My *** story.....

[Stanley1]

And for all you haters that didn't think I'd post this tonight, BOO ON YOU!!!!! :mad:

Okay, so for the past month or so my stomach has been hurting. Alot. And for the record, I'm not preggers, never thought I was preggers, and can't get preggers. So, being a typical male, I'm not big on going to a doctor unless I just have to. I've think I've been to the family doctor in Dallas 3 times (twice for allergies) before today. But the stomach kept hurting, so I made the appointment.

I show up, and get called back. Every other time I've been here, the main Dr.'s assistant pretty much ran the show, and the Dr. would show up, sign the papers, and leave. Well.....this time the Dr., who has to be pushing 70, saw me. Alone.

He comes in and asks me what is wrong. I tell him I need my allergy medicines refilled, and told him about my stomach. First thing he does is make fun of the fact that I've put on 12 pounds since he last saw me. I nearly killed him, but spared his life instead. Second thing he does is write out my two prescriptions for my allergies. Then he tells me to "strip down to my shorts".

Now. Maybe I'm naive, or whatever, but I don't particularly like having a 70 year old man say those words to me. It frightens me. But I did it. So I'm sitting there in my boxers, and he comes in. Tells me to lay down, and starts pulling my boxers down a little. I'm thinking, "this is really weird". So he pats and pushes on my stomach for a little bit, then tells me to stand up and drop my shorts. I know whats comin' at this point, I played sports growing up, I've had my scrot felt on before, no biggie. I will say that his exam seemed to last a little longer than I remember them usually taking though.

So there I am, standing in front of this guy, drawers on the ground, and he says this to me: "Okay, lay down on your back, you ready for this? One of the marvals of male medicine"

I immediately know what he is thinking, and I say, "Is this what I think it is, cause if so, I'm not so sure I want that happening today". He then explains that stomach pain can be any number of things, including colon problems. He says everything else checks out fine. I tell him thanks, but no thanks.

He told me to get dressed, then he came back a few minutes later. Told me to take some antacids, and come see him if I ever change my mind about my behind. I just nod my head.

So, I don't know why my stomach hurts. I do, however, know that I don't have ball-sack cancer, ulcers, or pancreas problems. And worst of all, my balls were in the hands of an old man today, and I sorta feel like I've betrayed Howzit some how.

The end!

[sanantoniosooner]

I was totally unaware that you were a typical male.

[Stanley1]

I was totally unaware that you were a typical male.

Yes. I come from a long line of men that try to keep things out of our ***es.

[IB4OU2]

Stan, seriously if it persists go see a female doctor then. It could be something bad.

[colleyvillesooner]

Dude.

Gross.

I revoke my Stars ticket offer. :D

[sanantoniosooner]

I gotta visit Dr. Jelleyfinger myself.

I'm pretty sure it's just hemmoroids.

[Sooner Born Sooner Bred]

Stan, seriously if it persists go see a female doctor then. It could be something bad.Yeah go see an OB-GYN

[bigdsooner]

And for all you haters that didn't think I'd post this tonight, BOO ON YOU!!!!! :mad:

Okay, so for the past month or so my stomach has been hurting. Alot. And for the record, I'm not preggers, never thought I was preggers, and can't get preggers. So, being a typical male, I'm not big on going to a doctor unless I just have to. I've think I've been to the family doctor in Dallas 3 times (twice for allergies) before today. But the stomach kept hurting, so I made the appointment.

I show up, and get called back. Every other time I've been here, the main Dr.'s assistant pretty much ran the show, and the Dr. would show up, sign the papers, and leave. Well.....this time the Dr., who has to be pushing 70, saw me. Alone.

He comes in and asks me what is wrong. I tell him I need my allergy medicines refilled, and told him about my stomach. First thing he does is make fun of the fact that I've put on 12 pounds since he last saw me. I nearly killed him, but spared his life instead. Second thing he does is write out my two prescriptions for my allergies. Then he tells me to "strip down to my shorts".

