Sad News

[IronHorseSooner]

:( Well, this is the first time in a while that I have posted. After only 4 weeks at home from Iraq, my wife left me. We had been married for 14 years and were High School Sweethearts. I don't know what I did, but I bet it had something to do with her losing a lot of weight while I was gone. I guess mine is a case where I lost the fight after I got back home. She is staying in Eufala, and is in Norman right now. I need A LOT of prayers and support right now. It's been hard enough after getting back home from Iraq, now this.
:(

[sooneron]

Man , that is tough. You don't deserve this after where you've been. Thoughts are with you. Hang in there.

[BoogercountySooner]

Your in my prayers buddy!

[StoopTroup]

Same here.

Prayers for you and her.

[Tailwind]

That sucks! Best of luck to you. You've been through a lot, you'll make it through this too.

[Boomhauer]

Definitely sad news. My prayers are with you!!!! Hang in there buddy!!! And Thank You for your work!

[william_brasky]

Keep your head up bro!

[OUinFLA]

Thanks to you for serving,
prayers for your comfort.

[Howzit]

Wow. Just wow.

Thanks and condolences, you'll weather this and find someone who deserves you.

[85Sooner]

hOW TERRIBLE. I know your heart aches right now and sometimes don't know what to do. Hang in there one day at a time. God gives us many turns and tibulations in this life for a reason. sometimes we just don't know the reasons.
Prayers to you. Also thanks for protecting Us!

[Soonerbabeinbama]

My heart goes out to you. I kind of know where you are coming from. It just sucks. I don't know why things happen, but keep the faith, there will be better days. I will keep you in my prayers.

[TopDaugIn2000]

SO sorry to hear that Ironhorse. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

did she give a reason? that's just cold man. just down right cold.

[slickdawg]

:( Well, this is the first time in a while that I have posted. After only 4 weeks at home from Iraq, my wife left me. We had been married for 14 years and were High School Sweethearts. I don't know what I did, but I bet it had something to do with her losing a lot of weight while I was gone. I guess mine is a case where I lost the fight after I got back home. She is staying in Eufala, and is in Norman right now. I need A LOT of prayers and support right now. It's been hard enough after getting back home from Iraq, now this.
:(


That is absoloutely terrible news - I'm very sad to hear that you have to
deal with this, especially after just geting home from Iraq.

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Sometimes we can't understand why some things happen, but I assure you
God knows why, and keep your faith in him to guide you through this.

[Newbomb Turk]

That stinks.

Hang in there bud.

[william_brasky]

Hey dude, if she wants you back, you're going to have to do her in the pooper. That seems to be the MO of the SO in cases such as these. :P

[Rogue]

IHS, if you need it you can get some readjustment counseling at the VA, a Vet Center, or help for her through through Military One Source. www.militaryonesource.com

[AlbqSooner]

Here is my experience - at least the part of it that relates to this:

Several times in my life I have found myself saying, "This is the worst thing that could have happened to me."

INVARIABLY, a few days, weeks, months or years later, I look back over my shoulder and realize it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

We seldom understand God's plans for us, but if we keep putting one foot in front of the other and trusting Him, we are blessed more than we could have imagined.

[IronHorseSooner]

I have been in counseling for the PTSD and the family issue. Thanks for the advice. The PTSD portion is going OK through ONESOURCE...She's in Norman near LNC right now doing "God only knows what."...I get confused with a lot of these things....I have had little interest in things- EVEN MY BELOVED SOONERS! This is probably the worst time for there to be an off-season in OU sports for me. It has helped me get through some tough times. That and my faith.

[olevetonahill]

You got mine coming your way . Thanks for serving . I know what your going thru with the ptsd . But on a silver lining type note , be thankfull she didnt send ya a dear john while you were there . That happened a lot to guys in my unit in the nam :eek:
Good luck bro

[Widescreen]

Thank you for serving our country. Looks like you've sacrificed even more. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Just know that you will bounce back from this.

[Okla-homey]

Here is my experience - at least the part of it that relates to this:

Several times in my life I have found myself saying, "This is the worst thing that could have happened to me."

INVARIABLY, a few days, weeks, months or years later, I look back over my shoulder and realize it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

We seldom understand God's plans for us, but if we keep putting one foot in front of the other and trusting Him, we are blessed more than we could have imagined.

That's a big 10-4 on that. Ditto in my life too.

