I'm probably going to jail [Archive] - SoonerFans.com Message Boards

Penguin

4/12/2006, 05:26 PM

I went to the local convenience store to pick up a 2 liter of soda. At the store, the 2 liters are located in the back right next to the ATM. Well, it's kind of a small store, so this guy at the ATM was in way and I couldn't get to the drinks.

The dude at the machine looked like a thug and probably was a gang member, so I was in no hurry. Well, I wait a minute and then he steps away from the ATM and walks down a few aisles. I walked over and picked up my 2 liter of Coke. Just then, the ATM beeps, I turn to look at it. The thing starts spitting out about $400. I quickly walked away as the dude ran up and grabbed his money. He kind of laughed.

So, here's my guess. Some dude stole somebody's ATM card, used it to withdraw the max at some nameless convience store, and my priceless mug with jaw agape is forever stored on the ATM's camera.

I'll be posting soon from the Houston City Jail asking for bail money.

sanantoniosooner

4/12/2006, 05:31 PM

Don't unintentionally witness the crime if you aren't prepared to do the time.

william_brasky

4/12/2006, 05:32 PM

night night, keep your butthole tight :twinkies:

OUinFLA

4/12/2006, 05:57 PM

You think they're gonna let you online so you can ask us for bail money?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa

BeetDigger

4/12/2006, 06:02 PM

Do you have any idea of what they do to Penguins in jail? Oh man, I would hate to be you.

IB4OU2

4/12/2006, 06:04 PM

Can you post from jail now? :confused:

SCOUT

4/12/2006, 06:22 PM

I would also be worried about the gang banger knocking you off to eliminate any witnesses.

Penguin

4/12/2006, 06:25 PM

I would also be worried about the gang banger knocking you off to eliminate any witnesses.

Great. I wasn't thinking about that. I'm going into hiding!

SCOUT

4/12/2006, 06:38 PM

Great. I wasn't thinking about that. I'm going into hiding!
Just trying to help ;)

StoopTroup

4/12/2006, 07:01 PM

http://bookweb.kinokuniya.co.jp/bimgdata/FC0316120324.JPG

StoopTroup

4/12/2006, 07:05 PM

Do you have any idea of what they do to Penguins in jail? Oh man, I would hate to be you.
No kiddin'...

Remember to never run out of smokes...:D

http://static.flickr.com/26/50402735_2789688df3_m.jpg

oumartin

4/12/2006, 07:07 PM

you are so screwed!

OUinFLA

4/12/2006, 07:20 PM

Thankfully, SO has a whole flock of Penguins to keep us entertained while you are gone.

RacerX

4/12/2006, 07:23 PM

This should solve your supervisor issue.

Okla-homey

4/12/2006, 07:24 PM

Unless the Houston PD has powerful computers with face recognition software indexed to TPS DL photos you're cool. That said, if they do, you may have some 'splainin' to do -- but I doubt it. After all, this is Houston/West New Orleans right?;)

Howzit

4/12/2006, 07:31 PM

We'll all vouch for your lack of character, Penguin.

oumartin

4/12/2006, 07:32 PM

I knew a woman that went to the pen for 8 years in houston and it was mistaken identity the whole time..

sanantoniosooner

4/12/2006, 07:33 PM

I knew a woman that went to the pen for 8 years in houston and it was mistaken identity the whole time..
Where should she have been instead of Houston?

StoopTroup

4/12/2006, 07:35 PM

Maybe DNA will get you off the hook in a few years. :D

oumartin

4/12/2006, 07:35 PM

make light all you want. she lost 8 years of her life..

Penguin

4/12/2006, 07:41 PM

she lost 8 years of her life..

I did, too. It's called marriage. :texan:

oumartin

4/12/2006, 07:46 PM

ha,, that reminds you. I gotta start a new thread

sanantoniosooner

4/12/2006, 07:46 PM

I did, too. It's called marriage. :texan:
try seventeen.

No time off for good behaviour either.

oumartin

4/12/2006, 07:54 PM

I've been together for 16 years and its getting harder.

sanantoniosooner

4/12/2006, 07:56 PM

I've been together for 16 years and its getting harder.
I don't mind the 'getting harder' part.

There's just no relief once you're there.

oumartin

4/12/2006, 07:57 PM

I'm back on the zoloft to cope..

Jerk

4/12/2006, 08:02 PM

Hey! Zoloft is what I take, too! It makes you not give a sh** about anything!

MamaMia

4/12/2006, 08:03 PM

Are we suppose to be your alibi? ;)

sanantoniosooner

4/12/2006, 08:04 PM

Remember that thread Penguin posted about how to get $400?

oumartin

4/12/2006, 08:05 PM

it just makes me tired Jerk, I got put on it in 2001 cuz I'm a bit anal and obsessive compulsive and a clean freak. Wife hates all that.. I just came home from work and went to bed. she loved that.

oumartin

4/12/2006, 08:05 PM

who cares. he's in jail

Al Gore

4/12/2006, 08:08 PM

You pervs turn every thread into sex.....please focus on the problem.....