Now. Maybe I'm naive, or whatever, but I don't particularly like having a 70 year old man say those words to me. It frightens me. But I did it. So I'm sitting there in my boxers, and he comes in. Tells me to lay down, and starts pulling my boxers down a little. I'm thinking, "this is really weird". So he pats and pushes on my stomach for a little bit, then tells me to stand up and drop my shorts. I know whats comin' at this point, I played sports growing up, I've had my scrot felt on before, no biggie. I will say that his exam seemed to last a little longer than I remember them usually taking though.

So there I am, standing in front of this guy, drawers on the ground, and he says this to me: "Okay, lay down on your back, you ready for this? One of the marvals of male medicine"

I immediately know what he is thinking, and I say, "Is this what I think it is, cause if so, I'm not so sure I want that happening today". He then explains that stomach pain can be any number of things, including colon problems. He says everything else checks out fine. I tell him thanks, but no thanks.

He told me to get dressed, then he came back a few minutes later. Told me to take some antacids, and come see him if I ever change my mind about my behind. I just nod my head.

So, I don't know why my stomach hurts. I do, however, know that I don't have ball-sack cancer, ulcers, or pancreas problems. And worst of all, my balls were in the hands of an old man today, and I sorta feel like I've betrayed Howzit some how.

The end!

dude, you gotta just let the doc do the deed. i had a friend die of colon cancer 1 year ago...he was 32 and had a wife and 2 year old daughter. he never returned from the weekend, he started having bad stomach pain's, went to the doc on the following monday...5 months later he died. im fittin to go to the doc for it myself. yes it scary, but its gotta be done.

now quit bein a pu**y and let the doc scope that a$$ :O

[SoonerInKCMO]

Too much talk about Stan's *** for my taste.

[ChickSoonerFan]

now quit bein a pu**y and let the doc scope that a$$ :O

Yeah....if your stomach keeps hurting...you need to figure out why.

No es bueno. :D

[usmc-sooner]

Brokeback MD

[crawfish]

You should go to OUDoc. He buys you dinner and gets you drunk first.

[proud gonzo]

just make sure you go back to the a5s doctor BEFORE you rent "Robin Williams: LIVE on Broadway"

:eek:

[mdklatt]

You should go to OUDoc. He buys you dinner and gets you drunk first.

Plus, you don't need an appointment.

[Howzit]

Stan, it's ok. As long as you don't ask the doctor to pinch your nipples it's still medical. Punkin.

[12]

"Alone." would have been comedic gold had it been a paragraph by itself.

[Okla-homey]

Did Dr Brokeback give you a reach-around?

[Howzit]

First thing he does is make fun of the fact that I've put on 12 pounds since he last saw me.
Dont' worry about it, you're bones are still growing.

Especially when 70-year-old-ball-cupping guy was doing his magic.

[Al Gore]

Plus, you don't need an appointment.Just a hotel room......

[LoyalFan]

Stan, seriously if it persists go see a female doctor then. It could be something bad.

Oh, I dunno. Going to a female Dr. might turn into something good.
Wait, this is Stan, right? Something good? Ha!
Everyone knows one cannot be a doctor under the age of 18.

Earnestly, Stanislaus, get thee to a doctor and find out just how many "good months" you have before...sniff...you know. This might be something that is serious but fixable IF you act now. Call your Doctor! (Operators standing by. Have credit card ready.)

Best wishes, and I mean it.

LF

[OUDoc]

Unless he's got a 6-foot finger, jamming it up there isn't going to tell you all that much about your colon health. He just wanted to emphasize that you need to lose that 12 pounds. You'll remember now, won't you? :)

[IB4OU2]

Sounds like a colonoscopy may be in poor Stans future.

[Osce0la]

If Stan goes to a female doctor, I don't think he'll be the only one getting something in the pooper...