[StoopTroup]

That's a big 10-4 on that. Ditto in my life too.
And that makes three of us then...

Hang in there IHS!

[OklahomaTuba]

Hang in there Iron. I can't imagine being married so long, and doing something so couragous as you have done, and then having something like this done to you.

[12]

Sorry.

[sanantoniosooner]

That news sucks. Hang in there.

[usmc-sooner]

sorry,

kick her to the curb and move on. She'll eventually want to get back together I'm betting. Say hell no and keep on moving

[Flagstaffsooner]

We're all here for you Iron. Things will get better and you will get the happiness that you deserve. Thank you for serving, God bless you.

[sanantoniosooner]

sorry,

kick her to the curb and move on. She'll eventually want to get back together I'm betting. Say hell no and keep on moving
I love it when people give life changing advice to other people with nothing invested in the situation.

He needs to counsel with people he respects, and since he mentioned his faith, he needs to seek God's direction.

[usmc-sooner]

I love it when people give life changing advice to other people with nothing invested in the situation.

He needs to counsel with people he respects, and since he mentioned his faith, he needs to seek God's direction.

that's my opinion if it happened to me that's what I'd do. Someone I trusted for years did me like that I could forgive but not forget. So I'd turn my back and move on.

You know what I love is people who complain they can't get sex from their wife on a message board and really think people opinion's here are advice or counsel.

[sanantoniosooner]

that's my opinion if it happened to me that's what I'd do. Someone I trusted for years did me like that I could forgive but not forget. So I'd turn my back and move on.

You know what I love is people who complain they can't get sex from their wife on a message board and really think people opinion's here are advice or counsel.
so in his painful position the best you got is to "kick her to the curb" based on the limited information you know about either of them or their lives.

Dude, I get frustrated sometimes with my situation, and I joke about it a lot, but it's not even comparible with ripping apart a marriage of 14 years. You gotta learn to separate the play threads from the painful threads.

[Salt City Sooner]

"When You Are a Soldier"

When you are a soldier I will be your shield
I will go with you into the battlefield
And when the arrows start to fly
Take my hand and hold on tight
I will be your shield, 'cause I know how it feels
When you are a soldier

When you're tired from running
I will cheer you on
Look beside you and you'll see you're not alone
And when your strength is all but gone
I'll carry you until you're strong
And I will be your shield 'cause I know how it feels
When you're a soldier

I will be the one you can cry your songs to
My eyes will share your tears
And I'll be your friend if you win
Or if you're defeated
Whenever you need me I will be here

When you're lost in darkness I will hold the light
I will help you find your way through the night
I'll remind you of the truth
And keep the flame alive in you
And I will be your shield
'Cause I know how it feels
When you are a soldier

-Steven Curtis Chapman-

I WILL be praying for you, IHS.

[IronHorseSooner]

I can't even go into our house all alone. It's too tough. In fact, neither can she...Right now, I am staying with family in Miami,OK. What's even worse is that I am in-between stations now, and I don't really even have a set job to look forward to everyday until I go to Syracuse for graduate school through the Army. No set job, no Sooner sports, no wife, and the kids only intermittently. I pray that I can get through this. At least in combat, we had a set day on the wall for it to end.

[Octavian]

I can't even go into our house all alone. It's too tough. In fact, neither can she...Right now, I am staying with family in Miami,OK. What's even worse is that I am in-between stations now, and I don't really even have a set job to look forward to everyday until I go to Syracuse for graduate school through the Army. No set job, no Sooner sports, no wife, and the kids only intermittently. I pray that I can get through this. At least in combat, we had a set day on the wall for it to end.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Keep your chin up...Im sure there's not a way you can see a silver lining right now but dont give up.

Your children will always need a father...nothing that happens between you and her can ever change the fact that you're their dad...if nothing else, keep going for them. Hang in there.

[Okla-homey]

oh yeah, I almost forgot. Eventually, she'll put the weight back on too.;)

[VeeJay]

Hang in, IHS. There are a lot of folks here pulling for you.

Everyone who's had heartache can relate to what you're going through.

God Bless - and remember that today is a new day, and tomorrow is an even better new day.

[Dio]

Keep your chin up- you can get through this, too.

[IronHorseSooner]

oh yeah, I almost forgot. Eventually, she'll put the weight back on too.

