Speaking of funerals...

[VeeJay]

Something occurred to me a while back, that I can not remember the last funeral I went to where I was not chosen, designated, or asked to be a pall bearer. I did it at both my grandparents' funerals a few years ago, my wife's grandfather's funeral, her dad's funeral last year. This all started when I was 16 and considered strapping young man enough to carry caskets. I have put more people in their graves than Joseph Mengele.

I probably shouldn't let this bother me; it's just that I've hauled coffins to grave sites of people I hardly know. I think there's a radar at funeral homes across the fruited plain - "Here comes VeeJay, good, now we only need two more."

Anyone else feel that on their tombstone will read something like "Here Lies VeeJay, Pallbearer Extraordinaire."?

I think from now on, I'm just gonna have bursitis or something on funeral day.

[slickdawg]

I feel your pain. My wife has buried three relatives in the last 20 months,
both grandparents and her aunt. Without a doubt, at each funeral, at the
last minute, they've come up and said "oh, could you be a pall bearer?
I've been one at least 10 times now.

My tombstone will be "slickdawg, digger of graves", or something like that.

[VeeJay]

Slickdawg - did you ever have to go to Lakewood in Jackson?

I think I could meander around that place blindfolded. Hell, half my kin is out there. I have begged Mrs. VJ not to send my dad a$$ back to Jackson to be buried.

[Melo]

My record is at 100% for being a pallbearer.

Though I've only been to one funeral. Hopefully I wont be attending any more in the near future.

[Okla-homey]

Next time, just trip and fall, hopefully taking the guys on your side of the box with you and busting up a corner on the casket...and you'll never get asked again. Plus, the episode will be the subject of family lore for generations.

just saying.

[StoopTroup]

VeeJay...

Quit wearing a suit to the funeral.

Try cutoffs and a t-shirt with sandals.

Heck maybe skip the t-shirt and take a guitar and tell the preacher you wanted to play a little something in honor of the deceased. ;)

http://www.savageattitude.com/tn_Hyst14.jpg

[slickdawg]

Slickdawg - did you ever have to go to Lakewood in Jackson?

I think I could meander around that place blindfolded. Hell, half my kin is out there. I have begged Mrs. VJ not to send my dad a$$ back to Jackson to be buried.


Yep, pallbearer for my grandfather and uncle there.

[royalfan5]

My family always uses friends instead of relatives as pallbearers. On the other hand, my family wanted me to read my Grandfather's Eulogy, I declined because there was no way I could have gotten through it. However in the future I may have to be a pallbearer, but the one thing I am really dreading is that I am probably going to be the one they hand the flag to at my Grandma funeral(She was in the Navy as a nurse during WWII and Korea).

[GottaHavePride]

My tombstone will be "slickdawg, digger of graves", or something like that.
You only get to put that on if you're a comic gravedigger.


First Clown

What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the
Scripture? The Scripture says 'Adam digged:'
could he dig without arms? I'll put another
question to thee: if thou answerest me not to the
purpose, confess thyself--

Second Clown

Go to.

First Clown

What is he that builds stronger than either the
mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?

Second Clown

The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a
thousand tenants.

[BoogercountySooner]

You should be honored that you were chosen!

[StoopTroup]

I think to many funerals in one month should require some therapy.

[12]

I'm chosen for this service quite often, myself. I do find it an honor, though one time it was more frightening than honorable.

My wife's step grandfather died a couple years ago. He had been bedridden for several years and had blown up to around 600# easy. Anyway, I was chosen to help out and gladly accepted. Then, at the church, I met the other pall bearers. I don't believe a single one of them was under 70 years old. Granted, we just had to load him into the hearse, then from the hearse to the grave, but that was still quite a chore. I don't think I've ever been that nervous at a funeral. I was terrified we'd end up dropping the thing, then having to "reposition" everything for burial.

Fortunately, it all went smoothly, but I could tell some of those old guys were really struggling.

[soonerjoker]

to be chosen as a pall bearer is an honor. JMHO

[JohnnyMack]

Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913
Made his great grandchildren believe
You can live to 103
And a hundred and three is forever when you’re just a little kid
So, Cyrus Jones lived forever

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Muriel Stonewall 1903 to 1954
She lost both of her babies in the second great war
Now, you should never have to watch your only children lowered in the ground
I mean - you should never have to bury your own babies

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Ring around the rosey
Pocket full of posey
Ashes to ashes
{Musical intro}
We all fall down

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Little Mikey Carson '67 to '75
He rode his bike like the devil until the day he died
When he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze
Oh, 1940 to 1992--

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Grave digger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
I can feel the rain
I can feel the rain
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger
Grave digger