I will Smoove you.

All night long.

GottaHavePride
4/23/2006, 07:26 PM
that's some fine writing. Right along with Girl, she means nothing to me. (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/25761)

soonerbrat
4/23/2006, 07:36 PM
sweet talker

bri
4/23/2006, 07:51 PM
Thank you for coming over for a mellow evening with Smoove. Smoove would take you out to the finest dance club or restaurant in the city, but Smoove has had a long week. Smoove is very tired.

I may have mentioned this before, but I did not sleep well last night. I am not so sure why, but even a bed as luxurious and silken as mine could not ease the sleep into my mind. I purchased some melatonin this afternoon, so that might help.

Oh, did I mention that your outfit looks very fine tonight? I can't remember. If I did not then...yeah. It looks great. Damn, I am so out of it today.

Although we will be enjoying a quiet evening at home, that does not mean I will not provide for your every need. I have a wide array of DVD selections that I rented that we can watch tonight. I also have many from my personal DVD library that I would not mind watching again.

Do you want some coffee? I think I am going to make some.

I should tell you it makes me very happy that you have decided to join me for a quiet night at home. Would you like to adjourn to the couch? I need to stretch out.

...Huh, I'm sorry, baby. I was just resting my eyes. Why do you have your coat on? What time is it? Damn, I must have nodded off. Why don't you stay? Okay, well, I'll give you a call tomorrow.

slickdawg
4/23/2006, 11:35 PM
sweet talker


mmmm, k1nky!




;)

yermom
4/24/2006, 02:34 AM
Kornfeld was always better than Smoove B

bri
4/24/2006, 06:32 AM
Kornfeld is funnier, Smoove is....smoover. :D

yermom
4/24/2006, 08:40 AM
well, i'll give you that

picasso
4/24/2006, 10:40 AM
he smoove, that boy smoove.

goil, you know it's true.