Impossible, Gastric Bypass Surgery. Since I am an employee of the US Government, her new body comes courtesy of your hard-earned tax-payer dollars!:mad:

[Octavian]

Im beginning to not like this girl...

[Flagstaffsooner]

Think of me as your avitar speaking.

Quit feeling sorry for yourself, soldier! Staighten up, stand tall. Be proud of yourself. Go out tonight and find a nasty slut and get laid.

[BajaOklahoma]

IHS, I am sorry that you are going through this tough time, especially after just getting back.
Counseling to either help you get back together or to adjust to not being together would be a good idea.
And I have to agree that some of the worst times in my life led to some of the best times of my life - things that would not have been possible had the bad not happened.

[Scott D]

Think of me as your avitar speaking.

Quit feeling sorry for yourself, soldier! Staighten up, stand tall. Be proud of yourself. Go out tonight and find a nasty slut and get laid.

be nice Flag...he should go find a clean slut ;)

[Soonerbabeinbama]

I can't even go into our house all alone. It's too tough. In fact, neither can she...Right now, I am staying with family in Miami,OK. What's even worse is that I am in-between stations now, and I don't really even have a set job to look forward to everyday until I go to Syracuse for graduate school through the Army. No set job, no Sooner sports, no wife, and the kids only intermittently. I pray that I can get through this. At least in combat, we had a set day on the wall for it to end.
Somethings take awhile IHS. You feel like someone has come in and turned your world upside down while you were gone? I know it's hard when nothing is the same. Job situation is different, family situation is different - you kind of feel like you're on another planet. The difficult part is toughing it out. You feel like you are having a bad dream and you want to wake up - but can't. You've just got to get out of bed every morning and put one foot in front of the other and go - take one day at a time - survive that day and do it again the next day. You'll think you are in the movie "Ground Hog Day" ;) But you'll make it.

[Boomhauer]

Thought I would share this with you from my Bible reading today. From Luke 12:29-32

"Don't worry about food-what to eat and drink. Don't worry whether God will provide it for you. These things dominate the thoughts of most people, but your Father already knows your needs. He will give you all you need from day to day if you make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom."

It seems like a lot now, but God will always protect and guide you in a way in which you will be most deserving!!!!

[usmc-sooner]

so in his painful position the best you got is to "kick her to the curb" based on the limited information you know about either of them or their lives.

Dude, I get frustrated sometimes with my situation, and I joke about it a lot, but it's not even comparible with ripping apart a marriage of 14 years. You gotta learn to separate the play threads from the painful threads.


she's the one who ripped it apart by leaving and yes I'm dead serious other than having to deal with her for the kids. I'd never have anything to do with her.

IHS I hope however this turns it out it's the way you want it. I've seen the military put a lot of strain and end a lot of marriages. Here's to getting it back together and your happiness.

[TUSooner]

Thanks for your service, and prayers for your support. And that "put one foot in front of the other and trust God" thing is excellent advice.

[Penguin]

Things will get better.

You will get through this.

And at the risk of sounding like a callous *******, there are plenty of fish in the sea.


Good luck, dude.

[Okla-homey]

Impossible, Gastric Bypass Surgery. Since I am an employee of the US Government, her new body comes courtesy of your hard-earned tax-payer dollars!:mad:

Oh contraire! It happens all the time. In time, a professional eater can always figure out ways to get around the diminished stomach volume. Seen Al Roker lately?

[TopDaugIn2000]

"a professional eater........."
heh

[boomersooner28]

:( Well, this is the first time in a while that I have posted. After only 4 weeks at home from Iraq, my wife left me. We had been married for 14 years and were High School Sweethearts. I don't know what I did, but I bet it had something to do with her losing a lot of weight while I was gone. I guess mine is a case where I lost the fight after I got back home. She is staying in Eufala, and is in Norman right now. I need A LOT of prayers and support right now. It's been hard enough after getting back home from Iraq, now this.
:(


That really sucks man, but you deserve better. Good luck, stay strong.

[GottaHavePride]

Hang in there, Iron Horse. Things will work out.

[IronHorseSooner]

She was online playing that game World of Warcraft. It got on my last nerve. Instead of spending time with me, she was online playing that infernal game. She even got the kids involved. I am convinced that it's "the debbil!"