BajaOklahoma

4/12/2006, 08:19 PM

try seventeen.

No time off for good behaviour either.

Babies! Wait until you hit 30! :eek:
Mr. Baja can't afford to get rid of me - I know all of the secrets. :D

oumartin

4/12/2006, 08:21 PM

you're probably easy to get along with!

Jerk

4/12/2006, 08:26 PM

it just makes me tired Jerk, I got put on it in 2001 cuz I'm a bit anal and obsessive compulsive and a clean freak. Wife hates all that.. I just came home from work and went to bed. she loved that.

Well, what do ya know. I am also diagnosed with OCD, thus the Zoloft.

Let me give you some advice I have recently learned as an obsessive-compulsive:

Do not evar, evar, EVAR, play Sudoku!

oumartin

4/12/2006, 08:29 PM

Okay I won't....
I just started back two days ago because I about had a anxiety attack at work sunday night. my heart was beating out my chest and I couldn't calm down. only thing. I feel sick when I wake up in the morning since getting back on them a couple days ago.. either that or I'm pregnant in which case I could be on Greys anatomy

sanantoniosooner

4/12/2006, 08:30 PM

I am also diagnosed with OCD
remind me to never get in a trivial debate with you.

MamaMia

4/12/2006, 08:36 PM

Well, what do ya know. I am also diagnosed with OCD, thus the Zoloft.

Let me give you some advice I have recently learned as an obsessive-compulsive:

Do not evar, evar, EVAR, play Sudoku!I have OCD and they tried to put me on stuff. I took it for 3 months and didnt just feel like myself anymore. Once I knew what I had, studied up on it and got off the medicince I was fine. Good luck though.:)

BajaOklahoma

4/12/2006, 08:42 PM

you're probably easy to get along with!

My husband can only wish! But thanks for the nice words.

SoonerBorn68

4/12/2006, 08:49 PM

You pervs turn every thread into sex.....please focus on the problem.....

martin taking Zoloft anally? Ewwww. :eek:

oumartin

4/12/2006, 09:02 PM

sb68,, I undo my zipper so you could open your mouth! ;)

Penguin

4/13/2006, 12:14 AM

I used to be on Paxil. It worked OK, but it gave me some sexual side effects.

Delayed O was a side effect (which was fine by me), but the O itself was rather painful.

lookup retrograde ejaculation

Kinda weird, so I stopped taking it.

william_brasky

4/13/2006, 12:31 AM

Hamhock

4/13/2006, 07:30 AM

Tom Cruise is very disappointed in all of you.

ChickSoonerFan

4/13/2006, 08:32 AM

I had (what I thought) was a really funny comment about the original topic of this thread but now it would make no sense at all.

You guys need meds. ;)

sanantoniosooner

4/13/2006, 08:34 AM

You guys need meds. ;)
I think most are listing the meds they have been or are on.

I lean towards two Wilmas and a Betty.

oumartin

4/13/2006, 10:17 AM

zoloft causes 'O' problems as well for me.. and my hand gets tired so i quit

handcrafted

4/13/2006, 10:59 AM

GDC

4/13/2006, 11:00 AM

Getting carjacked is a lot worse than seeing someone use someone else's ATM card.

oumartin

4/13/2006, 11:36 AM

we're not talkinga bout penguin anymore. he's in jail.. this is about prescription drugs..

BOB SAGET

OUinFLA

4/13/2006, 12:16 PM

Getting carjacked is a lot worse than seeing someone use someone else's ATM card.

so is being run over by an elephant herd.
Is this about better choices?

I mean the Penguin could be incarcerated at any moment.

How many of you are going to visit him in jail? I know Im not.

I vote for the drug thread jack. Prozac - the right way to celebrate 50. and maybe 60. Ill get back to you.

GDC

4/13/2006, 12:18 PM

Anybody ever been tear-gassed? That **** ****:mad: ing hurts.

OUinFLA

4/13/2006, 01:53 PM

Anybody ever been tear-gassed? That **** ****:mad: ing hurts.

well, now you've done it.
this thread will get merged with slickdawgs obese secretary thread.
we'll lose track of penguin and never hear from him again.

Jerk

4/13/2006, 04:19 PM

I haven't been diagnosed with OCD because I refuse to go to shrinks...but I probably have it. All those acronyms are for the birds. And I don't take drugs. There's OCD that brings a person's life to a halt, and there's OCD that just makes you act a little weird sometimes.

"Real" OCD is accompanied by severe depression, among other things. Those "other things" did indeed bring my life to a halt. Imagine being so pre-occupied by something going on in your mind that you lose touch with the real world, can't pay attention, can't concentrate. Not good because I drive an 80,000 pound vehicle for a living. I could literally forget to turn to avoid something! Yes, that bad.

I remember where I was at and what I was doing when I finally broke down and said I'm going to a doctor. I damned sure didn't want to do it, but nothing else worked.