Just sayin';)

[Osce0la]

just make sure you go back to the a5s doctor BEFORE you rent "Robin Williams: LIVE on Broadway"

:eek:
Haha! True...It's been a while since I saw that, but I do remember that part of the show...

[12]

Unless he's got a 6-foot finger, jamming it up there isn't going to tell you all that much about your colon health. He just wanted to emphasize that you need to lose that 12 pounds. You'll remember now, won't you? :)

Folks, you don't get this kind of quality advice anywhere else.

[OUDoc]

Folks, you don't get this kind of quality advice anywhere else.
I know. I can't figure out why they refused to renew my medical license.

[Mjcpr]

I don't think I'da tolt that.

[OUDoc]

Ummm, upon further review, you should go get a colonoscopy.

http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020403/173317__24_l.jpg

[ChickSoonerFan]

Ummm, upon further review, you should go get a colonoscopy.

http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020403/173317__24_l.jpg

;)

[C&CDean]

At the next tailgate, we'll all take turns scoping your colon. With a 30.06.

Quit being a fish taco. Bend over and take it like a man. Situational homosexuality Stan. Sometimes it's OK to be a fag.











Like you didn't already get the butt treatment up at the private school.....

[Osce0la]

heh

[TexasLidig8r]

Don't be a skerred... After all.. it won't exactly look like this.. well.. maybe it will after all...

http://www.agrri.org.uk/Pictures/Tunnel%20Train.jpg

[Harry Beanbag]

Don't be a skerred... After all.. it won't exactly look like this.. well.. maybe it will after all...

http://www.agrri.org.uk/Pictures/Tunnel%20Train.jpg




No, it'll be like this...

http://static.flickr.com/30/66271600_92bf8ccab0_m.jpg

[Stanley1]

I appreciate all the concern. After a night of sleeping on it, I'm still pretty sure I made the right decision. If I'm still feeling bad in a month or so, I may look at going back and having my butt poked. But for now, no thanks.

[pb4ou]

Hey Stanley, pm me. Your message quota is full.

[MamaMia]

You really need to have some tests done. You will feel better afterward, just to know whats going on. It sounds like reflux or colon problems. They scoped my tummy and colon on the same day.

[Stanley1]

Hey Stanley, pm me. Your message quota is full.

I can't. I'd have to delete over 800 PM's to get down to the right limit. My membership expired a few days ago, and I'm in the process of renewing it. Shoot me a message over at Myspace.

[Beef]

I can't. I'd have to delete over 800 PM's to get down to the right limit. My membership expired a few days ago, and I'm in the process of renewing it. Shoot me a message over at Myspace.
:dean: Pay your damn bills, son.:dean:

[pb4ou]

I can't. I'd have to delete over 800 PM's to get down to the right limit. My membership expired a few days ago, and I'm in the process of renewing it. Shoot me a message over at Myspace.

okay, go check your comments on your space.

[Stanley1]

:dean: Pay your damn bills, son.:dean:

I thought I'd get some kind of warning. Nope, they just cut off your electric and tell you tough tittay.

[C&CDean]

I thought I'd get some kind of warning. Nope, they just cut off your electric and tell you tough tittay.

That's because we assume most people are responsible adults who pay attention to their financial matters. Our bad.

[Stanley1]

That's because we assume most people are responsible adults who pay attention to their financial matters. Our bad.

When anybody else wants money from me, they send me a bill/invoice. You too good for that? ;)

[C&CDean]

When anybody else wants money from me, they send me a bill/invoice. You too good for that? ;)

It's in the mail......

[1stTimeCaller]

You've known for how long now and still haven't renewed?

Slacker.

btw, Howzit and Chick are flirting with each other in the Sponsor's forum.

[OU Adonis]

If I'm still feeling bad in a month or so, I may look at going back and having my butt poked. But for now, no thanks.

And then go to the doctor.

[Howzit]

btw, Howzit and Chick are flirting with each other in the Sponsor's forum.