[yermom]

that **** is infectious

i know people that took 2 weeks off work to play that crap

[IronHorseSooner]

I don't know what the flippin' big deal with it is. My marriage was put on the rocks due to a d@&* computer game. You would figure infidelity, money, family problems, etc. But not a ^*() computer game.

[Melo]

EQ pwns WoW ;)

[Melo]

I don't know what the flippin' big deal with it is. My marriage was put on the rocks due to a d@&* computer game. You would figure infidelity, money, family problems, etc. But not a ^*() computer game.

As for that... its sad when people let their games rule their lives. I'm sorry about everything. Everyone has already said everything that should be said. Prayers that everything will get better for you.

[12]

I wish kids weren't involved. Please keep their best interests in mind. Don't let anger fog your judgement.

Be smart and thank you for your service to our country.

[PhxSooner]

From what I've seen in family/friend situations, it may not have been something "major" to screw up the marriage, but it was something that one spouse obsessed over, to the point of destroying home and job.

Just like everyone else, sorry to hear about this.

[IronHorseSooner]

At least I am NOT going to allow the children to get hooked, at least when they are around me. She wants to dress them up as characters and go to a convention in South Carolina. This is one of the most asanine things that I have heard. What's so stupifying is that all of us service members serve to protect the right to do this crap. This is like D&D when I was a kid! I think that it is the same people, just all grown up with too much danged time.

[yermom]

at least that isn't something that should be a dealbreaker, like her ****ing around while you were gone

it was probably easy to get sucked into that while you were gone while she was trying to fill the void that you left

hopefully she will realize how dumb it is to let that come between you

i can imagine the transition upon your return not being all that easy though

[IronHorseSooner]

I feel like hiring a PI. She was talking a lot to a guy in FLA. He was really getting on my nerves (to put it nicely). I feel like calling him and "giving him the business." But I know that I shouldn't. I have worked too hard to get where I am in life to get that.

[IronHorseSooner]

Did I also mention that she pulled for SUC in the Orange Bowl?!?!?

[yermom]

Did I also mention that she pulled for SUC in the Orange Bowl?!?!?

remember that dealbreaker thing i was talking about?

[MamaMia]

IronHorseSooner, You are not alone. All of our lives have ups and downs. You will find that happiness again, but it will just take some positive effort and a bit of time. Going to a counselor that you feel comfortable with can do wonders.

One of the ways I get through difficult times is by trying a new hobby or working on a new project. Sometimes something as simple as doing some things you have been been putting off can be a great pick-me-up. It takes your mind off of your troubles for awhile.

Most importantly, I find it helpful to concentrate on all of the good things about my life and the many wonderful blessings there are to be grateful for. It sure does put things in a better light. When you lay your head on your pillow at night, think of all the many blessings you have. It will put a smile on your face. :)

[soonerhubs]

Iron Horse,
My prayers are with you brother. You deserve nothing but the best. Thanks for serving your country. If you ever come up towards the Mountains of Utah, or if I ever get down that way, dinners on me. May God bless you folks that selflessly protect these liberties we take for granted all too often.

[Flagstaffsooner]

Did I also mention that she pulled for SUC in the Orange Bowl?!?!?That does it. You wants me to rub her out?

[IronHorseSooner]

Just an "attitude adjustment!" Right now, I think that I am going to write my Congressman and tell him that the fall of Western Civilization and the coming Armageddon will be trumpet by World of Warcraft.

[GottaHavePride]

OK, if THAT is the big issue, I definitely suggest counseling. I think she started using the game as a way to keep herself busy while you weren't around, but for some reason she's hooked and can't just drop the game now that you're back.

And the kids probably think the idea of dressing up and going to a convention is throughly embarrassing too. Hell, I was a HUGE Star Trek geek as a kid, but you wouldn't have caught me near a convention. At least not in costume. I guess what I'm saying is the kids will sort themselves out if you and the wife can fix your problems.

[boomersooner28]

Did I also mention that she pulled for SUC in the Orange Bowl?!?!?


Ok, at first this wasn't about her. I was worried about you and your happiness, BUT now that you mentioned that, the B%TCH (:twinkies: ) MUST DIE!


:texan:

[C&CDean]

You probably are not interested in my opinion.

Therefore, I shant offer it. However, I will offer this:

1. Nut up.

2. Quit wallowing in your grief.

3. Move on. You're a soldier, she's a yainch.

4. Good luck.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

What you do is read up on War Craft or whatever, find out some clever information and dress up like that guy, come in one nite and be like "So and So, this is Commander Doofus of the Galatictic high command....I must implore you to not play warcraft for 234 days or the Empire shall fall.

[slickdawg]

Did I also mention that she pulled for SUC in the Orange Bowl?!?!?


That's a one-way fast-ticket to hell all in itself.

[slickdawg]

You probably are not interested in my opinion.

Therefore, I shant offer it. However, I will offer this:

1. Nut up.

2. Quit wallowing in your grief.

3. Move on. You're a soldier, she's a yainch.

4. Good luck.


While providing comfort is not Dean's best character trait, the man
is dead freakin on' with his advice. I have yet to see ONE THING
that he's said that I disagree with.


Thanks to Dean, I can never look at a cow the same. Now when I see one,
I say to myself "there goes the one creature that is some damned dumb, it
deserves to be eaten"

[yermom]

OK, if THAT is the big issue, I definitely suggest counseling. I think she started using the game as a way to keep herself busy while you weren't around, but for some reason she's hooked and can't just drop the game now that you're back.

And the kids probably think the idea of dressing up and going to a convention is throughly embarrassing too. Hell, I was a HUGE Star Trek geek as a kid, but you wouldn't have caught me near a convention. At least not in costume. I guess what I'm saying is the kids will sort themselves out if you and the wife can fix your problems.

depends on how old they are

if she's that ready to up and leave, i have to think there is something with the guy from FLA, hopefully i'm wrong

if so, you are probably better off :(

[StoopTroup]

Iron...

Just be the guy she fell in Love with...

If she thinks she can do better...let her try...

I bet she can't.

[Sooner in Tampa]

You probably are not interested in my opinion.

Therefore, I shant offer it. However, I will offer this:

1. Nut up.

2. Quit wallowing in your grief.

3. Move on. You're a soldier, she's a yainch.

4. Good luck.Dean hits a homerun again.

IHS, thank you for your service you are an American Hero!!!

My buddy went to Desert Storm/Desert Shield and he came home to a very similar situation...the big diff is that she was humping another dude...all these years later he is still my best friend and she is still a yianch. He is doing fine, he moved on. Sometimes life sucks....but it is always HIS plan. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

God Bless you IHS, and I will pray that everything works out for "the best"...whatever that may be.

[caphorns]

Let me ask you a simple question. Could your despise of this video game have created some of this rift? Maybe some jealousy got mixed in - especially with the surgery involved? If there's any way you can bring your wife to counselling (she may already be literally gone I assume) then I advise it for the entire family. BUT, counselling will only work if she does not have an ongoing relationship with someone else. She would have to be willing to cut that off.

Sorry, but I'm a believer in giving people more than one chance - having needed more than one chance before in my life. I also believe that counselling can just as easily lead to a conclusion that divorce is best FOR ALL PARTIES. What I see here is more of a one-sided deal and stuff that needs to be communicated fully with a third party where each side is accountable for the bullsh!t that might spew from their mouths.

[C&CDean]

psst.. Dean...

Those are opinions.

Persevere Iron... Take the high road. You answer first to God and then yourself.

Nay, counselor.

An opinion would go something like this:

Are you ****ing kidding me? This **** is telling you she's hooked on some POS video game - and you're buying it? She's out getting her drawers boffed off is where she's at. And if she really is hooked on a game to the point where she needs her game more than you then to the gutter with the dumbass broad. If she's that nuts, she's also nuts enough to denut you in the wee hours of the morning or run off with your kids. Don't be a typical dumbass man and cry in your beer and beg for her pathetic *** back just cause you've been miserably married for 14 years. You need to run. Get the **** ouot. Run. Like. Hell.

That's an opinion.

[TexasLidig8r]

You probably are not interested in my opinion.

Therefore, I shant offer it. However, I will offer this:

1. Nut up.

2. Quit wallowing in your grief.

3. Move on. You're a soldier, she's a yainch.

4. Good luck.

psst.. Dean...

Those are opinions.

Persevere Iron... Take the high road. You answer first to God and then yourself.

[usmc-sooner]

psst.. Dean...

Those are opinions.

Persevere Iron... Take the high road. You answer first to God and then yourself.


sounds more like good advice.

[crawfish]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, IHS. Those online games can be a nasty addiction. :(