Big Mouth.

[Stanley1]

btw, Howzit and Chick are flirting with each other in the Sponsor's forum.

Not suprising.

[Stanley1]

You've known for how long now and still haven't renewed?



3-4 days. I was going to mail a check, but may try the paypal thing tonight. Paypal hates me though, cause of my gambling.

[ChickSoonerFan]

Not suprising.

:mad:





:O

[ChickSoonerFan]

When anybody else wants money from me, they send me a bill/invoice. You too good for that? ;)

Is that all it takes? NOW you tell me....geezzz. :D

[Howzit]

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/4154/invoice6yh.jpg

[leavingthezoo]

ok, usually i'm just fine with boys being big babies about the doctor. but if you're willing to go in a month if it's still bad, why not now? a month is a long time for things to get hairy.

heh. hairy.

[ChickSoonerFan]

ok, usually i'm just fine with boys being big babies about the doctor. but if you're willing to go in a month if it's still bad, why not now? a month is a long time for things to get hairy.

heh. hairy.

Good point...and this has been going on for a long time already.

[Sooner_Bob]

http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/9615/turnyourhead9ux.jpg

[Beef]

I thought I'd get some kind of warning. Nope, they just cut off your electric and tell you tough tittay.
Tough tittay is better than no tittay. :O

[Harry Beanbag]

ok, usually i'm just fine with boys being big babies about the doctor. but if you're willing to go in a month if it's still bad, why not now? a month is a long time for things to get hairy.

heh. hairy.


Thanks for that image. I just lost my lunch. :(

[leavingthezoo]

Thanks for that image. I just lost my lunch. :(

well, i could have said, "it get's harry down there." then we all could have lost our lunch. :P

[colleyvillesooner]

Good point...and this has been going on for a long time already.

Right about the time you two started dating, no?

Coincidence? I think not. :D

[C&CDean]

I was thinking that Chick might be poisoning the boy - but then I remembered that there's no motive. Unless she just wants him outta the way cause he's scaring her or something.

[Harry Beanbag]

well, i could have said, "it get's harry down there." then we all could have lost our lunch. :P


Ugh, that's not very nice at all. :mad: ;)

[Stanley1]

I was thinking that Chick might be poisoning the boy - but then I remembered that there's no motive. Unless she just wants him outta the way cause he's scaring her or something.

There is prolly more truth to that than I want to believe.

[proud gonzo]

Not suprising. Howzit's a very attractive man--even I can't resist him.
:eek:

[Stanley1]

Hi, I'm homely, and nobody likes me.

:eek:


:D

[proud gonzo]

I have pretty eyelashes and pretty eyeliner and i like to dance around with flowers in my hair

TMI, dude


;)

[Stanley1]

TMI, dude


;)

Way to go.....you just crossed the line. :( :O

[proud gonzo]

Way to go.....you just made me cry. :( :O
awww, I'm sorry ;)

[IB4OU2]

So Stan, How's the tummy feeling today?

[Stanley1]

So Stan, How's the tummy feeling today?

200 x better. A miraculous recovery. Thanks for asking.

It really does feel a little better. I really think the pain was coming from some bad eating habits, possibly a strained muscle, and the additional wait I've put on. Working on fixing all 3.

[MamaMia]

Stanley, did you ever have those tests done?

[Howzit]

He has started going in two, three times a week.

[Stanley1]

Stanley, did you ever have those tests done?

Uh.....no. It really has started feeling a little better, and what pain I have left has been high in my stomach, not low which would indicate anything being wrong with my buttocks (per the doctor).

As of now, I don't plan to. That could change if I don't keep feeling better, or if I get worse.

Thanks for the concern. And Howzit, get lost.

[BeetDigger]

Thanks for the concern. And Howzit, get the lube.


:texan:

[colleyvillesooner]

Gross.

[Sooner in Tampa]

I miss Stanley...sometimes